Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating

Edited by Divetus

In order to make the game more vivid and amusing, the NCH developers secretly arranged many perverse and distasteful little game settings..

For example, if an Opportunity Stone gave garbage, the system would broadcast it.

Or for instance, if you spend a lot of money and end up building garbage equipment, the system would also broadcast it.

Another example was… if a completely maxed level character with full cultivation points died through some outlandish method, the system would also broadcast this——

[System: Don't Ask when I'll Return has accidentally fallen off a cliff in the Valley of Falling Flowers, and is seriously injured and can't get up!]

[System: Half Life has accidentally fallen off a cliff in the Valley of Falling Flowers, and is seriously injured and can't get up!]

[System: Sheep Hair has accidentally fallen off a cliff in the Valley of Falling Flowers, and is seriously injured and can't get up!]

The death penalty of falling from a high place was the lightest in NCH, and only caused a player to lose a small amount of experience points, not money or equipment.

[World] Attractive Blossom Eyes: ?

[World] Have Today's Flowers Been Managed: ??

[World] Is Gege Big: What's this situation? Teamed up and crashed together?

[World] Love Eating Chips: [surprised] The system will broadcast it if you fall to your death? I die from falling every day, but it never gets broadcasted!!

[World] Pushing Fog: Only fully cultivated great God accounts will have this kind of wacky system broadcast. The team leader's computer probably crashed and made him jump off a cliff with all his team members.

Just after saying that, there were three new system notifications——

[System: Don't Ask when I'll Return has accidentally fallen off a cliff in the Valley of Falling Flowers, and is seriously injured and can't get up!]

[System: Half Life has accidentally fallen off a cliff in the Valley of Falling Flowers, and is seriously injured and can't get up!]

[System: Sheep Hair has accidentally fallen off a cliff in the Valley of Falling Flowers, and is seriously injured and can't get up!]

The Illusion server players were initially all dumbfounded but then reacted quickly. What kind of fucking situation was this ah!

After a moment, countless onlookers swarmed into the Valley of Falling Flowers like bees, just in time to see three great Gods standing on the edge of the Valley of Falling Flower's highest cliff, jumping without looking back.

The three characters fell to the ground and lost all their health as soon as they landed, pathetically tragic.

On the cliff was a person still standing there.

A little fox fairy in black apparel, holding a black whip that shone with a golden light, motionlessly standing at the mountain peak.

Maybe it was because of the new apparel, but the little fox fairy who usually looked soft and cute, seemed like a great hero ascending the heavens today. She stood aloft, looking down disdainfully at the people below.

The person's temperament inexplicably resembled the man in the title.

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: 3 / 5.

A random sentence, but the crowd instantly understood it——

Five required deaths, with two to go.

They only saw the doomed group of three lay on the ground for 30 seconds, and after the current position resurrection CD wore off, they strongly stood up again.

[Current] Half Life: Huanhuan, doing this during the Spring Festival QAQ isn't it so unlucky ah.

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: Yes.

[Current] Half Life: Kiss kiss daddy [holding thigh and crying]

[Current] Xiao Tianjing: How about you jump eight times, to allow you guys to get a lucky number?

[Current] Half Life: Wait here honorable sir, we're coming up [heart]

The three of them silently climbed back up and jumped down again.

The masses observing from the far away transport portal who didn’t dare to approach: &#k2026;

How ruthless!

The first server bully after the Illusion server integration had been born!

Jing Huan crossed his legs, browsing through his WeChat Moments while occasionally raising his eyes to check their progress.

He had no interest in being a server bully. He just didn't like it if others made up and passed around his stories. If he didn't teach these three people a lesson now, they would still dare to continue their actions in the future.

As the fourth notification of them falling off the cliff appeared, his friend's notification also suddenly lit up.

[Couple] Yearning For: Hello Server Bully.

Jing Huan was stunned. When did Xiang Huaizhi get online? He actually hadn't even noticed.

[Couple] Xiao Tianjing: Hello, Madam Server Bully. Did Madam Server Bully eat yet?

[Couple] Yearning For: Yes. Just came back from a relative's home.

[Couple] Yearning For: Wait for me there.

Yearning For soon appeared in the Valley of Falling Flowers and pulled Jing Huan into a team, flying away without looking back.

Only the three people who had just climbed the mountain were left. They all looked at each other, unsure if they still needed to jump for the last time.

-

This year, besides the first day of the lunar new year, Jing Huan found the vacation bland and tasteless.

After visiting his last relative, Jing Huan immediately became revitalized right there. Just as he came out of his relative's house, he took out his cellphone and sent Xiang Huaizhi a message.

Happiness Every Day: New Year's Visits Quests (7/7) [twirling around]

Wanting Happiness Every Day: (9/12)

Wanting Happiness Every Day: Eating, I'll call you soon.

Happiness Every Day: Okay.

His parents were still inside, saying goodbye to their relatives. Jing Huan waited by the door with a bag in one hand, conveniently letting the wind pass through.

Next to him stood a relative whose name he couldn't remember. She was probably the daughter of a distant relative.

The girl looked at most to be in high school. She stood with her back towards Jing Huan, her head bowed, talking on the phone. She couldn't help shifting her body back and forth as she talked, her skirt elegantly swishing.

Jing Huan didn't intentionally want to eavesdrop, but it was snowing outside, and he could only stand under the eaves with her, side by side.

"Just finished visiting all of my relatives, I'm coming back right now la."

"En… I miss you too."

"Okay ah, let's do our homework together tomorrow… I'm definitely not going to write it for you! Your handwriting is so ugly, the teacher will figure it out in a glance."

The girl spoke very gently, every sentence sounded coquettish.

Jing Huan boldly eavesdropped for a while and eventually heard her get to the end of her conversation..

"I'll see you tomorrow then, hanging up now la."

Ten seconds later——

"Why haven't you hung up ah…?" The girl asked while laughing.

"No, you hang up first, I won't give up."

"You first la!"

"No…"

Jing Huan took a deep breath and wanted to turn around and say, don't argue anymore, do you need Ge to help you hang up?

The young puppy love couple dragged this situation on for several minutes before the girl shyly hung up. She turned around and finally noticed that there was another person standing beside her.

The girl was startled. After a while, she timidly called out, "Jing Gege."

Jing Huan expressionlessly let out an "en" and glanced at her short skirt. "Go inside ba, it's cold outside."

Xiang Huazhi called him just as he arrived home in the evening.

Jing Huan heard several conversations on the other end. "You're still not home yet?"

"No," said Xiang Huaizhi. "It started heavily snowing here, can't return tonight."

Jing Huan went to bed and laid down. "Then, you can't come to fight in the arena tonight?"

Xiang Huaizhi let out an "en" sound. "You can go find Lu Wenhao and Gao Zixiang and them to fight with you ba."

Jing Huan thought it was funny. "Who dares to partner with me in the arena right now ah?"

Qiufeng's bloody example was on everyone's minds.

Jing Huan got out his pajamas and said, "Even Lu Wenhao doesn't dare to go in with me. Look at how much you've intimidated everyone…"

Xiang Huaizhi stood on the balcony wearing earphones, reading the text messages he had just received. He heard him and laughed, "If I wasn't like that, how could I match you and be Madam Server Bully?"

Jing Huan had put on his pajama top and was just about to change his pants when he suddenly thought of something and took a look at his leg.

Xiang Huaizhi's smile faded a bit as he heard the sound of his elders coming from behind him, and he was just about to say something.

"Gege, umm," Jing Huan cleared his throat. "All those things are gone."

Xiang Huaizhi paused and asked, "What?"

"The things on my neck and body." Jing Huan slowly said, "On my thigh… There's still a bit left. It'll probably heal by tomorrow or the day after ba."

His implication was, that all the hickies were gone, so when could we meet ah.

Jing Huan felt that he was too miserable. As soon as he started dating, it was a holiday and then the Spring Festival. He could hear and see his boyfriend, but couldn't touch him.

Xiang Huaizhi said, "After so many days it still hasn't disappeared? Buy some medicine to apply on it."

Jing Huan: "…"

Jing Huan spat out, "Forget it."

Xiang Huaizhi restrained himself from laughing and wanted to say a few more words when he heard footsteps behind him.

He muted himself on the call and turned his head to answer with a few words.

Jing Huan also heard the footsteps and said, "You should go do your thing ba, we'll talk again when you're free.""

Xiang Huaizhi replied, "Okay."

Jing Huan suddenly thought of the outrageous conversation he had accidentally overheard in the afternoon.

After a while, the call still hadn't been ended, and Jing Huan followed his relative's example. "Why haven't you hung up yet ah?"

He didn't have time to finish the rest.

"Oh." As if he had just realized it, Xiang Huaizhi said, "Didn't actually hit it."

As soon as he said that, Jing Huan heard two beeps, and the call interface instantly disappeared—Xiang Huaizhi had hung up with no hesitation.

Jing Huan: "…"

Mwah…

Both couples were in love and dating, but why did he feel like he couldn't compare to those two damn whelps in the midst of their puppy love?

Forget it.

Jing Huan comforted himself. Two grown men shouldn't try to follow the overly sentimental actions of young boys and girls.

Jing Huan opened up NCH, organized his inventory and summoning beasts for a bit, and was preparing to go to the arena solo to fight 1v1 when his cellphone suddenly lit up.

It was a WeChat message sent by Xiang Huaizhi.

Wanting Happiness Every Day: Was urgently trying to get tickets, so didn't have time to hang up.

Happiness Every Day: What tickets?

Wanting Happiness Every Day: Two tickets for NCH's press conference about the new expansion.

Wanting Happiness Every Day: [Ticket screenshot]

Wanting Happiness Every Day: It's this weekend, and the venue is also in Man City, so it's surrounded by other activities. Go see it together?

?

Jing Huan pounded out three successive messages of "go" but then felt that he was being too reserved.

Happiness Every Day: Go go go go go go go go!

Happiness Every Day: See you during the weekend ah, boyfriend.

Happiness Every Day: [blows you a kiss]

Be reserved my ass.

Jing Huan opened the screenshot, looked at the address on the ticket, and then opened a travel app to search for nearby hotels in real time.

The corner of his mouth twitched up, and he lazily smiled, as if he had won a battle.

What was the use of puppy love?

It's still happier dating as adults. 🙂

—

Juurensha: Huanhuan taking back his server bully title I guess.

Divi: Gotta show them your dominance Huanhuan! They can't spread slanderous tales!!! Huanhuan trying to imitate high schoolers makes me laugh.

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