Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating

Edited by Divetus

Xiang Huaizhi looked at his astonished face and wanted to laugh a little.

"How much did it cost?" he asked.

" 200 ." Jing Huan slowly composed himself, and feeling the warmth of Xiang Huaizhi's palm, he swallowed. "How did you know I was here?"

"I saw the picture, and recognized the place." Xiang Huaizhi asked, "Why didn't you tell me when you arrived?"

"Originally, I was going to, but then I saw that you were at a family gathering… So, I decided I was going to tell you when you finished over there."

At this time, the barbecue stand's owner came over to hand over some hot peppers. "Young man, if it's not spicy enough, you can add some more yourself ah. These chili peppers are very fragrant… Is this your friend? Would you like to get some more kebabs?"

"No need." After he finished saying that, Xiang Huaizhi lowered his head and asked him, "Do you still want to eat?"

Jing Huan had originally wanted to invite him to sit down and eat together, but he thought about how it was Xiang Huaizhi's birthday today and that if he just treated him to eat this… It wouldn't be very good.

So he shook his head. "No, but will it be too wasteful?"

"It's okay," Xiang Huaizhi said. "Boss, can you pack it to go?"

Jing Huan left the barbecue stand carrying flowers and a present, attracting many of the passersby gazes.

The two of them gave the kebabs to a homeless person on the street..

Xiang Huaizhi had driven here with his car, and he parked in the shopping mall's parking lot on the opposite side.

He got in the car, turned on the heat, and had just wanted to ask something when a bunch of flowers appeared before his eyes.

"Happy birthday, Gege." Jing Huan put the gift box on top of the roses and said the birthday wishes he had spent all night thinking of, "I hope that you get high-quality material drops every instance, always successfully create divine equipment, encounter fortuitous meetings on all your dailies, get constant critical hits in the arena…"

Xiang Huaizhi was surprised for a bit before he lowered his head and laughed..

Someone who didn't know any better would think that they were chatting in NCH.

"Can't you wish me something more realistic?" He interrupted him.

Jing Huan paused and said, "Isn't this realistic? What counts as realistic then?"

Xiang Huaizhi replied, "For example, be happy every day?"

Jing Huan was stunned and said, "En, en… Be happy every day."

Xiang Huaizhi took the gifts, got out of the car and placed them on the back seat.

When he came back in again, he asked, "What would you like to eat?"

"Anything is fine." Jing Huan had fastened his seat belt and glanced at the person next to him.

It looked like Xiang Huaizhi was only loosely holding the steering wheel, but in fact, his grip was very steady. Jing Huan stared at the steering wheel for a long time before looking away.

He looked out of the window, a bit puzzled.

Why did he still look so handsome when just driving a car ah.

Xiang Huaizhi felt Jing Huan's gaze. He suppressed his smile and casually asked, "Do you like eating noodles?"

"Like it." Jing Huan answered quickly without a second thought.

"It might not taste very good, and the noodles aren't very chewy."

"It doesn't matter."

The corner of Xiang Huaizhi's mouth quirked up. "That's good."

Jing Huan had originally wanted to say a few more words, but the cellphone in his pocket suddenly rang.

Jing Huan looked down and chatted for a bit. When he looked up again, the gate in front of him was slowly rising.

His heart leapt, and he immediately looked at his surroundings without showing his feelings.

It was a residential complex.

Everything was very quiet and full of greening .

?

He was visiting Xiang Huaizhi's house???

He got off the car completely muddle-headed and followed Xiang Huaizhi into the elevator before uncomfortably asking, "Coming here just like this, will I disturb Uncle and Auntie's rest ah?"

Xiang Huaizhi pressed the elevator button. "No, they're not here."

Jing Huan looked at him in a daze.

"This is my high school apartment. It's near the school and I still come back occasionally." Xiang Huaizhi explained, "It's just that there's nothing here except noodles. If you don't like them, we can order takeout."

Jing Huan had only set out today with his computer within his backpack.

He tugged his backpack’s elastic cord and tried to calm himself down. “I like it, I’m not picky about food.”

Entering the house, Jing Huan reflexively looked around.

The apartment was decorated very minimalistically. It could be seen that the house was regularly cleaned, and the furniture were all maintained.

After entering the room, Xiang Huaizhi washed the vase on the table and put the flowers inside it.

"Can you eat spicy?" He asked while opening the refrigerator.

Jing Huan put his backpack on the sofa and went into the kitchen. "No… Shall I cook it? It's your birthday, I'll cook you a bowl of longevity noodles ."

"Do you know how to?" Xiang Huaizhi asked.

Jing Huan raised his chin and said, "I'm called the little noodle prince."

Xiang Huaizhi laughed, "Okay. Then, I'll go take a bath? I was careless while eating and got something on my clothes."

"Okay."

Xiang Huaizhi's apartment kitchen wasn't small, but it was a bit crowded when two male students stood side-by-side. As Xiang Huaizhi passed, he pressed against Jing Huan's side.

Jing Huan smelled the light scent of wine and a touch of cologne on his body. He had originally thought it was the car's smell.

Jing Huan instinctively grabbed him so Xiang Huaizhi stopped walking and turned his head around.

Jing Huan didn't know why he grabbed him, but since he already had…

He lowered his head and sniffed a bit. "Gege, did you spray on some cologne ah?"

"En," Xiang Huaizhi said, "Only do a bit for these kinds of occasions. Does it irritate your nose?"

Jing Huan immediately shook his head. "Smells good, but it seems a little light, so I can't smell it clearly."

As soon as he finished talking, Xiang Huaizhi lifted his wrist and stretched it out in front of him. .

Jing Huan felt like he was about to be completely enveloped in Xiang Huaizhi's scent.

"Didn't put much on." Xiang Huaizhi said, "If you like it, I'll give you a bottle later."

Although Xiang Huaizhi had already entered the next room, Jing Huan still just stood in place, having not recovered yet.

After a long time, he went to fetch the water with a red face.

While waiting for the water to boil, he casually played on his cellphone. After leaving the school, their dorm group chat had become increasingly lively, sometimes they would talk about NCH as well. Jing Huan scrolled through it, but didn't actually manage to read a single line.

Fuck ah.

Soon, we'll finish eating noodles, what should we do afterwards?

Two men all by themselves…

Xiao Jing ya: @Gao Zixiang, want to ask you something.

Gao Zixiang: Ah?

Xiao Jing ya: Have you ever been to Xiao Lian's house?

Xiao Lian was Gao Zixiang's childhood friend and girlfriend.

Gao Zixiang: Been over ah.

Xiao Jing ya: Alone?

Gao Zixiang: ? If not that, would I have heart-to-heart talks with her parents? What's the matter ah? Just say it.

Xiao Jing ya: Oh, I just wanted to ask you what you guys usually do.

Gao Zixiang: ?

Lu Wenhao: ??? Has it begun?

Jing Huan was perplexed.

Xiao Jing ya: Has what begun?

Lu Wenhao: What time is it ah, is it the time to start talking about restricted topics?

Lu Wenhao: Come on ba, I'm ready.

Gao Zixiang: We do happy things together.

Xiao Jing ya: ?

Jing Huan quickly reacted.

He typed: Laozi didn't mean that——

Gao Zixiang: Although I'm not sure why you asked me, I still have to remind you..

Gao Zixiang: [Japanese Imported 001 Condoms. http://…., click the link and select the browser]

Gao Zixiang: You have grown up.

Jing Huan withdrew from the group chat.

After Xiang Huaizhi finished his bath, he came out wearing a very thin T-shirt. His clothes were a bit wet from the water, so the color became even darker.

Jing Huan put the noodles he was holding onto the table. "Just in time…"

Xiang Huaizhi lifted his eyebrows, raised his hand and placed the back of it on Jing Huan's face.

Jing Huan really thought that he couldn't fucking say anything now.

"Why's your face so red? The heating is too high?" Xiang Huaizhi asked.

Xiang Huaizhi was worried about him, but his mind was just full of that fucking link to that treasure.

Jing Huan was ashamed. "It is a little hot."

After they finished eating the noodles, it was already past 9 p.m.

After washing the bowls, Xiang Huaizhi asked, "How long was the car ride here?"

"Not too long," Jing Huan sat on the sofa, updating NCH. "Took a taxi, little more than an hour."

Xiang Huaizhi glanced at the time. "Then, are you going back tonight?"

?

???

Jing Huan, holding the computer, turned around and asked honestly, "Can I not go back?"

Xiang Huaizhi chuckled, "Yes, but did you bring clothes?"

"No," Jing Huan said, "I can just not change…"

Xiang Huaizhi said, "I have lots of clothes, would you be okay with wearing them?"

Five minutes later, Jing Huan entered the bathroom carrying Xiang Huaizhi's clothes.

Xiang Huaizhi sat on the sofa and took over Jing Huan's computer to help him finish up his quests.

At this time, the cellphone on the table lit up.

Their cellphones were the same model, and neither of them had cellphone cases, so until he saw the content on the screen, Xiang Huaizhi didn't realize that this wasn't his own cellphone.

Gao Zixiang: Holy shit… You really left ah, weren't you the one that asked me?

Gao Zixiang: Lovers are at home and alone, what else could they do besides that?! It couldn't be that they would just stare at each other while playing games?!

Gao Zixiang: You couldn't be going to the mysterious upperclassman girl's home ba?

Gao Zixiang: I'll bring you back into the group chat. Don't leave again, I'll just not share the condom link… How thin is your skin?

After reading all of this, Xiang Huaizhi very faintly raised his eyebrows and didn't put the cellphone back in place until Gao Zixiang finished speaking.

He didn't show it on his face, but it could be seen that his speed of doing the dailies had slowed down a bit.

When Jing Huan came out of the bathroom, Xiang Huaizhi had just finished the Three Realms quest. He raised his eyes to say something but when he saw the person clearly, he fell silent again.

Jing Huan was wearing his gray T-shirt. Although it didn't have the exaggerated effect of a "boyfriend shirt", it was still too big for Jing Huan. You could see that it didn't fit properly at a glance. The length was just right, but the collar badly drooped, which exposed his neck.

Jing Huan wiped away the water at the ends of his hair with a towel. "I just accidentally dropped the shower head and it sprayed all over my face…"

Xiang Huaizhi let out an "en" and said, "Your cellphone has been ringing this entire time."

Jing Huan walked up to him, picked it up and glanced at it before immediately looking at Xiang Huaizhi guiltily.

Fuck.

Is this a question of thin skin?

It's just that, if he was currently at the house of the girl he liked and the girl knew that he was looking at condom purchase links, wouldn't she be scared away?

Jing Huan, the former straight man, had a troubled face. He wanted to cover this up and just delete his chat record with Gao Zixiang.

But Gao Zixiang also said some right things.

What was the difference between playing games face-to-face with the people you like and bros?

Jing Huan dazedly rubbed his hair and was just about to open his mouth to speak when Xiang Huaizhi closed the computer first. "Watch a movie?"

Xiang Huaizhi's apartment TV set was quite big.

The sofa was also very big, and the two grown men didn't feel cramped while sitting together.

A Western film played on the TV and the lights were off, but it still didn't have the effect of being in a movie theater. Jing Huan didn't pay too much attention to the movie and just kept glancing at Xiang Huaizhi from time to time.

They sat so close that Jing Huan couldn't even tell whether the smell around them was his or Xiang Huaizhi's.

Halfway through the movie, the scene cut to a beach.

The Western actress was wearing a sexy bikini, confidently showing off her body, making people's blood simmer with excitement.

Jing Huan immediately turned to look at the person next to him, just in time to meet Xiang Huaizhi's gaze.

Xiang Huaizhi's eyes were bright. "What are you looking at?"

"Not…" The sound of a man and woman kissing soon came from the TV. Jing Huan licked his lower lip and asked, "Do you like this type of figure?"

Xiang Huaizhi replied, "It's alright."

Jing Huan: "…"

Jing Huan said, "Oh."

He slowly looked away, and the person next to him suddenly laughed.

It was a very light laugh, and he didn't know what it meant.

Maybe it was the laugh, or maybe it was the dim atmosphere that was too ambiguous.

When Jing Huan snapped out of it, he had already grasped Xiang Huaizhi's wrist and had drawn a bit closer to him.

Xiang Huaizhi looked at him calmly.

On the TV, two cars collided and made a loud explosion. The two people's eyes met in the darkness, entwined and restless.

The mood was so good that Jing Huan had propped himself up on the sofa and leaned forward. He was about to touch Xiang Huaizhi's lips but then stopped midway.

"What's the matter?" Not having gotten the expected kiss, Xiang Huaizhi raised his eyebrows.

"I don't want to do any more of these vague things." Jing Huan said.

Xiang Huaizhi lowered his eyes, just about to say something.

"I like you." Jing Huan jut out his lower lip and quickly said, "So I don't want to talk about debts between us again. After I'm done with this kiss, I still want to kiss you next time. I want to be able to kiss you all the time…"

"What did you mean by telling Qiufeng that I'm your wife? I'm a grown man after all… Of course, it's not that you can't call me that. As long as you want me, wife, husband, you can call me whatever you like."

"I like you." He repeated, "… I want to date you."

Jing Huan finished saying all of this at once.

The person in front of him was still silent, even his position hadn't changed.

This was Jing Huan's first time liking someone. All of his life's confessions were folded and combined into the one toward Xiang Huaizhi. These few seconds of silence was like a heavy hammer, nearly suffocating him.

He laughed a bit, and his voice was a little hoarse, "Of course, I'm not trying to coerce you. If you don't like me, I'll still try my best…"

Jing Huan was thinking about how to smooth things over when he was interrupted.

Xiang Huaizhi raised his hand, clasped the back of his neck, pushed him forward, and deeply kissed him.

Jing Huan was stunned for a moment before immediately opening his mouth to respond to Xiang Huaizhi.

The tips of their noses met and rubbed together as they grinded against each other, kissing passionately until they were dazed. The dark environment made a person feel even more sensitive, and at the end of the kissing, Jing Huan's whole body just laid on the sofa. The gray T-shirt violently fluctuated with its new owner's breathing.

Afraid that he'd crush and hurt him, Xiang Huaizhi propped up one leg. His five fingers were deep in Jing Huan's black hair, soothingly rubbing it.

Jing Huan was relieved and suddenly felt that he was really worthless.

He had just finished saying that he didn't want to do these vague things, but then in the blink of an eye, they were kissing again.

His eyelids fluttered, and he laughed, "If I were a girl, you would have to be responsible for me now…"

"I like you." Xiang Huaizhi laughed.

Jing Huan froze and stared at him without blinking.

Xiang Huaizhi asked, "Do you want to date?"

Jing Huan's head was completely blank for a moment.

After a bit, he reached out and gently pulled on Xiang Huaizhi's T-shirt.

"Yes." Jing Huan licked his lower lip and urged in a hoarse voice. "Kiss me again, boyfriend."

—

Juurensha: Soo, this chapter originally got locked for the mention of the two of them grinding, but since Asami helped me copy out the original chapter, you guys get that one mention too!

Divi: Finally the resolution! They're dating! REJOICE! They also got a bit steamy.

And we have a fanart page!

And be sure to support the raws!