Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating

Edited by Divetus

When Jing Huan returned home, his mind was whirling.

He felt like it was due to a lack of oxygen.

Jing Huan took off his coat, casually tossed it to the side and then threw himself onto the sofa. His long legs randomly hung off the sofa and he raised his hand to cover his eyes.

Fuck.

Oh my God.

It felt too fucking good ba…

He recalled the kiss just now, and instantly felt a little out of breath. Just thinking about it made his ears feel hot again.

Jing Huan was the one that ended that kiss.

He had been a bit reluctant, but if they didn't stop… His reaction would've definitely been discovered by Xiang Huaizhi, which was too embarrassing.

Fortunately, winter wear was thick and coupled with the cold wind blowing, he didn't make a fool of himself on the road as he was returning.

He took out his cellphone and clicked on his stickied chat.

Xiao Jing ya: Gege ~~~ Have you arrived at your dormitory~~~~?

Xiang: ?

Xiang: Arrived.

Xiao Jing ya: I'll take a bath first ah. Are you going to bed early today?

Xiang Huaizhi took out some clothes from his wardrobe while lowering his head and replying to the messages.

At this time, Lu Hang took off his headphones and got up to get some water, still chatting the entire time.

"Just now, I took the time to do a big 20 person instance, so exhausting. Several of the DPS looked like they didn't know how to play. Killed nearly 2 hours for doing it…"

His prattling stopped after he clearly saw Xiang Huaizhi's face.

Lu Hang was momentarily stunned but then quickly stepped forward to carefully inspect Xiang Huaizhi's clothes. He asked in shock, "Xiangxiang… Did someone beat you up?"

"No," Xiang Huaizhi answered.

"Your mouth even has broken skin! Fuck me, who is it that isn't afraid of dying? Why did they beat you ah? Don't tell me that someone's girlfriend confessed to you?" Lu Hang looked further down and was even more surprised. "No way… Why are there also bite marks on your chin?"

Why else?

Recalling Jing Huan sucking on and biting his chin, Xiang Huaizhi felt this whole thing was funny.

He forced himself to not smile and asked, "What do you think?"

"What do I think?"

"Who fights and only hits the mouth?"

When he finished saying that, Xiang Huaizhi took his clothes and cellphone to enter the bathroom, leaving behind a bewildered Lu Hang.

Xiang: Have to study, not sleeping yet.

Xiao Jing ya: Then, can we talk later?

Xiang: En.

Xiao Jing ya: I'll go take a bath then~~~~~

Xiang: … Don't send so many symbols.

Xiao Jing ya: Oh~ 😀

Jing Huan took a somewhat long bath.

When he came out, he only wore a pair of loose pajama pants and wiped his hair as he looked through his chat messages with Xiang Huaizhi. When he saw the several ~, he felt a bit shy, but he particularly wanted to laugh.

He sent an emoticon, but the other party didn't reply.

Jing Huan sat down at his computer desk, opened his photos and added a photo to his WeChat Moments after not having updated in awhile. He then started to scroll through the messages he received in the last few hours.

Lu Wenhao: [shared post—Tonight, the sports field's brightest light broke down. Saw a lot of inappropriate scenes for children!]

Jing Huan's heart thumped, and he stopped drying his hair.

With a guilty conscience, he clicked to open the post. When he saw that no one mentioned him or Xiang Huaizhi, he was relieved and closed the post.

Lu Wenhao: Tch tch tch look guys, look!

Xiao Jing ya: Look at what?

Lu Wenhao: This group of men and women were actually doing such illicit things in the school's sacred place!!!

Lu Wenhao: Completely shameless!

Xiao Jing ya: You're right.

Lu Wenhao: But I heard that since the light was broken tonight, the scene was even more intense than before!

Xiao Jing ya: Oh, I'm really shameless.

Xiao Jing ya: [ The magic of love spinning all around ]

Lu Wenhao: ?

Lu Wenhao: ???

Jing Huan was overwhelmed with joy and just let Lu Wenhao continuously @him. He didn’t reply to a single message.

Xiang: Here, just took a bath.

Jing Huan blinked and looked up at the time.

Xiao Jing ya: Such a long bath?

Afterwards, the other side repeatedly had the "Typing" notification show up.

Jing Huan's mouth quirked up, and he typed: You really like to be clean——

Before he sent it, the phone vibrated.

Xiang: En, I also did something else.

Xiao Jing ya: …

Xiao Jing ya: Oh.

Jing Huan felt a little hot for no reason. He reached out and rubbed his face.

Xiao Jing ya: Me too.

Xiao Jing ya: I also did some other things.

Jing Huan's heart pounded. He had never talked about perverted topics with any other boy before because he felt it was senseless.

How could they shift into this topic naturally ah?

Or maybe he should Baidu it first…

Xiang: I memorized half a page of key study points.

Xiao Jing ya: ?

Xiang: The paper almost got wet.

Xiao Jing ya: …

Xiang: What did you do?

Jing Huan expressionlessly typed.

Xiao Jing ya: I… was also studying key points.

Xiang: So well-behaved?

Xiao Jing ya: I love studying. Studying makes me happy.

Jing Huan leaned back and began to reflect on himself——

Anyway, getting such a reaction from just a kiss was so lame ba…

Staying calm in the face of danger was the mark of a true man!

Next time he definitely won't be like this!

Xiang Huaizhi replied again, but with a voice message this time.

Jing Huan was unprepared and could hardly restrain his smile when he opened it.

"Just teasing you, wasn't studying."

Jing Huan held his phone, stunned.

Not studying… Then, what did he do?

Make it clear ah! I don't have enough data!!!

Jing Huan swallowed several times and felt that his heart rate was already completely out of his control.

-

The next day, Jing Huan went to the library early in the morning.

The exam was tomorrow, so he had to take this last chance to cram.

Lu Wenhao and Gao Zixiang also came and brought him breakfast. Jing Huan had the bowl of food outside of the library and then went back in.

As soon as he sat down, Gao Zixiang asked, "Did you go to the sports field last night?"

Jing Huan immediately turned to look at him. "… How did you know?"

"Didn't you put it in your Moments?" Gao Zixiang looked at him strangely.

Jing Huan was shocked and then remembered.

He did upload a photo of the sports field. He took it casually, it wasn't very aesthetic. The caption was just a sunglasses emoji.

Gao Zixiang put on one side of his earphones. "Went with Xiang Ge, right?"

Jing Huan was even more surprised. "How did you know that too?!"

Gao Zixiang stared at him blanky and confusedly said, "Because Xiang Ge also put up a similar photo ah? What's wrong with you, you keep getting so surprised…"

Jing Huan casually responded, saying that he was fine and then immediately took out his cellphone to scroll through his WeChat Moments list.

Xiang Huaizhi really did post it. He had posted his Moments just a bit past 1 last night which was a picture of the school track.

It was the same as him… Not aesthetic.

But Xiang Huaizhi's post was more cool. It had no emojis and was just the picture by itself.

Tch.

Why was it like they were sending secret signals?

As soon as he had this idea, Jing Huan couldn't snap out of it and raised his hand to like the photo.

At noon, the three of them went to the canteen to have a meal together.

"I'm done. I'm going to fail. I just opened the study outline and looked at it. Don't even talk about memorizing the back page, I've already fucking forgot everything on the front page.." Lu Wenhao's face was full of melancholy. "If you bros still have a conscience, remember to visit me when I have to retake the class."

Jing Huan laughed and said, "It's just retaking the class, don't say it like you're going to jail."

"Is there any difference?" Lu Wenhao looked up, saw that he was playing with his cellphone, and asked, "Are you full?"

Jing Huan replied, "I'm full."

"Then I'm eating this beef ah, don't waste it." Lu Wenhao said, helping himself to the beef on Jing Huan's plate.

Gao Zixiang patted Lu Wenhao's shoulder and said, "Hao'er, this is the difference between you and handsome Ge."

Lu Wenhao spat at him.

Jing Huan heard the words and laughed, bowing his head to concentrate on his cellphone.

His Ge seemed to have studied until late last night since he still hadn't gotten up yet.

Jing Huan went to browse through his Moments again, and then idly opened the guild group chat that he hadn't looked at in a long time.

Chunxiao: [May you be happy and prosperous, big fortune and great profit]

Chunxiao often sent red envelopes in the guild group chat, and Jing Huan subconsciously clicked on them.

16 yuan, king of luck.

Don't Ask when I'll Return: Holy crap, Xiao Jingjing, haven't seen you in a long time, and you immediately fell into the trap as soon as you came in?

Love is For You to Eat: Hahaha, very tragic.

Chunxiao: Keep going.

Jing Huan had been in a cheerful mood because it was rare for his terrible hands to result in good luck, but after reading their words, he became confused again.

Xiao Tianjing: Ah? What do you mean?

Don't Ask when I'll Return: We're playing red envelope solitaire ah, the king of luck continues to send them.

Xiao Tianjing: …

Don't Ask when I'll Return: Hahaha, it's just for fun. 20 yuan split between 10 people, you getting 16 yuan… is really pretty awesome.

Jing Huan listlessly thought, yes, in the field of bad luck, I'm so awesome.

He skillfully opened the red envelope, and was just about to send some out when a line of text had suddenly appeared on his cellphone screen, reminding him that he had already exceeded this year's transfer limit and could no longer use this function.

Jing Huan: "…"

It just happened to be a breaktime right now, so dozens of guild members were waiting for him. Seeing that there weren't any red envelopes coming out, it was only inevitable that there were a few people urging him to hurry up.

Jing Huan clicked his tongue and was just about to ask Chichi to help him send a few.

Yearning For: [May you be happy and prosperous, big fortune and great profit]

Yearning For: Helping him send some.

Jing Huan was startled and looked up on his screen. There was an unread message notification in the upper left corner of his cellphone screen.

He wasn't interested in the red envelope solitaire but since it was a red envelope sent by Xiang Huaizhi…Then he must touch it!

[Yearning For's envelopes have all been taken, Xiao Tianjing is the king of luck! ]

Peachy Fate: …

Yearning For: …

Love is For You to Eat: …

Xiao Tianjing: QAQ

Xiao Tianjing: Gege help me send it again, I hit my transfer limit.

Yearning For: [May you be happy and prosperous, big fortune and great profit]

Yearning For: Still playing?

Xiao Tianjing: Not playing anymore…

Yearning For: En, then reply to my private chat.

Don't Ask when I'll Return: Hello Hello Hello! Play the game! Don't scatter dog food!!

Jing Huan immediately closed the guild group chat, and the gloom from studying all morning instantly disappeared without a trace.

Xiang: Just woke up.

Xiang: Where are you?

Xiao Jing ya: I've been ravaged by my studies all morning, now I'm in the canteen. [Ge You lying down]

Xiao Jing ya: I'll transfer the money to you with Alipay ba?

Xiang: No need, how's your studying, can you pass the exam?

Xiao Jing ya: Who knows…

Xiao Jing ya: But, there is a way that could maybe improve my chances of passing the exam.

Xiang: What?

Xiao Jing ya: My exam is at nine tomorrow morning. Would you like to have breakfast with me and hold a small pep rally for me?

Jing Huan had originally planned to trick a hug out of him, and of course, the more, the better.

He absolutely didn't expect that on the morning of the exam, Xiang Huaizhi would knock on his door and bring him a youtiao and two eggs .

Jing Huan looked at him and then lowered his head to look at the eggs. "… What's this?"

Xiang Huaizhi raised the breakfast up. "100 points."

Jing Huan: "…"

Fuck, why was it that something so unrefined became cute when it was Xiang Huaizhi doing it?

Because there was still a distance from here to the classroom, after breakfast, they had to rush to the school before they could do anything.

In the end, when they went downstairs in the school building, Jing Huan wore a face full of regret.

No hugging, no touching, nothing.

Forget it, at least he saw him.

"Then, I'm going in." Jing Huan asked, "Are you going back to the dorms?"

"Going to the library."

Jing Huan let out an "oh", and had just wanted to turn around when Xiang Huaizhi suddenly lifted his hand and covered his hair.

The palm of his hand slightly slid down and lightly pinched the tip of Jing Huan's ear.

"Have a good test, little underclassman."

—

Extra chapter released today because of ko-fi goals reached again! Thank you guys so much!

Juurensha: Awwww XHZ bringing breakfast was super cute. And hahahaha, Huanhuan simultaneously so curious yet so shy.

Divi: LMAO Huanhuan's reactions… Should've let XHZ see them…. Huanhuan wants to act spoiled and cute and XHZ is going to let him \o/

And we have a fanart page!

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