Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating

Edited by Divetus

"It's too cold today. Let's go and buy some hot milk tea to keep warm?" Coming out of the library, Lu Wenhao sneezed.

When he didn't get a response, he turned around suspiciously, just in time to see the person behind him step back a bit, cover his mouth with his hand and then whisper something into his cellphone.

Lu Wenhao: "…"

Lu Wenhao asked, "What, are you discussing with Gao Zixiang how to murder your roommate?"

Jing Huan stared at his cellphone and saw the "Typing" at the top, and couldn't stop smiling for a while.

Lu Wenhao saw this and grew nervous. "What are you doing ah?"

Jing Huan glanced at him. "What's the matter with me just smiling a bit?"

"When we were just in the library, you had decided to perish together with the review syllabus. Your mood changed too quickly ba." Lu Wenhao said, "Looking at your mood, people who didn't know better would think you were talking with your girlfriend."

Lu Wenhao had just said this casually, not expecting to hear an answer. He then picked up his cellphone to order some milk tea.

Jing Huan said softly, "No, I haven't caught them yet."

Lu Wenhao stopped and froze in place.

Jing Huan was still watching the repeated "Typing" prompt on his phone when Lu Wenhao rushed over to him and nearly knocked Jing Huan's cellphone out of his hand.

"What do you mean 'haven't caught them yet'? Who are you chasing? Do they go to our school? Which department? Was it the last one who brought you water?" Lu Wenhao stared at him with wide eyes. "Talk! Tell me all the details!"

Why didn't you ask if it was a man or a woman?

Jing Huan tightly gripped the cellphone and clicked the lock screen. "Did you want to kill me by running into me?"

"Talk ah!"

"It's just as I said, chasing. Haven't caught them yet," said Jing Huan. "Goes to our school, one year above us, not telling you anymore."

"?"

Lu Wenhao was shocked. Knowing that he couldn't pry anything else out of Jing Huan's mouth, he murmured, "So handsome Ge also have to pursue people ah?"

Jing Huan said, "Otherwise what?"

"I thought they would just directly pick someone out of all their options."

"Having options isn't a handsome Ge, but a slag man." Jing Huan licked his lower lip.

He never liked talking about his own matters. Before, he wasn't fond of talking about a girl who had confessed to him when someone asked, but for some reason, he really wanted to talk more about it today.

So after a moment's silence, he suddenly said, "And this isn't my first time pursuing someone."

Lu Wenhao's eyes widened to an exaagerated size. "What… When was the last time? Who were you pursuing? Did you catch them?"

"The same person." Jing Huan said.

Lu Wenhao asked, "Ah?"

"It's been the same person for both pursuits."

"…"

When he finished saying that, Jing Huan ignored Lu Wenhao's foolish expression, took out his cellphone and continued to wait for the reply.

Xiao Jing ya: Gege, are you writing a composition for me?

Xiang: … No.

Xiao Jing ya: But you've been typing back and forth for ten minutes.

Xiao Jing ya: Of course, it's not like I'm not letting you type. Any compositions you write to me, I'm willing to read.

These implied meanings were all too familiar.

Xiang Huaizhi had always thought that Xiao Tianjing's character was just a facade, but now it seemed like the only fake parts of her were the voice and the emoticons.

Xiang Huaizhi stifled a laugh and replied methodically.

Xiang: Study hard.

Xiao Jing ya: Studied ne, just came out of the library.

Xiao Jing ya: [Photo]

Jing Huan sent a selfie.

Xiang Huaizhi blankly stared at it for a bit before clicking to enlarge the picture.

The boy had cut his hair, fresh and clean, and was provocatively facing the camera with one corner of his mouth quirked up. Such a hot, hot bad boy.

Looking at the angle of the photo, it seemed like someone next to him had helped him take it.

Xiao Jing ya: I haven't seen you in a few days. I'm afraid that you'll forget what your suitor looks like.

The implication of his words nearly spilled out from the screen.

Xiang: Who are you with?

Xiao Jing ya: Lu Wenhao.

Xiang: En.

"En"?

Just an "en"??

Jing Huan was puzzled and turned to ask, "Are you sure that this picture looks good?"

Lu Wenhao replied, "It looks good. It's so good that I want to become bent for you."

Jing Huan immediately raised his hand and refused. "That's not necessary."

Lu Wenhao cried out, "Damn you…"

At this time, his cellphone vibrated.

Xiang: [Photo]

Jing Huan's heart leaped, and he immediately clicked on the photo.

Xiang Huaizhi was looking down, the angle a bit askew. You could see his sexy jaw line and slightly protruding Adam's apple.

Fuck.

His Gege was so handsome.

Jing Huan stared at the photo for a few seconds, but hurriedly closed it because he was afraid it'd be seen by Lu Wenhao.

When he had just minimized the picture, he received a new message.

Xiang: Are you free tomorrow?

-

Jing Huan stood at the back gate, chewing gum for a while. The bubble expanded in the air, and then popped against his lips.

The temperature was very low, and it was expected to snow that night. Jing Huan was wrapped in a coat, his heart beating faster than usual.

The cellphone in his hand kept ringing. Jing Huan knew without looking, that these were all messages from the dorm group chat. He shouldn't have been so talkative yesterday; he had just said two sentences to Lu Wenhao and was pestered by him all night.

How could a grown man gossip like this?

"Waited for a long time?"

Jing Huan's index finger slipped, and he skillfully muted his cellphone and then turned around to say, "Yeah, I've been standing here for ten minutes."

Xiang Huaizhi's forehead was covered by stray strands of hair, its length close to his eyes, and he was wrapped in a black scarf. He was more handsome than those winter clothes male models in magazines.

Before he could speak, Jing Huan added, "Really, if you don't believe me, touch my face. It's icy."

In fact, Xiang Huaizhi wasn't late; Jing Huan had just come a few minutes early.

Jing Huan just wanted to tease him.

He didn't expect Xiang Huaizhi to blankly stare at him for a while, but then actually raise his hand and press the back of his hand to his face.

"En. Then in the future, I'll come out earlier," Xiang Huaizhi said.

Now, it changed to Jing Huan being stunned.

The place that was just touched seemed to be scalding hot, the heat spreading all the way from his cheek to his entire body.

"Aren't you too good?" Jing Huan was silent for a while then suddenly said.

Xiang Huaizhi raised his eyebrows. "Are you labelling me as a nice guy?"

"No." Jing Huan said as he looked up, "It's the kind of nice that makes people want to date you."

The two boys, with red ears, walked from the school into the nearby restaurant side by side.

It was cold, so spicy hot pot and home style restaurants had become the busiest stores. Eating a bowl of hot soup would warm the whole body up.

"What date will you be done with exams?" Xiang Huaizhi asked.

Jing Huan looked down and laughed, reporting the date.

Xiang Huaizhi frowned. "What are you laughing at?"

Jing Huan said, "You're acting like my dad ah. If you're not asking when I'm studying, you're asking when I'm taking an exam."

Xiang Huaizhi couldn't help laughing and had just wanted to say something.

Jing Huan leaned over and whispered, "Daddy."

Xiang Huaizhi: "…"

Once again, Xiang Huaizhi felt the same emotions that he had felt on their wedding day, when Jing Huan had called him "husband".

His Adam's Apple bobbed ever so slightly. "There are people around, don't call me whatever."

Jing Huan said "oh" and then said, "That means I can call you that when there's no one around?"

In an instant, Xiang Huaizhi kind of now had an inclination for this.

The waiter served the dishes and interrupted the conversation.

After the waiter left, Xiang Huaizhi had just wanted to continue the topic when he saw Jing Huan pinching his chopsticks with his gaze directed past him at the restaurant's front door.

"Jing Huan? What a coincidence. Are you here to eat?" A slightly familiar female voice came from behind, "Ah, Senior Xiang is here too…"

Liang Mengjia's tone was a little deliberate. No matter how you listened to it the tone didn't seem like she had just noticed that Xiang Huaizhi was here.

"Such a coincidence." Jing Huan simply replied.

"Good luck on the exam in two days Jing Huan ya." Liang Mengjia stood at their table and said, "Thank you for last time, Senior Xiang. It's only right that I treat you to a meal right now ba, as a thank you."

Jing Huan immediately looked up at the person opposite of him.

Xiang Huaizhi felt that his eyes said, "If you dare to agree, Laozi will flip the table and leave."

He let out a very soft laugh and when Liang Mengjia heard it, she became restless. She reached out a hand and put it on the chair, wanting to sit down.

But when Xiang Huaizhi raised his head, there was no smile left on his face.

"No need, we're discussing something right now. It's inconvenient."

Liang Mengjia left in embarrassment.

Xiang Huaizhi put down his chopsticks. "Didn't let her sit down, so don't get mad."

"How am I mad," said Jing Huan. "I was just thinking about something."

"What were you thinking about?" Xiang Huaizhi asked.

Jing Huan replied, "How to push away love rivals."

Xiang Huaizhi laughed again. He wiped his hands with a hot towel and said slowly, "At the library last time, she asked me to help her move some books."

"A few stacks. Girls truly couldn't move them, so I went to help."

"You have no love rivals."

After dinner, the two of them walked out of the restaurant.

Jing Huan stood in the wind and was a little confused.

Obviously, he was the active party and was supposed to be seducing Xiang Huaizhi. How did it turn into him being teased until he was confused and disoriented?

And thinking about it closely… Xiang Huaizhi hadn't really done anything.

"Go back?" Xiang Huaizhi asked.

Jing Huan originally thought they were just going to have a meal together.

He turned to look at the person next to him, and the words changed at the tip of his tongue. "I'm a little too full, if I go back now I won't be able to sleep."

The corner of Xiang Huaizhi's mouth drew up. "Then, what do you want to do?"

"Why don't we go by the sports field…" Jing Huan looked at him very honestly. "And digest everything in passing?"

Passing by the sports field in the evening was the senior's tip for grasping the key areas of puppy love.

College sports fields were the holy land of dating for young couples.

Every night during freshman year, Jing Huan heard Lu Wenhao's rants with him saying that those school couples weren't humane, that they shamelessly whispered lovestruck nothings to each other in public.

But he'd never had a chance to see it. After all, it was faster to go back to the dormitory using the bypath.

Furthermore, he always thought that Lu Wenhao's words were exaggerated—what could they do right in the public's view after all?!

Until tonight.

Fuck.

Was that couple in front of them kissing???

Wait…

That man's hand doesn't look like it's in a decent location ah?

Everyone around them was talking sweetly to each other, and Jing Huan's eyes widened. All he was thinking about was whether or not to call the police.

The boy's warm hand palmed the back of his head.

"Don't randomly look around."

Xiang Huaizhi's action had a bit of strength in it, and Jing Huan had one leg raised so he suddenly lost his balance, making him fall onto Xiang Huaizhi's body.

The distance between the two of them suddenly narrowed, and a distinct cold fragrance rushed into Jing Huan's nose, speeding his heart rate up.

"These people… they're not afraid of being caught ah?" Jing Huan collected himself and asked in a low voice.

"It's going to be a holiday soon so monitoring isn't very strict right now," Xiang Huaizhi said.

Jing Huan nodded and understood.

After going around half the track, the sports field lights suddenly went out.

The lights were already originally dim, but after the brightest light disappeared, the whole sports field fell into an ambiguous darkness.

Before long, a custodian immediately came out to the sports field to chase people away, but because there was only one custodian, only a few people were driven away after a long time.

Jing Huan walked two steps, tugged at his scarf a bit, and then suddenly asked, "Last time did I… kiss you?"

Xiang Huaizhi's footsteps paused. "En."

"I carefully thought about it for a long time…" Jing Huan stopped walking and grabbed his wrist. "It seemed like I just kissed your chin?"

Xiang Huaizhi looked down at him. He wasn't sure if it was because of the light, but Jing Huan actually thought his eyes were especially gentle.

Jing Huan felt as though his heart was about to leap out of his chest but managed to say, "That can't count as a kiss ba?"

Xiang Huaizhi's voice was low. "Then, what does it count as?"

Jing Huan tentatively said, "Counts as half a kiss?"

Xiang Huaizhi raised his eyebrows and didn't speak.

"Then, I'll let you return the remaining half right now… If it's convenient for you." Jing Huan vowed, "I'll just kiss your chin."

Without lighting, the people who were earnestly doing their exercises left, and instantly, the number of people had become less than half.

On the right side of the platform, the two boys were very close.

Jing Huan looked up and lightly sucked on Xiang Huaizhi's chin. While caressing him, he met Xiang Huaizhi's lower lip.

In the dark corner, they couldn't tell whose heartbeat was whose.

At last, Jing Huan couldn't bear it, and he slyly moved up a bit.

At the same time, Xiang Huaizhi suddenly dropped his head, instantly pressing their lips together.

Jing Huan's head was bumped against the cold stone wall. He was momentarily stunned before he raised his hand, as if afraid the other person would run away, and hooked it around Xiang Huaizhi's neck.

—

Juurensha: Huhuhu Huanhuan, who's the shameless one now?

Divi: Aren't you afraid of getting caught Huanhuan? Hahahaha, their puppy love is flourishing!

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