Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating

Edited by Divetus

Seeing that he wasn't talking, Xiang Huaizhi thought that he might have misunderstood him.

"I don't mean that you can't like other people."

Jing Huan cursed out Yearning For 1000 times in his heart and then typed.

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: How can I like other people besides Gege ah T.T

If he turned on his microphone, he was afraid he was going to explode at him.

Xiang Huaizhi believed that he had expressed himself clearly.

He nodded. "For now, when I'm not on, you try not to leave the safe zone."

With Wheat's Number One Fan's temper, it was obvious that he wasn't a lord who could swallow down his anger and keep quiet after being killed. Who knows what trouble he might try to cause.

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: It's okay, I'm not afraid of him at all. >.<

Jing Huan really wasn't afraid. Wheat's Number One Fan's equipment was really good, but his technique was terrible, a standard RMB player.

He believed that the reason why NCH had lasted so long was that poor players with good technique could still fight and win against RMB players.

Of course, having no money at all still wouldn't work.

"You really aren't afraid," Xiang Huaizhi said, looking at the little fox fairy beside him. "When did you buy all your equipment on you?"

The little fox fairy no longer had only one shining ring.

She carried a purple whip in her hand, the gourd on her waist shone with a white light, and even her belt was purple.

Jing Huan was stunned and then remembered that he had bought everything on him in a fit of anger.

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: I…

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: I was too angry back then! QAQ

"Where did the money come from?"

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: Living expenses ah…

"Living expenses were enough to buy all this?"

No?

What kind of strange conversation was this?

Jing Huan felt like his accounts were being checked over by his wife.

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: Yes, it's overdrawn la! This month, I can only eat baozi!

"…" Xiang Huaizhi choked.

He didn't expect that there were really people who didn't even eat for the sake of games.

"Why are you only typing and not speaking?" Xiang Huaizhi picked up his cellphone. "I'll lend you a little. How much do you need?"

Jing Huan was stunned. "Ah? No need, no need! I have money on my meal card, and I'm already trying to lose weight…"

"You're not fat, you don't need to lose weight."

There was a silence over the headphones.

Jing Huan asked, "How do you know I'm not fat?"

Xiang Huaizhi was silent for two seconds before saying in a natural tone, "Guessed."

Flattery!

"You really don't have to la, Gege. The meat buns in our school are really delicious. They have thin skin and a lot of meat, and they're only five yuan each!" Jing Huan paused. "Besides, we're not in that kind of relationship. How can I spend Gege's money? Gege, if you really cherish me, it's better to realize my other dream. Let's go to Old Moon Temple… "

"I see." Xiang Huaizhi put down his cellphone, "Then you can eat at the cafeteria."

"…"

Jing Huan wanted to make a few comments when his friend alerts suddenly lit up.

[Unknown Realm Shopkeeper: Congratulations, young hero! Qiufeng has gifted you a set of "Lantern elf clothes". Please go to Unknown Realm (118, 29) to collect your new clothes! ]

Jing Huan was stunned and reflexively sent a "?" to Qiufeng.

[Friend] Qiufeng: Comforting gift. [pats head]

Jing Huan didn't reply to him, but turned on his microphone and asked, "Gege, can we make a trip to the Unknown Realms?"

"Why."

"Qiufeng has sent me some new apparel. I want to return it."

The NCH gifting system had a perverse rule. If the gift was left for more than half an hour with the Unknown Realm shopkeeper, a handling fee would be charged, which was called a "safekeeping fee".

Although the amount was small, Jing Huan was not willing to spend the money.

Yearning For didn't say anything else and took him away from the Valley of Falling Flowers.

When they arrived by the Unknown Realm shopkeeper, Jing Huan left the team and quickly returned the apparel.

[Friend] Qiufeng: It's only a set of clothes, but you still won't accept it ah.

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: Understand your gesture la, no need to spend any money. 0.0

Just a few seconds after sending that out, his friend icon lit up again. Jing Huan thought it was Qiufeng's reply. He clicked to have a look, but it was the pink message box that the system had.

[Unknown Realm Shopkeeper: Congratulations, young hero! Yearning For has gifted you a set of "Lantern elf clothes". Please go to Unknown Realm (118, 29) to collect your new clothes! ]

???

Are these two gifting addicts?

[Friend] Yearning For: Keep it.

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: I can't always accept things from you that are so expensive…

[Friend] Yearning For: ?

[Friend] Yearning For: If you return it to me, I'll just give it to Long Road Ahead.

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: Thank you, Gege. Gege, do you think I look good wearing this?

Jing Huan changed his clothes.

He originally hadn’t wanted to defraud Yearning For of this 1200 yuan, but this slag man had to keep bringing it up, so no one could blame him for just taking it.

[Friend] Yearning For: En. Have you done your dailies today?

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: …If you hadn't said it, I would've completely forgotten. QAQ

[Friend] Yearning For: Join the team, I'll take you to do it.

Jing Huan was so happy to be so leisurely, and he sped into his team.

After half an hour's work, Jing Huan opened the take-out menu and was planning what to do next when his little sister managed to find him.

[Friend] Love is For You to Eat: Stupid Jingjing [angry]! What's the matter ah? Why did you even quit the guild? And you don't even reply to me on WeChat!

Jing Huan was stunned. He opened WeChat and glanced at it. He really had received a lot of news.

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: My WeChat is blowing up, I couldn't send anything QAQ! I was afraid of involving the guild in my fight with Wheat's Number One Fan, so I quit.

[Friend] Love is For You to Eat: No, Wheat's Number One Fan already had some conflict with our guild anyway.

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: 0.0 Oooh what conflict?

[Friend] Love is For You to Eat: Can we use WeChat call? I'm eating, and it's hard to type.

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: Okay.

Jing Huan turned off the game microphone and set up a WeChat call with Love is For You to Eat.

"He had previously killed a didi of Idle Pavilion and drove them away from the game, and also quarreled with Chunxiao. Anyway, it was very unpleasant. But you weren't playing when all that happened, so it's normal that you don't know. And many people in the guild don't like him." Love is For You to Eat said, "In the afternoon, everyone was discussing how to help you vent."

Jing Huan was stupefied. "Help me vent?"

Love is For You to Eat responded, "Yeah, Guild Officer Qiufeng even privately went down to find Wheat's Number One Fan, and even God Xiang got involved."

Jing Huan kind of regretted that he had left the guild so quickly. "Ah… What did Gege say? "

"I'll take a screenshot and send it to you via WeChat."

Jing Huan immediately held up his cellphone and looked at the picture.

[Don't Ask when I'll Return: No way, did she really quit? No need ah…

Youth Chasing the Wind: Really there's no need, it's not like we're afraid of trouble.

Peachy Fate: Then is Xiao Tianjing going to return to the guild?

Chunxiao: I'm on holiday with Regardless of Lovesickness. Wait until we come back tomorrow to deal with this.

Qiufeng: This Wheat's Number One Fan, last time we already gave him a pass, yet this time he actually messed with one of our guild members. Don't worry, I'll definitely go talk to him for Xiao Tianjing.

Don't Ask when I'll Return: Good, Guild Officer is mighty!

Yearning For: @Qiufeng, she's my teammate, I'll deal with it by myself, no need for you to bother. ]

Jing Huan repeatedly read what Yearning For had said. After a while, he asked, "What else did Gege say?"

"That's it, just that sentence," Love is For You to Eat clicked her tongue, "God Xiang is really cool when he talks now, it's totally different from before."

"Before?"

"Yeah, when Immortal Mengmeng was with him…" Love is For You to Eat halted in the middle of her sentence.

Jing Huan only then remembered that Love is For You to Eat and Immortal Mengmeng used to be good friends.

He unconsciously straightened his back and asked curiously, "What was it like when Gege and Immortal Mengmeng were together?"

Love is For You to Eat hemmed and hawed. "…You know, like that."

"Tell meee." Jing Huan said, "I promise not to talk about it!"

"Like ordinary people dating, it wasn't a big deal." Love is For You to Eat thought about it. "It's just, ten hours straight per day on the microphone ba."

?

Is there that much to talk about?

Jing Huan let out some chuckling sounds without any feelings. "How do you even know about this?"

"Mengmeng often liked to show off their affection, so a lot of people all know about it," Love is For You to Eat said, "Their WeChat profile picture was a couple photo. Yearning For seemed to always be sending her photos to his friend group. She even sent me a screenshot of the friend group… But God Xiang seems to have changed his WeChat profile picture now? "

Jing Huan thought of his own rejected friend request, and his smile grew even stiffer.

Yearning For's friend group was also completely clean, and it was obvious that it had been completely cleared out when they had broken up.

"Couple photo profile picture…" He murmured.

Thinking of all the dog food she had been forced to eat before, Love is For You to Eat couldn't stop talking, "Yeah, God Xiang even used to call Immortal Mengmeng baby, wife…You really can't tell now, can you? "

Jing Huan: "…"

What did Yearning For usually call him?

He couldn't think of anything but "Xiao Tianjing".

No way… Yearning For actually spent a whole ten hours on the microphone, changed his profile picture to a couple photo, and could actually call someone "baby"?

Jing Huan couldn't connect any of this behavior to the person currently leading him around right now.

And plus, based on what?

Based on what would you change your profile picture and friend group for someone else, but when it came to him, you couldn't even say a few soft words?!

Jing Huan suddenly felt unhappy.

Very unhappy.

The kind of unhappiness where you don't even want to eat dinner.

Love is For You to Eat only now figured out that she may have said too much. "But… God Xiang is very good to you. You see, he even helped you kill people. "

"Did he help Immortal Mengmeng kill people before?"

Hearing the other side's listless tone, Love is For You to Eat immediately answered, "No! When they were together, they didn't even play together in the arena very often. "

"Not fighting in the arena?" Jing Huan wondered, "Then, what did they usually do?"

"Just, did some instances, go look at some scenery, take some photos ah…" Love is For You to Eat coughed, "That sort of thing."

"…"

Damn it! This man actually could do all of that! Why act so lofty and cold in front of him day after day?!

After hanging up the call, Jing Huan sat in his chair and didn't even want to order take-out.

The more Jing Huan thought about it, the angrier he grew!

Yearning For really treated people way too differently!

[Team] Yearning For: Are you there.

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: …I'm here.

[Team] Yearning For: How come you turned off your microphone.

Because daddy doesn't want to talk to you, you two-faced dog.

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: No, I was just calling Love is For You to Eat.

Xiang Huaizhi paused while taking a drink of water.

[Team] Yearning For: You two have a good relationship?

[Team] Xiao Tianjing: Of course la, we're teammates after all.

[Team] Yearning For: .

This was different from Qiufeng, Love is For You to Eat was a girl. If the person Jing Huan liked switched to her…It was pretty good too.

Xiang Huaizhi considered it expressionlessly.

After dailies were done, the two of them stood beside the NPC in the main city, and no one spoke.

For a long time, Xiang Huaizhi came out of his thoughts and was just about to type.

"Gege." His teammate called out to him pitifully.

"En?"

"You promised me that anything that happens in the game, I could come and find you," Jing Huan said, "Right?"

"En."

"Then, can you accompany me to take some pictures?"

Xiang Huaizhi was a little startled. "Pictures?"

"En," Jing Huan said unabashedly, "Pictures with us in a kissing position!"

Xiang Huaizhi: "…"

Xiang Huaizhi asked, "What do you want to do with those?"

Jing Huan also didn't know what he would do with them.

But he still wanted to take them.

"I just want to take them." Jing Huan said, "Is that okay, Gege."

Ten minutes later, they arrived at the Moon Palace in front of a full moon.

[Xiao Tianjing wants to kiss you. Yes, No. ]

Xiang Huaizhi's mouse drifted repeated between the two options, hesitant.

At last, he clicked Yes.

The little fox fairy leaned her head forward, fox tail swaying to and fro, and gently kissed the corner of his mouth.

Flowers bloomed in front of them, and the moon hung behind them, creating a beautiful scene; there were even a few jade rabbits randomly gamboling around at their feet.

He stared at the picture for a few seconds and unconsciously pressed the screen capture key.

"Gege." In his earphones, the female voice called out to him discontentedly, "Can you call me…well… baby?"

At the end of this sentence, his voice grew smaller and smaller.

"…"

Xiang Huaizhi choked. It seemed like something was blocking up his throat, and after awhile he managed to squeeze out a question. "What?"

"Just call me that in game!" Jing Huan forcefully pretended to be straightforward, "This, this also counts as something that happens in game…"

Xiang Huaizhi replied, "Not possible."

"Why not…" Jing Huan was not convinced, "Gege's words don't mean a thing!"

Xiang Huaizhi chuckled. "Who would put forward this kind of request?"

"I would!" Jing Huan said, "Call me that Gege, it's not like you'll lose a pound of flesh from it."

"No way."

"Once! Just once!" Jing Huan said, "Just once would be good!"

"…"

Jing Huan turned on a recording device and tried to figure out what to say to make Yearning For agree.

He planned to record him saying "baby" and then send it to Yearning For's inbox every day after revealing the truth!

Seeing Yearning For's silence, Jing Huan whispered, "Gege, I……"

"…Baby. "

This sound suddenly fell into his ear, and Jing Huan was stunned.

The boy spoke very fast, but very clearly. His voice was low and hoarse, which was already pleasant to listen to, but then his tone was both helpless and indulgent… No one couldn't be moved after hearing it.

Jing Huan even was trapped in an illusion for a few seconds—as if they were really dating online, he really liked Yearning For, and he was really pursuing him.

It took a long time for Jing Huan to recover from hearing the word baby.

His cheeks were slightly hot, and his throat was dry. He grabbed a glass of water and took a swig.

Don't tell me, this slag man…actually had a few skills.

After digesting this for a long time, Jing Huan suddenly came back to his senses—he didn't, turn, on, the, recording, device!!

"Gege, I… I didn't hear it just now." Jing Huan said quickly, "Say it again."

Xiang Huaizhi retorted, "If you didn't hear me, how do you know I already said it?"

…Now you're suddenly very clever ah.

Jing Huan cried, "Wuwuwu do it again, one last time!"

"No way." The other side refused.

"Gege…"

"Don't be coy… It's no use. " Xiang Huaizhi said hoarsely, "I'm going to go afk, there's someone trying to find me on WeChat."

After saying this, Xiang Huaizhi stood up and poured himself a cup of water.

Just having filled his cup, the bedroom door suddenly opened.

"I'm so tired. I shouldn't have chosen classes with you, every five days I'm worked like a dog." Lu Hang walked in with a face full of fatigue. "You even left early today. Do you know how bored I was sitting alone? When you left, it was like a gust of wind, I thought your account had gotten stolen again… "

Lu Hang was full of words but stopped after seeing his roommate's face.

"You…" Lu Hang frowned and leaned forward. "Why is your face so red?"

Xiang Huaizhi pushed past his face and expressionlessly spat out. "Hot."

—

Juurensha: Awwww they're both so embarrassed over XHZ calling him baby! Also Huanhuan…you don't realize your jealousy at all, huh?

Divi: I'm feeling the embarrassment from both sides. Ahhh, can you imagine how it'd be if XHZ said it in person?

And boy do we have a ton of fanart for you today.

Fanart by our editor Divetus of the moment XHZ calls Huanhuan baby!

And by Ari!

By con, of the scene where: "You are my No. 1, you are—" Jing Huan drawled, and he struck a heavy blow against Xiang Huaizhi. "You're Yearning For… you're Gege."

By sylviangatimo based on chuna's character design of XTJ:

And by Octa: