Everybody is Kung Fu Fighting, While I Started a Farm

Panda Novel

After eating the smoked meat, Jiang He brought out the maid doll from his sports car.

“Hmm…”

“This doll looks very familiar, but I just can’t put my finger on her name… was it ‘So’ or was it ‘Ra’?”

“Sora?”

Since it was a paper doll, it was a little flattened in the tummy after it was kept in the car for two days. As such, Jiang He fiddled around with her tummy to get her back in shape, and when he turned around, Dumbo had already dug a hole.

Just as he thought, Dumbo had the best insight.

After carefully putting the maid doll inside the hole, Jiang He exchanged a composite fertilizer and threw it within as well.

Then, he closed the hole and watered it.

With that done, Jiang He ordered Dumbo to dig a few more holes, and planted the remaining nine-and-a-half chains of metal matrix composite armor-piercing (AP) bullets.

When he turned around to look, he saw that there were two fresh buds on the spot where he planted the maid.

Jiang He: “…”

Damn it!

More buds?

The maid would not grow on a tree, would she?

Fortunately, the buds did not grow into a tree as he imagined. Instead, they grew into two enormous leaves, and bore the fruit that was a small human in its middle.

At first, the ‘small human’ was merely thumb-sized, but it appeared more vivid than the joss paper, and its body portions were basically perfect.

She was also growing at a visible rate, and was around five inches tall within minutes.

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Beside the maid, the bullet chains were sprouting too.

Chen Jingzhou had provided Jiang He with a hundred thousand of those newly developed AP bullets, with every ten thousand tied to one chain. Dumbo and Trumbo had almost used up one chain during their gun drills, and after Dumbo fired a wild barrage when Kun of the Left came charging, the chain was emptied, which left Jiang He with nine bullet chains.

Jiang He had planted the nine chains in separate holes, and now that nine shoots were growing out, the sight of their thriving was delightful.

As a farmer, what pleased Jiang He the most was to see the crops he planted with his own hands taking root, budding and getting ripe for the harvest. While that process was always quicker for him and he would grow many weird things, but was there any rule that farming was limited to wheat and maize?

Cheerful, Jiang He then went to where he planted the mansion model, and only noticed then the fresh buds had grown into a small shoot that stood three-feet tall.

Moreover, the shoot had already stopped growing, and was ripe for the picking.

“What the heck?”

“Where’s my mansion?

Jiang He was dumbfounded. Why are you ripe when you have not blossomed or borne fruit?

Furthermore, the three-feet-tall shoot was not thriving. It only had nine leaves, but all of them had curled into a round cylinder resembling a caterpillar, not to mention that the leaves looked malnourished upon first glance.

Most importantly, where was the mansion?

Nonetheless, Jiang He found himself staring at one of the leaves for a long time when a spark of inspiration flashed in his mind.

“Is that a caterpillar?”

“No, it’s a leaf that curled into itself. Instead… it looks like a capsule!”

Jiang He’s eyes brightened then.

That’s right!

Capsule!

After all, who had not taken medicine from a capsule!

What was more, when the two words ‘capsule’ and ‘mansion’ connected, Jiang He immediately remembered a certain anime which boasted advanced technology, where things like capsule mansion, capsule airplanes and capsule cars were very common.

Jiang He tentatively plucked off one of the capsule-shaped leaf—

[Ding!]

[+100 Farm Points]

The crisp melody of a System Notification rang in his ear, stirring Jiang He’s mind.

Since the System had notified them that it was a successful harvest and rewarded him with Farm Points, his theory of a capsule mansion was naturally correct.

[Ding!]

[+100 Farm Points]

[Ding…]

System Notifications jingled repetitively as Jiang He plucked off the remaining eight capsule-shaped leaves, after of which the small shoot rapidly withered into a pile of ashes.

Holding one of the capsules between his thumb and index finger to study it, Jiang He then saw lines of data appear before his eyes.

[Capsule Mansion]

[Attribute: Mobile and convenient.]

[Usage: Throw on ground.]

After that, Jiang He left the yard.

He had slapped the mansion built beforehand into mere debris with a single palm, and its foundation was flattened with a single slash of his sword.

Hence, he threw the capsule on the ground.

Bang!

A cloud of smoke shrouded his vision as if a smoke grenade blew up.

The smoke soon dissipated, and a three-floored mansion that was identical to the one he had planted before appeared before his eyes. Even though he had expected that outcome, Jiang He was still a little surprised.

That was really illogical!

Were capsule mansions that awesome?

He opened the door and entered.

On the first floor were a wide living room, a dining room, and a kitchen. There were also two bedrooms with toilets, and a dojo around fifty meters square wide.

The furnishing of the mansion was luxurious but unpretentious, and there were also many green potted plants.

Jiang He tested the toilet first…

It flushed smoothly.

That was weird… how would the capsule mansion deal with drainage? Still, when he thought that he could plant something as unreasonable as the capsule mansion in the first place, would it not make sense for more unreasonable things to happen?

Either way, he neither scrutinized nor pondered about it.

Jiang He then walked around the second floor.

The bedrooms were nice, especially the three bedrooms that faced the sun and had balconies, each of which had jade-white parapets.

The third floor was much simpler. Aside from a large AV room, there was an indoor swimming pool that was dozens of meters wide with crystal clear water. While it was quite small swimming in it and would never compare to swimming in rivers or seas, would it not be nice to have a soak when he was idling?

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“Not bad, not bad.”

Jiang He was quite satisfied, and even lay down on one of the huge beds in his bed room.

So soft.

So cozy.

He noticed a remote placed on the bed cabinet, and when he took it, he saw a button with the word ‘vibrate’. But once he tapped the button gently, the bed beneath him shook wildly as if it was having a stroke.

“…”

At a loss for words, Jiang he quickly turned the switch off and breathed a long sigh. “Isn’t this design a bit ridiculous? Aren’t beds for sleep? Why bother putting in this function?”

With that, he left the mansion and returned to his yard.

The nine bullet chain trees were now thriving. Everything from their branches and leaves were all golden, especially with the bullet chains dangling over the tips of the branches, and were rather blinding as they reflected sunlight.

And beside the nine bullet trees was…

The maid, who was now ‘ripe’ for the picking.