The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

Translator: StarveCleric  Editor: StarveCleric

On the muddy sand field, a lonesome figure is running about.

Despite it being a running track made of cinders, the figure runs barefooted on it, enduring the pain of objects digging into the flesh while carrying a heavy armor weighing beyond a hundred kilograms on the back. This is no longer a type of training but a kind of punishment.

Water has been sprinkled on the cinder road. The ashes may no longer rise up from the running about, but instead, it turns into a mud filled with ill-will. The smooth foot from before is now full of wounds.

Every few hundred meters of running, the slim figure would fall down once. Even when the body is full of wounds and mud, the young lady will struggle up and head forward once again, then…

Fall down once again…

Fresh blood was flowing from both her feet, forming a bright red line on the cinder path.

To the young lady, the physical pain she was suffering was nothing. What that truly hurts was the piercing glare from

All the passerby couldn’t bear such a sight but no one walked forward to stop her.

This is because it is Sulfur City’s Supreme Court. In the eyes of the population, it is the most sacred and impartial location. If someone is being punished here, they must have committed a crime deserving of it.

On the running track, two judges dressed in a court robe and silver-mask were discussing softly.

“Isn’t that Diana, the Captain of Town Security? Why is she running laps here with her legs bare and even carrying that heavy armor? It is like she is being punished.”

“Didn’t Lord Wumianzhe pass an order for the running track to be watered? Looks like it was prepared for her.”

“What did she do?”

“Didn’t the Town Security army overstep their authority a few days ago? They started a round-up exercise without proper authorization and Lord Wumianzhe seems to have caught on to it.”

“Acting without authorization? Isn’t that an extremely heavy crime? Even at the least, it would warrant exile… Oh, I get it!”

“Yeah, to sentence them all to exile seems too heavy, but going without punishment is impossible. Thus, when they came to submit the report these few days, Lord Wumianzhe refused to see her. Today, he was willing to meet her though, but he only casually said that he wanted to see the Town Security army doing freestyle running with heavy load, and this lady consciously went to carry it out.”

“…Going by standard procedure, if we leave it to the court to judge, they conducted violent acts without authorization, that warrants an exile at the minimum but this is obviously over the top. But if they go without punishment, then there would be someone who would follow in their footsteps and it would be hard to find a reason to punish them then.”

“Yeah, the best way of handling it is probably like that. First, give them the cold shoulders for a few days to let them know how grave the matter is. Then, make them ‘consciously’ get punished to warn the others. The law is dead, but we humans are alive. This way, not only did he manage to protect the dignity of the judiciary, he also manages to deal out a suitable punishment to those who did wrong. The balance struck between the two is worth studying. Lord Wumianzhe is really impressive.”

TL: The law is dead, but we humans are alive -> Means the law is inflexible, but as humans, we should be flexible.

“…I think we better get back to work. I feel like Lord Wumianzhe is currently at the top of the tower looking towards here. If we leave an impression that we aren’t serious in our work, then we might get in trouble.”

The two of them leave hurriedly. It is already the time for work to start and as judges, they have their own cases to work on.

Dark Elves have very sensitive ears and the discussion between the two judges didn’t escape Diana’s ears. Thus, grinding her teeth, she stands up once again and shakily carried the hundred-kilogram armor to continue on with her punishment.

Not too far away at the top of a tower where Wumianzhe’s office is, the heartless Supreme Judge is carrying some binoculars to look at the running track. It is different from what the judges’ guessed, he wasn’t overlooking the punishment but looking at scenery with the mindset of appreciating the view.

“As expected, the wet shirt showcases the entire figure of the beautiful lady. The mud, in contrast, made the exercising copper body to look more well-proportioned. Next time, I will ignore the opposition of those fellows! I will make mud wrestling of beautiful ladies a program of the Sports Day!!”

Putting down the binoculars, I seriously thought about the possibility of this being approved in the council.

What, punishment? Dignity of the judiciary? Are these toys important?

“Those stubborn old fools in the council may not approve of it, but I will!!” (Adam)

Appreciating the sight along with me is a middle-aged man who is smiling obscenely. He is blessed with good looks but he radiates a kind of tiredness from his soul.

Red light armor, fiery vermilion great sword, crimson hair reminiscent of the burning flames, his entire figure is like an inferno burning wildly. Despite being in the peaceful city, he was equipped in his battle armor as usual and the broken silver sword on his waist may be the only other color on his body.

“The Phoenix of the East”, “The Deathless Man”, he has a bunch of nicknames along those lines but the one most people are familiar with is his identity as the Red Lotus Sword Saint Hero.

130 years ago, he brought his team of adventurers to assault Lord Yongye’s undead army and managed to decapitate the Undead Emperor Lord Yongye, causing the entire undead army to fall apart. It is as though the classic fairy tale where the hero kills the demon king and saves the world.

After that, he refused the gifts and recruitment from other countries and inconceivably, came to the abandoned underground world and built this unique city.

As the unique name of Sulfur Mountain City once again spreads to the surface, the reputation of this hero soars once again.

“The Living Epic”, “The Perfect Hero”, this is how the humans on the surface call their hero now.

But at this current moment, facing the wet top and seemingly visible sexy curves, on that honest square face is a face of lewdness that all men know.

“Why don’t we just conduct a mud marathon and call the Town Security Dark Elves and the bunch of Priestesses in the church to join. The only attire allowed is underwear. Haha, we would make a fortune just by selling the entrance tickets.” (Roland)

The Red Lotus Sword Saint Adam.Han is my direct superior, Sulfur Mountain’s City Lord. His greatest pleasure nowadays is creating trouble for his subordinates and the Public Council. My suggestion will definitely cause those old geezers to jump in rage, so there is no reason why he wouldn’t like it.

Don’t just look at how improper he seems. In my system, this fellow is actually a LV262 SemiGod-rank existence. If placed on the surface, he would at the very least rival the king of a country.

“Hey, you old virgin, you have gotten stronger.” (Roland)

When I saw him last week, he was only LV260. At such a level, even progressing a single step is difficult. But he actually gained two levels in a week, this is really unbelievable.

“Yeah, old virgin, your eyes are still as sharp as ever. For a thing like the Fire Phoenix, the older he is, the stronger he gets. The me in my current state, my heart of the Phoenix is currently burning at its limits. I should be able to beat the you at your peak period now.” (Adam)

“Hehe, even if you are invincible now, aren’t you still an old chuuni virgin.” (Roland)

“Yeah, just like the bones you are, an old virgin.” (Adam)

The two old fellows who have been single for a few hundred years now, after doing their daily routine of pouring salt on each other’s wounds, both sighed together.

“When will my single life come to an end, I really want to get a girlfriend…”

“I am already numb to my lefty and righty. If it weren’t for you messing up the situation, I would have already got a woman by now and maybe, even a son or grandson.”

“Are you showing off? Do you think having a meat body is worth showing off? My lefty and righty are only bones now!”

“Showing off? Show off your head. Your rumors, saying that I am destined to a lonely star, caused all the beautiful ladies in the city to avoid me! Just last week, I ‘accidentally’ bumped into a hot chick and it should be a wonderful encounter. But, she ran to the Holy Light Church to dispel the curse. To think of it as being a curse… Do you know what I was feeling then!”

“Of course, I know, that is why I told that desert beauty that you were born under a lonely star!”

“I knew it! Why would an outsider know about these rumors otherwise, it was indeed you, bastard!!”

Alright, after that exchange, the Perfect Human Hero Adam and Sulfur Mountain City’s most dignified Supreme Judge Wumianzhe starts fighting together like kids.

But as usual, this meaningless fight came to an end very quickly.

This SemiGod warrior might be able to beat this trash whose fighting prowess is not even a 5, but I don’t even feel pain so why would I be afraid of him. Different variety of virgin sarcasm come rising up from my mouth.

“Serves you right for being single your whole life.”

“Legend has it that being a virgin for 30 years make you a great wizard, you are already reaching 200 soon. It can’t be that you are already a great archsage. Come, let me see you shoot a fireball.”

“Why don’t I use magic to transform your lefty and righty into cute girls? I assure you they will be extremely cute. Oh oh oh, you wavered, you are actually wavering! Don’t be foolish, if magic can accomplish such a thing, why would I still be single now?”

Of course, while I was hurting him with my words, my heart was also bleeding.

“I am already 376 years old, but still single… I want to be resurrected!!”

Until we remembered that there were still matters to be dealt with today, it was already evening. As expected, just like how a certain philosopher said, hurting each other would only leave a vacuum in its wake.

“Hey, you didn’t call me here today just to fight, did you?”

“Of course not, Margaret called me to come here for an official task, what is it? Let me think!”

“Indeed, you are going senile already.”

“Stop being so noisy! I got it on the tip of my tongue! Oh oh, right, there are two matters today. No, actually it is only one.”

“Hm?”

“I am about to die, you know that right.”

Despite talking about his own death, that blockhead was saying it lightly as though like he was talking about where to go to play tomorrow.

“Of course, in a minimum of a year and a maximum of 3 years, you are going to die.”

Of course, I would know. In the system notice of his personal data, there is a red box beside his name (Lifespan coming to an end), his death isn’t too far away.

“157 years, I have already lived long enough and there aren’t any regrets as well.”

Really? No regrets? I guess he isn’t wrong too. On the continent of Eich, a normal human’s lifespan is about 60 – 80 years and this fellow managed to last to near 200 solely on his frightening fighting prowess, so he could be considered to have a long lifespan.

“Actually, there is no difficulty in expanding your life span.’

Of course, there isn’t any difficulty to it. With his powerful fighting prowess, as long as he was willing to believe in Gods and get an identity as a worshipper, he could achieve longevity. Otherwise, if he doesn’t want to work for other people, he could convert to some race with long lifespan, such as Angels, Demons, Undead and such. For him, it wasn’t a particularly difficult task.

But Adam simply laughs, laughs lightly, laughs as though there is no regrets left. Despite being young, he acts just like a senior who have seen through the world.

“No, 150 years for a human with a short lifespan is way too long, I have already lived enough. A useless village youngster has already completed his dream as a hero and those he is acquainted with are already mostly dead. There is nothing left that I want to do, so it is about time to rest. Also, having an elderly hogging on to the top position looks ugly too, it is about time for newcomers to take the top spot.

“… You still miss Lisa.” His words couldn’t fool me.

Lisa.Grant, Adam’s previous companion and his crush. However, hundred years ago, she died in a battle against Lord Yongye.

With this fellow’s abilities, if he really wants to get a girlfriend, there is no reason why he wouldn’t be able to find it. Furthermore, for his two attempts at marriage, if he was determined to persevere to the very end, with his fighting ability, there is no reason why he would simply watch as we crashed his wedding.

“Hey, you really are a love saint. But, this is too selfish.” (Roland)

“Yes, I am really selfish.” He actually lowers his head and admits to it. “I am apologetic to Margaret. As an immortal, she is still young, she should choose a better partner.” (Adam)

The Great Saint Margaret has a crush on Adam, but Adam can’t let go of his dead ex-girlfriend. This has already become an open secret among Sulfur Mountain City’s top brass.

As for the two attempts at marriage, he is probably intending to convince Margaret to give him up. Of course, the fact that Margaret unhesitatingly contacted me to deliver Adam her wedding present shows that she was unwilling to give up.

Things like rumors can spread around easily, and at the same time, it can be stopped easily. The reason why it became a secret which everyone knows of is probably because the city lord Adam simply watched upon its development.

“What a foolish triangle relationship. Alright, as an outsider, I won’t pry into your affairs but since you already decided to die, then the other matter, I roughly know what you are going to talk about.”

“Of course, since the jailer is about to die, then as the prisoner, it is about time we wrap up your sentence and prepare for your release. Congratulations to you, Lord Yongye, how do you feel about regaining your freedom?”

Yes, this Sulfur Mountain City is actually a prison. Hero Adam, Great Saint Margaret and the Ancient Red Dragon Little Red, these three heads are the jailers.

And I, previously known as Undead Emperor Lord Yongye, am the only prisoner of this jail!

“Then, Hero Adam, are you certain you want to let me out to destroy the world?”

“Anything that pleases you. A world without Lisa, if you want to destroy it, go ahead.”

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