The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

Translator: StarveCleric  Editor: StarveCleric

What are the Undead? I’m afraid, in the eyes of most of the living, the first thought would be endless death.

In truth, there’s nothing wrong with that kind of saying. In the battlefield between the Order Gods and Malevolent Chaos Gods, the Demon Lords created a spell that rises the dead. From that day onward, the Undead Calamity became the nightmare of the living.

But in truth, this cannot be blamed solely on the Undead themselves.

In this great continent, there are 2 reasons for the rise of the dead. The first is when someone dies with great injustice, regret or dreams and they are unwilling to disappear just like that. Then, there is an extremely small chance for them to come to life again.

This kind of natural-born Undead have an extremely low probability of occurring but they are often very powerful. After all, to defy the calling of death requires extraordinary willpower and resentment. It is said that the God of Death Ayer is the oldest natural-born Undead.

Undead who are born from such great resentment would tend to be twisted. However, relying solely on their will to defy death to linger in the mortal world, they are often able to retain their self-awareness.

Of course, among them, the strongest and noblest are the incarnation of the will of heroes after dying. They will be accepted by the Order Gods and granted a new immortal spiritual body along with a beautiful name – Heroic Spirits.

Other than the natural-born Undead, the other type of Undead would be the frequently seen Undead Calamity, the ones who were enslaved by the evil Necromancers to create even more deaths.

The magic for the summoning of the dead originated from the Demons. To date, there are many different kinds of variations and developments of the spell.

At the very start, there were only corpses with low mobility. Afterwards, there are the swift Skeleton Warriors, Abominations made of flesh and blood stitched together, Skeleton Mages who are capable of wielding dark magic, Black Knights who are skilled in martial arts and finally, the strongest necromancer — Lich.

Following the development of Necromancy, the number of Undead tribes in present times are innumerable and those who are individually stronger than Liches don’t just number a few. But, Liches, natural-born masters of Necromancy, are still the core of the entire tribe for no other reasons. Only the cunning Liches hold the key to the evolution of the Undead and what they specialize in is the research and creation of new Undead and Necromancy magic.

99.9% of the existing Undead are that kind of man-made Undead and only upon reaching silver-rank can they start to develop self-awareness. Even the strongest Undead heroes, upon waking up through Necromancy, are only monsters who recognizes no kin. Their thirst for blood and souls would make them attack the ones they love and once they savor the taste of killing and delicious souls, it is hard for them to turn back anymore.

The bloodthirsty Undead Calamity, such a saying isn’t wrong at all.

The Demons of the Chaos faction have a temperament to destroy themselves. They managed to coax the ancient Mountainous Clans to fall to depravity. But then, they created their own mortal enemy, the Devils. They invented Necromancy, but then, they created a new race who were hostile towards them.

TL: Both Demons and Devils are of the Chaos Faction. The Mountainous Clan (originally the Order Faction) fell to depravity and became the Devils (of the Chaos Faction), and despite being of the same Faction, they are mortal enemies.

The Undead who regained their freedom had no hesitation in revolting against their own creators and even built their own nation. The current Necropolis Broly and the Country of Undead Xiluo have become the vanguards against Demons.

In the country consisting of the dead, Xiluo Empire, the authority is centered around the Council of the Night, which is made up of Liches, while the living only serve as lowly slaves. Furthermore, there was an Undead Calamity hundred years ago, the Yongye Catastrophe, which almost resulted the end of the world, causing the undead to be viewed in repulse by the Order faction.

Heroic Spirits, natural-born Undead, the intangible race, the high-rank Undead with self-awareness and the instinctively bloodthirsty low-rank Undead. Normal citizens don’t have the knowledge and ability to differentiate between them. Thus, in their eyes, the Undead District in the east is just a gathering of scary demons.

“That is to say, no matter what we say or do, it is all useless?”

“Of course, the living have their own world of the living and the dead have their own world of the dead. Your Majesty, you might be able to ignore this kind of boundary, but to get normal citizens cross it, it would be a difficult task.”

Ah Bas, who is lying on my head, says so. Although he is only a dog, at this moment, he seems like a philosopher who has seen past life and death.

Not that far away, Ah Bao is currently hugging a pile of bones and he licks them, satisfied.

Looking even further away is a sight of demons prancing around. But, in my eyes, it is a scene of a daily life that can’t be more normal.

The Undead don’t need sustenance but this doesn’t mean that the high-rank Undead with self-awareness don’t have any desires. Right here, in the biggest market of the East District, rows and rows of shops are currently in business.

“How much does this preservative cost? Add another insecticide in too, the ones without sulfur. My skin is sensitive to it.” This is a big sister Skeleton Mage, she’s currently troubled by the increasing bug population in her empty skull.

“Black bandage, cursed bandage, I guarantee you that your magic would be as stable as your intestines. Is there any mummy or zombie uncles that are interested? It is the newest model from The Ring of Mystical Magic, you can even choose between the mushroom picture and the bear picture.”

TL: The Ring of Mystical Magic (????)-> Name of some company

“All kinds of fresh blood for sale. Humans, Elves and Dwarves, we have kinds of races stocked up here. Virgin(female), virgin(male), homosexual, we have different kinds of gender as well. If you purchase 2000CC at once, you can even enjoy a long-term home delivery service.”

The little girl who is wearing a red cap running around looks extremely cute, but the goods she is selling was equally scary.

“Skulls for sale, golden jade, bronze, stone, dragon bones, whatever you need, we have it. Does anyone want to change their brain? Uncle Lich, do you want to change your brain? We even have a black ISO quality guarantee, we assure you that your magic would flow smoothly and that the material is tough and durable, no fake goods in the mix. There is a trial period for 3 days and you can refund it without any reasons.”

After waving my hand to chase away the annoying red-hat Blood Tribe girl, I focus my attention on the distant and see the Skeleton Giant Klon, who is in charge of guarding the gates, waving to me. “Phew, those Town Security personnel are gone, I can finally go back now.”

The Undead District is unique in the entire Sulfur Mountain City. It is a comparatively independent district, where the Town Security has no authority to enforce the law.

I guess I had underestimated their will to capture me, to think they would actually block the gates. Looks like they were on a long-term ambush plan, waiting for me to walk into it so that they catch me to calm their anger.

Caught off guard, their ambush almost succeeded but fortunately, Klon was there to block their advances.

To assault an Undead at the boundary of the Undead District, this kind of actions could easily lead to a conflict. But as a good person, I proactively came up with a suggestion to solve the dispute.

“I heard that the Supreme Judge isn’t very satisfied with the Town Security army? No no, of course this isn’t a threat, I won’t send a complaint to the Hall of Enforcement, nor will I stand in front of the Supreme Court with banners and shout out my grievances. No, I am a good person, this definitely isn’t a threat. I just want you all to do an experiment for me. If you all do so, I would even be willing to leave with you all.”

“Hehe, it isn’t the first time I am bumping heads with you. Rest assured, this experiment isn’t some kind of evil magic. You should know, the main project of the year, the tourism-based Undead Theme Park is opening for service today and I am the contractor. But look, there isn’t a person in sight here to join in the fun. So, I am only inviting you all to become the first batch of customers and if you all had fun, you could help me advertise a bit as well.”

I rub my hands together, fawning on them.

“Of course, it is free, entirely free! As the first batch of customers, there is even a complimentary mystery gift!!”

“Breaking my promise? I am a believer of law and the God of Fairness, you are insulting my faith! There isn’t such a god? Well, there will be one in the future. Have faith in me, I will do what I promised you all. As long as you all help me finish the tests on all of the entertainment programs, I will immediately leave with you all.”

Thus, they agreed to my request…

Then, they regretted…

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Smelly bones! Let Momo down!! Momo’s entire body is aching!! Momo is dying.”

…In front of me is a certain female knight who is dangling by a rope.

Then, silence, because… the rope snapped…

“…Ah Bas, next time write a sign on the bungee jumping station that one must strip their armor before bungee jumping.”

Looking at the big hole in front of me, I expressed my condolences.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhh! I knew that you pile of bones wouldn’t be up to any good!! Let me down!!”

Whooshing past me while shouting is vice-captain Yawen which I met just not too long before. At this moment, her tanned face hardens, as though as she would puke anytime now. Apparently, she isn’t suited to the high-speed turns of the roller coaster.

“Let me down, you devils! Accept the judgement of the Holy Light!”

“Don’t, don’t!! Don’t summon the Holy Light on the roller coaster! …Forget it, looks like I was slow. Ah Bas, remember to write a sign saying ‘Don’t summon the Holy Light on any one of the playground’s facility.”

My warning was late. No matter what, the materials for building are still the products of Necromancy and if it were to meet its fated enemy, Holy Light…

The sight of the car dissipating when the roller coaster is on a slope hundred meters high and dashing down with high-speed, I finally had the honor to see it today…

“Wow, she flew really far…”

I swear that I didn’t do it on purpose…

“Owehh! You bastard!”

The beautiful Elf ladies sitting in a circle puking without any care of their image, this sight…

“Ah Bas, lower the Hell Turning Cup’s speed by 300%.”

Looks like I forgot that the living would get giddy when turning too fast. Yup, yup, it is best to lower the turning speed.

“My brain!!! I can’t see anything, you are going down today!!”

“The Universe Flying Saucer should just stick with a 180-degree turn, we should forget about doing a 360 degree.”

Looks like, I forgot that when a living’s head is hanging outside down for too long a time, they would experience temporary loss of vision and even death if hanged even longer.

“Too high, I’m scared, even the heavens and earths are shaking! Let me down, I’m begging you.”

“The Ferris Wheel only need to slowly move up and down, the carriage don’t have to spin.”

“Retreat, you evil beings!! Holy Light, I face so much evil spirits in front of me, is this the end?”

“I guess we shouldn’t use real spirits in the haunted house? But that wouldn’t be scary enough. But if we use real spirits, then what if those warriors really go all out against them. Hey, I should just close it for now.”

“Stop, I’m begging you! My head is spinning… no! Ah!”

“Pah!” The resounding resonance of someone crashing into the wall makes one’s head hurt just by listening.

“The Spirit Horses can pass through walls, but the living…”

“Luckily I did a test with them! It is wonderful that no life is lost. Even the Holy Knights known for their great endurance are suffering so much, if it were the normal population…”

Looking at the tragedy in front of me, hearing their sharp shrieks and yell of agony, I can’t help but feel fear. I tried to bring the idea of an amusement park from another world but it seems like it doesn’t go well with this world. If it weren’t for these ‘kind people’ helping me to experiment them, it would probably cause a disaster.

To thank them, I decided to fulfill my own promise and follow them back to the Town Security base after the test but…

“Today you have all worked hard. There are still another 120 segments to go. After finishing the testing, let’s all go report to the Town Security army together, I definitely won’t run away.”

“You… You better remember this. You might have won today but one of these days, I will take you into custody!”

But they all ran away…

“Don’t forget your complimentary mystery gift. It is a free year ticket for the Undead Theme Park. Remember to come by the next time!”

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