The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

Translator: StarveCleric  Editor: StarveCleric

Due to the disappearance of Lich Roland, the Dark Elves no longer have to worry about their home getting destroyed again. Thus, they clenched their teeth and after withdrawing the last of their savings, rebuilt their home for the 3rd time.

With many free labor (Such as the Leftover (Sheng) Knights, the Liver (Sheng) Knights and the Holy (Sheng) Knights) helping them, the Town Security headquarters was quickly rebuilt.

Designed by the Gray Dwarves Architects, the new Town Security headquarters is earthquake-proof, explosion-proof, fireproof, flood-proof and Roland-proof. As for how did I know all these, it is all written clearly on the blueprints, the few bright red words could be seen clearly even from more than a hundred meters away.

“I can understand what the first 4 is about, but what does being Roland-proof means?”

Un, I made use of the right that only children possess, the right to be inquisitive. However, the event that happens next renders Diana’s answer pointless.

“Roland!! Who mentioned that name!” The moment the name popped out of my mouth, numerous female knights seem to jump out of nowhere. Fully clothed in their armor, they hold sharp swords in their hands. Their eyes are filled with blood veins and their murderous aura makes it seem like they are ready to slaughter someone.

“That ‘Roland-proof’ refers to an Anti-Undead Barrier that we hired a master to lay down in order to deal with a certain someone. Right, little Rolo, don’t say your uncle’s name here.” I nodded my head with an intentional look that spells of confusion while secretly wiping away the cold sweat on my palms.

“Even after so long… Is their grudge that deep? I was the one who approved of the subsidies at the High Court, you know, otherwise, it is impossible for you all to rebuild your headquarters so quickly! You heartless bunch of Elves.”

I peeked at those crimson red eyes while mumbling curses directed at these ‘aunties’ under my breath. I know that it is impossible for me to be exposed but I still instinctively tightened the cloak around me.

“Wakaka, I didn’t expect your reputation to be so horrid. As expected of my disciple.” Alright, I was even mocked by the old demonic granny in my mantle.

However, that Diana seems to have recalled something and immediately adds on.

“Don’t say the name when you are outside too, absolutely not! Your uncle… That, he has quite a bad reputation in the city. I am not really prejudiced against him but there are some words, as an elder, that isn’t suitable for me to say. Anyway, little Rolo, for your own safety, you mustn’t tell anyone that you are Roland’s nephew.”

Alright, looking at this red-faced Moon Knight who seems to be embarrassed about speaking badly about others, that black cat is already rolling around the floor laughing.

“Little Brother Roland, what exactly did you do? Why are you faring so badly on your territory that even the female knight feels ashamed to talk about you?”

“Shut up, my magic pet. Otherwise, I will make you learn how to talk like a squirrel and do 360-degree flips on the spot for 2 and a half weeks until you puke!”

After hearing my words, despite boiling with anger, Harloys knows that I will carry out my threat. If I say that I will make her do flips from 2 and a half weeks, there is no way I will make her turn around for 3 weeks. Harloys, who is always good at reading situations and adapting to them, immediately shuts up obediently.

“Alright, Little Rolo, hurry and go eat.”

After hearing these words, my excitement starts to well up. I have been meeting with misfortune for the entire day. Looks like my luck is finally turning around. I don’t even have a single bronze coin on my entire body, so it is a good opportunity for me to get some food.

On the road to the canteen, looking at this hesitating female knight, many thoughts ran through my mind.

There are many things that I have to do, but the one with the topmost priority is to get rid of this young form!

With my current stature, even the hilt of the sword is larger than my hand. I can’t even grab a sword stably, so how in the world am I going to fight. Furthermore, the small figure means that my steps would be small and with my limbs short, I would face difficulty in exerting my full strength and coupled with many other limitations, it would be hard for me to perform.

Furthermore, I would come into contact like the top brasses of the nobles in the Human World in the future. Reality isn’t like a Knight Novel. Outer appearance may not determine everything, but being young, it would be difficult for me to inspire trust in others. All of my plans would go down the drain like that.

“If I were to wait to grow naturally, who knows how long it would take for this body to mature. I must first look for a way to hide this form. Right, the Dragon Tribe is a kind of tribe where the older they are, the stronger they are. Going by her age, Little Red isn’t supposed to be old enough to be promoted to an Ancient Dragon. Perhaps, there might be some kind of secret arts involved. I will go and question her later.”

After making up my mind, I start to enjoy the lunch that I have been waiting a long time for. The other side of the table is full of ‘aunties’ who keeps staring secretly at me.

Not just the tables, even the doorway is filled with people.

At the corner, Momo is tied up by a chain and keeps on howling non-stop.

“Momo isn’t a pedophile, it is just that the person I like just happens to be a child. You bunch who haven’t touched a man for several decades, you bunch of thirsty #@@￥@, touch your heart and ask yourself if you all really do not wish to dye that innocent smile with your own color. He already has a master and that is me, Momo. I will not let any of you snatch him away from me!”

Fine, even her colleagues can’t stand her salivating and pleading look that they even stuffed up her mouth.

On the corner, even with her mouth stuffed and her neck fastened to a collar, Momo is still trying her best to pounce over like a frenzied wild dog. Her colleagues were trying her best to push her down while I pretend not to hear or see anything at all.

Looking at how I am eating heartily, Diana hesitates for a moment before speaking.

“I’m afraid that you came a step too late. Your uncle won’t be coming back. Why don’t you live with us temporarily?”

Hearing this, before I could even react, cheers that almost flipped the roof filled the entire canteen.

“Big Sister, you are finally enlightened! I thought that you aren’t normal.”

“Big Sister, well done. You can enjoy him first, just remember to leave a small part to me.”

“That’s right. Even if we are unable to devour him, it is good to have him stay as an eye-candy. However, Big Sister, you won’t truly be thinking of keeping him to yourself?”

“Hmph, I am not a pedophile, so I am not really interested. However, after 30 years or so, lend him to me for a while, I probably won’t reject him. Anyway, humans grow very quickly and you should be sick of him by 30 years.”

“Yeah, you aren’t a pedophile, you are into geezers.”

Should I say as expected of the open Dark Elves? The bluntness of their words really makes one exclaim in shock. At the same time, as the Dark Elves rejoiced, I trembled from the depths of my heart. I started to wonder if it was worth entering a lion’s den just for a meal.

After hearing the cheering of her comrades, Diana stuns for a moment before smiling bitterly.

She couldn’t explain what she was really feeling. Was it a coincidence for her to know that Roland is Lord Wumianzhe and now that Lord Wumianzhe has Ascended, is this child fated to never be able to find his own uncle?

Furthermore, even if it is Sulfur Mountain City we are talking about, it is still part of the dangerous Underground World. If he were to run into some slave peddler or perverts… The thing which Sulfur Mountain City doesn’t lack is the latter. At the very least, the ‘wild beast’ which is bound by metal chains is definitely one.

“Consider it. Seeing from your white and smooth skin, you don’t look like a kid from the Underground World. This is a totally different place from the Surface, you should really think deeply about how you are going to survive here.”

“Thank you, Big Sister. But Uncle Roland told me that if I was unable to find him, I am to look for Lord Einz Mezus.”

Looks like I can only thicken my skin to look for Little Red. Scanning my surroundings, these Elves seem to be concealing something suspicious in their mouths. Their eyes are glowing green. No matter how I look at it, they look like a pack of hungry wolves. Staying here is simply too dangerous.

However, due to a certain reason, I have to return back to my old home for a short period of time. Perhaps, I might have to look for a reliable ‘guardian’ for me.

Hearing the great name of the new Dragon Empress, Diana stuns for a moment before recalling that the child in front of her is the nephew of Wumianzhe, so there is a high possibility that he would be related to Lord Einz Mezus. Coming to a realization, she nods her head.

“Alright, then I will send you over after you are done eating.”

Ignoring the sighs around me, I continued eating. Once I was done, Diana passes over a form to me.

“Looking at how you are, you should be able to write. Fill in your basic particulars so that I can make you a temporary pass for ease of movement within the city.”

The eyes of the predators around made cold sweat trickle down my back. I had the intention to flee long ago and so, swoosh swoosh swoosh, I finished filling up in an instant and throwing the form, I left immediately.

Gossip is almost a trait that women are born with. The moment Diana, their Captain, leaves, the group of female Knights immediately rush up to vie for the form. However, what was mysterious was that despite being Elves, they weren’t able to comprehend the words on the form.

Then, only after someone exclaimed it did they realize that the little boy had actually been communicating with them using their mother tongue, the Dark Elf Language.

Afterward, under the intense study of a few scholars simultaneously, they realized that the form which had words no one could comprehend was actually a combination of more than a dozen language scrambled together. Despite being incredibly messy, there wasn’t a single mistake in it.

“The first word is in Dragon Language while the phrase at the back is written in Devil Language. The middle part is jotted down using the Ancient Elf Language. Yet, they are put together using the dialect of the Leopardians of the Far South. If this isn’t a Great Saint well-versed in languages showing off his linguistic abilities, then it must mean that the one writing it has gone mad. Language is used as a medium for thoughts and all creatures use their mother tongue to think. If these words are the derived from his thought process, then there is a good chance that he is already completely mad.”

———–

Despite becoming the noble Dragon Empress, Ein Mezus’s life didn’t change at all compared to the past. She still sleeps lazily in her den every day. Eat some food, exchange some blows, other than the quality of her opponents getting higher and higher, there isn’t really much difference in her lifestyle.

When she was still sleeping in her den, she heard from the Dracon Tributes that serves her that there is a fellow named Rolo who seeks her presence. Overjoyed, she immediately rushes over to the doorway to welcome him. However, upon seeing him, she stuns for a moment before…

“Puuu! Haha, to think that you would have such a day too, Roland! Come, call me auntie!”

A certain Dragon starts rolling around the floor laughing without any hesitation. Her laughter reverberating in the entire den was so hateful that it makes one grind his teeth. Angry, I sent a kick towards her. However, not mentioning that she totally disregarded it, she laughed even louder.

“I can’t take it anymore! You even named yourself Rolo! Big Brother Rolo, come, praise the Holy Light and justice and continue leading us on our adventures.”

Alright, since I am unable to defeat her, I can only wait for her to finish laughing. That fellow actually continued laughing for 10 minutes straight that tears were flowing down her eyes. The moment I mentioned my demands, she immediately shakes her head.

“A secret method to hasten growth? There is indeed such method, but if you do not wish to be reduced to a state of being unable to even remember your own name, it is best that you do not use it.”

It seems that the Dragon Tribe used this method to hasten the incubation of the Dragon Eggs in order to create fodder. In just a short 3 weeks, a Dragon Egg is able to turn into a Young Dragon. However, due to the rapid growth, the Dragon’s brain will suffer fatal damage, turning it into a mindless fodder.

“You humans really don’t respect life. Every single phase of life has its own meaning. By playing around, toddlers train the coordination of their limbs and their ability to move around. Children use games to cultivate their thinking and their cooperation. They imitate their elders and inherit their knowledge and skills. Teenagers start to try to gather teams in order to face the cruel nature. The middle-aged, having their stamina deteriorated, learn to shoulder the responsibility of propping up a family while the old, despite turning frail, gains wisdom.”

“Every age group has a way of living that is most suitable to for their survival. This is a gift from nature. Those who just look at the future don’t have a present. Without a present, how can one have a future?”

Hearing these whole bunch of words, I was stunned. This doesn’t seem like words Little Red would say.

“Why are you looking at me like this? No matter what, I am a giant Dragon that is old enough to be your great grandmother. It isn’t that big of a deal for me to say something that has a philosophical.”

“Molly said that?”

“Of course not, there’s no way she would know all these. It is my dad.”

Alright, so it is that unlucky Dragon King that I have heard so much about. However, looking at the gleeful look on Little Red’s face, is this what it means for someone to be cursed of being unable to remain cool for more than 3 seconds?

However, what she said makes sense. I couldn’t help but recall the journey that Fool-dam went through. He slowly trained his body and learned bit by bit from the experience he underwent. Gradually, as his physical body grew powerful and his powers started to mature. With his basics in place, it formed the foundation for him to walk even further.

“Taking the long-term into account, I recommend that you take it slowly. Train yourself gradually so as to uncover your own potential. No matter what, this is better than pulling on the seedling in a hope that it would grow taller.”

“However, this can’t do as well. I can’t even grasp a sword like that. I would require a body that is able to fight at the minimum.”

“If you only want the outer appearance of a grown man, you have looked for the wrong person. You should have looked for Margaret. Space and Time is her specialty. Changing one’s physique without affecting one’s growth should be a simple matter for her.” While speaking, Little Red reverted back to her human form.

“Margaret? Who? Oh, that Saint who likes to dress in blue? Can you introduce her to me?”

Nodding my head, I reckon that my guess should be spot-on. However, somehow, after my words sound out, Little Red’s face turned white in an instant, showing an awful look.

“What are you joking about! You… You forgot about her first once again. Forget it, there’s no use getting angry with you. Come with me.”

Alright, looks like I won’t be able to avoid Adam this time. Under Little Red’s lead, charging through everything else, it didn’t take long before we arrive at the City Lord Residence.

“Hahahaha, so cute. Little Brother Roland, it gives me such satisfaction to see that you would actually have such a day!!”

Alright, I knew that this would happen from the start. The fellow who is rolling around and laughing just like Little Red previously is my mortal enemy which I find myself at a loss for words to describe.

“Uncle Bones is so cute!”

Annie’s dazed gaze looks a little dangerous. However, seeing from how she didn’t directly pounce at me, she is much better than the female Elves.

The Saint dressed in blue also smiles faintly at me.

“A Time-Changing Ring, that’s simple. Come and retrieve it in a week.”

“I am really thankful to you. To ask you for a favor despite meeting for the first time, I am really deeply apologetic. I will remember this debt and repay you in the future.”

An incomprehensible situation happened. Even I knew that it is only right to thank someone after seeking them for their help, but why is it that the moment those words left my mouth, the atmosphere which was still warm a second ago chills the next moment.

“Cough, un, you haven’t gone back to your dwelling huh.”

“Un, I will be heading back later. This time, my losses seem to be more severe. I’m afraid I would have to spend at least 3 months holed up in there. Right, did you all collect the Roland Sacred Sword’s fragmented pieces? I think that I should be able to reforge it.”

Yes, when I asked the System to compensate me for my current state, the System threw me the additional right to use my Fate Point to create a weapon that is suited for me. Since I am able to make God Equipment, the first one that I thought of is the treasured sword that serves as my family heirloom.

“Cough, of course. Give me a moment, I will go take fetch them.”

When Adam who tried to fix the situation left, the entire room turned bizarrely silent. Even when Adam brought back a bag of fragmented pieces, no one said anything.

In the room of the not very large City Lord Residence, a strange atmosphere starts to arise, causing everyone to fall silent. Naturally, under the circumstance where no one was willing to say anything, this reunion ended abruptly. After bidding my farewell, the moment I walked out of the room, I heard sobbing sounds at my back.

Now, I know that it must be something that I have done wrong. Thus, I hastened my footsteps to return to my dwelling quickly so that I could find out exactly what I did wrong.

“Looks like I must have said something I shouldn’t have. Sigh, what exactly did I forget along with that 1 point of Intelligence.”

Intelligence is the basis for one to use magic. At the same time, it also represents a human’s rational thinking and memory. It is a part of the soul, but it is also influenced by the physical body.

I remember that back when I was still a Lich, my Intelligence was 30. Reducing the 2 points that is additionally given by the Lich’s Body, my basic Intelligence should have been 28. But, at this moment, it is only 27. Obviously, I suffered some kind of loss when I died.

How could it be possible for one to not pay any price for death? The concept of death itself is the dissipation of one’s soul. The water of River Styx is a lethal weapon that steals away memory. However, I didn’t fear it at all.

“It isn’t the first time anyway. I won’t die just by forgetting something. Anyway, I don’t even know what I have forgotten, so I wouldn’t feel regretful or upset over it, so it is really nothing.”

After stepping into my old dwelling, the extinguished lamps light up one after another and the entire house comes to life.

However, I didn’t stop at just the residential area. My goal from the very start was the underground chamber under my dwelling. That is also the reason why I had to return to Sulfur Mountain City.

The passageway was reminiscent of towers in the Middle Age, not even a glimmer of light could be seen and the only thing that reverberates is the sound of footsteps.

The moment I stepped into the bottom-most floor of the underground chamber, the entire underground library lights up. Under the effects of Mystical Arts, countless books flew around the room just like birds who have just obtained life.

“No mistake in soul detection. Welcome back, Master. I am this Lab and Library’s man-made Tower Spirit 007. I hope that you didn’t forget about me this time. Then, following the tasks that you entrusted before your departure, the education sequence will be triggered. This time, where do you intend to start reading from? My personal suggestion is to start from Language, then Math, Physics and Chemistry. After filling on all of the basics then should you start studying about actual battles.”

Glancing around, this is really a sea of books. Thousands of shelves stood there silently and under the effects of Spatial Magic, this is just a corner of the gigantic glacier.

On the shelves, there are labels such as Physics and Chemistry. There are also shelves which are labeled as Army Stratagems, The Secret of Gods and Magic Arts. But what that was labeled on the largest portion of the shelves are logs, experimental logs that belong to me.

If death was that easy to deal with, then there would be no reason for everyone to fear death. Even if I am lucky enough to not enter reincarnation making use of the System and the special protection that being a Transcender grants to my soul, I am still tortured by the missing pieces in my memory and knowledge after reviving. Furthermore, gauging by how my basic stats actually dropped, this is my greatest loss by far.

“The damage is quite heavy this time. It looks like I have died too many times that even the material of my soul is starting to crack. However, it matters not. The Intelligence point that I have lost can be regained and the knowledge that I have forgotten can be learned once again. As for the memories I lost… At least I am able to find back a portion of them from my logs.”

Yes, this is my library and my lab, as well as the treasure vault of my memory and knowledge. I know that my goals are hard to realize, so death cannot be avoided and the memory loss that I face during death will occur time and time again. However, as long as I jot down everything I learned and learn from it again, read it once more, I should be able to remember most of the things I lost.

“Tower Spirit 007, start from my experimental logs. Un, let’s start from the logs of my previous life. The tag labeled on it should be Crazy Lich. Also, look for the phrase Margaret. I want to first understand what was it that happened just now.

I have cultivated a habit of writing diaries for a few centuries now. I will record everything in it; when I go outdoors, brush my teeth, close the lights and sleep; the daily newspaper that I buy and schemes and plans for wars; from boring cases I face during trials to fixing the legislation. No matter whether it is an important matter or a small affair, I would record all of it down on my logs.

Perhaps, I might lose my memory after death. But with these countless shelves and diaries as my substitute memory vault, as long as nothing happens to it, I am able to start afresh no matter how many times it takes.

“1,2,3…5,7,8,9, Seems still okay, I only forgot 2 of the basic numbers so filling in the gaps shouldn’t be that difficult.”

The reason why I was counting while floating on the River Styx is not really because I was that bored but rather, I was trying my best to find out how much I have forgotten as well as to try to jog my memory.

Memories are often interlinked. A human’s knowledge is often intertwined together like a tree. If Language is the basis of all Sociology disciplines, then Math is the basis of Engineering. It might seem as though I just lost my memory for a few numbers, but this represents a series of gaps in my knowledge.

At this moment, I have much more important matters to remember. Under the propulsion of magic, using Margaret as a key phrase, the Experimental Logs of the Crazy Lich has flipped onto the page where everything began. Those are the days where we adventured together.

“Ah, crap. I better apologize tomorrow. No, since she is a Saint, she would be very sensitive and careful. If I were to throw her an insincere and casual apology, it would only make things worse. It would better for me to apologize after finishing all of my logs. Sigh, the last time I took 2 months and that was a hundred years ago. With a total of 300 years of logs, how long will it take for me to finish through all these? Three months? Half a year?”

Immediately, I knew that I was being too positive.

“Ah, seems like I have really died too many times. To think that I wouldn’t be able to even recognize the words I wrote. This square-looking word… Tower Spirit, please pass me a Chinese learning material first.”

Very quickly, a large stack of books is stacked in front of me on my desk.

“Men at their birth, are naturally good. Their natures are much the same; their habits become widely different.

If foolishly there is no teaching, their nature will deteriorate. The right way in teaching, is to attach the utmost importance in thoroughness…”

In front of the study desk, a young kid carries a book that is even bigger than him. The melodious tune of him reciting from the book echoes between the shelves, into the distance…

———-

PS. The name of the book? Lich was never the main point, the main point from the start was the diaries/log.

Squirrel once hesitated whether I should name this book ‘The Savior’s Logs/Diaries’, but as it is too chuuni and without a context, I chose to go with the current name.

TL: Reference for the 3 character classic. It is much concise in Chinese. (“人之初,性本善.性相近,习相远.苟不教,性乃迁.教之道,贵以专…”)

I alternated between the usage of logs and diaries but it is actually the same thing, mostly hesitating because diaries somehow seemed more appropriate in certain cases

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