The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

Translator: imperfectluck  Editor: Kurisu

The undead’s continuous retreat seemed to indicate that the living had won. Yet, ominous magical waves unnoticed by ordinary people indicated that things weren’t over yet.

Of course, for most ordinary people, the undead’s retreat was more than enough for them to be joyously celebrating victory. In fact, some courageous individuals were even considering whether or not to continue hunting down the undead.

While the denizens of Starwood City celebrated, a certain section of the castle wall had mysteriously become completely unoccupied.

Alright, this was because nobody was an idiot. All the killer vines growing here were far more effective than anything else at preventing visitors. Currently, even the higher-ups of the human defending army didn’t dare to come find Roland anymore.

Two women were currently glaring at each other at this location. The two of them had once been teacher and student, as well as companions in an antisocial dark cult, but now, the two of them were fighting over the same man.

“If you’re skilled enough to steal a man, why don’t you have the ability to open a door in your cat form… Why do I feel like I’ll be in even more trouble if I crack a joke like this right now?”

To be honest, I had always treated the so-called aura of the strong as nothing more than a joke. Legends about being able to crush someone’s willpower and resistance with a single glance sounded far more like secretly using an underhanded mental magic to influence the enemy’s mind, and then whitewashing the story afterwards.

But now, I believed in the aura of the strong. At the very least, in the current atmosphere where these two women were glaring viciously at each other, my survival instincts told me that my best chance at surviving here was to keep my mouth shut… But why was it that in such a situation, I had such a strong desire to crack a joke and liven up the atmosphere? Was I truly fated to be a comedic relief character after all?

[No, you’re just absolutely passionate about shooting yourself in the foot. Some life forms like you are naturally inclined towards self-destructive tendencies.]

As always, my System’s comments made me feel rather helpless. But before I could counter Astrya’s comments, Harloys spoke up first in our soul connection.

“Roland, stop being an observer. You need to act to confirm what I just said to Amelia. Or do you want this lie to be exposed? I’m helping you out here. As long as you pretend that you’re in love with me, you’ll naturally have an excuse to reject Amelia and all the other women. I already know what you want already. Or did you really want to get married and become a good husband now? Besides, even if I scam you, do you really think that it’s possible for me to restrain you? We’re under a magical pet contract, and you’re the master!”

I thought things over after hearing this and felt that Harloys was absolutely correct. It seemed that no matter what, I wouldn’t be losing out. And so, I grit my teeth and mentally replied through our soul connection, “Alright. This time, I owe you a big favor.”

Then, I organized my words, as all lies would be ineffective against Amelia. After a while, I finally came up with something truthful to say.

Perhaps some of these things I should have said long ago.

“Amelia, I’ve actually known about your feelings for me, and I’m quite moved. However, my previous marriage proposal incident was a misunderstanding. I’ve actually never treated you as a woman… Ptui! I meant that I treat you as a brother… Wait, something still seems wrong here. What I mean is that rather than treating you as a love interest, it’s more that I treated you as a best friend, someone I can talk about anything to, a brother-in-arms with whom I can search for the truth of the world and the soul together…”

When I first started talking, I was still somewhat hesitant, but the more I spoke, the more truth came out more successfully.

Perhaps, some things I never took the time to carefully consider, but when I started talking about them, my words naturally echoed my true thoughts. And as I spoke my words out loud, not only was I trying to convince Amelia, I was also trying to convince myself.

“…I’ve thought things through now. Perhaps this all started from a misunderstanding, or maybe I can call it a prank with no ill intentions. However, I have harmed you. Sometimes, the more one stalls, the greater the harm is. I apologize. I should have told you this long ago. It’s all my fault. Come, take any revenge you want on me, Amelia…”

“I know.”

As I worked up my courage and rejected Amelia, she didn’t greet me with constricting vines or vicious interrogation as I expected. Rather, she replied almost casually.

The green-haired witch smiled as if she had long wanted to hear such an answer.

Amelia naturally knew what Roland thought about her already. As she was talented in seeing through others’ true intentions, she had long since understood Roland’s thoughts even before Roland considered things properly.

Before Amelia entered her hibernation, the only thing preventing her from making her own choice was what she herself really wanted, which she hadn’t known.

But after Amelia awoke from her long hibernation, she now knew exactly what she wanted. Amelia gained a decisiveness that wouldn’t be affected in the slightest by others.

And now that Amelia had simultaneously been called a “good person,” “brother,” and that I was “quite moved” but still rejecting her, the witch’s reply was…

“It never mattered in the first place what you thought.”

The next instant, I felt a subtle sensation along my spine as the witch smiled brilliantly like a blooming sunflower.

Amelia smiled, her lips arcing upward slightly as her blood-red eyes revealed a fiery passion. Her faint smile seemed just like a passing spring breeze, as well as a quietly blooming fresh flower.

The green-haired witch gently caressed my face as she blushed like a young girl experiencing love for the first time. However, she then lowered her lips to my neck and left her mark on me. I felt a soft sensation that told me the mark of her red lips would likely take a long long time to wash off.

“I like you, and want to be together with you. That’s all that matters to me.”

Amelia’s gentle smile was right before me. This caused me to dazedly touch my own face, pinching myself to check that I wasn’t dreaming…

“As expected, it didn’t hurt. I should have known that Amelia would never smile so cutely… Ouch, ouch, ouch! Ahhh! Please go easy on me! My waist, my waist! I thought that I couldn’t sense pain anymore, so why does this hurt so much! Such a scary smile, you’re truly the real Amelia!”

The next instant, Amelia’s gentleness vanished completely together with the return of my pain sensation that made me feel rather helpless. However, not only did Amelia’s glare focus on me, she also locked onto my cat.

But this time, Amelia’s brilliant smile gave off an entirely different feeling. Just earlier, she had seemed like a girl in love, but now her gaze alone sent chills down my spine. She seemed just like an executioner who was about to bring death.

“Then, what do you think of that thieving cat? Since you’re claiming to have eloped with her, there must be a reason. Don’t say that I didn’t remind you. This cat is extraordinarily sly, and her feelings for you might not be as positive as you think they are,” said Amelia.

“Think about your own future. Are you going to obediently be a good husband now, or continue your happy single life? Remember what you just promised me, and think about your still uncompleted goals!” said Harloys.

Even without Harloys reminding me about the contract I just signed with her through our soul connection, I still knew what to say. I had no intentions of being ripped apart to be fed to Amelia’s Piranha Plants. It would be far too embarrassing for a mythic hero like myself to die to domestic violence.

“The silly cat… Being together with her makes me quite happy…”

I did my best to come up with truthful words I could say. Only now did I notice that I had never truly treated the silly cat as a woman. And, my reunion with Harloys after several centuries seemed to also start from attacking each other.

“A female lead who was torn apart on her feelings right from her introduction? This situation seems so familiar…”

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