The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

Translator: imperfectluck  Editor: Kurisu

While the battle of Hell redetermined the power balance between the Order, Chaos, and the new Hell Faction, this battle’s true significance wasn’t known by ordinary mortals until much, much later.

Most ordinary people would only be able to learn the changes among the higher-ups from the major churches, local countries, and changes in territory.

However, some things were impossible to hide and were already recorded in history books, such as the most obvious and greatest combat achievement—Ladvioka the Lord of Putrefaction’s death.

“This is the first confirmed death of a Main God in combat in more than a millennium. This is a tremendous victory for our Order Faction, and the best evidence that Holy Light is illuminating our glorious path forward.”

This was an announcement from the Holy Church that was as shameless as always. But at the very least, the Holy Church had learned its lesson from its previous attempt to steal the credit. This announcement didn’t attempt to credit the victory to the God of Holy Light, only implying it indirectly. If the Holy Church had attempted such a stunt, then the Hell Faction would have started spreading the unbelievable news that the God of Holy Light’s incarnation had actually been fighting on the same side as the Demon Lords during the battle of Hell.

A Demon Chaos Main God had died. This was the greatest combat achievement so far in the current Holy War. If you only looked at the surface level results, this could even be considered the Order Faction’s greatest victory in the past millennium.

However, what ordinary people didn’t know was that more than ten Main Gods had actually taken part in the battle of Hell. The Lord of Putrefaction was only the unluckiest one, or perhaps he should be called the greediest one.

Since greed had driven him more strongly than any other Main God there, Ladvioka was the Main God who’d invested the most of his resources into invading Hell. Although he’d indeed posed a tremendous threat, he also faced the greatest counterattack, making it only natural that he ended up dying. I had already expected that Main Gods would invade Hell to prevent its establishment, so of course I had prepared trump cards capable of taking down Main Gods.

“…Although Ladvioka was killed off, this only counts as killing off the one who was too hasty, and it also used up my one-time usage resources. The other Main Gods were far slyer than Ladvioka. The other Main Gods who only pretend to work for us or have secret arrangements with us are all a bunch of sly bastards. It could be said that Ladvioka was the only Main God who attacked us seriously during the battle of Hell. If all the Main Gods had attacked all out with their full might, it’s doubtful who the final victor would have been.”

However, I broke out into laughter when I thought of this, for the very essence of Chaos dictated that while the Chaos Main Gods were incredibly powerful, they would also be incredibly selfish. Each Chaos Main God would only care about themselves, so allying together against a common enemy and not caring about personal loss for the greater benefit was something incompatible with their inner natures from the very start. This worst-case scenario was something that was almost impossible.

If that worst-case scenario of the Chaos Main Gods working together with zero friction between them was actually possible, then the Chaos Faction would simply attack with full force in the Holy War already. Considering the fact that the Chaos Faction had always been twice as strong as the Order Faction with twice the number of Main Gods, the Order Faction never would have even stood a chance of survival if it weren’t for the Chaos Faction’s internal conflicts.

“Wait a moment, it might not be completely impossible…”

The essence of Chaos determined that it was impossible for the Demon Lords to create an allied demon army that could fully trust each other. However, this didn’t mean that they couldn’t become the most dangerous invaders of all, as it was possible for an even more powerful will to suppress and control all the demons.

Even the Chaos Abyss had some Order to it—the law of the jungle, where the strong preyed on the weak and the final victor was the ruler.

Although this was quite primitive and unreasonable, it was indeed effective. Even for a Chaos Main God, as long as you beat them into absolute submission, they wouldn’t worry about shame and would completely surrender.

Previously, Cynthia had restrained the Demon Lords, forbidding the Demon Lords’ internal wars from escalating too much in scale. Although this reduced the demons’ deaths due to internal warfare, this also limited the possibility of producing more Demon Lords. The laughable situation of only having nobles but no king was actually treated as a normal situation… this was obviously because the regent didn’t want any kings to appear.

But now, the “regent” Cynthia was no longer around…

It was obvious that the demons would now go all out in their wars against each other. The final victor would then be determined only after the demons were satisfied; continuing their internal warfare would end in every demon’s death.

So as a conclusion, the strongest possible demons would eventually emerge as the demons’ leaders. The forever chaotic demon army would finally be unified under a truly powerful existence.

But no matter how I analyzed things, I was unable to do anything about it except to rank the demons as one of the greatest threats possible.

The Chaos Abyss was such a damned place that even the devils were unwilling to go there. Even the purest angel would eventually become fallen after staying too long in the Chaos Abyss. Apart from the musclehead demons that only thought about eating and killing every day, as well as the dark cultists and war maniacs who had something wrong with their brains, nobody could possibly like such a damned place.

“If only I could place a double agent into the Chaos Abyss. Perhaps I can toss Reyne down there, since she has a demon bloodline…”

I kept trying to scheme, but was unable to actually do anything. Of course, I was just saying such a thing casually. Although a damned place like the Chaos Abyss would make for excellent training, it would be far too difficult to survive down there. As Reyne was the Queen of the Mist Kingdom, she was far too important here in the mortal plane. And if I actually tossed her down into the Chaos Abyss, I would also have to worry about her going down the wrong path due to my twin brother Karwenz’s influence.

Actually, Elisa should have been the best choice for my double agent in the Chaos Abyss. But right now, not only was there the issue that I was currently hiding from her, if she truly went down to the Chaos Abyss, the Chaos Main Gods that I antagonized back during the battle of Hell would happily kill her in a heartbeat.

Back when the battle of Hell concluded, I had evilly opened up a portal for the Chaos Main Gods to leave which directly led to Heaven’s Mountain and the God of Holy Light. Yet, the Chaos Main Gods had still managed to survive and return to the Chaos Abyss. And, since Elisa had personally attempted to stop Karwenz for me, that made it obvious that she was actually on my side.

An existence like Elisa would be intimately connected to her Flame Sea dimension. It would be impossible for her to conceal her presence if she returned to the Chaos Abyss. It would be the equivalent of sending her to her death if I had her do so.

[Actually, I know someone who will not only survive in the Chaos Abyss, but do really well there. And, it’s most likely that he’ll not only be able to influence the situation there, he can probably even set a great pitfall for the Chaos Main Gods.]

“Who?”

I was astonished to hear this. How come I didn’t know that I had such a capable subordinate who would do such an incredible job in the Chaos Abyss?

[Roland Mist.]

“Hahaha. You’re having fun at my expense again…”

However, I suddenly swallowed my ice-cold laughter. When I thought about it some more, Astrya actually seemed to be correct. My current power level wasn’t that high (when compared to the Chaos Main Gods), and existences at my current power level were quite common in the Chaos Abyss. As long as I didn’t attract the attention of a Chaos Main God, I would indeed be quite capable of surviving down there.

[Also, the Chaos Abyss is the best possible location for you to power up. You should consider it some more for the sake of your own future…]

Not only did my System’s advice not convince me, she even raised my suspicion. This was already the second time recently that she was attempting to convince me to go to the Chaos Abyss. This was completely unlike the typical Astrya who simply watched from a distance, waiting for me to make a fool of myself as if nothing had anything to do with her.

Previously, if she wanted to set a pitfall for me, she would only try once, and then give up if I didn’t fall for the trick. This was the first time I was seeing her be so persistent… Even when digging pitfalls, the victim had to be willing to fall into the pitfall. So, was this the pride of the Goddess of Order?

“What’s your reason? I need the most honest reason.”

[…If Cynthia had truly died for real, the dimensional walls should have shattered on a large scale already. Yet, the dimensional walls are still complete. Also, I can sense Cynthia’s soul wavelengths in the lower planes…]

Alright then, the rest didn’t need to be said. Seven years ago, allowing Karwenz to leave while dragging Cynthia’s struggling soul into the void had indeed been a foolish idea. Something must have happened between Karwenz and Cynthia afterwards. However, considering the situation back then, I didn’t have sufficient power to stop Karwenz from doing what he wanted.

“Um, it’s not that I want to interrupt your little chat, but aren’t you forgetting about something…?”

The silly cat actually looked at me hesitantly as if she was feeling awkward about what she’d just said.

“Oh, the adventuring team that asked me for assistance? The wood spirits’ aerial knights are already on their way. What am I supposed to do if they don’t get there in time? They’ve been unlucky enough to meet a Demon Lord… I can only hope for the best.”

Harloys shook her head, while staring at my lower body… alright then, it happened to be that my lower body was completely numb to the point of feeling nothing anymore. However, a certain woman who was more flowery than most flowers was still constricting those dangerous vines of hers even more.

Although it was rather strange for me to be all tied up yet seriously discussing major issues, Amelia had completely ignored all my attempts at asking her to let me go. The current Amelia was smiling far too brilliantly, brilliantly to the point where I didn’t even dare to turn around and look.

A strange sensation spread from my spine to my entire body. This sensation felt like pain, mixed with something else entirely. Amelia’s vines were penetrating deep under my skin. It was a rather strange sensation to have my entire nervous system under someone else’s control.

“Wait a moment, I’m not a masochist! It doesn’t make me happy to be tied up! And, I don’t think that men are the ones who are supposed to be penetrated. Could you please not do this?”

Amelia’s pretty face was right next to my ear as she licked me with her tongue. However, her sweet and youthful-sounding voice was filled with dripping venom.

“If I say you are, then that’s what you are. And even if you aren’t, you’ll become one in the future… As for you being a man? That’s actually not a problem, either. I think you’ll be quite cute as Princess Peach.”

I could sense the vines penetrating even deeper under my skin, with some entering my brain and some around my crotch as if they were about to start modifying my body… I had never doubted Amelia’s abilities regarding biology and human body modification, so now I sensed a new danger right before me. Perhaps it was being forced to the brink that indeed gave people inspiration. As I looked all around me, I suddenly came up with an idea that could save me by blaming someone else.

“Amelia, to be honest, I actually have someone I like already. Yep, I ran away from Elisa because I wanted to be together with that person. That’s why, although I’m quite grateful for your assistance and favor, I’m someone loyal to my partner who can only be together with one person. That’s why, I apologize…”

I did my very best to smile sincerely while staring at the target I was intending to use as scapegoat—a certain silly cat who was yawning while enjoying my predicament.

“Hmph, you’re even laughing at my crisis? You’re going to be just as misfortunate as I am really soon.”

Ever since Amelia arrived, Harloys had actually been doing nothing apart from watching the fun and adding fuel to the fire. Since she was treating me like this, then I would pay her the favor back.

“Yep, that’s her right there. The one I like is Harloys. I eloped together with her.”

Right after I grit my teeth while dragging the silly cat down with me, she actually chuckled while transforming from black cat to a loli to an adult female Gold Elf. She even put on a light golden wedding veil over her excellent body. Before I could react, Harloys even blushed while nudging her face over.

Her red and cute face was right before me, and her red lips went straight for mine. But in the end, Harloys tilted her head and pressed her red lips next to the corner of my mouth.

Before I could mourn my first kiss that I had preserved for several hundred years but was finally stolen away by my cat, something even more astonishing happened.

“Yep, it’s just as he says. We’ve already promised each other to be together for eternity. I’m sorry, little Amelia, you were too late. He’s already mine now. Um, could you please let go of my man? We’re out in public, you know. It’s quite unseemly to be fighting over a man like this.”

It was quite rare for Harloys to be acting serious like this. Her ancient Gold Elf form seemed quite authoritative, and the words she spoke made me wonder if my ears were working properly.

“What?”

Harloys’ statement made my chin hit the ground. However, Amelia seemed to expect this, as her smile became even brighter.

But judging from how a limitless number of vines suddenly grew and covered the entire castle wall, it was no joke to say that the brighter her smile, the greater her killing intent.

“As expected. From the very start, only you were the most dangerous, you thieving cat.”

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