The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

Translator: StarveCleric  Editor: StarveCleric

“Hey, brothers, don’t you feel like everyone’s gaze toward us has been a little weird recently?”

Tim was a Knight Captain of the Holy Church branch stationed at Sulfur Mountain City. Even though this was an Underground City filled with ‘evil’ dwellers, he still continued the good habit of patrolling regularly, even if he wasn’t responsible for the security of this city.

I must say, no matter how corrupted and depraved the upper echelons of the Holy Church was, those hardworking Holy Knights and Priests at the fundamental level who followed the teachings of the Holy Light when dealing with stuff, helping the weak and destroying ‘evil’ was the main reason why normal people approved of the teachings of Holy Light. This was also the main reason why the Holy Church was able to maintain its sphere of influence among many of the Human Kingdoms.

In the Surface World, the Holy Knights were extremely used to this kind of daily patrol. They would offer assistance to the citizens and if they meet with villains, they would unsheathe their swords to rid the evil. Of course, this was all for free…

However, in this unique city, the daily patrols of Tim and his comrades had caused much trouble from the very start and thus, their presence wasn’t really welcomed.

Even though the outcome of their kind gestures wasn’t good, Tim still felt proud of himself. After all, if they were to speak of their adventures, it could very possibly become a legendary story passed down among taverns.

For example, they attacked a Dark Elf who was scamming an old lady (Actually, the Town Security was escorting the old lady back home), crashing in on the Undead’s mysterious tribute ritual (The well-known skeleton dance team’s performance stage) and destroyed the evil Lich’s super-sized Bone Spirit Tower (The theme park’s Ferris Wheel. It took me so much trouble to build it. Of course, after the incident, I sent a giant fine to old Bill and it was said that these idiots are still cleaning the toilets for the entire team).

They even saved an innocent young woman who was being petrified by Medusa (The poor Medusa sculptor was scared out of his wits. He was repeatedly emphasizing that he was kidnapped by a bunch of lunatics who were praising Holy Light and was coerced into changing his sculpture into a human), and challenging an Ancient Red Dragon who was attacking the children. O Holy Light above, it actually intended to eat those little children…

The heavens above could serve as the witness. That day Little Red was only habitually giving into her maternal instincts and was playing ‘Heroes VS Evil Dragon’ with the children of the park. Then, a bunch of ‘old children’ couldn’t read the situation joined in… Fortunately, Little Red’s mood was quite good that day, that’s why old Bill could still dig out these metal-skinned cans from the sand pile in the park instead of conducting a ritual for the departure of souls…

Of course, they also had to pay the price. After all, the parents of those frightened kids weren’t easy to appease, especially when only their heads were protruding from the sand pile. After going through a relentless ‘assault’ from the parents, they spent many days before managing to clean away the smell of rotten eggs and tomatoes from their heads.

When they finally understood that they were no longer in the Human Kingdoms of the Surface, understood that the environment they were in was unique and that their actions were only causing panic and fright… Un, more importantly, with the hefty fines sent and the detentions they were subjected to, they had to learn to be more obedient.

At least, they knew that this city which followed the Law belonged to the Order Faction and that this city didn’t require their assistance in vanquishing evil. Finally, they stopped the action of shouting ‘O Holy Light, that evil villain is worthy of a fight’ and charged at a race of Chaos after catching sight of one.

Un, Tim already remembered that in this city, this wasn’t called ‘vanquishing evil’ but ‘inflicting intentional physical harm on others’ and it would result in jail time. The most ridiculous aspect of this city was that it actually prohibited duels that were filled with the spirit of the Knights. They labeled it as ‘premeditated murder’ and it was a heavy crime that called for a harsh punishment.

Of course, there were religious fanatics everywhere who just couldn’t learn to keep themselves in check. When it came down to it, the Sulfur Mountain City governor would protest and issue a document to have them sent back to the Surface.

Tim was considered the better of the lot. After committing a few mistakes, he started to nurture a habit of assessing the situation properly before drawing his sword. He also gradually got used to the presence of the ‘Claws of Chaos’ roaming the streets.

In reality, when he knew that the Dark Elf Town Security Knight army also believed in the Holy Light as well, he made a decision to pursue a non-human wife. After all, the Holy Light didn’t rule that the wife one married had to be a human. The few beautiful Priestesses in the Church always had hundreds of flies buzzing around them. He knew that there wasn’t much hope for him.

But very quickly, he gave up. He thought that a matrimony was possible since these female Dark Elves believed in the Holy Light. However, they still retained the traditional view of the Dark Elves. The Dark Elf society was a classical feminist society. In a traditional Dark Elf household, a husband was a phrase that is synonymous with slave…

However, what was weird was that despite knowing this, there were still a few diligent colleagues who normally didn’t bat an eyelid toward normal females actually tried even harder to pursue those female Dark Elves, especially that female Dark Elf Momo who used a whip…

Alright, the Tim who had vaguely guessed something took the initiative to pull apart his distance from these colleagues of his, who were getting weirder.

But after that chaotic fight, he felt that the situation changed once again. On previous days, the citizens were wary and guarded against him, but they were still to an extent, friendly. But nowadays, the wariness in their eyes disappeared and what could be sensed was sympathy and that weird way of calling.

“Leftover Knight!? If it is just that Beastman auntie who obviously can’t recognize words pronounce it wrongly then I can just ignore it, but why does even the boss of the flower shop and the waiter of the restaurant pronounce it wrongly. Recently, I will even somehow get discounts and benefits while dining. Walking on the street, there will even be people shouting behind me ‘don’t give up, tomorrow would be better!’.”

TL: (?, sheng) -> means [Holy] while (?, sheng) -> means [Remaining, left behind] Truthfully, for Chinese words, even with the same Hanyu Pinyin, they normally have different intonations to so that one can differentiate the words but these 2 words have the exact same Hanyu Pinyin and intonation so I have no idea how did he managed to hear the difference between the two.

“Hmph, it is just being called Leftover Knight a few times, there is nothing big about that. We are the ‘knights who are left behind’ anyway, so what is wrong with this nickname.”

Lucas was also sent here together with him. He is normally warm-hearted and often help people to fix water pipes and draw water, thus giving him the name of ‘Good-man Lucas’. Just that since 2 days ago, he would sit down in dormitory silently like an ice-cube. What was even weirder is when Tim decided to pull him out to patrol so that they could have a chat about what was bothering him.

But throughout the path, no matter what he says, Lucas remains silent and he would only stare at that withered lily in a daze. Now that he was finally willing to talk, it was a good thing!

“Lucas, exactly what happened to you? You have been acting weird these two days, everyone is worried about you.”

The concern of his comrade made Lucas’s frozen heart feel some warmth. After another moment of silence, he gives out a long sigh and begins describing what he met with 2 days ago.

“2 days ago, a female said she want to marry me.”

“Waaaaaaa. Isn’t that a good thing!! Then, why are you still so depressed.”

But very quickly, the tragic history of his comrades flashed through his mind, and many different kinds of tragedies reaches the tip of his mouth…

But seeing how Tim suddenly stopped talking, Lucas managed to guess what was running through his mind and shakes his head.

“The other party isn’t a fallen angel or demon who is trying to corrupt me. My position in the team is a mere average, not worthy of such treatment.”

“Then?”

“I’m not as unlucky as Fenk and Welon. What I met with isn’t a Beastman auntie that was above 40 years old or a cute little boy. She is very cute with an innocent oval face. She has a beautiful smile with skin like white jade. She is always prancing around and she gives everyone as lively feeling.”

“Then why are you still…?” Since her qualifications were so good, then why is Lucas still so depressed? Tim was unable to comprehend.

At this moment, Lucas’s face was full of reminiscence as he speaks softly.

“She carries a flower to me and says brother knight, don’t be sad. Little Xin will be your wife. That smile is just like the warm sun and that sweet voice, is as attractive as honey. But…”

In an instant, the clear skies turned cloudy and Lucas started crying.

“…She is only 9 years old! 9 years old!! She is still so young and I am not a beast!!”

Finding the root of the problem, Tim pats Lucas sympathetically. Just as he was about to say something, a smile creeps on Lucas’s face.

“However, she said that she was going to marry me when she grows up. Haha, she even says that when she grows to an adult, even if I am the Leftover Knight on the flyer, I should already have enough money to buy a house and a mount.”

In an instant, Tim found himself at a loss of words. After a long period of time, he squeezes out a word from his teeth.

“That… congratulations.”

“Urghhh!!” But then, the hint of glee on Lucas’s face disappears as he lowers his head to cry in agony while hugging the purple lily.

“Lucas, stop crying. What does 10 years count as. Look at me, I am almost 35 but I am still a bachelor. Even you wait 10 years, you would only be 37 years old. You will still be much better than the other brothers in our squad.”

“Urk, no… Not 10 years!!”

“Hm? Even if you wait a little longer than that, but we Leftover Knights can afford to wait!!” Reaching this point, Tim also understood the meaning of Leftover Knights and started to comprehend the meaning behind those weird gazes and sympathy.

But after hearing his consolation, Lucas cried even more miserably.

“I… I can’t wait until that day! Arrghh!!! It is not 10 years, it is… Is 200 years!! She is an Elf and need 200 years to become an adult!! That is to say, she thinks that it would take me 200 years to buy a house!! 200 years, when she finally becomes an adult, I would already become ashes!”

Hearing that, other than hugging this brother of his who became more hurt from his rare shot at love, what else can Tim do…

“Why don’t we go to Nanxiang and give it a try. From what I know, a lot of cities provide lodging for their Public Security members.”

——————–

Nanxiang’s recruitment for students was successful to a point of incredulity. Within 3 days, it had managed to pull away a third of the Church’s total personnel in Sulfur City. Afterwards, there are also many people who signed up…

The legal system in Chrome City was also in the midst of being built and in 2 months, after the first batch of short-term training class students graduate, we could invest them into Chrome City’s administrative and legal system.

Then, very quickly, the scattered page of the Origin of Codex could display it uses and start to collect the faith of the citizens towards law and fairness. Then, we could grant the Power of Law to personnel of the legal system and provide military might to the enforcers and the judgement. When this cycle happens, the recovery of the God Equipment Origin of Codex would be hastened.

When this city is taken under the wing of the legal system and its citizens accepts law as one of its beliefs, the Power of the Law in the whole world will grow stronger and would be able to grant even stronger power to its believers. Probably, the initial Holy Light also started growing like that.

When the belief in law starts to spread, hopefully, the views of humans towards other races would not just be limited to simply Chaos and Order and this change in views might be the starting point to harmony.

“Since wiping out an entire faction is impossible, then why not try sowing the seeds of communication and compromise. Now, in Sulfur Mountain City, even Holy Knights are learning to judge people based on their crimes and not their races. At least, this shows the that there is a chance for success.”

But, for now, I am able to look so far ahead and can only be stressed over the daily quest in front of me.

Now, the Evil Points that I have accumulated is 49 888, not too far away from the day of my revival. However, the few daily quests that have appeared are ‘Kill a hundred humans’, ‘Destroy a few Beastman family, leave not a single one remaining’ and such quests, which are not easy to play around with. This caused me to lose quite a few points. If I were to continue losing points like that, how can I revive?

“Daily quest: Create a nude running event that would catch the attention of the citizens. The more people who joins in the run, the more audiences there is, the more screams and shrieks there are, the greater the prize!”

I fell into deep thoughts. Due to the recent quests being too brutal, I had to give them all up. This quest that is in bad humor became my rain in the drought.

“Lord, perhaps we would require the help of others.”

After knowing what my quest is, Elisa said that.

I nodded my head and sent out my bat messenger…

“Old cow, I heard that you have been getting by well recently. I, Lich Roland, have something which I would like your help for. I heard that your relationship with the Wild Druid Alliance isn’t bad. The thing is that…”

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