The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

Translator: StarveCleric  Editor: StarveCleric

It was easy for those intruders, who have something wrong with their head, to die. After all, only 3 of them were left when they barely reached the entrance of my home. But, the difficult part of resolving the issue afterwards is on me.

Thanks to Elisa’s help, the sound of those ‘Safe’ goblin machinery’s explosions reached the heavens. Especially on such a silent night, even those from 3 streets away could hear it. Before, this was said to be a haunted house but now, its infamy is going to spread further.

Completely within my expectation, upon realizing that the location of the reported case is the living quarters of the ‘poisonous tumor’, the Town Security army immediately woke up all their sleeping sisters and sent an impressive formation of 30 elite Knights.

Led by a legend-rank Holy Knight, the formation consists of 30 Holy Knights of at least silver-rank… This is already sufficient to challenge a dragon. Are they here to save someone or making use of this opportunity to get rid of the ‘poisonous tumor’ who is affecting the city’s climate, it is obvious to see with one look.

“That Lich bastard, we always lack evidence to prosecute him. This time, Yawen will lead Team A to conduct the rescue mission while I will lead Team B to conduct the raid. Hehe, I don’t understand why the Hall of Enforcement is always siding with him but I don’t believe that the Lich don’t have a single banned good. If we succeed in the raid this time, as the captain, I will treat you all to drinks.”

“Ohhh, get rid of him! For our classic magazines in our storage room… that got exploded!”

“Hehe, let’s first tie him up and hang him in the sky. Then, spin him until he vomits and afterwards, send him flying straight to the wall with the Spirit Horse… Sisters, the time for revenge have come!!”

“For Momo’s little bear!”

“For my dowry! Knights, charge! Attack!”

From these passionate roars, it can be seen that someone did not neglect doing good deeds in his pastime… The depth of hatred isn’t normal.

The Lich with a loose screw may not have any major crimes but if we are talking about the mental turmoil the Town Security suffer from his pranks, even all of the criminals added up together don’t equal to a half of his.

If they manage to take him down this time, not only do they receive a bonus reward from the captain but they can also pay back him back for blowing up their base and all the different grudges from the past. Ever since they set off to apprehend the Lich, their morale was exceptionally high and they managed to run at speed surpassing that of riders.

When the Town Security finally arrived at the scene, they, unexpectedly, found their head, The Guard of Steel (Xueti) have already arrived. Furthermore, looking at the corpses on the floor, their faces turned pale white. Their grudge with the Lich went to the back of their mind.

“Dark Elves? Why?”

The corpses are that of their brethren. Looking at the Spider Silk Shadow Hat that boosts one’s movement speed in the shadow, the Cat’s Sneakers which reduces the sound of footsteps, a dagger and knife with a green glow on its edge, even if we do not consider their terrible reputation, the reason why they are here is obvious at a glance.

“It is the standard equipment for Venomous Spider Gang when on assassination missions. A 2nd job advanced Assassin requires the blessing of the Spider Queen. Only big families can afford to groom them.”

On the surface, just by being a Dark Elf can be considered a sin and even in the underground world, many places choose to capture the Dark Elves first before investigation and questioning. Furthermore, they normally aren’t wrong in their arrests. Of course, for demons and devils, you won’t go wrong burning them before investigation…

In this world, there are times when a race itself is seen as a representation of kindness or evil and the faction they belong to. In Sulfur Mountain City’s case, they are considered to be eccentric for using the ‘evil and chaotic’ Dark Elves as guards for the city.

If it is just her brethren committing crimes, Town Security captain Diana is already used to it, just punish them accordingly. But the shout from the back made her heart stop.

“It is Carlos from the 7th Family. He came with the Morsblight diplomatic team.”

“Morsblight City?” Just thinking about the name of her hometown, Diana flashes a bitter smile. As an outcast that worships Holy Light, she doesn’t have any good memories back in the territory of the Spider Queen. “…What should come will come. The Spider Queen never forgets her enemies and there isn’t the word ‘forgiveness’ in the dictionary of Dark Elves. It is impossible for them to just let us go.”

As Dark Elves, even though they converted their faith to believe in the Holy Light, they never forgotten those underhanded methods. That is also why, to criminals, the Sulfur Mountain City Dark Elf Knight squad was difficult to deal with.

Arunide was planning to get rid of these traitors of the Spider Queen but at the same time, the Dark Elf Knights were wary of these ‘diplomatic ambassadors’ from their hometown. At the very least, tabs from the spies on the doorstep of the hotel which the diplomatic team was residing in never stopped.

But obviously, they still underestimated these elites from their hometown. They managed to bypass the spies they sent out and in the worst-case scenario, the recent serial murder case was caused by them…

“Yo, isn’t this Captain Diana? Haven’t seen you in a while.”

As usual, this Lich was speaking nonsense. However, unlike usual days, the worried Diana didn’t have the mood to find trouble with him. She was apprehensive of what was going to happen during daybreak when news that there are casualties from the diplomatic team come to light. Would Morsblight City, which never takes an insult lying, blame this incident on her and her sisters?

Even if she neglects the response from hometown, the recent suspicious movements of the Dark Elves in the city have brought them great pressure and now that those Dark Elves that tried infiltrating the Lich’s living quarters are found dead at the scene, it is as good as them being caught in the act.

While she expected such a thing to happen, what she was truly worried was when the citizens discover that the true culprit behind the serial murderer case recently was Dark Elves, then based on her understanding of her brethren, it would be harder for them to gather evidence.

If they are unable to resolve the case swiftly, the name of the Town Security might take a blow. After all, before this incident, there were already a few big merchants murdered and being unable to solve these cases, they were subjected to quite a bit of pressure by the populace.

“Diana, your luck isn’t bad this time. Looks like the case of the murder of the merchants can be concluded.”

“Concluded? That consecutive killings directed towards merchants?” Hearing that, the Dark Elf Knights shakes violently, their faces full of surprise and disbelief

“There is evidence!?”

Diana found it difficult to believe in. Even though they suspected that the murderer is those fellows from the diplomatic team, but Dark Elves rarely leave concrete evidence behind. Furthermore, as a law enforcer of Sulfur Mountain City, they cannot lay their hands on suspects without evidence, especially towards ambassadors, thus they were severely limited to simply surveillance.

“Yeah, this fellow actually brought the hit list with him. This time, we have concrete evidence. We can take this chance to send a letter of protest to Morsblight City.”

At this instant, the solemn large block of metal was extremely overjoyed, a rarely seen sight. Well, I guess that is to be expected. As the Head of the Hall of Enforcement, being unable to resolve the case of the serial murders, the pressure he feels is probably even greater than mine.

“Right, are the Beyar brothers are still under custody?”

“Hm? Beyar?”

“That pair of explosive-obsessed maniacs.”

“Oh, that pair of green-skinned ticking time bomb. To save money, they actually chose to use RDX (a type of highly volatile explosive used for blowing up mountains) as the power source of the machinery. It was impossible for that thing to not explode. They are still insisting that they are innocent, that it is a secret recipe passed down by their ancestors and definitely safe. They are unwilling to pay bail and fine, so we are currently collecting evidence to launch a complaint, sue them for the creation of dangerous and inferior good. But, we still can’t find any evidence because all their products that exploded…”

“There is evidence now! Look at these Dark Elves and those broken machinery pieces, don’t you find that their cause of death is quite familiar?”

“Xueti, despite looking so honest on the outside, you sell your friends without a hint of hesitation.” Hearing that Tauren law enforcer talking excitedly, I couldn’t help but draw a cross for the Beyar brothers in my heart and pray for them. Then, without hesitation, I joined the betrayer club…

“Lord, it is all the fault of those greedy goblins. Just a while ago, my maid went to the Safe Goblin Machinations to purchase some furniture. But, all the furniture we bought end up exploding. Fortunately, those kind-hearted people over there helped me to avoid a tragedy. Otherwise, the one dead one would definitely be me. Lord, you must redress my grievances!”

“Dark Elves are good-hearted people? Isn’t Liches already dead? Can they die again? Besides, it would be weird if a walking trouble like you can die.” Looking at how the corner of the eyes of these two law enforcers keep twitching, I can roughly guess what they are thinking.

At least, their gaze speaks of ‘Do you really take us for idiots or are you an idiot yourself’. Their lack of trust makes me unhappy, especially when I am restricted by the God Equipment Curse to be unable to lie… I really don’t know about it; those Dark Elves really did help me ward off a calamity.

Hey hey, if you don’t start showing some trust, you better be careful of my complaints. I will secretly make your life difficult and send you all to the sulfur mine as watch guards!

“Cough cough, the destructive ability of the Beyar brothers’ machinations shouldn’t be that great though?” Finally recalling that such a gaze is rude, Diana turns her glance elsewhere and diverts the topic.

Seeing the presence of her superior here, she understands that her plan to land the Lich in trouble has gone down the drain. However, she has once personally tried the might of the explosives and it was highly improbable for the elites of Morsblight City to die to such unplanned small-scale explosions.

It’s this.” Xueti retrieves a silver fragment from the corpse’s wounds.

“High purity Holy Silver Beads. It seems that it has been embedded in the engine if the machinations such that once it explodes, the explosion provides kinetic energy to the beads, allowing it work like the rifles of the Dwarf. The true murder weapon is these fragments.”

Looking at these Holy Silver fragments, my mouth began to twitch. “Elisa… You really planned everything out well.”

“Looks like it really isn’t your handicraft. Did you offend the Beyar brothers for them to plan to murder you?”

This time, I don’t have to explain myself further, all the suspicions are washed off. Holy Silver, a sacred object that was blessed by the Order gods, is deadly to Demons and Undead. Simply coming into contact with it can cause me devastating burns, and the damage goes straight to the soul. There was no way I could use it.

“Did I deserve this? To go this far.” I recall a memory a while ago, one where Elisa’s hands were bandaged. She was never one so concerned with chores, it must be to install up these Holy Silver fragments. Even for a half-demon, touching these things must have been excruciating.

“To avoid dying for no apparent reason, I better pay two years of her wages first…”

“Boom!!” Out of the blue, there were consecutive explosions and a large figure rushed out.

“Stop him!”

“Who is that?”

“AHHHHHHHHHH!”

How can they allow suspicious figures to get away at this point? The Town Security went up and surrounded the figure, but the response they got was a ferocious battle cry of a Beastman.

With a flash of silver, his gigantic blade slashes in all directions like a dancing dragon. With disbelief in everyone’s eyes, the elite weapons wielded by everyone instantly broke.

“How is this possible! Ah!”

“Be careful, there is something wrong with his weapon! Don’t go head on with him!”

“Kua kua kua!” A crisp reverberation sounds. Under the large blade, the thick armor of the Town Security was cut through like thin paper. Wherever the shadow of the blade appears, cries of agony could be heard and blood splatters everywhere!

Making use of the momentum, the frenzied Beastman dashes out of the heavy encirclement.

“Voke, how could this be?!”

It was no wonder that Diana was able to recognize this red-eyed half-Beastman. In order to catch this brutal and cunning criminal then, the Town Security put in a lot of effort before succeeding.

“That can’t be, how can he be so powerful.”

Half-Elf Half-Beastman, a Bronze-rank Assassin. Even with his both eyes-red and his swollen muscles, as though as he went into a Berserker state exclusive to Beastman and Barbarians, but as a bronze-rank fighter, it was incredible that he was able to bash through a bunch of Knights of silver-rank and above.

“It is that blade! There’s something wrong with that blade, don’t touch it!”

The crowd quickly understood what was wrong. Even though everyone’s weapons were quite bad, but in front of that giant blade with a dragon tattoo, it was just a matter of one or two slashes before it is cut into two.

“Make way!!”

A good weapon allows one to challenge another surpassing their rank, but the one here now is Diana. Not only is the difference in abilities great between the two, the sacred sword Silver Avenger was also an epic blade that isn’t inferior to the Dragon Saber.

“Clang!”

The sword and the blade cross edges, but the unlucky Silver Avengers was directly cut into two. Cracks also started appearing on Voke’s blade from the impact and for a moment, Voke was defenseless. Diana sent him flying away with a fierce kick.

Diana’s usage of force was skillful so as to keep him alive for questioning. However, Voke was first tortured cruelly, next all of his energy was sapped from the Frenzy, then he was controlled by his sword before a legend-rank Knight finally sent a kick to his chest. After vomiting two mouthfuls of blood on the ground, he died instantly.

When the Holy Knights finally found something amiss with the situation and decided to use the once-a-day usage of Holy Treatment to save him, Voke was already without a pulse.

“I need an explanation!! Why is Voke, who should be at the Sulfur Mountain City’s prison, here and why did the Dark Elf Assassins infiltrate this place!”

Saying that, she points the remaining half of her silver short sword at me. Looks like if she won’t simply let this slide if she doesn’t get her answer today.

But I simply smiled… Everything was just as I expected, the fish is onto the bait.

After a mutual glance with Xueti, I remained silent. In the end, he stood up.

“It is like that. Actually, Roland and the legal system have some secret dealings. He is an expert in souls and an interrogation techniques master. If we meet a stubborn prisoner, we would ask him for a favor…”

These explanations are actually the truth. At least, it is the truth that Xueti knows. Diana was already vaguely suspicious of how the legal system was too lenient on the Lich in front of her. It was weird that when she was chasing him that Lord Wumianzhe appeared and weird that the Head of the Hall of Enforcement in here as well.

“Yeah, we are all one family.” I can’t lie, so this sentence is definitely the truth. In reality, I am saying that I am Wumianzhe but in the eyes of the Holy Knights, they think that I am confessing to the dealings with the legal system. In this instant, Diana reacted just as I anticipated, a look of realization.

“Hmph, no matter who’s behind you, don’t let me catch you committing crimes! Otherwise, no one can save you! Retreat!”

Before leaving, she threatens me menacingly in the presence of her superior. She really is the ideal example of a dumb Knight, so innocent, so easy to make use of!

Just as I was laughing at them while watching them taking the body along their team, I hear a familiar voice just beside my ear.

“The confession we just got out of Voke has been ascertained by the experimental subject known as Arunide. I have already copied 2 reports and sent it to Margaret and Lord Adam through the secret channel. However, my Lord, wasting so much effort for just a show and even exposing your relationship with the legal system on the surface, is it worth it?”

“Of course, it is worth it. To say the truth, I underestimated the psychotic killer. To think he had such an important secret in his hands. In order to calm down those who are on the verge of taking action, Voke has to die and it must be in front of everyone else. This way, as long as the experimental subject really escapes, the rumor of the diplomatic ambassadors escaping in the middle of the night will look authentic as well. After that, as long as our experimental subject reports the false news obediently, I doubt that they would suspect that their intelligence have been leaked.”

“You played out such a show just to numb those fellows? Even paying an epic weapon in the midst?”

“That Dragon Saber? That is a useless good, the 1% chance of Frenzy actually increases by 1% every second, which means that after 2 minutes, one would recognize no kin. It would be better to just give it out. Besides, I remember that there is someone in the Town Security who can use that saber, and aren’t the Town Security my arms? Their strength is as good as my strength.”

“… Why do I feel that you are just cherishing them and protecting them by making the clues which they are investigating stop in their track so that they don’t get involved and end up getting killed as a pawn.”

TL: Cherishing -> The phrase the author used is directed towards women and means that you sort of cherish them greatly that you don’t want anything to befall them.

“Hah, such wild imagination.” I laughed and looked up to the sky.

“That isn’t the case. This incident involves the other underground city lords, the Malevolent Elemental God and that bunch of bastard traitors. The Town Security have great fighting prowess but some things just require one to use their brains. They don’t have good political skills so if they get involved, they won’t even fit being cannon fodder. It was difficult to create a Holy Light Knight Squad so to waste them just like that is a waste. I still intend to get them to do a few more years of hard work after all.

While saying that, I started getting excited.

“An ancient Malevolent God and an Underground Autarch. Looks like there’s finally an enemy worthy of me going all out. Hehe, maybe this is the sign that a new age is about to come.”

TL: Autarch = someone who has absolute power

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