Red Envelope Group of the Three Realms

Panda Novel

“What the hell! I was right!” Chen Xiaobei hissed. “Only a lowlife, evil, son of a bitch like Shen Gongpao could think of coming up with shady rules like that!” Chen Xiaobei said. “Although I have a lot of ladies back on earth, I’m just a singleton in the group! Shen Gongpao must have up with this rule to stop me from getting any red envelopes! F*ck! Now I’m really pissed…”

While Chen Xiaobei was throwing a fit, the chat group was stirring with chatter.

Bull Demon King: There’s a flaw with this rule! I have two wives! Does that mean that the three of us get to snatch Red Envelopes?

Silver Jade Fox: I don’t want to be the little mistress!

Princess Iron Fan: You little vixen! Do you want to get punched in the face?

Bull Demon King: My wives, please calm down! Can both of you please make peace for the moment for the sake of the Red Envelopes?

Silver Jade Fox: Alright. For the red Envelopes… I will be the mistress temporarily ….

Princess Iron Fan: Rubbish of a cow! After the snatching session, you’d better get your ass back here and kneel on burning crystals!

Bull Demon King: See? I have two wives? How does it work? @Zhiniu?

Zhinu: I’m not so sure… I have to ask God Shen… @Shengongpao

Shen Gongpao: All three of you can join the snatching session! Qixi Festival, Valentine’s day – as long as you’re lovers, you can join the session!

Wei Xiaobao: Woohoo! I have eight wives! Isn’t that awesome?

Shen Gongpao: That’s right! You and your wife… wives can all participate! Only single people are not allowed to grab Red Envelopes!

Zhu Bajie: That is not fair! I’ve been single for 10,000 years. I want to die.

Shen Gongpao: How is this not fair? Today’s theme is Valentine’s day! If everyone gets to snatch envelopes, some of the couples may not get anything while the singletons get a lot. That would be going against the theme!

Zhu Bajie: This… seems to make some sense…

Shen Gongpao: Of course! I have always been even-handed, fair-minded and transparent. I am also single and I will set the example and not snatch any Red Envelopes! I want to give the chance to loving couples!

“Pfft! Please! You’re just dressing up the lie!” Chen Xiaobei spat. “You? Shen Gongpao? Even-handed? Fair-minded? There’s no one more despicable and shameless than you! This is all obviously to mess with me but you made up some elaborate and noble reason to cover up the truth! How much more hypocritical can you be?!”

Shen Gongpao: What a happy occasion today is! Where is my shidi Xiaobei? @Chenxiaobei

Chen Xiaobei: When did you start being so concerned for me, shixiong Shen?

Shen Gongpao: I saw what you just said! I pay the utmost attention to your every move! There’s no one else in this group that I care more about than you!

Chen Xiaobei: What have you been concerned over?

Shen Gongpao: From what I know, ever since the Three Realms Red Envelope Group was set up, you have been the ‘King of Luck’ during practically every Red Envelope Snatching Session! How unfortunate… that you cannot join this time! ?

Chen Xiaobei: So, what if I cannot join? Who cares?

Shen Gongpao: Bitter! How bitter! If I did not guess wrongly, you’re probably so angry you’re jumping on your feet and cursing your mother, right?

Chen Xiaobei: Heh, I already have enough trump cards. Not joining this Red Envelope Snatching Session won’t affect me at all. You guys enjoy yourselves.

Shen Gongpao: Hahaha… Who knew that the almighty God Chen would run away, crestfallen!

Chen Xiaobei: Am I running away? I just don’t want to waste my breath with you!

Shen Gongpao: You really won’t shed a tear until you see the coffin, would you? Don’t think that I didn’t know that you needed to get Earth-God materials by today or your mission tomorrow will fail!

Chen Xiaobei: You set me up! ?

Shen Gongpao: How is this setting you up? This is called being concerned! ?

“F*ck! This degenerate Shen Gongpao! He’s really not holding back at all! He’s been dormant ever since the King of Glory competition. Apparently, he’s just been waiting to put one over me!”

Chen Xiaobei began to panic. “If I can’t get the Earth-God materials tonight, I will be eliminated tomorrow morning! Puti will be married to someone else, and the fate of the nine zones will be out of my control! My agreement with Lady Nuwo will be affected too! Saint Duke Starfield might be destroyed and Puti might do something stupid. Little Fox and Bai Linsu might be in danger too! I can’t split myself up to take care of everything! The radiation would expand and affect even more people!”

Chen Xiaobei quickly assessed the situation, and was immediately anxious. “Shen Gongpao using his leverage to knock me down is just too cruel! I have a think of a way to overcome this problem or this’ll end real bad!”

Shen Gongpao: @Chenxiaobei, what happened? Are you scared? Conceding? Fleeing? Hahaha…

Shen Gongpao: @Chenxiaobei, if I were you, I really would not be in the mood to chat! From tomorrow onwards, you will be picking up after an awful lot of mess!

Shen Gongpao: @Chenxiaobei, I wish you the best of luck! Hahaha…

The three consecutive @ tags, and every word Shen Gongpao used, even every punctuation mark was laden with sarcastic mockery.

Unquestionably, after the many fights between Shen Gongpao and Chen Xiaobei, Shen Gongpao had had enough. This time, he used the advantage of his position and power to ambush Chen Xiaobei, catching him off-guard.

This time, Shen Gongpao believed that he had truly won this feud, and he won big time!

Not only did he beat Chen Xiaobei, but he was also going to cause Chen Xiaobei’s downfall!

The acquisition of the 100 jin Earth-God materials was like the trigger in a ticking bomb. If not solved, it would cause a series of catastrophic explosions.

Chen Xiaobei and his friends and family would suffer cuts and bruises all over, or even die a horrible death.

To be frank, in the face of a situation like this, Chen Xiaobei did not know how to resolve it.

Chen Xiaobei did not retort Shen Gongpao’s conceited provocation and joshing was not because he couldn’t think of anything to say but rather, with the truth laid before him, no matter how well he retaliated, it would be a waste of effort. A completely meaningless endeavor.

Chen Xiaobei felt a deep sense of helplessness dawn on him.

He had always been able to solve any situation thrown his way. He would never have thought that his entire reputation would be destroyed because of a small, insignificant Qixi Festival.

Shen Gongpao: Alright! The people who should leave have already left, and the rules have been clarified! Next, let’s all begin an exciting Red Envelope Snatching Session…

Goddess Chang’e: Wait!

Shen Gongpao: Huh? Chang’e! What are you doing? Why did you cut me off?!

Goddess Chang’e: @Chenxiaobei! Brother Xiaobei! Since the situation has already turned out like this – you should just tell the truth!

Chen Xiaobei: What… What truth…?