Otherworldly Evil Monarch

Panda Novel

The old madam agreed very quickly and straightforwardly. “We’re not too sure what that thing is anyway. In any case, we got it coincidentally, and it only seems to nourish the human body; apart from that, there doesn’t seem to be anything special about it. It’s useless for training and cannot raise one’s cultivation. It only so happened to be useful for maintaining your mother’s lifeforce. If it wasn’t of use to your mother, we would have already dumped it a long time ago… If you want it, take it, if you see anything else you like here, take a few more with you…”

Jun Mo Xie rolled his eyes speechlessly. With a single look, it would be obvious that the little tree was a heavenly treasure, yet the old madam said that she nearly threw it away… Although he knew that she only said that to make him feel less guilty about taking the tree away, he still felt some indignation for the little tree… That was because he could tell that the old madam really did not care much for the little tree—that much was impossible to fake.

Actually, not to mention the old grandma, even Jun Mo Xie had no idea what this little tree was… But although he didn’t recognize it, he was sure of one thing. Something that the Hongjun Pagoda approved of was definitely something good and rarely seen on Earth! This was something that definitely would not be wrong!

The Dongfang Third Master sat together with his wives and children, smiling smugly. Dongfang Wen Qing and Dongfang Wen Jian looked at him enviously… while the numerous wives around them looked away depressedly…

When women reached a certain age, how could they endure their inner maternal instinct when they saw other people playing with their children?

After settling several of the heavy matters in his mind, Jun Mo Xie was in an extremely jovial mood today. Seeing his uncles nearby, he sidled up slyly and asked, “First Uncle, what’s wrong? There’s so many aunts here, but you haven’t managed to pop out any cute cousins for me to play with? Isn’t that too much of a waste?”

“You think I don’t want to make any? Your grandma hasn’t stopped nagging me over this matter!” Dongfang Wen Qing glared at him huffily, “All these women are too disappointing, what can I do?”

Jun Mo Xie rolled his eyes at this. If one or two wives failed to live up to expectations, that was still possible. But if one wanted to say that… all 59 wives are unable to bear children… Then Dongfang Wen Qing’s luck was a little too terrifying! With this kind of probability, he could go and buy the lottery directly… and he would strike the first prize every single time!

Why won’t you say that the problem lies with you?

Jun Mo Xie snorted in disdain. With a squint of his eyes, he leaned closer to his first uncle’s ears. “I actually have a little bit of knowledge in this area… my Third Uncle Jun’s leg was cured by me, so if First Uncle is willing to trust me, I dare to guarantee that next year this time, you’ll be hugging a cute baby, or even several cute babies…”

“Really?” Dongfang Wen Qing sat up straight and looked at Jun Mo Xie, his eyes as wide as a pair of lanterns. His breath grew somewhat heavy as he grabbed his nephew’s hand, “You’re not lying to me right?”

The people around him jumped lightly in shock at this sight. F*ck! What’s this First Master doing?

“How would I lie to you? This is absolutely true!” Jun Mo Xie smiled mysteriously, “Actually, I could tell with a single glance that it’s not just you; Second Uncle actually has the same problem right?”

Dongfang Wen Qing’s face grew slightly red as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat, “Ai… don’t mention it, it’s truly a great misfortune in our family…”

“So it turns out that you all weren’t well controlled in your youth ah…” Jun Mo Xie sighed pretentiously, and his tone grew heavier, “Loose years in one’s youth often lead to a lifetime of bitterness… This saying is the same for both men and women. Although people often say that one would have wasted their youth if they didn’t indulge themselves, but everything should have a limit…” These words were spoken by Dongfang Wen Qing to Jun Mo Xie back in Tian Nan, but today, their roles had been reversed…

“Damn brat, do you believe that I won’t give you a beating!” Dongfang Wen Qing roared angrily. At the same time, he stared at the people who were pricking their ears to listen in, scaring them away.

“Alright, I’ll help you take a detailed look now.” Jun Mo Xie grabbed Dongfang Wen Qing’s hand and infused a wisp of Heaven Earth Spiritual Qi. Afterward, he sent the pure vitality energy of the power of wood once around his meridians before putting his hands down and solemnly taking out a small jade bottle, “Eat one pill in this bottle everyday for half a month—in this half a month, there must be no bedroom activity. Half a month later… kekeke…”

Jun Mo Xie revealed a smile that only men knew. But before he could finish up the look with a wink, the jade bottle was snatched away by Dongfang Wen Qing and he was rapped smartly across the forehead. A loud, crisp sound rang out and Dongfang Wen Qing roared. “What are you thinking about at such a young age? Harboring all kinds of indecent thoughts and yet able to talk about it with such relish! Looks like your fame as the number one debauchee in the capital is not undeserved! I’m going to tell your mother and ask her to give you a good lesson!”

His other hand was like a raccoon that stole a chicken’s egg, stuffing the jade bottle into his sleeves with a speed akin to lightning…

His voice was loud, and over a hundred heads turned around, while 200 over eyes landed onto Jun Mo Xie’s figure. Their eyes all carried a great curiosity, as if they wanted know just what it was that this little fellow said to make the First Master lecture him like that!

From the looks of it, it must be an exceptionally indecent thing! Otherwise, why would the First Master scold him so loudly in public?

Jun Mo Xie felt extremely incredulous in that moment. This was the first time he’d ever seen such an unappreciative and shameless person! I approached you with good intentions to resolve a huge difficulty in your life, but not only do I not get a word of thanks, in order to cover up your own awkwardness, you pushed me to the front of the stage?

If this can be endured, what else cannot be endured? How unbearable!

Since it’s too intolerable, then there’s no need to endure anymore!

Jun Mo Xie’s eyes gleamed darkly and he continued in an even more mysterious voice, “First Uncle ah, if you compliment the pill taking with some movements and chants, it’ll be perfect; perhaps the next time I come here, your children would have formed into a football team…”

“There are still specific movement and chants to do?” Dongfang Wen Qing’s expression stiffened. He was still feeling glad a moment ago that not only had he finally managed to make this little brat suffer a little, he’d even managed to retain his face successfully. Most importantly, he even managed to gain such a good thing… but who would have thought that before he could even blink, he was immediately splashed with a bucketful of cold water. He’d just pranked the little fellow, and with the vengeful character of Jun Mo Xie, how could he let himself off? In that moment, he could not help but to be wary, “What conditions do you have? State them clearly!”

“Conditions?” Jun Mo Xie shook his head innocently, “Could it be that I would have any conditions for an elder? Since you think of me as a base person, I won’t bother you with my words! You’ve hurt me too deeply and saddened my heart… I saw your plight and out of pity and the kindness of my heart, I wanted to help you with your erec—…”

“I was wrong! It was this uncle’s fault, this uncle was wrong…” Dongfang Wen Qing hurriedly covered Jun Mo Xie’s mouth with his large hands, apologizing profusely, “Good niece ah, just what movements and chants is it? Hurry up and tell your uncle!”

“Alright, who asked you to be my uncle… since we’re all family, I’ll tell you.” Jun Mo Xie sighed helplessly, as though he’d been wronged greatly.

“What a good child! Uncle thanks you in advance!” Dongfang Wen Qing smiled gleefully.

Jun Mo Xie covered his mouth with a hand and cupped it to his uncle’s ear as he lowered his voice as much as possible, until it was nearly indiscernible. “This movement… needs… in the air… en… it might be a little tiring, but you must endure ah… yes, hang upside down… yes, yes…”

Dongfang Wen Qing nodded repeatedly, and his brows were knitted solemnly as he tried his best to memorize every word, deathly afraid that missing a single word would spoil everything.

“As for the chant… listen well, remember carefully… it must be done with the movements, yes yes, it goes like this… One two three four, two two three four, Yin Yang harmony, Qian Kun nothingness; change a posture, and then repeat…” Jun Mo Xie taught with a serious face. Dongfang Wen Qing memorized with all his might, until sweat appeared on his brows…

My age is high, and my memory is not very good ah… luckily it’s not very long, and it’s quite catchy as well…

Jun Mo Xie finished reciting and Dongfang Wen Qing’s brows were still tightly knitted together as he mumbled to himself. Jun Mo Xie smiled lightly and asked, “Have you memorized it?”

Dongfang Wen Qing stood up with the same serious look and did not say a word as he hurriedly walked out towards the study room. Looks like, a good memory is still no match for the good ol’ ink and paper. Although he’d memorized it, there was still a possibility of him forgetting. It was more reliable to just write everything down…

“Eh? Mo Xie, where did your first uncle go?” Dongfang Wen Jian sat down and asked suspiciously.

“Oh… he probably had a little too much to drink, and went to the latrine…” Jun Mo Xie chuckled. After resolving his First Uncle’s problem, it was Dongfang Wen Jian’s turn. Dongfang Wen Jian was much more honest, directly offering his thanks after receiving the pills. Jun Mo Xie naturally also did not pass him any nonsensical “paired movement sets and chants”…

From this, one could see that it was better for people to be more honest!

I’ll see if you dare to make me look bad again!

Although you’re my uncle, when it’s time to teach you a lesson, there’ll still be no mercy…

Jun Mo Xie laughed madly in his heart while his shoulders trembled lightly. Following that, he directly clutched his stomach and laughed aloud in a crazed manner.

Pa!

A chicken bone suddenly flew across the table, smacking firmly against his head, causing Jun Mo Xie to raise his head with shock. Dongfang Old Grandma’s face was entirely red as she looked at him angrily, cursing aloud. “Little rascal! What are you laughing to yourself about!”

“Hm… nothing…” Jun Mo Xie rubbed his head in an aggrieved manner and sat back down.

The old grandma looked at him coldly and suddenly with a loud Pu sound, the mouthful of wine in her mouth spurted out, and she coughed violently. Her entire face had gone red, and she scolded both angrily and helplessly. “You little brat, you’re too mischievous…”

It seems like the old grandma had heard everything…

Actually, only two people had heard the entirety of his shenanigans. Mei Xue Yan and the old grandma. The two’s cultivation was the highest, but Mei Xue Yan was an innocent virgin,and didn’t understand the meaning behind his words. But the old grandma was an experienced woman… cough cough…

Hehe…

Jun Mo Xie scratched his head and smiled sheepishly before lowering his head hurriedly to eat. In that moment, he looked exceptionally obedient.

“Mother, what’s wrong?” Dongfang Wen Xin looked at her mother with confusion. She had been sitting right beside her and had been sprayed with a mouthful of wine…

“That rascal of a boy! You need to educate him properly! After you all return, remember to watch him closer; this brat is too mischievous! When it’s time to beat him, do not spare the rod! Beat him with all your might, the boy can handle it!” The old grandma took a deep breath and stabilized herself. However, she still seemed a little out of breath.

She had indeed heard those words… but that kind of matter… there’s no way to chide him… How was she supposed to scold the boy about this kind of matter?

This grandson of hers was indeed a little too overboard…

“Mo Xie is so obedient, how is he naughty?” Dongfang Wen Xin pouted lightly and continued with some heartache. “I’m not willing to beat the child… I still remember that when he was mischievous as a kid, I slapped him on the buttocks once. Because of that, I cried for a few days with heartache…”

Hearing this, the old grandma directly rolled her eyes and fell speechless.

This matter… until a long time in the future… on a certain day…

Dongfang Wen Jian saw his elder brother in the garden facing the rising sun and twisting his waist left and right in an exaggerated manner. Perplexed, he walked over and asked, “Big brother, what are you doing?”

“I’m training my hip strength!” Dongfang Wen Qing did not even lift his head and said. “Little brother, how many have you impregnated on your side?” These two brothers were practically fellow sufferers; brothers in the same boat. There was naturally nothing that they wouldn’t talk about with each other.

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