How to Raise Your Regressor

"So, tell me, Lecia. What is your worth?"

Of course, some idealistic assholes (or twitter warriors who have nothing better to do) might argue that life is so precious that it's worth cannot be measured by our mortal, materialistic standards.

But that's not how the real-world works, champ. Here, everyone is being constantly evaluated on how beneficial their existence is to others. That's how their worth is decided.

Someone who is completely useless to others is usually thrown away, cast aside like the wrapper of a chocolate.

They might get picked up by a philanthropist later, but the chances of that happening are so low that I wouldn't count on that.

Of course, as a nihilist, I firmly believe that all life is equally worthless, but we are not here to discuss my beliefs.

We are here to finesse some motherfuckers.

"That is…" Lecia stumbled on her words.

"Go on. Are you, in any way, valuable to our Guild?"

She's obviously not, but hey, let's give her a chance.

"…" She clenched her fists, grit her teeth and looked down.

As expected, she had no answer to my question.

Huh, even arguing with her is no fun, which makes sense in hindsight because Lecia is nothing more than a 13-year-old dumb child.

Tristan, I miss you.

Hmm, or maybe not.

He was a really confused wanker. I wouldn't be surprised if he got confused about the very act of breathing and died as a result.

He did make some witty comments during our debate, but he still left much to desire.

He still was better than Lecia though.

"Right, you have none," I scoffed for an added effect. "So, tell me, how long should the New Dawn Guild protect you? And how far should we go to do so? If such a situation arrives, should we, say, sacrifice someone extremely valuable to save you, a girl who is absolutely useless to us?"

"You are going too far, Samur," this time, it was Neia who stopped me.

About time.

"Perhaps, but it's the truth, isn't it?"

"It's not. People's worth cannot be determined based on how useful they are to you. It's wrong," Azell replied in her stead.

Right, I forgot that Azell is also a twitter warrior.

"It might be wrong, I admit, but that still doesn't stop the world from using it as a metric. They use it all the time, in fact. For example, let's say two people apply to join your Guild, but you only have one vacancy. Who will you choose in that case? The one who's more useful to the Guild."

Unless he's a stupid idiot who'd chose someone completely useless just because he didn't like the hair colour of the useful one.

I wouldn't put it past him, to be honest. Like, he is the same guy who invited a cursed, suicidal 12-year-old dodgy boy he just met in a forest (aka moi) without knowing what the latter was capable of.

Huh, perhaps Azell is not the best Guild Leader out there.

F for our New Dawn Guild. We are probably going to die a stupid yet excruciating death in a shitty dungeon because Azell overestimated himself.

I really hope that happens.

"That… is different," Azell, the not-the-best-Guild-Leader, replied.

Also, that slight hesitation will be his downfall. Look, even Lecia noticed it.

"The application might be different, but the underlying principle is the same; we judge people by their expediency all the time. Now, don't get me wrong. There's nothing wrong about that. It's just human nature to prioritise those who are more beneficial to their existence. I mean, you wouldn't pick a wooden twig over a mythical class sword, would you?"

He would have to be the dumbest motherfucker imaginable to actually do that; it will put him on the same level as Lecia.

Huh, then together, they could be the dumbest couple.

Yikes.

Of course, there are actual wooden twigs that are way more precious than a fucking mythical class sword, but let's ignore that fact because it's against our agenda.

"Perhaps," Azell nodded. "But Lecia is different."

Oh my. The white knight is here to save the Princess.

"How so?"

"She has the potential to be something much more."

Is he pulling bullshit out of his ass to defend Lecia, or is that his Regressor knowledge talking?

Whatever, who cares.

"But that's just her potential. It's absolutely meaningless until it blossoms into something useful."

What latent talent could be sleeping in Lecia's depths, though?

Not the God class skill to choke anyone she desires, I hope.

"Don't worry. It will," Azell replied with confidence.

"But when? Imma keep it real with you, if you expect it to manifest by itself into some kind of batshit crazy skill or ability when the time is right, you might as well just prepare yourself to protect Lecia for the rest of your life."

If it was possible for her talent to come out that way, she wouldn't have begged me to save her.

"…"

Oh my fucking God, don't tell me that's exactly what Azell was thinking.

Fuck.

"Jesus, you are hopeless," I couldn't help but sigh. "Look, everyone has an intrinsic responsibility for their own life, no matter who they are," I said to Lecia.

"What kind of responsibility?" She asked, her tone half exasperated, half curious.

Wut.

"A responsibility for their own life, as I just said. No matter how strong or weak they are, they ARE responsible for their own life. Yet you forsook that responsibility because you believed that we would look after you for the rest of your life. And we did promise something like that. But how can you be sure that we will be able to uphold our promise?"

"Huh?" Her eyes widened.

"Let's say that the Organisation comes for you again, and this time, you are not able to use the ring to send out an SOS. So, while you are in the process of being kidnapped and being shipped off to another country, we would just be sitting at the Guildhouse, unaware that something bad is happening to you. We won't be there to save you."

"Ah…" Lecia gasped, as she had never thought about that.

"Let's say that we find out about it later- I mean, we obviously will because you won't be coming back- and set out to rescue you. But we are neither omniscient nor omnipresent, so it will take some time. Just imagine the things the Organisation could do to you until we release you from their clutches."

"No.." her eyes trembled as she imagined the horrible things they would subject her to.

"Let's take another example. Tomorrow morning, you wake up and head downstairs to the dining hall. However, on your way down the stairs, you slip, fall down and crack open your skull. You would be dead if that happened, and we won't be able to save you."

Not to mention the cleaning… ugh! Wiping out her brain matter and blood from the carpet would be a huge pain in the ass.

I would probably burn the carpet down and get a new one.

"W-what? Isn't that-"

"An extreme example? Yes. But can it actually happen to you? Absolutely. That's how one of our maids died."

Well, I dunno about this life because I don't have the memories, but I sure have seen a lot of maids dying by falling down the stairs.

It's almost suspicious at this point. I wouldn't be surprised if the God of Maids punished them for some really stupid shit.

"Really?" She frowned.

"Yup. She was a very good child. Her family was poor so she had to work really hard at such a young age so that her little brothers wouldn't go to bed hungry. But even though she had such a rough life, she always persisted, all in the hope that her hard work would pay off… It was truly a shame that she died the way she did."

And this was not me making bullshit up (surprising, I know), but the life story of an actual maid that died in one of my previous lives.

Her father was an absolute piece of shit who drank all day, while her mother had left them a long time ago. She was the sole breadwinner of her family, so when she died, we compensated her family and helped her father get a job.

I remember checking up on her little brothers sometime after her death, only to find that the children were starving. The father had quit his job and spent all the money that we had given him on booze and prostitutes (who would have expected that).

I sent the children to my estate to get them cared for while I waited for the father at their house.

After that, well, let's just say that the next morning, the cleaners had to work really hard to wipe off the blood and pull down the entrails, skin et cetera of that father from the fountain in the middle of the plaza.

"Oh…" Lecia seemed taken aback- don't tell me she thought that I was lying. "What happened then?"

"We compensated the family and took her younger brothers under our care. We offered to take care of them for the rest of their life, but they refused. The oldest of them joined our knight squad, while the other two are currently training under the head butler."

It would be hilarious if it turned out that something like this actually happened in my current life.

"Good," she heaved a sigh of relief.

"See? That's what taking responsibility for your life looks life. Even though they had just lost their beloved sister, they followed her footsteps and took their lives in their own hands. They decided to work hard instead of depending on others."

"…You are right," she slowly nodded.

Wut? She agreed? Hot damn.

Also, now that I think about it, why has this whole situation turned into some kind of harsh and important yet wholesome life lesson when all I wanted to do was test out my drone, call Lecia dumb and dump her on to Azell?

Wow.