How to Raise Your Regressor

"Shut the fuck up, Azell. You, of all people, have absolutely no right to tell me what's enough and what isn't," I responded coldly.

"Wha…" Azell muttered under his breath; he seemed to be taken aback.

Did he perhaps not expect me to retaliate so strongly? Was he under the impression that I was 'joking' just like usual?

If he was, then yea, he was absolutely right.

It's honestly impressive that these wankers have already gotten used to me and my antics and are able to predict, to a certain extent, my real intentions behind my actions.

Although it means nothing if they still end up falling victim to my manipulations.

No, wait, that's actually worse, isn't it? They know what kind of guy I am, yet they still get bamboozled by my lies.

Maybe I should arrange a 'conspiracy theory' seminar where I'll teach them that not everything should be accepted at face value; they should do 'proper' research on it.

Emphasis on the word 'proper', of course. I'll personally break all their bones if any of them used a facebook meme to form a conspiracy theory.

Like, no, the Aggressors are not some emissaries sent by God to free us from our mortal body and help us ascend to a higher plane of existence by killing us. Don't form a religion out of that.

Anyway, not only Azell, but Neia and Lecia also seemed extremely taken aback by my sudden change in demeanour.

It's understandable. After all, I was calling Lecia a dumb fucking idiot only moments ago with a sneer.

"I'll get to you in a bit. Until then, go stand in the corner and keep your fucking mouth shut. I trust you are capable of that."

Azell opened his mouth and I raised my eyebrow. The next moment, he pursed his lips with a quiet sigh.

Good boy. I should give him some treats later.

Of course, treat=Lecia.

No, wait, that came out a bit wrong.

"Well then, dumbass I mean Lady Lecia, where were we?" I smiled at her.

"…" Interestingly enough, Lecia didn't seem to be offended this time.

If I had to say, her expression was closer to wariness, with a slight amount of fear mixed in.

Seems like my reaction had doused cold water on her hot nerves and calmed her down.

Not the effect I was looking for, but hey, I'll take it.

"Right, we were talking about how little you did to save yourself. Aside from sending out a distress signal and begging me, you did absolutely nothing. In that situation, you were akin to a salted fish that was free for taking. Am I wrong in any way?"

Lecia clenched her jaw.

"Answer me, Lecia. Am I wrong?"

"W-what could I have done?" She sputtered as she averted her gaze.

Wow, this girl is speedrunning her loss in this argument.

If I was her, I would have just doubled down on myself and said shit like, 'Yeah, I only did that much! You have a fucking problem with it!?'

The key to winning an argument where you're wrong is to confidently say something so wrong that your opponent simply has no idea how to refute you.

"I believe that I have already answered that question."

"Tristan… he had taken the necklace from me."

Oh my, would you look at Ms. Deceiver here.

"We both know that is not true, Lecia. Between the time you used the ring and Tristan appeared, you could have used the necklace 29 times. You didn't use it when Tristan appeared, and you didn't use it when Tristan gripped it in his hands, even though all you had to do was tap it three times. Why would you even lie?"

Let's see if she'll notice the contradiction here.

"How…" Her eyes trembled.

Looks like she hasn't.

"Have you already forgotten the basic function of the ring?" I glanced at Azell as I said that.

Even though Lecia didn't notice the gaping plot hole in my story, there's nothing that says that it won't catch her attention in the future.

Better be safe than sorry. The last thing I want is for her to come knocking on my door at 2 in the morning all because she had an 'Eureka!' moment in her post nut clarity.

Her eyes widened as she saw where my gaze was pointed at, "Y-you don't understand! T-there was nothing I could do!"

Still making excuses, huh? She should just man up, admit her mistakes and promise that she'll work on them.

So what if she's just a 13-year-old traumatised girl who's had a pretty rough child? Show some maturity.

"All I understand is that you did not do anything even though you had ample opportunity to do so. And that's because you're weak. Extremely weak."

"Urgh," she groaned and looked down.

"Seriously, the strength you have is fucking abysmal. Mr. Cat is better at protecting himself than you, goddamnit. Fuck, not a moment passes by in my life when I don't want to kill myself yet I can do a better job of protecting myself."

Imagine being worse at taking care of yourself than a suicidal guy. That's rock bottom right there.

"…What?" Lecia frowned.

"Hmm?" And so did Neia.

Oh fuck, looks like I slipped up in my passion.

"The point is that you did not do anything because you were too weak to do so."

"Of course, I am weak!" Lecia flared up. "I never had the opportunity to get strong!"

Sed.

"Let's give you the benefit of doubt and say that the Organisation was monitoring you so closely that you had absolutely no opportunity to get the strength to save yourself. But what about the time when you were with us?"

"Eh?"

"Did you make any effort to become stronger during the time you were at the New Dawn Guild? No, did you even think about it?"

Lecia quietly stared at me in stupefaction. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

"As expected, you did not. But why didn't you? As far as I've understood from your… fervent comments earlier, you really hate the Organisation, to the point that you'd rather die than return to that shithole. Yet not once did you try to get strong enough to protect yourself from that organisation. Did you perhaps think that the New Dawn Guild will protect you for the rest of your life?"

"…Isn't that what you promised?" She asked a bit apprehensively.

"Someone who has gone through the things that you did should know that's not how real life works. I mean, tell me, what value do you have? Are you useful to us in any way? Do you even have any potential to be useful? At this point, you are nothing more than a liability."

"I still have that skill…" her voice trailed off.

"Ah, yes, let's use your skill to become useful to the New Dawn Guild even though you ran away from your previous organisation because they forced you to use that very same skill. Sounds like a genius plan to me. What could go wrong, right?"

"…" She bit her lips.

"Also, between you and me, your skill will soon become obsolete."

I mean, why use a dumb 13-year-old edgy teenager's shitty healing skill when you can just pop open a can of Elixir, chug it down like it was a Monday beer and regrow your arms?

That's what I would do, at the very least.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, your skill won't become entirely useless, but it will be demoted into the niche category; useful in only certain conditions. Not to mention that as far as healing goes, Neia is far better than you, mainly because she won't groan in agonising pain for 2 hours after healing someone who just had his arms blow up. Trust me, I'd know."

Neia pursed her lips and averted her gaze, while Azell scowled at me.

It's almost like he suspects me of something. I have no idea what, though. Like I said, I'm nothing but a gud boi.

"That can't be…" Lecia seemed horrified.

Seems like she was banking on being the mysterious OP support character. F for her.

Her plan was bound to fail though; this is the motherfucking New Dawn Guild where everyone has a tragic backstory and is stupidly overpowered (except Antonio).

It's almost as if having a sad past is the requirement to be a broken character.

"So tell me, Lecia. What is your worth?"