How to Raise Your Regressor

"Meet me at the training area at 6," I instructed Neia.

"Alright," she nodded as she put the guns back in her box.

Is it just me or is she really excited? Perhaps she likes the idea of finally having non-zero attack power.

Heh, I look forward to seeing how she'll react to the weapons I'll give to her later on.

"Remember to complete the first time setup of the ring and necklace the moment you get the time to. Also, keep them with you at all times."

"Even when we're bathing?" Arteria asked jokingly.

"Even when you're bathing."

What will she do if she's attacked while she's having a nice, relaxing shower?

The embarrassment of being seen naked and the anger at having her shower ruined aside, not having the necklace to teleport away to safety or the ring to call for reinforcements would be a yikes from me.

"…"

"Anyway, see you guys later. I have some more things to develop."

"What else is there left to develop…" Antonio muttered under his breath.

Bruh, these guys really need to keep their mouth shut and say things in their mind.

"Mark my words, Mr. Antonio," I replied to him. "If I don't make the New Dawn Guild the strongest Guild by the end of this year, I'll shoot myself in the head."

"Huh? I-Isn't the end of the year only two weeks away?" Antonio asked.

"Yupp," I nodded.

"You're saying that you'll make us the strongest guild in just two weeks?"

"And if I don't, I'll shoot myself in the head."

"Eh?" He stupidly grunted.

Well, technically speaking, I could make them the strongest within hours but this time, I won't.

"I'm a man of my words, Mr. Antonio," I smiled.

"You'll shoot yourself in the head anytime. That doesn't count," Arteria retorted jokingly.

"You got me there."

"Huh?"

Azell and Noelle slowly turned their heads towards me and scowled.

"Needless to say, that was a joke. No need to take it seriously."

They obviously weren't aware, but I used an advanced tactic called lying; I really would shoot myself in the head just because.

As they say, suicide is badass.

"Stop making such jokes," Azell sighed.

"Develop a sense of humour."

He should be around 18, right? As he's from Earth, he should have a millennial's sense of humour.

So why does he always act so serious whenever I joke about killing myself?

Ah, perhaps he lost his sense of humour because he's a Regressor? After all, I have no idea how old he was before he regressed.

For all I know, he could have been 80 before regressing and coming back in time to save the future.

No wonder he takes suicide jokes so seriously. Sed.

"Anyway, I'll see you later," I bade them farewell and quickly left the meeting room.

They'd probably start questioning me and scolding me about my jokes if I stayed there any longer.

Anyway, time to sleep.

❄️❄️❄️

"Good morning, sleepyhead," Neia greeted me.

"Good evening," I yawned.

I accidentally took a non-tactical nap. It was supposed to be a 20-minute nap but I ended up sleeping like God slept through Holocaust.

In hindsight, I should have developed an alarm clock before all those pieces of jewellery.

"Did you bring the guns?" I asked.

Thankfully, Mr. Cat licked my face at just the right time and woke me up, or I would have been late to Neia's training.

"Yes, here," she pointed to the box by her feet.

"Perfect."

We were currently in the training area of this Guild.

This training area was actually at the fortieth basement level of the Guildhouse and was stupidly large.

Like seriously, why is it bigger than four football fields combined and has a 100-metre-high ceiling? Just what kind of training are the members of the New Dawn Guild going through?

No, before that, why does the New Dawn Guild have so many basements? Just how many children have they kidnapped and locked up in here?

Whatever, it'll be my loss if I dwell too much on it.

"We will first start with the basic parts of the gun-" Before I could finish, the door to the basement opened with a loud creak (someone needs to oil it).

Both of us turned to check who the rude intruder was. It turned out to be my stupid little sister aka Clementine.

Surprisingly, she was accompanied by Lecia.

Wait, two children in a basement? Hmm…

"Are you lost?" I asked them- well, shouted really.

They were so far from us, after all.

However, instead of replying they started running towards us.

Bruh, at least answer my question first. That's called basic courtesy.

These fuckers have absolutely zero manners. Just who is in charge of raising them?

Oh wait, it's me. Fuck.

Right, I'm supposed to be the mother figure of Lecia and brother figure of Clementine.

The contradictory genders of the roles aside, doesn't that make Clementine Lecia's aunt? Wow.

If we're talking about physical ages, Clementine is older than Lecia, so the relationship holds, at least.

Or does she? Wasn't most of Clementine's time spent as a foetus?

And conventionally, the time spent as a foetus is not counted in total age, so technically speaking, Lecia is older than Clementine.

But due to me, Lecia is still Clementine's niece.

Wait, Lecia is older than me but is still my hypothetical daughter.

In other words, Lecia is the oldest out of all of us but is also the youngest (relationship wise).

Hmm.

This is getting weird, let's just move on.

By the time I was done having this revelation, Clementine and Lecia had reached us.

"We are not lost," she replied while panting a bit.

"Then?"

I already know the answer to this, however.

"We were interested in seeing this 'gun'," she replied a bit excitedly.

Ah right, they are still children.

"I-I am not interested!" Lecia retorted. "You dragged me here!"

Classic child behaviour.

"Right, right," Clementine chuckled.

"Well, if you're that interested in seeing it, I'll be more than happy to show it. Ms. Neia, the gun, please," I extended my hand towards the Dragon.

"Here," she handed me a gun from her black box.

I spun the gun on my finger twice and then pointed it on Clementine's forehead.

"Eh?" She eked out as her eyes widened.

As I looked deep into her eyes, I pulled the trigger.

BANG!