How to Raise Your Regressor

"Yes, a Dragon," I nodded at the bewildered wankers.

"Ah!" Neia exclaimed. "So that's how you-" She stopped just as suddenly as she had exclaimed.

Phew. That was close.

The last thing I want is for Azell and Noelle to hear about how I had once again blown up both of my arms.

Also, aren't people supposed to have such epiphanies in their minds? Why did Neia have to blurt it out like that?

Neia, you fucking dumbass.

"Yes, yes I did," I replied before she could fuck things up even more.

"What are you talking about?" Azell asked, his eyes showing that he was interested in the topic of our conversation.

Time to finesse these motherfuckers.

"Well, you tell me. How do you think I created a World Record for the fastest dungeon clearing time?"

"Ahhhh…" he nodded. "So you killed those monsters with guns?"

"Yup. The dungeon was a trial run for these guns. Am I pronouncing them right, by the way?"

I obviously am, but such little things help smoothen out the character I'm playing and further solidify my mask.

"You are, don't worry. I take it that what Neia has is the final product."

"To be more precise, it's the first version of a fully-functional product."

"First version?" He raised his eyebrow.

"She has the Dragon's Wrath Mk-I. I'll keep developing it even further until it can one-shot a Dragon."

"O-one shot…?"

"I have no idea how to feel about a weapon's strength being measured in how effectively it can kill a Dragon," Neia sighed.

"What's the point of giving you a weapon if you cannot fight one of the strongest beings on this planet with it? As the R&D Head of this Guild, I refuse to give you anything less than the best."

"I doubt she'd need to fight a Dragon," Arteria said.

Hmm, do they not know that there are Dragons out there who are trying to capture the Dragon Princess aka Neia? Interesting.

"But what if she did?"

"She probably won't."

"But what if she did? The last thing she'd want is a weapon that cannot even scratch her opponent."

"…That strangely makes sense," Arteria pursed her lips.

"That's what I'm talking about, and that's why I'll continue improving it. My final goal is to create a gun that can kill God."

"God?!" Noelle exclaimed.

"Calm down, it was just a joke."

"Oh…"

"You obviously cannot kill a God with a gun. You need something bigger for that."

"…"

Hmm, should I make an Anti-God weapon?

Nah, I already have several of those. Making another would be nothing more than a pain in the ass.

What else can I make? An Anti-Dragon weapon?

No, that's too easy.

Ah, what about an Anti-war weapon! A weapon which could end the war between the Aggressors and this world with just a single shot.

Now that sounds amusing.

Let's do it.

"But why are you giving this to me?" Neia asked.

"Hmm?"

"I think these would be better in the hands of someone who knows how to fight," her eyes slightly drooped.

Ah, that's where she's going with this.

"Don't worry, I have other things in store for them. Yours just happened to be the first to reach completion."

Besides, what's the point of giving a gun to others? They either wield sharp objects like swords, knives or use magic to battle. They might even fight bare-handed just like the very first humans did.

"But…"

"Also, you're the one who needs them the most. You have absolutely zero attack power, after all."

"Oh," her eyes widened.

"Aww," Noelle smiled.

Hmm?

Looks like Noelle's doing what she does best; misunderstanding my actions.

I mean, it's not like I care for Neia; I couldn't bother less about what happens to a child beater.

I simply find the idea of a Healer using guns to fight highly amusing.

Imagine you're a soldier of an army who's fighting a small battalion. However, despite the overwhelming numbers advantage, the fight is proving difficult because all the soldiers of the enemy battalion are a beast in their own right.

The biggest problem is the enemy Healer who can heal even the gravest of wounds and bring back her comrades into the battle. Even if a lot of you sacrifice your lives to take one of the enemies out, that enemy is saved at the last moment by the Healer.

You know what needs to be done; kill the healer and the battle can be won.

And so, you hatch a plan with your fellow comrades to pierce through the enemy defence and kill the healer herself.

You act on the plan and manage to reach the centre at the cost of the lives of most of your comrades.

Finally, you're in front of the healer. Her comrades scream at her to run away, but the healer does not budge, perhaps ready to face her death.

You lick your lips in anticipation. This Healer has been the biggest thorn in your side. The moment you kill her is the moment you win this war.

'Any last words?' You ask, perhaps to show your respect to a worthy enemy.

'None. I'll defeat you with my healing powers,' the healer smirks and whips out the M242 25 mm Chain Gun.

A whirring sound comes from the gun as the pulls the trigger. The next moment, the gun spews out a rain of metal at you and your comrades.

'How is that healing power!' is the last thing you scream before you and everyone around you is mowed down by the healer.

That would be a certified bruh moment from me, but it would also be highly amusing.

"Samur?"

Well, Neia has only a pair of handguns right now so she cannot mow down an entire army by herself, but I'll give her a machine gun later on.

"Hello, Samur?"

In fact, I'll turn her into a one woman army; I'll give her enough weapons to erase armies upon armies by herself.

Aight, that's my mission from now on. Turn Neia, a pure Healer, into a mighty force capable of destroying a world.

I'll turn her into a Great Filter.

"Samur!" Someone (Noelle actually) tapped on my shoulder.

"Yes, yes, I heard you. Geez."

I guess they're not familiar with the concept of 'ignoring someone'. And I thought I was anti-social.

"Then why weren't you replying?"

"I was thinking about something."

Specifically, I was thinking about a scenario where a random soldier is filled with enough bullets by Neia that he'll look like cheese.

After all, what's the point of killing someone if the family can recognise the body?

"Why do I get the feeling that whatever you were thinking wasn't good?" Noelle's eyes narrowed.

"It's your imagination."

I mean, me and thinking about something non-good? Pfft!

I'm a certified gud boi.

"…" The suspicion in her eyes deepened.

Perhaps I should have taught these wankers about trust during that Seminar. Wow.

"Anyway, that's all for today. You can go back. And as for you, Neia," I turned to her. "Meet me at the training area at 6."

"Alright," she nodded.