How to Raise Your Regressor

"Wake up, Sleeping Princess," I called out to her.

The more precise phrase would have been 'Sleeping Assassin', but then the statement would have lost its classic charm, so I had to compromise.

Anyway.

As if my words were the cue, Noelle's eyes fluttered open. Her unfocused eyes dashed around, then focused on me, as if recognising me.

"Samur- ahh!" She clutched her head as she tried to sit up.

"Whoa, whoa," I lent her a hand because I'm a gud boi. "You still haven't fully recovered."

"Ah," she exhaled sharply, "What… what happened?"

"You fainted."

"I did…? How? Why?"

"Neia said that you were exhausted. Apparently, you pushed yourself too far."

And I was the reason for that but let's not discuss it.

"I did, huh," she sighed as she leaned back on the bed. "Yes, yes, I am a bit exhausted."

"Just what happened that you had to push yourself to the point of fainting?"

Time to start the second phase of my Epic Prank.

"You're asking as if you don't know," she scoffed.

"I AM asking because I don't know," I raised my eyebrow.

"Don't you think you're too late to play this game?"

Late? Then when was I supposed to play it, right after having my body chopped to pieces in front of 50 people?

This woman is not the best at playing games, is she?

"What game?"

"The current game where you're pretending you don't know why I'm exhausted," her eyes narrowed.

"It's no game. I genuinely don't know. Did something happen during the meeting?"

"Pfft, right. You don't know anything."

"…"

Time to put on my 'The fuck is this woman talking about' face.

"…" She raised her eyebrow.

"…"

And now time to put on my 'Just what could have happened that Noelle fainted?' face.

"…You seriously don't know?" She asked.

"All I know is that something happened during that meeting that stressed you to the point that you fainted. Nothing more than that."

"You fucker…" her eyes widened to their extreme as her voice turned cold. "Don't play this game with me."

"And like I said, I'm not playing any game with you," I replied as I took a step back, pretending to be afraid.

"Oh yeah?" She swept the sheet covering her aside, stood up, walked up to me, grabbed my collars and hoisted me up.

"Woah, woah, calm down, bruh."

"Look me in the eyes," she snarled. "Look me in the eyes and tell me that you have no idea what I'm talking about."

"…" Behind the eyes boring into mine, a hellfire was raging.

"Do it!"

"Noelle, I'm truly sorry to say this, but I have no idea what you are talking about."

I guess she never got the memo that acting is one of my strongest suits.

Like, what is she trying to do? Gauge the truth through my eyes?

Sorry to say this, Noelle, but far better men than you have tried, yet not one of them could see past the darkness that lurks behind my eyes.

As they say, when you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back at you.

And that's what was happening to Noelle right now.

Her eyes widened as she saw the never-ending darkness within mine. The fire raging in her eyes flickered, as it was afraid of being swallowed by my darkness.

Which is nothing more than a metaphorical way of saying that she couldn't get anything from staring into my eyes, and that the lack of any sort of response scared her.

Noelle's grip on my collar loosened and she took some steps back. She looked down at her trembling hands and exhaled deeply yet sharply.

She took some more breaths and looked back up at me, "What was that?"

"What was what?"

Needless to say, as a 12-year-old child, I should have no idea what she's talking about. I mean, children aren't supposed to be proficient at reading emotions through eyes.

"Your eyes, they, just," she sputtered.

"What about my eyes? Is something wrong with them?" I raised my eyebrow.

Well, there IS something wrong with them; I'm myopic.

Fuck. Gotta get a pair of specs sometime later.

"…No, nothing," she shook her head with a sigh, as if saying in her mind 'No way that was real. I'm just too exhausted'.

"Alright."

Noelle slowly walked towards her bed and sat at the edge of the bed, then quietly stared at me for some moments.

"You really don't know what I'm talking about?"

"Unfortunately, no."

"I'm not even asking you to take responsibility, you know. I won't punish you either."

"No matter what you say, my answer will remain the same."

This is an age-old trick that mothers use. They just say, 'Tell me everything. I won't beat you, I promise,' yet the moment you tell them the truth, they beat the shit out of you.

I'm not falling for it again.

"Let's confirm it then."

"How?"

The fuck is she planning to do?

"I'm sure that you have no idea what happened in the meeting, or what we discussed during it."

"Yes, unfortunately. Azell said he swore an oath or something."

To be more precise, he signed a non-disclosure agreement violating which will lead to his soul being disintegrated and his existence being erased.

"And do you know the repercussions of breaking that oath?"

"Nope."

"Perfect," she smiled. "I'm now going to break that oath and tell you everything that happened during that meeting."

My oh my.

"Are you sure you should be doing that?"

"Ah, don't worry. They'll just send me a notice," her smile widened.

Hmm, yes, and the notice they'll send will kill your very soul itself.

Should I restore her memories to remind her what it's like to have one's existence erased?

This is just wow.

"Well, if you say so," I took a seat in front of her. "Tell me everything that happened during that meeting."

Let's play along with her.

"…" she raised her eyebrow.

"What? Do you want to back out?"

"Hmm…"

"Oh, come on, you just said that they'll just send you a notice. There's nothing to worry about, so tell me. I'm dying to know."

"Right, right," she slowly nodded. "During the meeting, we discussed something that has the potential to- guh!" She suddenly winced and clutched her chest.

"Noelle? Are you okay?"

Her acting was pretty authentic, I must admit, but she's nothing more than a fucking noob in front of me.

After all, I created the contract she signed; I know what will trigger it and what won't.

Besides, even if it was triggered, Noelle would have dropped dead by now.

I guess she truly doesn't comprehend the concept of having a soul erased.

So needless to say, all of this was an act; Noelle was betting on the fact that I cared for her enough to stop her before she breached the contract and died a horrific death, which in turn will prove that I knew what she was talking about.

But I won't. I'm too old to fall for such third-rate tricks.

More likely than not, Noelle was bluffing, so there was nothing to worry about.

Even if she wasn't and she did end up dying, her existence itself will be erased so there will be no one to mourn her death and hold me responsible.

Either way, I won't stop her, because not doing so was a win-win scenario for me.

So, give it your best shot, Noelle.