Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating

Edited by Divetus

There were also countless notifications on his cellphone with the prompt starting with "[someone has @you]", most of which came from his group chat.

Jing Huan glanced down and saw that most of the notifications came from the dorm group chat. Although his two roommates were usually easy-going, they weren't actually stupid. If they carefully thought about it, they could easily figure out what was going on.

While looking through all these notifications, Jing Huan had actually calmed down. He had already thought through it; a man must bear the consequences of his own actions. His only concern right now was how it would affect Xiang Huaizhi.

"Finished washing up?" Xiang Huaizhi called out to him, "Come here."

Jing Huan summoned his courage and walked over.

The closer he got to the computer, the more embarrassed he felt.

Xiang Huaizhi minimized the livestreaming interface so that only the NCH game clients were left on the screen.

Both Yearning For and Xiao Tianjing's accounts were open on the computer. Xiang Huaizhi had opened Xiao Tianjing's inventory and placed a cart full of Opportunity Stones in it.

A full cart had a total of 20 packs.

"The arena doesn't open for another half hour," Xiang Huaizhi raised his hand and drew in Jing Huan's hand. "You can help me open these."

Jing Huan suddenly clenched Xiang Huaizhi's hand and immediately shook his head after hearing his words, blurting out, "I…"

But just after one word, he remembered that the livestream was on and immediately shut up again.

"It's okay, I turned off the mic," Xiang Huaizhi said.

Jing Huan breathed a sigh of relief and responded, "I can't ah, my hands stink."

Xiang Huaizhi drew up to the side of his face and sniffed. "Don't you smell very nice?"

"…" Jing Huan was silent for a bit. "Are you praising me or your shower gel?"

Xiang Huaizhi gently laughed all of a sudden, but then quickly tucked away his smile. He said with his usual expression, "It's okay, just open it casually. No one will blame you for not getting good things."

In the minimized NCH livestream platform, the barrage had been crazily spammed.

[You turned off the mic? When did you turn off the mic?]

[Fuck, this is so exciting. Damn, I won't do instances today or watch female anchors either. I'll just live in the stream today.]

[Why am I, a big man who is 1.9 meters tall, sitting here and watching two guys being gay?] ]

["Your shower gel", Xiao Tianjing is at the great God's home!]

[Their voices are even better than the radio drama CVs. I reasonably doubted that this was all just hyped up, but I don't think that anymore. Please, start your fanservice, I'm willing to jump into the pit.]

[There are so many fujoshis. Don't be so wordy, just quickly open the Opportunity Stones. I'm ready to start jeering.]

Jing Huan had no idea about any of this.

After Jing Huan sat down, he scooted the chair closer to Xiang Huaizhi, producing a scraping sound as its feet were dragged.

Jing Huan slightly leaned against him and said, "It's not time for the arena yet, but you can stream something else. I saw other people livestreaming their instances."

[Do you have a conscience? I've been waiting in front of the computer all day long, and you're going to let the great God just stream instances?]

"Can't really do any instances in just half an hour. It's okay, just open some of these first," Xiang Huaizhi said.

Jing Huan wasn't particularly distressed about the money, since the money spent on these Opportunity Stones wasn't even enough for him to buy half a shoe.

He just didn't like giving money to the GM.

But since they had already been bought, and he couldn't return them, he said, "Okay ba, let's open them on your account ba. What if a bounded material appears?"

Xaing Huaizhi replied, "That would be perfect if you got more equipment, my account doesn't need it."

Jing Huan said, "Then, I can't just blindly accept it ah."

Xiang Huaizhi thought he was going to try and settle accounts with him again, and frowned.

Jing Huan continued, “If I don’t get anything good out of the stones, I’ll just have to pay you back with my body.”

Xiang Huaizhi paused and only answered after a long time, “Understood.”

Jing Huan had just lost face, and in fact, his mood hadn't actually eased up yet, but he couldn't let it affect Xiang Huaizhi. After all, he was about to livestream his arena fights for the first time.

So Jing Huan, with uneasiness and embarrassment, tried his best to chat with Xiang Huaizhi in his usual tone.

In order to conveniently open the stones, he changed seats with Xiang Huaizhi.

As soon as Jing Huan sat down, he saw that there were many inexplicable words in the game's world channel..

[World] The Wind is Freer than Me: Baozi, ghost nets, fox eyes, phoenix tail hairs.

[World]: Flowers Blinding Eyes: Crocodile tears, magic mane, bear hair.

[World] I'm the Side Account of the Great Love God: Rabbit tail, red crystal, broken jadeite.

…

All of these were fucking garbage items that could appear from an Opportunity Stone.

Jing Huan: "?"

What the hell ah?

What are all of you talking about?

Isn't this way too unlucky ba?

He even had the idea that he was being targeted.

Xiang Huaizhi lifted his hand and used it to directly block the world channel.

"That's just how the viewers are. They just like watching anchors stream their misfortune." Xiang Huaizhi naturally said,

[?]

[Who was I doing this for ya? Because side accounts can't send messages, I specifically charged six yuan to my account for a card!!!]

[Me too, I didn't even charge six yuan for my most recent CP (I'm sorry, I'm whoring myself out, I'm inferior)]

Jing Huan said "oh" and began to open the stones.

20 minutes later, Jing Huan looked at the bear hair, fox eyes, and broken jadeite….

"Pay back with your body ba." Xiang Huaizhi said.

Jing Huan squeezed out, "… Will pay back."

Jing Huan couldn't help complaining in a low voice, "I just wanted to shed my unlucky image once, but the GM doesn't ever want to give me the chance…"

After storing the things in his warehouse, Jing Huan asked, "Shouldn't you be looking at the livestream? I've seen other anchors look at the interface every two or three minutes to communicate with the viewers and etc."

Xiang Huaizhi had already wanted to ask, "Whose livestreams are you usually watching? That PUBG anchor?"

Jing Huan was stunned for a moment, and then realized that he was referring to yanxyan.

"No," he said reflexively, "Xiao Yan doesn't really read the barrage anymore. After all, he couldn't possibly read everything with his amount of fans."

Xiang Huaizhi: "…"

Jing Huan closed the warehouse. "And I haven't watched his livestream for a long time, I've been too busy coaxing you these past few months."

He was telling the truth. At the beginning, his purpose was impure, and he had wanted to coax Xiang Huaizhi into marrying him.

Later, when Jing Huan fell for Xiang Huaizhi, he wanted to coax him even more.

Xiang Huaizhi was suddenly a bit regretful.

He should've turned the microphone off..

He endured and didn't do anything in the end, but just exercised some restraint and reached out to rub Jing Huan's hair. "It's time to go to the arena. The faster we finish the match, the faster we can stop livestreaming."

To make playing easier, Jing Huan took his laptop and sat at the other end of the table.

As soon as he left, Xiang Huaizhi opened the livestream, he saw the barrage and gifts all appear at the same time..

[Great God, please remember that you're someone who turned off his mic, you don't have to worry about us.]

[No need to stop streaming! Please stream all night! I will pay for your Internet bill!!!]

[There's a big difference between the way the real Xiao Tianjing talks and his game character, but somehow I don't think it conflicts at all [scratches head]]

[What are great God's stats now? Can we have a look? Can you show us your equipment?]

Xiang Huaizhi's equipment had always been a mystery. The only two screenshots of his equipment had already been widely spread among the players..

Everyone had thought that it was that Xiang Huaizhi was unwilling to show his equipment, but in fact, he just hadn't cared for social interaction in the game these past few years. No one dared to ask him for a screenshot of his equipment, and he wouldn't initiate sending it out..

Seeing this line in the barrage, he directly moved the mouse to his equipment and let everyone have a good look.

And then muted the mic.

Ignoring the thousands of "?", Xiang Huaizhi said, "Join the team, boyfriend."

Jing Huan chuckled. He found that after talking with Xiang Huaizhi for a while, his previous mood had already been thrown far, far away.

The two of them in the team went into the arena. Jing Huan asked in wonder, "Don't you think that today's arena has more people than usual?"

He casually inspected the information of the people next to him, "Many of them are PvE accounts that have never played in the arena before… Has the arena been revamped?"

Xiang Huai's tone was casual. "Maybe."

The players all came here to stand around and watch. They didn't dare to be angry about the mic being muted. After all, they were all using their main accounts to spectate, so they were afraid of Yearning For initiating a forced PK against them.

In order to show off Xiang Huaizhi's livestream, Jing Huan worked very hard tonight, using many different types of extreme plays. Finally, he pulled out Xiao Xiangjing and used the Fairy Fox Cave pair to pull off a small wave of combos to tenaciously control the enemy.

At half past nine, the arena punctually finished.

He didn't lose any matches tonight. Jing Huan breathed a sigh of relief just as the phone rang, so he closed his computer and got up. "I'm going to go down to get a midnight snack for later."

Xiang Huaizhi let out an "en," and said, "Put on your coat before you go."

"Okay."

"I hung your coat in the cloakroom, so you can just wear mine," Xiang Huaizhi said. "It's just on the sofa outside."

Jing Huan's ears were hot. "Okay."

Only after Jing Huan left did Xiang Huaizhi reopen the livestream interface.

[Begging for the Fairy Fox Cave play guide!]

[I said so from the beginning, that girls can't play the way Xiao Tianjing does.]

[Are you dumb ba? Why can't a girl fight like that? Have you ever seen Kiss Kiss Fish Fish? A strong female DPS in Yearning For's team.]

[Unmute the mic, unmute, unmute!!!]

[The Fairy Fox Cave child is pretty strong. Although her healing output isn't as much as her mom, she can still seal and prevent healing…]

Xiang Huaizhi ignored the barrage. He opened the chat box with the room administrator.

[Yearning For: Is that enough time?]

[Yearning For: That should be enough, I started the stream before 7 p.m. You can just send the apparel rewards directly to my account and my wife's account. I'm going to turn off the livestream.]

-

Jing Huan entered the elevator and put his hands in his pockets.

Xiang Huaizhi's smell was all over his clothes. He tried to restrain himself, but he couldn't help shrugging his shoulders and lowering his chin into the coat's collar.

When he got to the gate, he didn't see anyone. He called to ask and found out that the delivery person had gone to the wrong building and was now hurrying over.

Jing Huan hung up the phone and sat down in the building's lobby, playing with his cellphone while waiting for the delivery person.

There were several hundred messages from the group chat. He looked at it closely and found that there was a new group chat that he had never seen before.

The group's participants were his dorm group, along with Xiang Huaizhi and Lu Hang.

Lu Ge: You two… When did it happen?

Gao Zixiang: I guess it must have been those days around Christmas.

Lu Wenhao: How do you know?

Gao Zixiang: Did you forget ah? Those days when we had hot pot, after we finished eating, Huanhuan suddenly said he was going upstairs to see Xiang Ge.

Lu Wenhao: Fuck! Laozi remembers now!

Lu Wenhao: That day, after eating hot pot, Huanhuan also asked me to lend him some chapstick… Finally, he chewed some gum before going upstairs. I asked him to share one with me, but he didn't agree.

Lu Ge: .

Gao Zixiang. .

Lu Wenhao: Laozi can't look at chapstick straight anymore.

Lu Ge: I can't look directly at my dorm room anymore.

Xiao Jing ya: …

Lu Wenhao: !!!

Gao Zixiang: !! You're finally willing to appear!

Lu Ge: What's exactly going on with you two ah? Are you really together? Who chased after who? Everyone is so familiar with each other, and we're all bros, it's not cool to keep us in the dark ah.

The livestream accident was so sudden that Jing Huan still hadn't figured out how to explain it to his bros.

He scratched his hair and sullenly typed: I chased after him——

Xiang: Mutual attraction, no one pursued the other.

Xiang: Also, we haven't done anything in the dorm room. If we really wanted to do something, we'd go to a hotel. What could you do on a dorm room bed?

Xiang: What else do you want to ask? Go on.

—

Juurensha: Ah, XHZ, not cool letting Huanhuan think you turned off the mic. Still, their bros reactions are hilarious.

Divi: XHZ why did you tell him that the mic was mute when it wasn't…. That's not cool, what if he said something more incriminating :(. Finally the dorm group gets some realizations!

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