Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating

Edited by Divetus

In December, Man City officially entered winter, and snowflakes drifted all night. When Jing Huan woke up, outside was completely blanketed in several layers of white.

Near the end of the term, more people came to class. Those who didn't attend class often in the past were now in their final struggle to seize the professor's favor.

In the afternoon, Jing Huan laid on the table with only his eyes peeking out. The heating in the classroom seemed to be broken, and it wasn't warm at all. With all the students coming in and out, the classroom door had never been properly shut, and the cold wind blew in. Jing Huan was so frozen that he didn't even take off his scarf.

Another boy said hello to Jing Huan when he entered through the back door. Jing Huan blinked and let out a stuffy "en".

After they left, Lu Wenhao asked him, "Do you recognize that guy?"

"Remembered the face, forgot the name." Jing Huan answered lazily.

"……" Lu Wenhao had nothing to say. "Then, how could you still act so naturally?"

"Why not?" Jing Huan said, "It makes things easier."

That was true.

When the door was pushed open again, Lu Wenhao shivered. He bumped shoulders with Gao Zixiang and said, "What are you doing? You keep holding up your cellphone."

"You single dogs can't understand," Gao Zixiang said happily. "Chatting with my girlfriend."

"Scram, I'm not a single dog." Lu Wenhao retorted angrily.

Gao Zixiang asked, "How are you not?"

Lu Wenhao looked up: "My wife and I have reconciled! I'm going to go meet her face to face during the holidays."

Jing Huan turned his head to face them but stayed in the same position. "Which wife?"

"What other wife is there, don't you only know one… Fuck!" In the middle of his sentence, Lu Wenhao thought of the horrible past again and smiled angrily. "Huanhuan, I haven't incurred your wrath recently ba, why do you keep on constantly bringing up that stupid catfisher!"

Jing Huan said, "You can't attack all catfishers just because one catfisher tricked you. That is species discrimination."

Lu Wenhao nodded. "Yes, I want to wipe them all out. If they have the ability, catfishers can send a representative to beat me."

Jing Huan wasn't interested in being the catfisher representative. He stared at Lu Wenhao and coldly laughed.

"Really meeting face to face?" Gao Zixiang said, "It can't be that you got tricked by a catfisher last time, and this time you're going to directly fall into a fairy dance scheme. Don't ask your bros to save you then, we won't go."

"Scram, you only know how to curse me. I must've killed someone or set something on fire in my previous life to have ended up meeting you guys now."

When Lu Wenhao finished, he suddenly remembered something. Like a thief sneaking around, he went up to Gao Zixiang and whispered something.

After hearing this, Gao Zixiang was stunned, then he cheered up and cursed, "Crazy…"

Jing Huan frowned. "What are you guys talking about?"

"Forget it, little children shouldn't hear." Gao Zixiang shook his head.

Jing Huan laughed and asked, "You want a beating ah? Hurry up and say it."

Gao Zixiang pretended to think about it for a while, then went past Lu Wenhao and came up to him. "Hao'er asked me for a video. That guy is really bad. He hasn't even met the girl yet but he's thinking of touching her."

Jing Huan: "…"

Lu Wenhao was so angry, but he hadn't managed to stop him. After being exposed, he could only pretend to cough softly. "Isn't this just me getting ready in advance?"

"It can't be ba," said Gao Zixiang. "After dating so many people online, you're still a virgin?"

"Fuck, it's not like Laozi has ever met anyone in person before." Having been trampled on, Lu Wenhao directly went and tried to drag the person next to him into the pit too. "Why aren't you saying anything about Huanhuan!"

Jing Huan gave him an incredulous look. "What problems are you bringing to daddy?"

"He has also played NCH for so many years, and he's also handsome," Lu Wenhao said. "But, he's not just a virgin, he has also never been kissed before!"

Gao Zixiang looked at him curiously. "Then, that means you've been kissed before?"

Lu Wenhao sneered. "I've kissed my junior high deskmate before."

Gao Zixiang gave him a thumbs up. After bantering and throwing around quips for a while, their conversation had already veered wildly off course.

Hearing his name constantly, Jing Huan couldn't bear it. "Who told you that I've never kissed anyone before?"

At last there was silence.

A few seconds later, Lu Wenhao pounced and hooked an arm around his neck. "What! Who did you kiss! Who robbed you of your innocence!!"

Jing Huan was stunned, and only then realized what he had just said.

He pretended to be disgusted and pushed the other person away. "You don't have to worry about that."

"When we first entered university, Xiang'er said that you had never had a girlfriend before, so then it must've happened in college…" Lu Wenhao asked, "We're good bros, you can't hide something like this. Say it! Which young maiden?!"

Fuck.

Jing Huan really couldn't say anything right now.

Because the words "young maiden" had nothing to do with that person at all.

Lu Wenhao was overwhelmingly curious, and he had wanted to continue interrogating him when he suddenly noticed something.

Then, acting as if he had discovered a new continent he exclaimed, "Holy shit! Huanhuan, your ears are actually red!"

Jing Huan: "…"

Jing Huan snapped, "Shut up."

The two of them interrogated Jing Huan for the whole class, but Jing Huan didn't say a word more. He thought his brain must've fallen out for him to have actually refuted that sentence.

Towards the end of class, the cellphone in his pocket slightly vibrated.

Xiang: .

Xiao Jing ya: ?

Xiang: Look at the entrance.

Jing Huan incredulously glanced out of the small window.

Xiang Huaizhi was standing outside with his head down. A few seconds later, he put away his cellphone and looked up, meeting Jing Huan's gaze.

The boy looked like he had just had a nap in class. His eyelids were drooping, and he was dressed in black. His whole atmosphere felt lower than today's temperature.

Jing Huan couldn't move his eyes away at first.

"What are you looking at?" Lu Wenhao looked in the direction Jing Huan was staring at, and oohed, "Xiang Ge? Is he outside our classroom waiting for someone? Did you two arrange something?"

Jing Huan said, "No arrangement."

"Then, who is he waiting for…?" Lu Wenhao raised his hand to greet Xiang Huaizhi, and the other party nodded casually in response. Lu Wenhao clicked his tongue. "Xiang Ge is so damn handsome."

He was waiting for me.

Jing Huan uneasily looked away and lowered his head to cough.

"Class is nearly over, and we're going to have to go out again and suffer in the cold." Lu Wenhao said, stretching out his hand to reach into Jing Huan's pocket, "Warm my hands, Huanhuan."

Jing Huan was given a start and gently slapped the back of his hand.

Both of them were stunned.

Lu Wenhao: "?"

"No longer offering that service." Jing Huan said calmly, putting his hands in his pockets and resuming his former expression.

After class, Jing Huan threw some gum into his mouth and closed his textbook. He was about to get up, but he saw someone was even faster than him.

Even in winter, there were still many girls wearing skirts in the classroom. Although their legs were all wrapped in silk stockings, the light and elegant skirts would still make people's eyes light up.

The girl's skirt swayed back and forth with the ends of her hair. The little steps she took forward were both filled with anticipation and nervousness. She ran towards Xiang Huaizhi with a smile on her face.

"…" Jing Huan paused in his movements, and his mouth was slightly open. At last, he couldn't help but ask, "Who is that?"

Lu Wenhao was chatting with his in-game wife, so when he heard the question, he paused, "Ah? Who… Oh, her ah. Her name is Liang Mengjia, she seems to be a famous model, they say that she'll debut in the future. She didn't come to class this semester because she found a private tutor."

Jing Huan had just reflexively asked this, but unexpectedly, Lu Wenhao knew so much.

“Liang Mengjia seems to have pursued Xiang Huaizhi before,” Gao Zixiang said

Jing Huan’s feet froze. “You even know about that&#k2026;”

"It was a big deal. I heard that she confessed to him in a KTV room." Gao Zixiang asked, "Shall we go to say hello to Xiang Ge ah? Would we be disturbing them…?"

Before he had finished speaking, Jing Huan had already put his hands in his pockets and walked towards the door with his textbook clutched in his arms.

Hearing the noise inside, Xiang Huaizhi dropped his cellphone into his pocket and stepped back a little to avoid blocking peoples’ way.

When the girl ran in front of him, he was about to get ready to let her go past when he heard the girl whisper to him, "Senior Xiang."

Jing Huan walked to the door and chewed his gum a few beats slower.

Fuck….

This girl even has a loli voice.

Pure, without a voice changer, and hearing it, you could tell it was very natural, without any affectations.

Xiang Huaizhi paused slightly and asked, "What's the matter?"

"Long time no see." The girl looked up at him, and although she wanted to act calm, her eyes filled with difficult to suppress emotions that betrayed her.

In all honesty, Xiang Huaizhi didn't remember who she was.

"At the beginning of last year, we met at KTV." The girl handed him a small gift bag with a cute Santa on it. "Christmas is coming, and this… is a Christmas present for you."

Xiang Huaizhi recalled the event now. The light in the KTV room had been too dim, and he hadn't seen the girl's facial features at all.

He glanced at the gift bag, looked up again, and saw Jing Huan standing behind the girl.

There were two hairs on Jing Huan's head that were crookedly stuck up. It seemed that they were accidentally tousled when he had been lying down. He blew out a bubble of gum, and the moment when their eyes met, the bubble burst, and then Jing Huan slowly sucked it back in.

It looked like the two words, "bad mood", were written on his forehead.

Xiang Huaizhi looked away and said, "Thank you."

The girl's heart leaped in happiness——

"But I'm sorry," Xiang Huaizhi said, "I have a girlfriend now."

Xiang Huaizhi's voice wasn't loud or quiet, but Jing Huan still heard it perfectly.

The girl froze for a moment, and then she withdrew the present with embarrassment. "Ah, it's not… I just wanted to give you a present, there's no other meaning to it."

Xiang Huaizhi refused, "No."

"She…" The girl grit her teeth. "Your girlfriend won't know anyway…"

For some reason, Xiang Huaizhi suddenly let out a laugh.

"They know." Xiang Huaizhi said.

How Liang Mengjia left, Jing Huan didn't know. When he had pulled himself together, Xiang Huaizhi had already walked over to him and had reached out a hand to press on his hair.

"Sleeping in class?" Xiang Huaizhi asked.

"Just laid down a bit," Jing Huan slowly chewed his gum again and then said, "Didn't you also sleep?"

Xiang Huaizhi let out an "en" sound, "I didn't sleep well last night."

Jing Huan internally said, well wasn't that a coincidence.

Ever since that kiss on the stairwell, he hadn't been sleeping well.

He had dreamed of Xiang Huaizhi for several days in a row.

Some dreams were very simple. He couldn't remember the contents clearly, but he did remember Xiang Huaizhi's face and expression.

And some of those damn dreams… were a little too much.

"Xiang Ge," Gao Zixiang came out wearing headphones, "You have a class in our building today?"

Xiang Huaizhi took his hand back. "En."

"Why isn't Lu Ge here ah?" Lu Wenhao looked around.

"He's cutting class." Xiang Huaizhi glanced at his watch, and he asked seemingly casually, "Are you guys going to go eat?"

"Yeah, there's some steamed fish head with diced red peppers in the canteen today." Lu Wenhao, as if rehearsed, naturally asked, "Xiang Ge, how about you go together with us?"

On the way to the canteen, Jing Huan kept worrying about what Lu Wenhao and them might notice.

Later, he found out that he had worried too much. His two roommates were busy, one chatting with his girlfriend, the other chatting with his in-game wife, without even raising his head.

Xiang Huaizhi also didn't make any excessive moves. Even when he was eating, he only occasionally exchanged a few words with Lu Wenhao.

Jing Huan was inwardly rejoicing, but he also had some kind of indescribable emotion.

How do you say it…

Not very lively.

A few seconds later, he bowed his head and took a swig of the soup, swallowing all those confused thoughts.

In the middle of the meal, a small window in the canteen quietly opened. Lu Wenhao was eating and suddenly snapped up, then slapped Gao Zixiang on the shoulder.

"You damn… Do you want to murder Laozi?" Gao Zixiang choked on a mouthful of rice.

"Window 12 is open!" Lu Wenhao said.

Window 12 was their canteen's special window. It sold oden, and the sauce was delicious and cheap, but the opening times were uncertain. Sometimes it opened for two days a week, and sometimes it wouldn't open for an entire month. Lately it had been the latter, which was why Lu Wenhao was so excited when he saw it open.

Half a minute later, only Jing Huan and Xiang Huaizhi were left at the table, and the other two people had lined up to buy oden.

Jing Huan poked at his rice and glanced at the dishes of people around him.

"When are your exams?" All of a sudden, the man who had been silent put down his chopsticks and asked.

Jing Huan was shocked and said, "I finish my exams on January 7th."

So early.

Xiang Huaizhi lightly frowned and asked, "When will you go back?"

"Not sure yet," said Jing Huan. "Why?"

"Could we meet over winter vacation?"

Jing Huan's chopsticks froze.

In fact, it was normal for him to meet his friends during winter vacation. Every year when he went back, he would get together with his old friends.

Thinking like that, Jing Huan didn't feel as awkward. He turned his head and tried to say in a natural tone, "We can, but this year's Spring Festival is early, so I may not be able to go out too far…"

"I'll come to you." Xiang Huaizhi said.

"…" Jing Huan said, "That's too much trouble ah."

"Where do you live?"

"In Man City, it's a few hours' drive from the school."

Xiang Huaizhi chuckled, "Me too."

So it was settled just like that.

After that, Xiang Huaizhi didn't say anything else. Before he left, he bought something from the canteen's small supermarket.

"I have something else to do, I need to make a trip out of the school. You guys go back ba." He said.

Lu Wenhao was stunned. "Since you were going out of the school anyway, then why did you eat at the canteen… Do the night market snacks just not smell as nice? "

"Not as nice," Xiang Huaizhi said.

Before leaving, he took out a yoghurt drink box from his pocket and put it into Jing Huan's hand while the other two weren't paying attention.

On the way back, Jing Huan had his head lowered and stared at the ground the entire way.

Lu Wenhao came up to him and asked him, "Huanhuan, what are you thinking about?"

Jing Huan still didn't raise his head. "I don't know."

"?"

After walking for who knows how far, Jing Huan suddenly turned his head and called out, "Xiang'er."

Gao Zixiang put down his cellphone. "Ah?"

"See you during winter vacation?"

"…" Gao Zixiang was a bit confused. "Don't I go to your house every year to celebrate the new year?"

Jing Huan stared at him for a long time.

Then he tossed out a sentence of, "That's fine." And just turned around to leave.

Gao Zixiang: "…"

Gao Zixiang pondered, "What's he doing?"

Lu Wenhao shrugged. "Don't try to guess Huanhuan's thoughts."

Jing Huan walked in front of them with a completely puzzled looked.

Obviously all of us were friends, and obviously we're all meeting over winter vacation…

But, why was it that when it was switched to Xiang Huaizhi, he found the whole thing strange?

He couldn't describe his feelings, just that…

Just that it felt like this winter vacation would be completely different from all his past ten winter vacations.

-

Back home, Jing Huan took a sip of yogurt and sat in front of the computer.

Jing Huan entered the game, but Yearning For wasn't there. After thinking about it, he decided to go home and take today's tonic first.

[Servant: After drinking this crystal sugar bird's nest, the little master moved and seemed to be very happy ^^]

Crap.

At ten plus gold a pop, could they not be happy?

Laozi isn't even willing to eat it.

Jing Huan opened the calendar and saw that the baby would be born tomorrow.

He hesitated for a moment, then unearthed all the webpages he had gathered, the keywords all being "Mount Qiya baby care guide".

As soon as he wanted to click on it, he saw a megaphone under the game.

[Watch video +AV → 99992LM: 5th page hot video↑ viewers love it, + + + sexy, Westerners, Japanese, Chinese / English subs available + +]

There were always many small, illegal advertisements in NCH, and usually they got deleted in less than half a second by the system.

But this one still hadn't disappeared, even after a full ten seconds had passed.

[World] Star in the Sky: OK, this film seller must have connections and is receiving preferential treatment.

[World] Where are Laoniang's Crystal Shoes: @GM come out and do your job.

[World] Midnight Fierce 0: The quality of the films sold by this person is actually pretty good.

If it was normal times, Jing Huan wouldn't even take a single look, and maybe he would even file a report.

But today….

He lowered his eyes and locked his gaze on the small megaphone.

Had he been having all these messy dreams recently because he had been suppressing himself for too long?

It was easy to get fired up at the age of 19 or 20. When he played basketball the last few times, he had felt that he had no place to use up all his energy…

Two minutes later, Jing Huan had opened WeChat to fish out his junior high roommate, who had been keen on watching those kinds of videos, and told him a reason.

The other side didn't say anything and just directly forwarded a folder to him.

It was getting dark. The street lights had dimmed, and the lights were turned off indoors. The curtains were closed, and only the computer screen was faintly shining in the dark.

The atmosphere was just right.

Jing Huan placed his hand on the back of his head and opened the folder sent by his friend.

The covers for the videos were already a lot, and he went from top to bottom, opening up each one.

This one was too ugly.

This one was too old.

This one's chest wasn't even as big as his own.

… This one's chest was too big.

Dozens of videos, none of which he could slog through more than two minutes of.

After a moment, Jing Huan expressionlessly moved his fingers, deleted the file, and then opened the chat with his friend.

Xiao Jing ya: This was just a surprise inspection by me.

Friend: ?

Xiao Jing ya: I didn't expect you really had some.

Xiao Jing ya: I have already reported it.

Xiao Jing ya: Your account is gone.

Xiao Jing ya: [Please follow me.JPG]

Friend: ….

Friend: Damn you Jing Huan, I'm going to kill you.

Jing Huan covered his mouth and laughed for a long time. As he kept laughing, his laughter grew bitter.

Damn it.

Wasn't Laozi here looking for passion?

How could I just sit here laughing like a fool….

Boring.

It was too boring.

He laid on his back, holding his cellphone and scrolled through microblogs. Gradually, Jing Huan yawned and wondered if he should just go to sleep.

Ding.

Xiang: I'm in the dorms now.

Jing Huan bolted upright from his bed.

Xiao Jing ya: Oh.

Xiang: Going to sleep?

Xiao Jing ya: No.

Xiang: Play the game?

Xiao Jing ya: Oh.

Xiao Jing ya: Okay ba.

Xiao Jing ya: I'll get up.

Jing Huan sent three messages in a row, trying to not appear too irritated and then hurriedly got up from the bed.

Yearning For had already appeared at their house and was standing by the servant. It looked like they were having a conversation.

"What are you doing?" Asked Jing Huan.

"Storing supplements."

"Don't store anymore! I'm giving birth tomorrow—"

Fuck.

Jing Huan only realized what he said sounded off after he said it.

Xiang Huaizhi paused, then he looked back at the person singing in the bathroom and said, "Turn off the voice changer."

"Ah, why?"

"No one else is here."

"Forget it, I'm too lazy to turn it off." Jing Huan said.

Don't you just like the voice changer?

Putting it on for you to listen to, aren't you happy?

"I want to hear your voice," Xiang Huaizhi said.

"…"

Half a minute later, the boy's clear and clean voice came into his ear. "It's off."

Xiang Huaizhi's lips gently curled up, and then he moved his fingers and tossed the children's book on him to Xiao Tianjing.

Jing Huan was stunned. "What is this?"

"It's for raising Fairy Fox Cave children." Xiang Huaizhi said, "I've written down all the plans, you can just follow it and feed them."

Before Jing Huan could say anything, Xiang Huaizhi had sent him a document.

It was a guide he hadn't seen before. During this period, he had found many guides, and most of the famous ones he had saved. This one should have been created by Xiang Huaizhi himself.

A child raised according to their own plans must be more likable.

Jing Huan thought about it and saved the guide.

Xiao Tianjing was pregnant and couldn't do many activities. Xiang Huaizhi teamed up with him and took him for a stroll around the main city, looking like they were browsing through the stalls.

Although they didn't really do anything, Jing Huan didn't feel bored anymore.

He stared at the game for an eternity, until a friend request popped up on his WeChat interface, and he came back to his senses.

Friend Request: [Hello Jing Huan, I'm Liang Mengjia from your class.]

Jing Huan's fingertips froze, and only after a while did he accept.

Liang Mengjia: Excuse me~

Liang Mengjia: … I didn't add the right person ba?

This profile picture… This name… Except for the word "Jing", nothing here matched the sunny, handsome boy in her class.

At first, Liang Mengjia suspected that her friends had sent her the wrong WeChat.

Xiao Jing ya: No mistake.

Liang Mengjia: Oh oh, that's good.

After a few minutes.

Liang Mengjia: … Are you still there?

Xiao Jing ya: Yes.

Liang Mengjia: …

Liang Mengjia: Actually, I came here to ask you for some help. [covers my face]

Xiao Jing ya: Speak.

Liang Mengjia: I saw you talking with Xiang Huaizhi today. Are you two very close?

Not close.

We only kissed twice.

Xiao Jing ya: Sort of.

Liang Mengjia: Oh oh, it's actually not a big thing, I just wanted to ask you for his WeChat, is that okay?

Liang Mengjia: Are you still there?

Jing Huan set his hand on the keyboard and didn't reply.

At this moment, the left side of his screen had Liang Mengjia's chat box, and the right side of his screen had Xiang Huaizhi's baby rearing plan.

Jing Huan had just wanted to start typing, but suddenly saw a line of small characters appear on the document.

The font was small, and it was on the last line of the parenting plan.

It said: Xiao Xiangjing's parenting book.

"…"

Liang Mengjia: ?_?

Xiao Jing ya: Here.

Xiao Jing ya: It's not convenient ba, he has a girlfriend.

Liang Mengjia: I've inquired about this, but everyone says he doesn't… Do you know who his girlfriend is?

Xiao Jing ya: Yes.

Liang Mengjia: Who?

Me.

Jing Huan typed out the word, but he paused and didn't send it out.

A few minutes later, he closed Liang Mengjia's chat box and while he was at it, also deleted the person.

He cut back to the game, only to find Xiang Huaizhi leading him through a two-person Christmas event.

If you wanted to cut into an active battle, all the teammates on the team must agree.

Jing Huan was stunned. He clicked "Agree" and entered the battle scene. He asked, "I was just looking at something else… Why didn't you call me?"

"Afraid that you fell asleep." Xiang Huaizhi replied.

It was very quiet at night during the winter, with no cicadas or noise from the street.

So at the moment, Jing Huan could clearly hear his heart beating, fast and powerful. Faster than when he was with anyone else.

After the battle, Jing Huan took a long breath and leaned back into the chair.

After a few seconds, he raised his hand and slowly covered his eyes.

Jing Huan felt like… It seemed that he had been bent.

It seemed that he had fallen for Xiang Huaizhi.

—

Juurensha: !!! Through jealousy and watching "videos," Huanhuan finally admitted his own feelings!

Divi: Finally, will we see the fluff when both parties like each other??? You know you like him when you start getting jealous at rivals aha.

And we have another fic (besides mine!) with an alternate view of how the confession/identity reveal could have gone here!

And we have a fanart page!

And be sure to support the raws!