Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating

Edited by Divetus

Jing Huan pretended to be calm, his back was ramrod straight and he asked, "You'll really kill them?"

"En." Xiang Huaizhi said, drying his hair.

Xiao Tianguo was a side account that had no lethality at all. Even a cutesy new person operating Yearning For's account could wipe out this person in two moves.

Jing Huan had very slow movements, even after four moves he still hadn't killed off the other person.

There was one question constantly floating through his head right now——

Was Xiang Huaizhi gay?

No matter how obtuse he was towards the other boy, he could vaguely detect something wasn't quite right.

Leaving aside everything else, what man would call himself another boy's "husband"?

At the same time, he also didn't understand himself.

Logically, if Lu Wenhao had burst out with the word husband in front of him, he would send Lu Wenhao flying all the way back to his hometown with one blow.

Seeing that Jing Huan kept delaying killing her, Xiao Tianguo was happy from the bottom of her heart. She thought that Yearning For's attempt of killing her was some kind of silent response.

[Current] Xiao Tianguo: Gege, are you in a bad mood? I can keep you company with my voice oh.

"Finish them." Xiang Huaizhi watched him take forever and still not finish the battle, and he raised an eyebrow while asking, "Didn't you have a good time playing in the arena last time?"

As soon as Xiang Huaizhi's voice fell, Jing Huan unsheathed a blade and killed Xiao Tianguo back to the rebirth point.

"I'm not very used to your mouse," Jing Huan coughed.

Jing Huan was a little flustered now.

He should have figured it out earlier. When two boys meet, why was the meeting place set at the dormitory???

He let his imagination run wild and subconsciously raised his eyes.

Xiang Huaizhi's gray bed sheets were arranged thickly, neatly tucked corners showing through, and was obviously very warm.

After a few seconds, Jing Huan suddenly regained his composure.

Fuck.

What was Laozi looking at other people's beds for!

Letting my imagination run wild, I'm a seven foot tall man, could I actually be overpowered?!

Xiang Huaizhi didn't know what he was thinking. He stared at Jing Huan's red ears and wanted to laugh.

"You sit, I'll go blow dry my hair." He said.

Jing Huan, as if granted amnesty, nodded and said, "Blow dry it well. It's cold now so it's easy to catch a cold."

The electrical outlet was under the air conditioner, a bit far away from Xiang Huaizhi's bed. As soon as Xiang Huaizhi walked a bit further away, Jing Huan let out a long breath.

He suspected that he would suffocate sooner or later.

Jing Huan relaxed his shoulders and neck a little and continued to do dailies. On the way, he opened the friends list out of habit—normally when he was doing dailies, he would always check what Yearning For was up to.

It was only when he saw the unfamiliar friends list that he remembered that this wasn't his own account.

He saw Xiang Huaizhi's friend groups.

There were only two groups, one was the default group of the system, titled "Friend", and the other was a separate group titled "En" that only contained one person.

Jing Huan, with some devilish impulse, clicked on "En".

Xiao Tianjing was lying quietly in it.

He looked down and saw the personal signature he had set who knows when: [Gege's little attendant ^▽^].

He had never looked at himself, so he hadn't thought anything of it, but when he looked at it now, this signature was honestly too coy.

Jing Huan was so shocked by his past self that goosebumps rose on his arm. He quickly closed the group and thought to change this character's signature as soon as he got home.

He'd be just like Xiang Huaizhi and change it to just a period, that'd be pretty cool.

Thinking like that, he subconsciously clicked on Xiang Huaizhi's character signature.

[Just be happy. ]

"…"

After blow drying his hair, Xiang Huaizhi set the blow dryer back in place, and when he came back, he saw Jing Huan afking in the main city. His whole person was leaning against the chair, both hands clasped together.

"Finished playing?" Xiang Huaizhi asked.

Jing Huan let out an "en" sound. "Just finished your dailies. Someone just asked you to go do instances, but I didn't reply… You can reply for yourself ba."

"Then, I just won't reply," Xiang Huaizhi pulled Lu Hang's chair over and sat right beside Jing Huan.

Fuck.

Jing Huan tried very hard to control his facial expression and frenziedly told himself in his heart——

"Just Be Happy" was a common phrase.

It had nothing to do with his name meaning, which he explained at the barbecue that day.

Don't flatter yourself!

The two boys sat there quietly, the atmosphere was gradually moving towards being an awkward situation. Jing Huan was trying to come up with something to say when Xiang Huaizhi's cellphone broke the peace first.

Xiang Huaizhi glanced at it. It was a WeChat call from Chunxiao.

When he picked up the call, he directly turned on the speakerphone, and Chunxiao's voice sounded out of it.

"God Xiang," Chunxiao asked, "You and Xiao Tianjing really can't come?"

Jing Huan was stunned and looked at Xiang Huaizhi doubtfully.

"En." Xiang Huaizhi said, "They didn't bring a computer."

Chunxiao paused, “Didn’t bring a computer&#k2026; What do you mean? Are they out?”

“Right beside me.” Xiang Huaizhi replied.

Chunxiao: “&#k2026;”

Jing Huan: “&#k2026;”

"Weekend ba, I'm sorry. At that time, I'll pay for everyone's repairs." Xiang Huaizhi said.

“It’s okay. My wife has a test tomorrow, so this free time is just perfect for her to study more.” Chunxiao paused and then gently said, “Then, I won’t disturb you two.”

Hanging up the phone, Jing Huan asked in confusion and in embarrassment, "Did you guys make an appointment to do instances?"

"No, how can we do instances while you're pregnant?" Xiang Huaizhi answered. "We made an appointment to do the Battle of Evil Spirits."

The Battle of Evil Spirits was another large-scale battle, but because it had come out later, the system hasn't had the time to categorize it as "actions that injure the fetus".

Jing Huan slowly said, "Oh, I actually thought that…"

It turned out that Xiang Huaizhi had sneakily made an appointment to allow him to do an instance.

No wonder when he first came into the room, Xiang Huaizhi had looked at his hands. He was, of course, trying to figure out where his computer was.

Fuck.

Then, what had he been thinking of just now?

"What did you think it was?" Xiang Huaizhi was typing, explaining the situation to the guild members who he had made the appointment with. When he finished, he raised his eyes and couldn't help laughing, "Did you think I just called you over here to do my dailies for me?"

Jing Huan vaguely said, "En."

"I wouldn't just use you like that."

After he finished speaking, Xiang Huaizhi put his cellphone on the table, accidentally touching the pen at the corner of the table. The pen flicked up gently and landed on the ground. When the tip of the pen hit the ground, it bounced against Jing Huan's shoes.

Jing Huan's concerns had been halfway eliminated, and his entire person was much more relaxed. He bent down in front of Xiang Huaizhi. "I'll pick it up."

He picked up the pen with his fingers and was just about to get up when he heard the sound of another object falling to the ground, which was even clearer than the sound just now.

Jing Huan turned his head and saw a red and white lip balm lying on the ground—the one from his pocket.

Jing Huan's heart nearly skipped a beat. He immediately stretched out his hand to pick it up, but unfortunately, he hadn't even reached the lip balm when it was picked up by someone else.

Xiang Huaizhi held the lip balm, lowered his eyes to read the packaging, quietly reading out loud, "Moisten your lips… Strawberry flavor."

Jing Huan froze once again.

He looked up, his eyes quickly blinking from his guilty conscience. He managed to pull out a smile. "If I said that it was Lu Wenhao who gave it to me, would you believe it?"

Xiang Huazhi's smile was very light. "Yes."

Jing Huan stretched out his hand to receive the lip balm, but Xiang Huaizhi retracted his hand, letting the lip balm fall into the center of his palm.

"Then, did you put some on?" Xiang Huaizhi asked.

Jing Huan: "…"

Xiang Huaizhi wasn't looking at him.

Xiang Huaizhi was looking at his lips.

The strange atmosphere, which had been so hard to dissipate, surrounded Jing Huan again. He reflexively wanted to purse his lips but also felt it would be too deliberate.

He let out a dry laugh, "Anyway, it was a gift. If I don't use it, that'd be a waste."

Xiang Huaizhi didn't speak and just looked at him. His dark brown eyes seemed to have magical powers that could easily cause people's hearts to speed up and beat faster.

Jing Huan was a little flustered.

Was he overthinking things, why did he feel like… Xiang Huaizhi wanted to come up and kiss him?

No way.

This time, we must not be muddleheaded and do such things.

Jing Huan thought of a hundred ways to deal with the situation and gently clenched his fist.

Although he was definitely guilty, he couldn't just play around with Xiang Huaizhi out of guilt.

If Xiang Huaizhi really tried to come up and kiss him, he would…

He'd hit him.

He'd hit his shoulder ba, the shoulder shouldn't hurt too much.

A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts.

Xiang Huaizhi gently frowned, and then loosened his hand. He put the lip balm on the table with a clack.

Jing Huan felt that Xiang Huaizhi wasn't setting down the lip balm but his heart instead.

Lu Hang waited outside for a while. He raised his hand and wanted to knock again when the door opened with a squeak.

He smiled and had just wanted to say something when he suddenly found that his bosom roommate didn't look very friendly.

Xiang Huaizhi blocked the door and asked, "Weren't you going to the KTV?"

"…" Lu Hang said, "I heard that there weren't any Meimei, so I didn't want to go. What's fun about just singing with a bunch of old guys. Of course, most importantly, I wanted to come back to accompany you."

After a few seconds of silence, Xiang Huaizhi opened the door to let him in.

Lu Hang looked completely confused.

Why did he have the impression that, if he hadn't answered well, he wouldn't have been able to enter the dorm?

Lu Hang pushed the door open and came in. Seeing that there was another person in the dorm, he was stunned.

"Jing Huan?" After clearly seeing the person in the chair, he asked, "Why are you here?"

"I," Jing Huan panicked a bit and blurted out, "came to help my Ge do his dailies."

Lu Hang: "…"

Xiang Huaizhi's face stayed the same. "En."

"Don't you not play NCH anymore?" Lu Hang took off his coat.

Jing Huan instinctively looked toward the person beside him.

Xiang Huaizhi answered, "It's just that he doesn't play anymore, it doesn't mean he forgot how to play."

"You're also really something. Did you specifically tell him to come out to help you complete your dailies?" Lu Hang asked.

"It's not like that. I came back to the dorms today to eat hot pot, and it was on the way," Jing Huan got up from his chair. "Fortunately, I finished just now, so I'll go back first and won't disturb your rest."

"Don't, don't, don't." Lu Hang called out to him quickly and said with a big smile, "You already came here, so could you also help me complete a few?"

"You don't have hands?" Xiang Huaizhi asked.

"Didn't you also get Jing Huan to help you complete them? Don't have double standards ah," Lu Hang said, "Okay, Huanhuan? My hands are so frozen that I don't want to take off my gloves."

He was already standing right in front of him, so Jing Haun naturally didn't mind too much.

While he was doing the quests, Lu Hang leaned on the table and drank yogurt with his back to him.

"Huanhuan, you're a very good person," Lu Hang said. "Oh right, did you like the gift I gave you?"

Jing Huan replied, "I really like it."

"Was it a lot better than what Xiangxiang gave you?" Lu Hang asked.

Jing Huan: "…"

Jing Huan responded, "About the same, I liked them all very much."

He controlled the warlock to go to the sect when his friend's notifications lit up.

He instinctively opened it.

[Friend] Yearning For: ?

[Friend] Long Road Ahead: …

Shit.

I'm not the original player.

Don't try to whisper secrets to me!

Xiang Huaizhi was lazily sitting there, and the sound of the keyboard typing away or pausing all landed in Jing Huan's ears.

Jing Huan's heart was pounding. He didn't know what Xiang Huaizhi might send, and he was afraid that Lu Hang would turn around and see the messages flowing between them.

Fortunately, Lu Hang didn't turn around until after he finished the quest.

Xiang Huaizhi also didn't send over any more messages.

"Done," Jing Huan cleared the chat record, stood up, and breathed a sigh of relief. "Then, I'll be heading back now."

"Good job, good job," Lu Hang pounded his shoulder twice. "Next time, Ge will treat you to the expensive Japanese restaurant in the city."

Jing Huan laughed and said, "Okay."

"Oh right, class monitor asked me to apologize to you, saying that we didn't intentionally mean to pump you full of alcohol." Lu Hang said.

Jing Huan shook his head. "It's okay, I didn't actually drink too much."

"They were still discussing it today, saying that we should all go to the city together for Christmas and told me to invite you," Lu Hang said. He threw away the yogurt box and asked him, "How about it? Are you interested? As long as you come it's good, it's not AA."

Jing Huan smiled. Just as he was about to answer, a scarf was wrapped around his neck.

Xiang Huaizhi said, "If you don't head back soon, the back gate will be closed."

Lu Hang looked at the scarf and said, "This… Isn't this the gift you gave Huanhuan, why is it back with you?"

Xiang Huaizhi didn't pay any attention to him, but asked the person next to him, "Are you leaving?"

The scarf that had gone around and around had once again come back to him. Jing Huan even thought that it now had Xiang Huaizhi's smell, but specifically what smell it was, he couldn't figure it out. Either way, it smelled nice.

Jing Huan quickly wrapped the scarf around himself. "Then, I'll be leaving."

Only to see Xiang Huaizhi put on his coat.

"I'll see you out."

The two of them walked out of the dorm, and Lu Hang went back to his seat and said to himself happily, "Both are big men, yet still insists to see him out, quite strange."

*

Jing Huan put his hands in his pocket. When he came out of the dorm room and breathed in the fresh air, he felt a lot happier.

"You don't need to see me out." Jing Huan thought that Xiang Huaizhi was afraid that the dorm gate would be closed, and that the dorm monitor wouldn't let him out. He said with a smile, "I'm familiar with the dorm monitor, she didn't confiscate my four power strips. When I moved out, I also gave a power strip to her so she should remember me."

Xiang Huaizhi wasn't worried about whether or not he could leave the dorm.

On the staircase, Jing Huan walked in front, thinking about whether he would like to buy some midnight snacks to eat later.

"Jing Huan." When they had walked to a certain landing, Xiang Huaizhi called out to him.

Jing Huan was walking near the wall. As soon as he heard him and turned his head around, he was gently pulled by Xiang Huaizhi.

He was unprepared, and his back landed against the wall.

Xiang Huaizhi bent down and kissed him.

Jing Huan was confused, and the first thought he had in his mind was—cold.

What was the matter with Xiang Huaizhi ah, his lips and fingers were always so cold, were his kidneys bad…?

These inexplicable thoughts all goddamn disappeared the moment Xiang Huaizhi sucked at his lips.

It wasn't just a touch this time.

Xiang Huaizhi had one hand propped up beside him, as if afraid that he would fall down the stairs, and his other hand was holding the corner of his clothing. He was kissing him disorderly, tender and feverently.

Jing Huan's hand balled up into a fist.

He put his fist on Xiang Huaizhi's chest, and had just wanted to take action when he heard several footsteps coming from downstairs.

Jing Huan's heart was about to burst, and he didn't dare to move his hand for a while.

"You came out to take out the garbage too?" It turned out to be Lu Wenhao's voice.

The big garbage cans on each floor of their dormitory were placed in the corner of the stairwell.

"Obviously. Would I come here to sleep?"

Lu Wenhao laughed, "Play cards or not?"

"Not playing, no money. I want to buy presents for my girlfriend when Christmas comes."

"Don't you want to try and win some money to buy something even nicer for your girlfriend?"

The sound of footsteps gradually disappeared, and Jing Huan felt that he almost suffocated to death on the stairwell.

He clenched his fist.

Damn it, if Lu Wenhao had found out just now…

He would've killed Lu Wenhao to stop him from talking.

In the dark, Xiang Huaizhi stood up straight and asked him in a low voice, "What did Lu Hang give you?"

Fuck.

You're asking that kind of question right now?

You're not about to give me a damn apology???

Jing Huan pushed a bit against Xiang Huaizhi's fist. "I don't know, I haven't opened it yet."

Xiang Huaizhi felt a bit of pain, but not only did he not back off, he also laughed.

He had never dated anyone before and had never even liked anyone, but now, he finally understood what it was like to date someone.

All in all…. Being alone wasn't that great.

"I'm sorry." Xiang Huaizhi said, "I was a bit rough while kissing you."

Jing Huan walked out of the school with the cold wind blowing on his forehead for a few minutes, but he still didn't snap out of his daze.

His cellphone suddenly vibrated for a bit, and Jing Huan took it out to look at it.

Lu Wenhao: [Photo]

Lu Wenhao: Huanhuan, what are you doing downstairs?

The picture was of him from the back. Jing Huan looked back, and Lu Wenhao was waving at him at the window with a sweet smile.

Jing Huan looked at him for a few seconds, slowly raised his hand, made a very unfriendly gesture towards him, and then under Lu Wenhao's blank and innocent eyes turned back around.

When he saw Lu Wenhao, he thought of what had happened on the stairwell just now, and the urge to beat someone up came welling up again——

Damn it.

Just count it as an early apology to Xiang Huaizhi.

Otherwise, he wouldn't resist being able to use his fist.

Jing Huan walked all the way home and saw two black shadows near the apartment.

It was a man and a woman. They were kissing each other. They were kissing each other in such a formal manner that it looked like they were pecking at each other like chickens, without turning their heads.

"…"

Xiang Huaizhi was definitely gay!!!

Otherwise, how could he kiss, suck, and lick a guy——

Heterosexual love couldn't even fucking compare to you!!!

Jing Huan was still thinking about what had happened on the stairwell before going to bed. He thought about how to make things clear with Xiang Huaizhi, since, paying with his life didn't mean to pay with his body. But as he kept on thinking about it over and over again, his thoughts drifted further away.

He came out of the dormitory in such a hurry that he hadn't zipped up his coat. When Xiang Huaizhi had clutched at the corner of his T-shirt, his fingers had gently brushed against his skin, carrying a cool sensation.

While they were kissing, also… Because of the problem with their positions, some sounds had come out.

The more Jing Huan thought about it, the more he thought that something was wrong.

Ten minutes later, he slowly sat up from the bed.

Then slowly, step by step, he pulled up his blanket and disbelievingly looked underneath it.

"…"

"？？？"

Hello?

Little brother?

You've mistaken the person for someone else ba???

—

Juurensha: Ahahaha, in case it wasn't obvious, Huanhuan got hard thinking about the kiss (and possibly during the kiss too?) XHZ is just going for it while somehow Huanhuan just figured out XHZ is gay… (Huanhuan, it took you a bit, and three kisses, but you pieced it together!)

Divi: Finally, Huanhuan realizes that they're not just bros…. XHZ wants you man, glad you understand now. Hao'er was so close to death!!

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