Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating

Edited by Divetus

Jing Huan looked at Xiang Huaizhi withdrawing from the team and said, "Just find a place anywhere to AFK."

Xiang Huaizhi didn't move but rather asked him, "Not going to go rest?"

Jing Huan was shocked for a moment. "I still need to pick up takeout."

"I'll help get it for you," Xiang Huaizhi glanced at the map he was in and quickly figured out his purpose. "Did you want to get azure dragon teeth?"

Azure dragon teeth were the crafting material Jing Huan had wanted to farm.

Jing Huan let out an "en" sound. "It's not easy to collect, I just wanted to try and get it while doing this map."

Xiang Huaizhi nodded. "I'll help you farm."

Jing Huan: "?"

Creating such a big mess was one thing, but now he was having Xiang Huaizhi run his catfishing account for him to go farm materials?

Jing Huan's scalp turned numb at the thought.

He looked at his own avatar and then at Xiang Huaizhi's profile.

The bridge of his nose was so high.

No… Was this the damn time to think about that??

Jing Huan really didn't want to sleep, but right now he was weak, and his eyelids felt heavy. Especially after taking the medicine, his sleepiness came up like the tide.

He shook his head. "I'm not sleepy."

As he finished saying that, he couldn't help yawning.

Jing Huan: "…"

Knowing what he was worried about, Xiang Huaizhi said, "I'm just going to help you get some azure dragon teeth, I won't look at any of your secrets."

Jing Huan's expression grew complicated.

What secrets did his computer have?

NCH was his biggest secret!!!

If this was a normal situation, Jing Huan would've definitely moved a small stool to sit beside Xiang Huaizhi and watch him play the game.

But today he had a really bad fever, and even the simplest swallowing action pained him enough to make him frown.

Xiang Huaizhi focused his eyes on him. "Good afternoon."

Jing Huan: "…"

Jing Huan replied, "Good afternoon…"

Jing Huan took his cell phone and climbed into bed with a broken psyche.

He thought that he would be too nervous to sleep, but in fact, the moment his head had touched the pillow, sleepiness densely enveloped him like the rain outside..

After a moment, his cellphone slipped from his hand and randomly rolled to the side of the pillow.

Xiang Huaizhi moved the mouse and easily grabbed the big boss of the wild map that just spawned..

Every six hours, a big boss would spawn in all the wild maps, and the chance of it dropping special rewards was very high. The boss of this wild map was particularly difficult to grab.

However, the difficulty of the battle was low. While Xiang Huaizhi was operating the character, he still had time to shoot a glance at the person in bed.

Jing Huan's blanket had a Naruto-themed print on them, and the part of the blanket which covered him just happened to be of Naruto, which was steadily moving up and down.

Xiang Huaizhi looked at him for several seconds before withdrawing his gaze. In the game, the Nine-Tailed Fox shook its tails and knocked the big boss to the ground.

[You gained 2 copper]

[You gained 1011 experience points]

[You gained Azure Dragon Tooth X1]

Xiang Huaizhi opened his inventory and glanced inside. Jing Huan had dragged the azure dragon tooth to be by itself in the item bar's bottom right corner. Currently, there were only two of them.

Xiang Huaizhi hesitated a bit before deciding to log into his own account to send out a few megaphones to receive some goods.

Before he could reopen the client, a friend message came in.

[Friend] Qiufeng: Xiao Jingjing, why did you leave the team ah.

[Friend] Qiufeng: ?

[Friend] Qiufeng: You even left me to grab the boss yourself…

Qiufeng talked like this, but in fact, he didn't have any other intentions. He basically had this attitude towards all girls, intimate and ambiguous, unbridledly testing the border between friends and lovers. This made him a "good friend" of many girls.

[Friend] Qiufeng: Why aren't you replying to me [wipes tears]. How is it, did the boss drop an azure dragon tooth?

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: Not the original person.

[Friend] Qiufeng: Ah? Pfft, don't tell me it's the small takeout Gege?

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: It's his husband.

[Friend] Qiufeng: ?

Qiufeng felt like this was probably her roommate playing a prank.

[Friend] Qiufeng: Haha, which husband of hers?

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: The husband in her title.

Qiufeng’s brain pulsated, and he really did open up Xiao Tianjing’s profile and refreshed it.

The title was still Yearning For’s wife, alright.

?

Qiufeng finally reacted, and suddenly his eyes flew wide open.

Yearning For and Xiao Tianjing met in real life??

So fast???

Have the two of them even been married for a week???

[Friend] Qiufeng: …God Xiang?

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: ?

[Friend] Qiufeng: It's nothing, you keep going.

Qiufeng originally was a bit dubious about the whole situation, until he returned from his stroll around the wild map and saw Yearning For appear and create a team with Xiao Tianjing to farm azure dragon teeth.

"I did wonder why Xiao Tianjing suddenly left when she was playing with us," Don't Ask when I'll Return said into the team channel. "So, God Xiang came over."

Qiufeng said, "It's not that God Xiang came over…"

It was that God Xiang had always fucking been there.

Qiufeng began to recollect what he had just said, and then considered Yearning For's attitude in the past… He was silent and took the team to the other end of the wild map, afraid that Yearning For would get unhappy and directly charge over and kill him.

Don't Ask when I'll Return said, "Hey, don't go ah. I want to tease Xiao Tianjing a bit."

"Don't tease her, aren't you happy being alive?" Qiufeng asked.

Don't Ask when I'll Return paused, "What do you mean?"

Qiufeng replied concisely and comprehensively, "God Xiang is using Xiao Tianjing's account right now."

Don't Ask when I'll Return laughed, "How is it that possible, wasn't she just chatting with us?"

The team channel went quiet for a few seconds.

Don't Ask when I'll Return spoke out, "Wait, is it what I'm thinking of? Impossible… "

Qiufeng shushed, "Shh."

Xiang Huaizhi made the team and farmed for ten minutes, but only managed to get one azure dragon tooth from both accounts.

He thought about it, opened up his friend list, and prepared to call over Lu Hang to get on a side account. One more account, one more chance to get the azure dragon tooth.

Jing Huan's friend's list was very simple, only having three groups.

One was titled "friends". There were dozens of people in it, most of them were guild members.

One was titled "teammates". Lu Hang and the rest of their team were in it.

The last one was titled "Hehe". The only person there was Xiang Huaizhi.

Looking at the separate group, the light in Xiang Huaizhi's eyes grew much softer.

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: Toss your side account to me.

[Friend] Long Road Ahead: …?

[Friend] Xiao Tianjing: I'm gathering azure dragon teeth, but I still need three more accounts.

Lu Hang checked the sender of the message and confirmed that he hadn't read it wrong before typing a response.

[Friend] Long Road Ahead: I'll open my side account. Where are you? I'll directly enter your team and if I get any, I'll give them to you.

Xiang Huaizhi directly sent his coordinates to him.

As soon as Lu Hang joined the team, he began to chirp away.

"What are you gathering azure dragon teeth for? Are you going to make equipment? Yi, why is Xiangxiang's account also here, are you using it? Xiao Jingjing, while you're there, take a look in his account and see how many potions he has. Help me to steal some."

The person in bed turned over, and Xiang Huaizhi turned down the speakers' volume. With the voice changer on, he wasn't afraid of Lu Hang recognizing him, so he directly pressed the voice key and said, "No, scram."

Lu Hang was stunned in front of his computer.

The mature and powerful voice of a domineering jie pierced through the center of his heart.

A few seconds later, Lu Hang returned to his senses. "Hm? What little Jiejie is this? Are you Xiao Jingjing's roommate? You also play NCH? Which server are you in ah, do you want to come and play in our server? We just merged servers, and now it's a very lively server. If you come, I'll take you to play every day ah…"

Xiang Huaizhi took a deep breath and then moved his fingers to mute Lu Hang's microphone in the team channel.

After farming for a while, a noisy ringtone suddenly rang. Xiang Huaizhi immediately got up, took two steps to the bedside, and picked up the wildly ringing cellphone.

"Hello, I'm from x group. I'm outside now."

Xiang Huaizhi hung up, took the bag from the delivery man, only to see the additional instructions posted on the bag: "The computer is loud, can't hear the doorbell, so call directly, thank you!"

The medicine chosen by the pharmacy was exactly the same as those bought by Xiang Huaizhi. He put them on the dining table, and just as he was going back to farm materials, he found that he was still holding Jing Huan's cellphone..

He went to the bed, put the cellphone back by the pillow, and then his eyes moved to Jing Huan's face.

The boy seemed to have been bothered by the phone, his eyebrows were slightly furrowed and he had half of his face off the pillow. His thin pale hand was curled on the pillow, and his face was also suffused with an abnormally red flush, but compared to before, it had faded a lot.

Xiang Huaizhi reached out and placed the back of his hand against Jing Huan's cheek.

A scalding sensation rose up from his fingers, and Xiang Huaizhi's hand reached higher and touched his forehead.

Jing Huan had a dream.

He dreamed that he was walking in the desert. The sun was hanging over his head, the heat was stifling, and his mouth was dry.

At this time, an ice pack appeared out of the sky. Before he could grab it, the ice pack was set onto his forehead. It was cool and comfortable, and enough to make a person sigh.

But it wasn't enough.

So, he reached for the ice pack and joyfully stuffed it onto his neck.

Still a bit hot.

Looking up at the clock, Xiang Huaizhi was estimating the next time Jing Huan needed to take his medicine when his wrist was suddenly grasped.

Jing Huan's palm was also hot. He gently grasped him with hardly any strength.

Xiang Huaizhi had just wondered what he was going to do when his hand was taken over and placed directly onto Jing Huan's neck.

Xiang Huaizhi froze, his eyes slightly widened, and his face showed a rare expression of being at a loss for what to do.

Lu Hang had once said that his ex-girlfriend's skin was very good, with pale and soft hands. He had also said that girls naturally had fragrant and soft skin, which was a treasure of the world.

When Xiang Huaizhi felt the skin beneath his fingers, he pursed his lips and suddenly felt that what Lu Hang said wasn't completely accurate.

"Jing Huan?" Xiang Huaizhi called out tentatively.

Jing Huan mumbled vaguely, without letting go or responding.

Xiang Huaizhi only then found out that he was still sleeping.

He stood still for a moment, then slowly pulled his hand away and gently rubbed Jing Huan's hair.

Xiang Huaizhi went back to the computer desk and saw an explosion of friend messages.

[Friend] Long Road Ahead: Why doesn't little Jiejie talk.

[Friend] Long Road Ahead: Hello?

[Friend] Long Road Ahead: If you don't want to come to our server, we can add each other on WeChat to get to know one another ah. [shy]

[Friend] Long Road Ahead: I'm not a strange person. I'm Xiao Jingjing's teammate, you'll know if you ask her.

[Friend] Long Road Ahead: Little Jiejie?

Xiang Huaizhi's hand still held traces of Jing Huan's warmth.

It took a long time for him to grab hold of the mouse again to close Lu Hang's messages one by one.

*

When Jing Huan woke up, the room was dark, only being lit by the dim light of the computer screensaver.

His mind went blank for a moment, and it took him some time to finally sit up in bed to look around nervously.

What about Xiang Huaizhi?

He scanned around for a while but couldn't find him. Jing Huan even turned his head and opened up the blanket beside him—it was also empty.

He breathed out a careful sigh of relief and then began to wonder about his action just now.

No… How could he think that Xiang Huaizhi would appear under his blanket?

As soon as he woke up, he clearly felt that he had more strength in his body. He reached out and touched his forehead, finding that it wasn't feverish anymore.

He opened the curtains around him and looked outside. Only the solitary lights of the streetlamps reflected in the window, the nearby building lights were almost all out.

It looked like it was actually midnight.

His throat was dry. Jing Huan had just wanted to get out of bed and pour himself a glass of water when he saw a glass of water on his bedside table.

He picked it up and chugged down most of it, then turned his head and laid back down in bed.

Jing Huan stared at the ceiling in a daze and then slowly reached for his cellphone under the pillow.

The screen was filled with message notifications. The phone was too bright, and Jing Huan squinted as he opened up WeChat.

Seeing the message notification from Xiang Huaizhi, his heart leapt, and he instinctively clicked on it.

Xiang: I went back. Your fever subsided, so you don't need to take fever-reducing medicine anymore.

Xiang: I bought two boxes of instant porridge and put them in the kitchen. If you get take-out in the middle of the night, eat that, otherwise, if you don't get any take-out you can eat the porridge.

Jing Huan continuously reread these two messages over and over again.

It wasn't a dream.

Xiang Huaizhi really came, and he really did confess everything.

Xiang Huaizhi didn't curse him out.

Not only did he not curse him out, but he had also briefly touched him.

Jing Huan suddenly felt that his left cheek was burning hot. He licked his lips, opened the keyboard, and wanted to reply, but when he glanced at the time, it was 4 a.m.

Jing Huan silently withdrew his fingers that had just been ready to type out a message.

Jing Huan exited out of that chat and started reading his other messages.

Lu Wenhao: Huanhuan, what are you doing, are you feeling better?

Lu Wenhao: [picture] Me and Xianger's hot pot for two.

The hot pot soup was red and oily, and Jing Huan had only glanced at it before his stomach already hurt.

Xiao Jing ya: Did you have diarrhea yet?

Lu Wenhao: Holy shit.

Lu Wenhao: Replying to me at this time? Did you just wake up?

Xiao Jing ya: En.

Lu Wenhao: You gave me a scare, I was just reading your gossip when your message arrived.

Xiao Jing ya: What gossip about me?

Lu Wenhao: What else can it be, it's the school forum discussing that dumb matter. But really, the more they talk about it, the more ridiculous they get. If I didn't know you, I would almost already believe them.

Jing Huan turned over and had little interest in the matter.

Xiao Jing ya: Oh, what did they say?

Lu Wenhao: They said that they saw Senior Xiang come out of your rental building at 12 a.m.

Xiao Jing ya: ?

Lu Wenhao: They also said that you two had been inside for a long time, with even the curtains closed.

Xiao Jing ya: ….

Lu Wenhao: Don't you think it's funny? People not in the know would think that these schoolmates lived next door to you and were even peering through their curtains… This kind of rumor, if it was about a celebrity, they would get reported.

Jing Huan thought of the schoolmate who lived next door to him and typed slowly.

Xiao Jing ya: … Exactly.

Lu Wenhao: Right? I even helped you reply.

Xiao Jing ya: ?

Xiao Jing ya: Reply with what?

Lu Wenhao: I said that I'm your bro, and I know what's really going on, and that they shouldn't talk rubbish anymore. If you two had any kind of impure relationship, I'll stand on my head.

Xiao Jing ya: …

Xiao Jing ya: I'm going to sleep, 88 [rose]

—

Juurensha: Awwww, XHZ taking care of sick Huanhuan. And Hao'er, you're going to have to stand on your head….

Divi: Have fun handstanding Hao'er.

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