Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating

Edited by Divetus and Rega

Xiang Huaizhi had an absurd thought. It was so absurd that he even felt it was funny.

He pursed his lips and turned around so his back was facing the person on the sofa, then tapped on the list of WeChat functions on his phone, his finger hovering over the "voice call" icon.

Before he could tap on it, he heard that laptop ring again.

"Ding."

"Ding."

"Ding."

Then, the sound of Jing Huan typing started again.

Xiang Huaizhi looked at his screen that still had the three expressions on it. He didn't continue sending messages, and Xiao Tianjing hadn't replied to him either.

He couldn't tell what kind of feeling this gave him. Xiang Huaizhi breathed a sigh of relief and used his towel to wipe the wet strands of hair on his forehead.

…He must have been crazy to have had that kind of idea.

Lu Wenhao was the one messaging Jing Huan. He was asking him how to use the washing machine downstairs and had even sent him a photo.

Jing Huan taught him in two or three sentences, and then Lu Wenhao replied to him with a thumbs up.

Lu Wenhao: Such a clever wife and wise mother, have a kiss. [red lips]

Lu Wenhao: If you were a woman, I would take you home in a sedan chair.

Xiao Jing ya: Scram, how drunk are you?.

Xiao Jing ya: Even if Laozi were a woman, Laozi wouldn't marry you. Hurry up and wash your clothes.

After scolding the trash, Jing Huan cut back to texting Yearning For.

Xiao Jing ya: …QAQ are you Long Road Ahead!!

Xiang: En, he just took my cell phone away from me.

Xiao Jing ya: I knew it! Damn! [pounding table]

After chatting with Yearning For, Jing Huan closed the computer and glanced at the person standing by the bed.

Listening to his suggestion, Xiang Huaizhi had put on a bathrobe and was wiping his hair with a bath towel. From behind, the superiority of his broad shoulders was even more obvious.

"Senior, give me your clothes. I'll wash them with the rest of the clothes in the washing machine."

Rain dashed against the windows relentlessly. The windows were completely drenched. When Jing Huan tried to peer out, he could only see a haze of fuzzy green.

"Just setting it out to dry won't work. Let's stick it in the dryer ba."

Xiang Huazhi replied, "No need, I'll do it myself."

"It's fine, I have to do it anyway. Let's just wash it all in one load." Jing Huan pulled out his clothes from the suitcase and then realized. "Or are you a germaphobe?"

Xiang Huaizhi shook his head. He was just embarrassed to not only stay in someone's room, but also let them help wash his clothes. After all, they had only met a few times and weren't very familiar with each other.

Seeing through his thoughts, Jing Huan smiled with his clothes piled up in his arms. "Since you're not a germaphobe, I'll wash them all in one load."

Jing Huan wasn't especially careful when he was gathering up all the clothes, so Xiang Huaizhi saw a pair of black underwear hanging on the outside of the pile.

Xiang Huaizhi looked away. "…Okay, thank you."

The sound of running water came from the bathroom very quickly. Xiang Huaizhi sat at the edge of the bed and stared long and hard at the sofa.

The computer laid there quietly on the sofa, looking back at him.

For a moment, Xiang Huaizhi just blinked, and then shoved those inexplicable thoughts to the back of his mind.

He sat down on his desk as he wiped his hair, picked up his cellphone and clicked on WeChat moments. He dithered for a long time before finally opening the picture Xiao Tianjing had sent in the morning.

Xiao Jing ya: The weather is just right. [picture]

It was a landscape photo, but before Xiang Huaizhi could take a closer look, the sound of running water from the bathroom stopped. The boy opened the door and walked out.

Jing Huan had changed into a black sweater and flaxen colored shorts that ended right above his knees.

His legs were straight and pale. Although they were thinner than other boys’ legs, the lines of his muscles stood out when he walked.

Xiang Huaizhi couldn't help moving his gaze up to stare at Jing Huan's thighs, which were covered so thoroughly by his loose shorts that he couldn't even make out the outline of them.

Jing Huan felt Xiang Huaizhi's gaze on him as soon as he came out, so he also looked down and stared at his leg for a few seconds. "…What's the matter?"

Xiang Huaizhi responded calmly, "Your pants got wet."

Jing Huan said, "Oh, I didn't pay attention just now. I leaned against the sink. "

After drying their clothes, they went out to the hotel's restaurant.

Lu Wenhao and the others sat in the restaurant for a long time, lounging at a table by the window. They were enjoying the aesthetic of the rain while eating.

Seeing the two men walk into the restaurant side by side, Lu Wenhao couldn't help but mutter, "See? The two of them standing together are like models on a catwalk… Tch, the girl pouring water over there keeps stealing looks at them. I am completely justified in suspecting that the reason no girl has ever chased after me since I've come to this university is because Jing Huan has been stealing my spotlight."

Gao Zixiang didn't even raise his head. "You're overthinking it. Being single is your own problem. It has nothing to do with Huanhuan."

When Jing Huan came closer, he just heard this sentence. He casually chose an empty seat and sat down. "What are you saying about me?"

"We're saying you're so handsome." Lu Wenhao flattered him.

Jing Huan smiled and ignored him. Seeing that Xiang Huaizhi had finished pouring his cup of warm milk and walked over, he effortlessly reached over to pull out the chair beside him to make it easier for the other party to sit down.

Originally, Xiang Huaizhi had wanted to sit next to Lu Hang, but he paused and just sat down in the seat Jing Huan had pulled out.

"Do you drink milk?" he asked.

Jing Huan was stupefied. "You poured it for me?"

This was the last cup of hot milk in the restaurant's self-serve cafeteria. Without saying a word, Xiang Huaizhi placed the cup directly in front of him.

Jing Huan didn't refuse. He picked it up and drank most of it. He then noticed a black bag at Lu Wenhao's feet and asked, "What's that?"

Lu Wenhao replied, "Treasure."

Jing Huan opened the bag with his fingertips and looked inside. It actually turned out to be several bottles of red wine.

He said nothing. "…So those two big luggage cases were used to just store all this? "

"Yep, I stole it from my family's wine cellar, then hid it in those suitcases and got them out. I was afraid of them breaking, so I put a lot of other things inside to pad it. "

"Not afraid of your father beating you?"

"I have to go home first before he can beat me up. Why worry about him, let's have fun first, then deal with him." Lu Wenhao complacently said, "I've booked a KTV room. Let's go straight there after eating."

Jing Huan thought about it. His team wasn't going to be online tonight anyway, so he nodded. "Okay."

Xiang Huaizhi said, "You guys go ahead ba, I'll just stay in."

"No ah," Lu Hang swallowed his food, "let's go together ba. You didn't bring a computer with you anyway, what's the point of going back to the room?"

Xiang Huaizhi didn't like singing or that kind of scene. He moved his lips and wanted to refuse.

"Come on, senior." Jing Huan suddenly glanced sideways and looked at him with his chin up. "I promise to make sure they won't force you to drink."

Jing Huan had standard double eyelids with long and dense eyelashes. The hotel's decorative chandelier reflected in his eyes, making them glitter in the light

Xiang Huaizhi stared at him for a few seconds before getting up. "…Got it. I'll go get some food. "

Jing Huan also got up. "I'll go with you."

The two of them got up simultaneously and left together. Lu Hang stared at their backs and couldn't help asking, "Do they know each other really well?"

"No ba, just last time on the stairs, Xiang-ge helped Huanhuan out a bit."

Lu Wenhao was not interested in the friendship between the two men. He leaned closer to Lu Hang and said, "Lu Ge, hurry up, continue that story. What happened to that notorious female swindler in your district? "

*

Jing Huan was as good as his word. He said that he wouldn't let others force Xiang Huaizhi to drink, and he didn't even place a wine cup in front of Xiang Huaizhi.

Random music was playing in the background, the volume turned very low. Xiang Huaizhi sat casually on the sofa, watching the people around him compete with Lu Hang.

It seemed that Jing Huan hadn't spent a small amount of time at bars. He knew all the tricks to the games, and no matter which drinking game Lu Hang tried to switch to, he could pick it up really quickly.

It was really surprising. Just looking at him, he would have thought Jing Huan was a very obedient, good boy.

However, even if Jing Huan knew a lot of games, he still wasn't quite as good at them as Lu Hang, so he had already lost three games in a row.

"Fuck." Losing another game, he laughed and cursed, pouring himself another glass of wine.

Lu Hang had also drunk a lot. "Can you still keep going, underclassman? If not, you can let the person beside you drink for you, I'll let you."

He talked like he was concerned for Jing Huan, but his hands were restless. He helped Jing Huan tip the bottom of the bottle to completely fill up his glass.

Lu Wenhao said, "Me? No problem, Huanhuan, this Ge will help you drink this cup. "

"No, not you." Lu Hang stopped him and pointed to Xiang Huaizhi with his chin. "I meant the one on his right."

Xiang Huaizhi raised his eyebrows, giving Lu Hang a warning look, telling him to not go too far. Then he shifted, wanting to get up and help Jing Huan drink the wine.

Jing Huan held up his glass and drank it up. He wiped his mouth and said, "Finished. Keep going."

Jing Huan had learned how to drink from the beginning of his freshman year.

Lu Wenhao was not only bad at teaching, but he also taught bad habits. Jing Huan hadn't made it back to the dorms several times because Lu Wenhao had dragged him to a bar, and after drinking until he was about to collapse, he would just go sleep in a hotel.

However, drinking did help them decompress. As long as they didn't drink too often, it was fine. It was actually the first time they drank together since the start of their sophomore year.

Half an hour later, Jing Huan's cheeks were a little red.

"I'm going to rest a bit." Saying this, he plopped down onto the sofa and bumped into Xiang Huaizhi's shoulder.

"Ah, I ran into you again. Why am I always running into you?" Jing Huan turned around, and they were now very close to each other. "Senior, you don't sing ah?"

The smell of wine and shower gel on his body mixed together and wafted into Xiang Huaizhi's nose.

"…I don't sing. You should drink less, your face is already red."

Jing Huan raised his hand and patted his own face. "It's a little hot. It's okay. My alcohol tolerance is pretty good…"

Just after he finished saying that, the background music suddenly got louder, followed by a familiar, imposing prelude.

Lu Wenhao sat in front of the song station and shouted, "Huanhuan! Here's your song!"

Jing Huan took one look at the display screen — 《Loyalty to the Country》.

He smiled angrily. "Lu Wenhao, do you want to be beaten?"

"Hurry up, hurry up." Gao Zixiang handed over the microphone. "I said last time that you sang better than that woman. Lu Wenhao just didn't believe it. You have to sing and convince him today!"

When he usually went to KTV with them, they would often order some funny songs to sing. Jing Huan cursed at him a bit but still ended up taking the microphone and singing to the music.

He sang two sentences and got up to walk over to Lu Wenhao, poking him with his leg to signal to him that he wanted to pick a song himself.

Taking advantage of Jing Huan's absence, Lu Hang jumped up to Xiang Huaizhi's side.

"Fuck, it's that song again. How is it that I hear it everywhere I go recently." Lu Hang said, "Although really, Huanhuan sings it well, but I still like Xiao Jingjing's version."

Getting no response, he looked up doubtfully. "Lao Xiang…"

Xiang Huaizhi's eyebrows were furrowed, various emotions swirled in his eyes, and his gaze was wordlessly locked on Jing Huan.

After singing for a while, Lu Wenhao gathered them together to play dice.

Xiang Huaizhi found out that this underclassman was not only bad at drinking games but also bad at dice.

Tossing out such bad numbers, where could he get the strength to fight with others?

Sure enough, after losing several games, Jing Huan couldn't stand it anymore. They drank red beer mixed with red wine, and he ended up drinking the most. By the end of the game his head was spinning and his hands were shaking as he took up the glass.

Lu Hang also noticed. "Huanhuan, forget it, this time I won't make you drink…"

Before he had finished speaking, Jing Huan had already finished his glass. He waved. "It's okay… I'm okay. I'll go to the toilet. You guys can keep playing. When I come back, I'll continue."

After dropping this sentence, he stood up, leaning against the table, but because he was off-balance, he nearly fell onto Xiang Huaizhi.

"I will accompany you," Xiang Huaizhi said.

"No, no need." Jinghuan stepped into his shoes and walked out, muttering, "I can…"

Xiang Huaizhi got up, wanting to help him. Jing Huan then suddenly reached for his shoulder, stepping on his shoes again. "Senior, you really don't have to come! "

Xiang Huaizhi: "…"

Seeing him drunkenly stumble and sway, Xiang Huaizhi was still debating whether or not to go with him when Lu Wenhao said, "It's okay. Drunk Huanhuan still acts pretty normal. He doesn't make trouble, and he knows the way back. Last time he was drunk, he was able to walk back to school by himself from the hotel. He didn't go crazy on the way either. Pretty cool, right?"

"…"

That was a pretty strong talent.

Ten minutes later, Lu Wenhao touched his head. "It's over, but why hasn't Huanhuan come back yet?"

Lu Hang casually asked, "He's not going to walk back to school from the resort ba?"

There was a moment of silence in the room.

Xiang Huaizhi got up and said, "I'll go look."

The KTV was operated by the resort after all, it could only be booked through a guest room so the environment wasn't messy. The decorations in the hallway were exquisite and luxurious, making it look like a big hotel.

Xiang Huaizhi asked an attendant where the bathroom was while simultaneously planning where to look next, in case that the bathroom was empty.

As it turned out, however, he didn't need to go running around at all. The other boy was lying on the sofa outside the bathroom with his eyes closed, his shoulders slightly fluctuating in time with his breath.

Xiang Huaizhi walked up to his side and wordlessly put one of Jing Huan's arms over his shoulder and then placed his hand on Jing Huan's waist, pulling him up to stand.

Jing Huan seemed to notice his movements. He leaned himself completely against Xiang Huaizhi and frowned. "I can walk by myself."

Hearing that, Xiang Huaizhi let go a little, and Jing Huan collapsed on the sofa again, leaning his head forward a bit.

"…" Xiang Huaizhi found it funny and looked down at the man leaning against his thigh. "Didn't you say you could walk?"

Jing Huan rubbed against his leg and didn't speak.

Ten seconds later, Xiang Huaizhi finally realized that Jing Huan was using his legs as a pillow.

Xiang Huaizhi silently bent over and once again propped him up.

Lu Wenhao hadn't lied. Jing Huan didn't make any noise when he was drunk. Xiang Huaizhi smoothly helped him over to the elevator and even used one hand to call Lu Hang.

"I'll take him back to the room first."

Lu Hang replied, "We'll also head back soon. Nothing's wrong ba?"

"No." Xiang Huaizhi lowered his head to look down at Jing Huan and said, "He's just drunk."

After he finished the call, the elevator had also arrived. Xiang Huaizhi walked in and pressed 20.

"Who were you talking to?" The man leaning on his shoulder suddenly murmured and called out to him vaguely, "Gege."

—

Juurensha: !!! Also, hello guys! I'll be translating the chapters from here on out, and I'll try to put them up MWF!

Divi: Huanhuan you're so defenseless when you're drunk. You should know your bad luck, you'd end up in the same area as the one you're catfishing! ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ