Guide on How to Fail at Online Dating

Jing Huan snapped out of his stupor. He was just about to greet them when Lu Wenhao, who was beside him, got up first.

"Lu Ge? What a coincidence, why are you guys here too?" Lu Wenhao looked them up and down. "Why are you two… all wet?"

Lu Hang sighed. He reached out to flick away the rain water in the stray hairs on his forehead. "Don't talk about it anymore. We were climbing up a mountain just now when it just had to rain so heavily today… and when we wanted to drive down the mountain, the rain was so heavy that we could barely see the roads, so we could only come here to hide for a while."

Lu Wenhao, "The weather forecast for these next few days did say that it would rain, why would you guys choose to go hiking right now?"

Lu Hang, "Didn't watch that sort of thing."

Jing Huan drew a few tissues from the table and handed them to Xiang Huaizhi. "Senior, use these to wipe yourself off a little."

Xiang Huaizhi accepted them. "Thank you."

Lu Hang glanced at both of them. "The two of you know each other?"

Lu Hang had heard of Jing Huan before. Jing Huan was a little famous in their school; a lot of girls from their department liked to watch this little junior brother play basketball.

"We've met before." Xiang Huaizhi said.

Gao Zixiang introduced to him, "Huanhuan, this is another one of our seniors. He's called Lu Hang, he's in the same dorm as Senior Xiang, and he's the one we got to know at the player meet and greet. Senior, this is Jing Huan, our dorm mate."

"I know, I've heard of him a long time ago." Lu Hang asked enthusiastically, "What else did you guys say about me? What did you say I was like?"

"They said you're really strong in NCH." Jing Huan handed Lu Hang some tissues too.

"Thanks." Lu Hang wiped the water off his arm. "You play NCH too? Which server? You're pretty good at playing fairy fox caves, it can match up with the fairy fox cave in our party."

Jing Huan shook his head. "I played in the past; I've quit for a few years."

"Senior, your party has a fairy fox cave too?" Lu Wenhao asked out of curiosity, "How are they? How strong are they?"

Gao Zixiang, "Don't ask, they'll all be better than you anyway."

Lu Wenhao, "Will you fucking die if you don't put me down!!"

Lu Hang seemed to have thought of something and laughed. "Our party's fairy fox cave…"

He jerked his chin and pointed towards Xiang Huaizhi. "Is really strong, especially with him…"

Xiang Huaizhi asked out of consideration, "Want to get soaked in the rain again?"

Lu Hang shut up.

For some reason, Jing Huan kept feeling a little flustered.

His nape was sore and numb, and it was really uncomfortable.

I'd better not play with headphones on in the future, he thought, otherwise I'll think everyone sounds like Yearning For, then wouldn't that be horrible?

"Uh, Lu Ge, are you here to surf the net?" Lu Wenhao asked, "Or are you guys staying in this resort too?"

"No, our hotel's in the city. We booked late, so this resort had already run out of rooms by then." Lu Hang surveyed the surroundings, "We didn't know when the rain would stop either. Heard that there was an Internet cafe here, so we came to pass the time."

The computers in the cafe were arranged in rows of four. For their row, only Jing Huan had an empty seat beside him, so the other two couldn't sit there.

But the opposite four seats were empty.

"Okay, you guys can keep playing ba, we'll go log in." After Lu Hang spoke, he naturally went to the other end and turned on a computer.

Xiang Huaizhi cast a glance and sat opposite Jing Huan.

Jing Huan put on his earphones and started another round of PUBG.

Three male accompaniment players were jabbering on and on in his earphones. Jing Huan's in game character sat in the car, and he didn't need to operate it at all. His line of sight couldn't help but fall upon Xiang Huaizhi's hand that was holding a mouse.

Xiang Huaizhi had a large palm; the entire mouse was enveloped by his long and slender five fingers that made people can't help but glance at it a few more times.

After Jing Huan had enough of looking, he was about to shift his gaze when he saw Xiang Huaizhi suddenly tilt his head and look at him casually through the gap between two computers, "What are you looking at?"

After getting caught red handed for sneaking a peek, Jing Huan didn't feel embarrassed at all.

He took off one of his earphones and smiled. "Senior, your hand's really big, and you have nice fingers too."

After Jing Huan spoke, a fierce qiang noise came from his earphones. He quickly retracted his head and put on his earphones again. "I'm here, I'm here, I was talking to my friend just now… where are the people? OK see them."

After listening to his whimsical praise, Xiang Huaizhi smiled, then sat up straight and logged into the game.

Lu Hang, "Let's go do an instance ba? A simple five-man one. Xiao Jingjing's not around? I see her account afk-ing in Fairyland…"

Xiang Huaizhi didn’t see his friend list notifications light up and said immediately, “Not around.”

He hadn’t received any messages from a friend after he had been online for two minutes, so she was definitely not in front of a computer.

“Ok then. Come to the main city, I’ll grab a passer-by.”

After eating three chickens in a row, Jing Huan felt bored and waved his hand to dismiss the three accompaniment players.

He leaned back on his chair, propping his chin on his hand as he watched Lu Wenhao do an instance.

"Go get the magic treasure." Lu Hang's voice travelled over from the opposite side. "After getting it, we'll gather at the portal."

Xiang Huaizhi, "Un."

Their conversation was very succinct, and the more Jing Huan listened to them, the more he fell into a daze, and his thoughts weren't on Lu Wenhao's screen at all.

These voices and conversation… were really alike.

His phone rang softly, and Jing Huan abruptly snapped out of it. He took his phone out and unlocked it.

Chichi: How was it? Aren't tampons the most miraculous things on earth?

Xiao Jing ya: …

Xiao Jing ya: I haven't used it yet…

Chichi: Why? It's not there yet? Don't tell me your period is irregular ba.

Jing Huan covered his face. When on earth would they get away from this topic?

He really couldn't have a pleasant discussion with girls about… these sorts of affairs.

Xiao Jing ya: No… I haven't soaked in the hot springs yet.

Chichi: Oh oh, ok then. That treasure was recommended to me by my friend when I went on a trip too, and I fell in love with it from then on.

Jing Huan, with his phone in hand, suddenly thought of something. He sat up straight and quickly typed-

Xiao Jing ya: Chichi, where are you right now?

Chichi: Ah? I'm doing an instance.

Xiao Jing ya: No, where are you in person right now?

Chichi: … I'm at home ah, what's wrong?

Xiao Jing ya: Your family couldn't be running a holiday resort in Man City ba?

Chichi: …what kind of nonsense are you spouting, I'm from Jiang City. If my family ran a holiday resort, then would I still have to work everyday and suffer under that idiotic boss of mine?!

Jing Huan stared at her reply and breathed a slight sigh of relief, then suddenly found the whole thing really funny.

There were so many similar voices in the world. He must be crazy to think that the girl he had just met was Chichi.

The five of them stayed in the Internet cafe until it was time to eat. It was still raining cats and dogs outside, and a lot of cars had on their emergency flashers as they drove into the resort's parking lot to avoid the rain.

Lu Hang returned after checking the situation. "This rain is even heavier than when Zhao Wei was looking for her Dad for money."

Jing Huan corrected him. "She's Yi Ping."

"Means the same thing." Lu Hang sighed. "What the fuck should we do, it's such a rare holiday but don't tell me we can only eat instant noodles and sleep in an Internet cafe?"

Xiang Huaizhi looked at the menu on his screen's desktop. "Not necessarily, this cafe has set meals."

Lu Wenhao looked at the weather forecast and said, "This rain will probably last until tomorrow. Even if it stops at night, it's pitch dark on the mountains, and the roads are so slippery too, would you guys really dare to drive down the mountains?"

"Then what else should we do? We'll just drive slowly ba. I really can't stand sleeping in this chair." Lu Hang stretched out for a moment. "And I asked them just now, don't even mention an empty room here, there aren't even any seats left in the lobby anymore."

Gao Zixiang suddenly thought of something. "Ai, Lu Ge, why don't you sleep in our room?"

After he said that, everyone was stunned.

"Yeah." Lu Wenhao agreed. "We booked two rooms, it'll definitely fit you both."

Jing Huan had just thought of that too. "I booked a room with a large bed, so it can fit one more person."

Lu Hang was a little surprised because he wasn't that familiar with these junior brothers after all; they had only just chatted for a bit at a players' meet and greet.

"Would it be convenient for you guys?"

Lu Wenhao laughed. "Yeah, we're all guys, how would it be inconvenient?"

Lu Hang looked at his dorm mate and raised an eyebrow, shooting out a signal of inquiry.

Xiang Huaizhi wasn't used to staying with other people, especially these strangers who he had just gotten acquainted with.

However, this Internet cafe's chairs really weren't too good. After sitting in them for a long time, his whole body felt uncomfortable, and the clothes he was wearing were still faintly emitting the scent of moist rainwater, which made people uncomfortable.

"Come ba, senior." The guy sitting opposite him suddenly peeked out. With crescent-shaped eyes, he invited him enthusiastically, "Just treat it as me repaying you for saving my life."

The lift stopped at the 20th floor. Xiang Huaizhi followed behind Jing Huan as they walked out of the lift.

"Then I'll take senior to go take a bath first and change." Jing Huan looked at his watch, "We'll meet at the restaurant at 7?"

Lu Wenhao, "OK."

Xiang Huaizhi stood beside him and suddenly felt like he was a kid who had just gotten out of kindergarten and was about to be picked up by Jing Huan.

It was only when they arrived at the room that Xiang Huaizhi discovered a problem.

He said, "I didn't bring any extra clothes."

"That's fine," Jing Huan pointed at the wardrobe, "You can wear a bathrobe for now. After washing and drying your clothes, you can just put them on again."

Xiang Huaizhi pursed his lips. His choices were limited right now, so that was indeed the only thing he could do.

He nodded. "Okay."

After he entered the bathroom, Jing Huan grabbed his laptop and sat on the sofa. Seeing that Yearning For wasn't online, he slowly clicked on the friend messages he received while he was afk-ing.

Qiu Feng had sent him a few greetings. Jing Huan pondered for a bit and decided he might as well continue pretending he wasn't around, so he didn't reply to him.

Chunxiao had sent him a message too, saying that the instance first clear rewards had been distributed and reminded him to retrieve it from the guild's treasury.

Jing Huan replied with an "okay", then made his little fairy fox skip and hop into the guild portal.

[Guild Announcement: Xiao Tianjing has obtained a guild reward of 100 gold for "Instance First Clear Rewards"!

[Guild] Qiufeng: ?

[Guild] Qiufeng: [weeps] You actually didn't reply me…

Fuck, he forgot that taking his reward would be announced to the guild.

[Guild] Xiao Tianjing: I just came back, I didn't not reply to you on purpose >.<

[Guild] Qiufeng: Then do you want to do an instance? Quicksand Instance, Yearning For and the others already did this instance in the afternoon. If you don't come, you'll have to get a pubs team to do it with you, oh.

Yearning For went online in the afternoon?

He had sent a message to Yearning For in the morning, and the other party had replied with "I'm going hiking today", and the two of them never spoke after that.

Jing Huan pondered this for a bit, then opened up his WeChat and sent a message.

When Xiang Huaizhi came out of the bathroom, Jing Huan was sitting cross-legged on the sofa with a laptop on his legs, and he was typing with loud click clacks.

Jing Huan was fairer than most other guys. The contrast between his pair of calves that were exposed beneath his pants and the brown sofa made them even more conspicuous.

XIang Huaizhi suddenly thought of the picture of Xiao Tianjing's thighs.

But after a few seconds, that image was waved away from his mind. "I'm done washing up, are you going in?"

Jing Huan stared at the chat interface that had never received a reply and uttered an "un". "I'll go in soon."

Xiang Huaizhi didn't mind. He walked over to the bed and picked up his phone, then saw a few unread messages on it.

Xiao Jing ya: Is Gege done hiking?

Xiao Jing ya: Gege, you were doing instances in the afternoon?

Xiang Huaizhi moved his fingers and replied with an "un".

"Ding-"

The WeChat notification sound suddenly rang from the laptop that Jing Huan was holding.

Xiang Huaizhi glanced up when he heard it, but he quickly shifted his gaze.

In less than a few seconds, his phone vibrated in his palm.

Xiao Jing ya: [I'm crying really loudly] Gege why didn't you call me when you were doing instances…

Xiang: You weren't around.

"Ding-"

The moment he sent out his message, another ring rang out from the sofa.

Xiang Huaizhi couldn't help but look up and just so happened to see Jing Huan type for a bit, then press on 'enter'.

At the same time, his phone vibrated again.

Xiao Jing ya: You can call me on WeChat ah QAQ

Xiang: Next time.

"Ding-"

Xiang Huaizhi, "…"

Xiao Jing ya: Okay, will Gege be playing in the arena tonight?

Xiang Huaizhi hesitated for a moment, then typed tentatively.

Xiang: No.

"Ding."

Xiang: I'm busy.

"Ding."

Xiang: So I can't go.

"Ding."

Xiang Huaizhi held his breath slightly as he listened to the typing sounds at the sofa.

The instant the typing sounds disappeared, his phone reacted again.

Xiao Jing ya: AAAAAHH! Gege replied to me three times in a row!!! [rolls around]

Xiang Huaizhi slowly let out a breath, then opened up his expressions and casually tapped on three to send them over.

Xiang: [hug]

Xiang: [rose]

Xiang: [kissy]

"Ding— ding— ding-"

Xiang Huaizhi, "…"

He looked up slowly, his gaze extremely complex. He stared at the one sitting on the sofa, seeming as if he wanted to say something.

Jing Huan stared at the three expressions in shock, suspecting that Long Road Ahead was messing around with him again.

Sensing the gaze shooting over from the bed, he looked up and blinked in doubt. "What is it senior?"

Xiang Huaizhi frowned as he stared at the laptop on his lap and only managed to squeeze a word after a long while passed, "… nothing."

—

Juurensha: XHZ!!! You used a kissy expression to suss him out!!!

Zryuu: Hi guys! So this is the last chapter I'm translating for GHFOD, Juu will be taking over from the next chapter onward! I'm glad to see so many people enjoying GHFOD as much as I do~ I liked it so much I was chasing this series daily and thought that I might as well drag people into the pit with me haha, which was how this all started. Haven't the past few chapters been so terribly exciting??!?!