Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World



Chapter 70 – Senators Summons Florida Man for Hearing about His Balls

Magpie City

The city was under the jurisdiction of the Life Sword Sect. Commoners of this city always sent their children to take the sect's aptitude tests, hoping to raise their family status. In addition, the sect had a good reputation among commoners as they never imposed taxes on them. Instead, they accepted requests from commoners and provided protection to the local merchants as their primary job.

Although the sect was popular among commoners, their financial status was inferior to other orthodox sects and unorthodox sects. Because of that, they lacked cultivation resources and pills to employ deacons or invite strong cultivators to join them. With fewer resources, their disciples' progress was also slower than the others in their peers.

However, things changed after Leo appeared. The disciples acquired rare pills while many elders purchased essence cores from Leo. With the new resources, their cultivation progress skyrocketed. Most of the disciples, deacons, and elders shut themselves in their abodes, cultivating in frenzy.

Hua Jiashan, Han Hao, and Han Meng were also the same. They used whatever they got from Leo to cultivate. As such, the number of protectors and patrolling cultivators in the city dwindled.

This allowed spies and cultivators from other sects and clans to infiltrate the city. Everybody used their organization's secret artifact to hide their presence and Qi while they lurked in the city.

In an alley, a group of three hooded golden core cultivators stood in front of a local middle-aged merchant. They paid him a bag of gold coins for the information.

"T-Thank you, sir! C-Can I leave?"

"Go." One of the cultivators chased the merchant away.

The merchant ran away with the bag of gold coins. He widely grinned as his financial issue would be solved for the rest of his life.

The cultivators looked at each other. They were baffled by the intel that they had just gathered.

This group belonged to the Fatui Cult. They were the backup forces that came with Situ Luan. However, after their master's death, they lurked in the city, gathering information for their cult.

"That Florida Man is commissioning the local to bring him… food?"

The captain of the group corrected his subordinate, "More like, he is gathering resources. If he needs food, he would have requested meat or live animals."

"But vegetables and fruits?"

"The spies from Situ Clan said that Florida Man might be a quasi-immortal. If that's the case, it explains everything. Any quasi-immortal can convert regular fruits and vegetables into precious herbs and alchemy materials. Since Florida Man is an alchemist, it makes a lot of sense to me."

Everybody nodded in agreement. They took notes and disappeared into the shadow, leaving the city with the information. Their cult would receive this intelligence at night.

These people weren't the only ones with the information. As Leo openly commissioned the merchants, the local farmers and travelers heard of it and spread the rumor.

Although the center of attention was on Leo and his actions, many spies noticed irregular activities of the Life Sword Sect's elders as one of them visited the black market in the slum outside the city wall, north of Magpie City.

As the black market ran by money, it was easy for spies to acquire information. Everybody soon realized that someone sold a unique contraband item "Essence Stone" to the unauthorized auction house.

Agents from major sects and clans swarmed the auction house to confirm the information. Then, they learned that an elder from Life Sword Sect sneaked the item here and exchanged an essence stone for a high-grade flying sword, which was publically sold in the market for a hundred million spirit stones!

The news traveled fast as cultivators had the means to deliver information to their organizations. Within 24 hours, the news reached the ears of the imperial officials.

.

.

The Yan Empire had been governing the mainland for 500 years ever since the last Sweet Dream Mushroom Incident. The Yan Clan took over the imperial court after the mushroom zombie apocalypse while the Situ Clan cleaned up their mess.

Although the Yan Empire was the ruler of all cultivators on the mainland, not all families were fond of them. The Situ Clan was one of them as they still held a grudge that the Yan Clan took advantage of their ancestors 500 years ago and usurped the throne.

Currently, Yan Xiang was the emperor of Yan. He was a quasi-immortal, and he was famous for his talent in cultivation and combat. Ever since he had advanced to the quasi-immortal stage, he had never been defeated in a fight.

At Cauliflower City Palace, Yan Xiang sat on the throne, skimming through the scrolls of his subordinates. They were the daily reports of the imperial court, which informed him of the surrounding events around the mainland.

Yan Xiang wore gold dragon robes and an emperor crown. His throne and tables were made of pure gold, but they ceaselessly emitted Yang Element Essence, which was one of the rare elements that no cultivator could cultivate.

The emperor was 650 years old, yet his appearance looked the same as a teenager's as he didn't have a string of beard or mustache. He also wore a pair of eyeglasses even though he could see everything clearly. His spotless white jade skin never touched the sunlight, and his physique was average as if he had never worked out before. His long black hair was hidden under the crown.

While the emperor was busy reading the reports, a thousand soul transformation cultivators and soul formation cultivators, dressing as court officials, stood still and lowered their heads in the wide throne room. They waited for their lord to finish examining their jobs.

Among the crowd, representatives of the Jianghu Alliance were present, except the representative from the Ouyang Clan. Three alchemy sects, the World Tree Sect, the Sixth Element Sect, and the Pill Union sent their elders to attend as well. Even Death Sword Sect, Fatui Cult, and all unorthodox sects participated in the meeting as these organizations belonged to Yan Xiang's sons.

Everybody was quiet. Only the sound of Yan Xiang's movements and his scroll were audible in the hall.

Two hours later, Yan Xiang finished reading all of the scrolls. He rolled them and put them on the floor, allowing the eunuchs behind him to tidy the place.

"I have a question. Chancellor Tang. What is Florida?"

Chancellor Tang was a thin elderly man, whose gentle smiling face never faded. He looked like a kind grandpa that every child loved. He had short white hair, white eyebrows, and purple pupils, but no beard.

The representatives from the Situ Clan flinched. They were the ones who sent the report about a mysterious figure by the Daoist name "Florida Man".

One of the Situ clansman stepped out of the crowd and stood in the middle of the throne room, presenting himself on the red carpet. He deeply bowed while he cupped his fist.

"It's a new Dao, your majesty. This term appears along with the mysterious rogue cultivator that calls himself Florida Man. He shows up near Magpie City of the Life Sword Sect."

"Hmm. Alright. Is the representative from the Life Sword Sect present?"

"…"

Nobody uttered a word as Life Sword Sect never sent their representative here. Rather, they didn't know that the emperor demanded one of them there.

The crowd sweated profusely. Most of the sects and clans here excommunicated small and weak sects so that the allocable resources from the imperial court would never reach them. Then, their annual share would be naturally increased as a result as long as they contributed something to the court.

The emperor leaned back and picked up a cup of tea. Coincidentally, it was also pinnacle-grade rejuvenate tea, which the Tang Clan specially concocted for the emperor.

After sipping the tea, Yan Xiang looked around the room. He frowned, "You know what's funny? This is the first time I heard about Life Sword Sect. I know about the Sword Saint's deeds, but I thought their successors found the Death Sword Sect. So, tell me, people. Why haven't I heard about this sect before?"

Everybody was drenched in sweat, especially the people from the Jianghu Alliance. Some of them clattered their teeth as they were afraid of the punishment for their misdeeds.

The emperor glared at them, "I thought I ordered the Jianghu Alliance to gather every representative from all sects in the mainland here so that we can communicate better. In exchange for their trouble, I'll allocate essence stones and spirit stones to their sects and make an exception about the essence stone contraband. If they aren't here, I can't question them when something happens in their territory, can I? They also can't get their hands on our cultivation resources. So, why aren't their representative here?"

Being pressed on something unspeakable, nobody dared to utter a word.

Yan Xiang was not a pushover. He narrowed his eyes as he saw through his subordinates' political schemes. He purposely intensified his murderous aura.

Facing the quasi-immortal's killing intent, everybody prostrated to the floor and slammed their foreheads to the ground.

"Please quell your anger, your majesty!"

"Anger deteriorates your health, your majesty! Please calm down!"

Yan Xiang was calm, but he hated hypocrite underlings. He bellowed, "YOU IMBECILS! I ASKED YOU WHY THEY AREN'T HERE!!"

The thousand people in the hall vomited blood. Fortunately, these officials and representatives were strong, and they managed to endure the emperor's pressure.

On the other hand, Chancellor Tang was also a quasi-immortal. He didn't feel anything from the pressure, but he lowered his head to Yan Xiang.

"If I remember correctly, the Magpie City is located in the southern region, close to the Fatui Cult and Death Sword Sect. It takes only half a day to travel from Cauliflower City to Magpie City. I think they might be suppressed by the neighbors, and they haven't received any help from us."

"IT HAS BEEN 500 YEARS!!"

Yan Xiang stood up and threw his teacup at the representative from the Fatui Cult. The glass broke, and the blood came out from the elder's head. However, the cultist, who no longer wore cone-shaped headwear, didn't raise his head.

"500 Years. They have been isolated for 500 years! From the first day that our kingdom was founded, my ancestors stressed that every sect and cult, regardless of practices and culture, must be treated equally! We forbid every cultivator from accessing essence stones so that we can allocate them equally to all clans and sects. Then, you can have healthy competition! The side that outperforms the others can get a high status in the court… AND WHAT IS THIS?!"

Yan Xiang stomped and raised his hand. One of the Fatui Cult's elders and Death Sword Sect's elders floated in the air as their necks were squeezed and raised by invisible hands.

"EXPLAIN! WHY HAVEN'T I HEARD OF THE LIFE SWORD SECT BEFORE?!"

"…UGH."

"H-HELP!"

Nobody bothered raising their heads to answer. Even the colleagues of the suffering elders didn't dare to speak.

However, a young man in gold robes in the crowd suddenly stood up. He gazed at his father.

"Father, this is my fault. I ordered them not to inform you."

"You…"

The speaker was the third prince, Yan Zhu. He was known as the patron of the Fatui Cult. This year, he was 150 years old, and his cultivation base was in the soul transformation stage.

Yan Zhu explained to his father, "These days, pretentious small sects emerge everywhere. Just because they call themselves a sect doesn't mean we should acknowledge them as a cultivator organization. Some of them use the name as a cover to exploit people or take advantage of the commoners. Because of that, I ordered the Fatui Cult and Death Sword Sect not to include small sects in the official sects. Unless they can produce a soul transformation cultivator, their organizations remain unofficial."

Yan Xiang wasn't happy with his son. He clicked his tongue, "And let the big cults and sects monopolize my essence stones? How about I cut the supplies from your sects for 500 years? I bet your cult will instantly be disbanded!"

Hearing that Yan Xiang would cut the supplies to Fatui Cult, Yan Zhu clapped his hands and dispelled his father's power, allowing the two representatives to fall to the ground and breathe.

The two tortured men gave Yan Zhu a grateful look. They coughed and continued lowering their heads as usual.

Yan Zhu tried to convince Yan Xiang with a new report that he hadn't told his father yet.

"Father, my stance on the small sects and cults remains unchanged. Besides, do you know that Life Sword Sect has illegally smuggled essence stones from a new source and exploited them?"

"What?" Yan Xiang raised his brow. He thought that all essence stones on the mainland came from the five mystic realm gates, which belonged to the court. He was surprised to hear about a new source.

"Where did they get the essence stones?"

Yan Zhu smirked. He reminded his father about the primary issue.

"Florida Man!"

"… Hmm?"

"Remember what you asked? What Florida is might actually be a place or a Dao that relates to the essence stones. Life Sword Sect might know something about it, but they are keeping it a secret."

Yan Xiang still didn't believe in his cunning son. He glared at him, "What's the proof? What if you just blatantly accuse them to protect your cult?"

Yan Zhu then volunteered, "Pass me an order, Father. Allow the Fatui Cult and my personal army to move. We'll pay Magpie City a visit and face the Life Sword Sect head-on. We'll question them personally about where they get the essence stones and who Florida Man really is!"

The emperor snorted. He knew what his son cooked from a mile away. At this rate, Yan Zhu would annihilate the Life Sword Sect and kill Florida Man, making them a scapegoat for the unproved crime.

To prevent such an unfair activity, Yan Xiang glanced at the representative of the Pill Union and Chancellor Tang. He ordered them.

"You two go along with that brat. Chancellor Tang, I give you permission. Accompany them and investigate everybody thoroughly, and I mean EVERYBODY. You may PUNISH ANYONE, INCLUDING MY KIN IF THEY DESERVE IT! I'm allowing you to use your judgment!"

Yan Zhu's expression turned dark while Chancellor Tang glanced at the third prince. The latter's smile widened as he bowed, "By your will, your majesty."