Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World



Chapter 68 – Officials Confused as Florida Man Draws Alligator Emoticon as His Business Signature

As Leo had a lot to think about, he called it a day and rested.

The next morning, Leo woke up and came out of the shop to perform his routine, cleaning the store and collecting pills. He totally forgot about Wu Buyi.

When Leo came out, he found Wu Buyi kneeling in front of the store. When their eyes met, the latter's expression brightened.

"Master! You've finally come out! I have something to report!"

"…Speak." Leo was bemused, wondering what the alchemist had been doing all night.

"T-The house… has just lost the Qi source. The lightning element Qi and the fire Qi are gone! I don't know why, but they instantly vanish!"

"…"

Leo frowned. He didn't remember that the system house had a Qi source. Still, he strode toward the house to check the mess Wu Buyi had made.

Upon getting inside, Leo discovered a black electric outlet. From a glance, he could tell that someone short-circuited the electricity as the trace of a small electric shock was obvious as day.

Leo deeply sighed. He walked toward the circuit breaker at the back of the house and flipped the switch on.

BINK

BINK

The LED light and the air conditioner were turned on.

Meanwhile, Wu Buyi was in a daze. He gazed at the light and the air conditioner. He deeply inhaled the cold air from the machine and smiled.

"Master is awesome! How did you restore the Qi source? Please teach me, master!"

Leo rolled his eyes. He pointed at the black outlet, "See that?"

"Hmm?" Wu Buyi followed Leo's finger and noticed the black electric outlet, "What about it?"

"ARE YOU A FREAKING IDIOT SANDWICH?! I TOLD YOU NOT TO STICK YOUR FINGER IN! WHAT ARE YOU, A DONKEY?!"

Wu Buyi was quick. He covered his ears and circulated his Qi to protect his eardrums. Still, the voice rocked his balance, and he fell to the floor, getting dizzy.

Seeing Wu Buyi's condition, Leo lowered his voice and squatted next to him. He pointed at the circuit breaker.

"Listen here. You wet banana. Next time you ruin your house, check that thing over there. If it lever is down, flip it up, and everything will be fine. But if you do that and everything is still broken, it's on you. Okay?"

Wu Buyi repeatedly nodded even though he barely understood Leo's instructions. He gazed at the breaker unit and wondered what it was for. He also had some questions regarding Leo's strange vocabulary.

"Master, what's a wet banana?"

"An idiot that deserves a thousand slaps to the face for his stupidity."

"…"

"Anyway, continue what you've been doing. I have some work to do."

"Y-Yes, master."

Leo left Wu Buyi alone in his house and visited the three alchemy workshops behind the store next.

.

10 minutes later, Leo stared at the group of mannequins in a daze. He didn't expect to see three workshop mannequins coordinate with the warehouse workers.

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Warehouse Level 7

Warehouse Automaton Level - (3/5)

Storage Size Level – (4/5)

[Upgrade] – 1,000 Years of Lifespan

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As Leo had upgraded the warehouse to level seven, he added two more workers to help sort and collect resources. However, he didn't know that they had other functions.

The alchemist bots automatically collected the pills and put them in the warehouse. Afterward, the warehouse workers learned about the pills and coordinated with the workshop mannequin, fetching pill ingredients from the granary for them.

In addition, the warehouse mannequins were nimble. They jumped and ran like characters from Naruto, traveling back and forth between the granary, warehouse, workshop, and farms. Leo even noticed that one of the warehouse mannequins helped the farm automaton harvest a potato. Then, it carried the massive unit into the granary.

In short, these warehouse workers ran around, providing logistic assistance to the other mannequins.

Leo's mood was lifted. He was glad that he no longer had to manually collect or make new pills on his own. With this, he could just sleep at home all day and let the mannequin slaves do the daily chore for him.

Unfortunately, not all good things came without flaws. There was an issue with the alchemist mannequins. As Leo didn't update his instructions, they continued making the same pills over and over again.

The first workshop focused on yang flame dans. The second workshop hadn't finished making the Hope and Dream pills. As for the newest workshop, it ceaselessly produced Rejuvenate Tea.

Products that required hours to make were not an issue. The ones that took less time to make was the headache-inducing one. As the rejuvenate tea required containers to collect, the mannequins used whatever they could find to store them. As a result, they were in a mess.

The earth jar that Leo always used to store freshwater was filled with tea and freshwater. Cat's bucket of mutated water was also used. A massive trash bin, which contained spirit stones and essence stones, was brought out from the warehouse, and they were half-filled with the tea while some of the stones were still inside.

In short, the tea was wasted. Only Cat could drink it, but Leo doubted that she would.

"Haiya…"

Leo regretted that he didn't prepare enough glass bottles or a proper barrel for the juice. He purchased a few empty barrels from the online store. He then ordered the mannequin for the third workshop.

"Next time, store the tea in here. Don't bother using another container, okay? If you run out of containers, come find me."

The mannequin looked at Leo's face for a moment and nodded. It returned its attention to the cauldron, continuing refining the tea.

After giving out his order, Leo gazed at the mess. He carried the bucket of mutated water and brought them to the old outhouse near the Sword Saint Boulder. He poured the content in there. Leo also did the same to the earth jar of freshwater as it couldn't be used anymore. As for the trash bins, Leo spent a long time sorting the essence stones out of the containers. It took him hours to finish cleaning up the mess.

At late noon, Leo's stomach grumbled. Leo forgot about breakfast, and he realized that he hadn't eaten anything yet. He stopped what he was doing and returned to the store, hoping to grab some bananas to eat.

Stepping into the store and experiencing the distorted space again, Leo flinched. He couldn't get used to the weird space distortion of this place no matter how many times he entered or left the building. Going back to fetch food from the store was also a hurdle as the fridges were still at the center of the building.

Walking a hundred meters, Leo reached the center of the store, where the fridges and shelves were gathered here. Leo grabbed a few golden sand bananas and ate them as usual.

While eating, Leo gazed at the large empty space. He still couldn't figure out what to do with it. Moreover, the partitioned rooms on the west and east stood out like a sore thumb. By looking at it, Leo wished that he could get someone to open some shops here so that he could collect rent.

Just as Leo thought of Hua Jiashan and the elders, one of them returned to the store. Tiger Swordsman led the Magpie City's representative and local merchants here to establish a trade deal with Leo.

Tiger Swordsman knocked on the store's front door. Then, he opened it.

"Senior Florida Man. As promised, I've brought you… HOLY BUDDHA!!"

The burly cultivator was taken aback when he saw the massive space in the building. He immediately took several steps back to check the two-story building from outside. Then, he shoved his head inside, peeking and checking the interior.

Tiger Swordsman wasn't the only one with this reaction. The merchant representatives were also shocked as they peeked into the store through the windows from outside. They saw how big and wide the building was, and they couldn't help but rub their eyes.

Leo noticed their reactions. He chuckled and waved his hand, inviting them in. He could have gone out to receive them, but he was too lazy to walk.

Tiger Swordsman noticed the gesture. He invited the people in. Five commoners behind him nodded and followed the cultivator into the building.

As Leo was being lazy, he put the usual sacred wood blocks for them to sit on. He could have purchased proper chairs from the online store, but he always forgot about it.

Everybody got to their seat. They nervously gazed at Leo, who was still chewing a banana in his hand. Tiger Swordsman also noticed that Leo was eating a rare golden sand banana. The corners of his mouth twitched. 

No sane cultivator ate a raw vegetable or fruit from mystic realms as the residual element Qi in the fruit or vegetable would have killed them from the inside. However, Leo seemed to be unaffected by the food.

"My apologies that I can't serve you tea today. One of my workers is too new on the job and he messed up a few gallons of tea."

Leo patted his hand and glanced at the banana peel on his lap. He shrugged and put it in his mouth, eating them as well. After all, every part of mutated fruits and veggies gives him life force.

The expressions of the crowd were complicated. The merchants and the city representatives looked at Tiger Swordsman, questioning him with their eyes if the man was sane.

Tiger Swordsman coughed and got to the point.

"Ahem. Umm, senior. We would like to discuss the deal we talked about, yesterday. I talked to the locals, and they agree to sell you vegetables and fruits. However, they need an advanced payment since it's a long-term deal."

One of the merchants stood up and cupped his fist. He added, "Although our status is inferior to cultivators, we need some insurance that you will not take advantage of us, commoners. I-If we offend you, please forgive us."

Leo nodded. He had seen this type of deal in the modern world before, and advanced payment wasn't something new to him.

"How much do you need for the advanced payment?"

The merchants looked at each other. They slightly nodded as they had discussed this before they came here.

"Umm, one spirit stone per month per merchant firm, senior. That will be a total of five spirit stones. After we receive the payment, we will deliver our goods here every first day of the week."

"How much will I get?" Leo didn't bother looking at them. He stood up and picked another banana from the showcase refrigerator. Then, he ate the tip of it without peeling it.

The crowd gulped as they were taken aback by Leo's weird sense of food. The city representative spoke next.

"T-Ten stones of vegetables and fruits for me, senior."

Another merchant nervously stated his offer, "Seven, no, eight stones for me."

"Eight for me, too."

"Ten here, senior."

"I-I can only do seven."

Leo quietly looked at the people. Then, he gazed at Tiger Swordsman, wanting to ask him how much one stone of fruits was. However, Leo's facial skin wasn't thick, so he didn't reveal that he had no idea what they were talking about.

Since spirit stones were easy to find, Leo readily agreed.

"Alright. Five spirit stones for those. Where do I sign?"

The merchants and the city representative were delighted. They brought out their contract papers for Leo to sign.

Unfortunately, this world still relied on brushes and ancient ink stones. They started grinding ink stones to make ink for Leo to write. One of them also asked him.

"Senior, do you have a seal stamp? We can use stamps, too."

"… Stamps?"

"Yes, senior. If you have a stamp that can represent your clan or lineage, you can use it instead of signing."

"…"

Leo stroked his beard and frowned. As he was not a noble from the local kingdom, he was already disqualified from using the stamp thingy.

"I'll write my name."

"… Alright, senior."

The group finished preparing the ink and brushes for Leo. The latter quietly rolled his robe sleeves and gracefully picked a brush. He gently dipped the tip in the ink container.

Meanwhile, Leo's mind screamed in panic. It was his first time writing his name in Chinese. Even though he had learned the characters from the system, he was still nervous.

As Leo's brain was frozen in panic, his muscle memory kicked in. Instead of writing his name properly, his arm and hand automatically moved, treating the paper as if it was something he could draw a picture on.

Leo skillfully drew a smiling alligator head on the signature area.

Everybody: "…"

Leo didn't finish there. He then spelled his Daoist Title underneath in Chinese.

Everybody looked at the characters and pronounced them in unison.

"Fu-Luo-Li-Da?"

"It's Florida…" Leo facepalmed.