Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World

297 Florida Man Brings Farm Alligator to Court Room and Threatens Judge to Lessen His Sentence

Chapter 297 – Florida Man Brings Farm Alligator to Court Room and Threatens Judge to Lessen His Sentence.

Leo snickered and pointed at the table.

"See? What robbery? I only take what's mine."

The judge paused for a long time. He narrowed his eyes and gave Leo a meaningful look. "According to Section 334, taking anything from Fate Stadium's VIP lounge outside is considered thievery depending on the value of the items taken!"

"Tsk. That's butthurt crappy laws you have there," Leo quietly complained in a hushed voice. He wished to say to the angel directly, but he was wary of the 'Court Contempt Law'. Provoking the judge was not a good idea here.

The angel continued, "The items you stole were a bottle of whiskey and three pieces of python deity steaks. The value of the items is…"

The judge flinched and pulled a paper close to his face. His expression turned ugly.

"Well?" Leo grinned. He believed that the value was not that high.

"The value of the stolen items… is ten essence stones."

Leo almost burst into laughter. He fetched a handful of essence stones from his pocket and showed them to the judge, "What's the fine? Can I pay for the stolen 'FOOD'?"

The judge spat and pointed at Leo's face, "Don't be arrogant! A crime is a crime! All your fate crystals and properties will be confiscated by the Fate Stadium! You will be thrown to the Chessboard of Judgment!"

"…Are you serious?" Leo's eyes turned cold.

"Ha! You idiot! That's Court Contempt! I charge you an additional 100 years and ten games of Death Chess! Guards! Strip this fool's fate crystals and give them to me!"

Four giant angels emerged from the white clouds and threw golden chains at Leo's glass coffin. Everybody had a square face and polygon-like physique, but everybody had four angelic wings and halos.

One of them mocked Leo. "It's over, brat. Our 'Fate Crusher Chains' crushed countless entities to death in the past 1,000 years. Even karmic sovereigns are helpless against this artifact!"

Another angel sneered and tightened his chain around the glass coffin. He sneered, "You're lucky that the coffin is still protecting your soul, Junior. But it's too late for you. This coffin alone has the ability to seal your system abilities. The chains will continuously absorb your Qi to the last drop. And when your Qi is depleted, your cultivation base will regress until you become a helpless mortal. Once we're done with you, we'll decide what kind of chess piece we will assign you. For someone like you, a center pawn should fit you well. After all, almost central pawns die in early games, especially when the chess players are noobs."

The judge then added, blackmailing and threatening Leo, "If you don't want to be reduced to a mortal, obediently take out fate crystals from your soul and give them to me. Then, we will lessen your sentence and free you from the glass coffin cage. You get to retain your cultivation base, too! What do you say? Are you willing to cooperate now?"

The other two angels didn't speak, but their obnoxious smiles and ugly faces looked the same as the talkative bunch.

Leo deeply sighed after he patiently listened to their schemes and unnecessary explanations. He opened the system menu and checked it.

A red X overlay appeared on top of the system menu screen. A red message also informed Leo what the coffin was doing.

[Your system has been temporarily sealed.]

[You cannot access the Online Shopping System.]

[You cannot access Domain System.]

[You cannot access the PVP System.]

Strangely, one of the systems could not be sealed.

[ERROR! Failed to seal Dantian System!]

[ERROR! Dantian System is the Host's Dao. Unable to steal the system!]

"…"

Ignoring the messages, Leo snorted. He gave up playing along with the crowd of clowns. As the negotiation failed, it was time to use force.

"It was not like he needed the systems in fights."

He raised his fist and lightly knocked on it.

CLANK

The glass coffin shattered!

"WHAT?!" The judge widened their eyes in shock. "That's impossible! The coffins are made from a karmic sovereign's refined bones! How did a trashy thief like him destroy it?!"

The four angels also wished to say the same words. They bellowed and commanded the golden chains to tighten, planning to crush Leo to death.

The gold chains tightened around Leo. The four guards injected their Qi into the artifacts, attempting to either kill Leo or drain his energy.

Leo looked at the chains while he was wrapped into a semi-

mummy. His eyes peeked through the chains and stared at the judge's face.

The judge wiped a drop of his sweat and laughed.

"Finally, you mess up, Florida Man! Nobody has survived against those chains! Fate Crusher Chains are made from 108 dead karmic river entities! Even if you're a karmic sovereign, your physical body and soul will mutate into a monster! You will lose all your sanity and revert into a mortal after the chains drain your Qi! Now, last chance! Give me your fate crystals, and we'll let you live!"

"…"

Again, Leo's expression turned dark. He deeply sighed.

"That was cringe, judge. Can't you come up with a better threat? You sound like one of those 3rd-rated villains in stories."

The judge was enraged. He pointed his finger and yelled, "Just kill the fool and extract his fate crystals for me! END HIM, NOW!"

The four angels exerted more force. Once again, they injected more Qi into the chains to drain Leo's energy.

The chains had two functions. They injected golden Qi into the victim to force the energy circulation, driving out all Qi from the victim's dantian. Then, the gold Qi would return to the artifact users.

Another function was the mutation ability. When gold Qi entered someone's body, the victim's DNA mutated. Afterward, the Qi would enter the host's soul and devour a portion of it, weakening the victim.

The judge and the four angels were confident in these artifacts. They had killed many arrogant karmic sovereigns who rebelled against the Fate Stadium before. None of them believed that a backwater cultivator like Leo could survive against their best weaponry.

Meanwhile, Leo stood still and stared at the judge. He didn't move or utter a word.

None of his energy escaped his body. Instead, he gradually absorbed gold Qi from the chains into his dantian universe.

In Leo's dantian universe, alligators evolved into lizardmen. Some of them already learned how to cultivate, and a few already reached the immortal stage. Gold Qi from the chains entered Leo's universe and flowed toward the local population.

When the wandering immortals noticed the new type of energy in the universe, they rushed to absorb it like a starving man seeing a bowl of soup. As soon as the lizardmen touched the gold Qi, they refined the new form of energy into their own while they excreted used Qi to the universe, working as a natural filter.

The used Qi was digested and purified by the dantian universe. Thick gold gas emerged and flowed toward the void in Leo's space. Soon, they condensed into a new star.

Because of the time dilation between reality and Leo's universe, his digestive speed surpassed the speed at which the golden chain could draw his energy. The dantian's suction force was stronger than the golden chains, causing the flow of energy to reverse.

Gold Qi from the chains slowly depleted. As soon as the artifacts were about to run out of Qi, they absorbed the energy of their owners.

The faces of the four angels were ashen. Sweat drops covered their faces while their knees slowly lost strength.

10 minutes later, the four angels fell on their knees. Everybody lost 90% of their Qi.

"S-Senior Judge… Help."

The judge bellowed, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! KILL THAT MAN ALREADY! WE NEED HIS FATE CRYSTALS, NOW!"

"S-Senior…W-We…"

Soon, the angels ran out of Qi. Then, stars in their dantian universe exploded one after another to produce emergency energy and Qi to sustain their souls.

"N-No!"

One of them realized the mishap. He let go of the chains.

However, the tip of his artifacts moved as if they were alive. Two chains wrapped around his body instead.

"W-WHAT?! NOOOOO!!"

The others also had the same fate. Their weapons stopped listening to their will and followed the command of the other user, whom they tried to kill.

Leo licked the tip of his wounded tongue after he purposely spat his blood on each chain. He also connected his karma strings with the items, changing their ownership.

Receiving such an immense Qi, the chains radiated rainbow light. They loosened the bind and moved according to Leo's will, tying the four angels instead.

After the chains released Leo, he stretched and straightened his back. A loud spinal crack sound refreshed him.

"Ow, that's the spot!" Leo let out a long sigh of relief. "Chains, I want their life force."

The chains shone a blinding light. Radiating heat enveloped the four angels.

"NOOOOOO!!"

"HEEEEELP MEEEEEE!!"

The chains stole their life force and Qi to the last drop. The former masters of the weapons were reduced to dry mummies while their souls disappeared from the universe forever.

After devouring the angels, the chains moved, floating freely like flying snakes. All artifacts coiled around Leo, protecting their new master.

The judge fell from his chair and failed to stand up. While backing away, he yelled.

"GUARDS! ARREST THE REBEL! ARREST HIM! NO, KILL HIM!!"

A hundred angels rushed toward Leo from all sides. Everybody carried a similar gold chain around them.

Leo slowly walked out of the shattered glass coffin, approaching the judge. While walking straight toward the square angel, a hundred chains flew toward him.

BOOM

The four chains of the four dead angels released rainbow light and repelled the gold chains for Leo.

Leo glanced at the chains. He suddenly had a strange inspiration.

'If I turn one of the local population in my dantian universe into super experts, can I bring them out to help me?'

Leo sent his consciousness to his dantian universe to meet one of the lizardmen and alligators that he had been secretly raising.