Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World
279 Florida Man Calls Cops to Sue Government for Prohibiting the Use of Living Humans as Fertilizer
Chapter 279 – Florida Man Calls Cops to Sue Government for Prohibiting the Use of Living Humans as Fertilizer for Personal Gardens
While Meowmeow harvested wives from the crowd, many elf women seemed disinterested in joining the harem. They stared at the portals behind other statue golems.
One of them checked the portal to Orlando, but Lucky barked at her. The girl stumbled and backed away from the doge. The others also respected the guard dogs and kept their distance.
However, the other gate was unprotected. The cow level's portal was so alluring that one of the elves decided to take a peak.
As the portal to the cow level was near the agriculture realm portal, Wei Yuan glanced at the daredevil girl and warned her.
"That place is not your home. Go back to the line."
The elf didn't believe in Wei Yuan. She spat at her feet and vanished into the cow level.
She never returned.
An hour later after the first elf entered the portal, another silly elf tried her luck. Again, Wei Yuan warned the ignorant elf.
"That is not the way to the elf world. It's full of monsters. Do not enter."
"Ha! I'm not an immortal. I'm a deity! I'm not afraid of monsters!"
The cocky deity elf burst into laughter and entered the cow level.
.
.
In the cow-level world, the sky was dark red as usual. No monster or traces of combat was in sight.
The deity elf pursed her lips and sneered. As she was experienced in space traveling, she flew to the void without hesitation.
"Foolish Nu'Earthe! I'm not naïve! Even if it's not the right portal, I can fly my way through the void! I'm outta here!"
The elf kept flying upward at 90 degrees. She broke through the red clouds in the sky and reached the atmosphere. Everything looked normal like she had experienced in the past.
However, when she reached 50,000km altitude, her face hit a transparent wall.
The girl covered her face in pain. She looked up in frustration.
"Tsk! A barrier? For what?"
She reattempted to break the barrier with her fist and kick.
DONG
DONG
Every time she hit the barrier, it generated a weird bell noise. The sound vibrated and echoed everywhere at the cow level.
MOOOOOOOOO!!
In response, countless mad cows on this planet bellowed in rage. Some of them flew to the sky.
The elf woman turned around and found countless humanoid cow monsters, wielding giant halberds. Some of them even had crow wings on their backs.
"SHIT!"
The elf gathered more strength and punched the barrier. However, it didn't budge.
"DAMMIT!! MOVE!"
Five seconds, ten seconds, 30 seconds, the elf repeatedly punched the invisible wall that prevented her from going to the void. She started crying in despair.
MOOOOOO!!
It was too late for her. One of the cows launched an attack.
.
.
10 minutes after the deity elf had entered the portal, a soul physique of a deity exited the portal. It was the soul of the second elf woman who had entered the cow level earlier.
The soul glared at Wei Yuan's face, but she couldn't complain. On the other hand, Wei Yuan scoffed, "I've warned you. That is not the right way."
"…"
The soul couldn't argue. She turned around and used her soul physique to pass through the crowd, entering the portal to the elf world in peace.
After the unfortunate elf's soul returned, many elves realized the danger of the cow level. They stopped their silly thoughts to focus on reaching the right portal.
.
A day quickly passed by. Only less than 50,000 elves managed to get through the gate as too many people were uncooperative.
On the other hand, Meowmeow managed to score 200 elves. These girls would become new members of Leo's domain in the future. But for the moment, they had to pay the entrance fee with their bodies.
The second and the third day were the same. People flocked to the platform, competing to return home. A few of them, as usual, lost to the temptation of a certain angel statue, joining his ranks.
But on the fourth day, the crowd lessened by half. The elves learned the trend and finally decided to wait in the refugee camps. As less crowd was present, the lines flowed faster and more people managed to get home.
.
.
On the fifth day, Esen finally came out of Leo's bus. She grinned and carried a round pearl in her hands.
[Seed of World Tree]
It was a seed that Esen had bought from her World Tree System. Although she was a newbie, she managed to complete a few tutorial quests on the bus and got her hands on a real seed.
When Esen came out, she found a crowd of bored elves, queuing and waiting on the main road. They also looked back at her.
Esen shrugged and turned around.
"Meh, high elves. I hate those arrogant hypocrites."
Esen didn't have a good history with high elves. These green elves were known for their obnoxious nature. When she was a princess, the green elf representatives always pestered her and tried to make her a representative of the high elves instead of a divine elf. But when she was framed, the high elves were the first to condemn her and made the loudest noise to gain the favor of Ester.
Unfortunately for Esen, the high elves kept haunting her. One of the elves recognized her appearance and mistook her identity with her mother.
"YOUR MAJESTY ELEANOR! PLEASE HELP US!"
The scream of a desperate elf awakened the crowd's anger and desire for a bloodbath. They flew toward the parking lot and rushed toward Esen.
"YOUR MAJESTY! YOU'RE HERE!"
"WE'RE SAFE! PLEASE HELP US KILL THESE KIDNAPPERS!"
"YOUR MAJESTY! LET'S KILL THEM ALL! BURN THIS PLACE TO THE GROUND!"
Esen flinched. She turned around and glared at them, "I'm not your queen. Get lost!"
"W-What?"
The desperate high elves were heartbroken. They stumbled and fell to their knees at first. However, as Esen had guessed, they shifted the blame to Esen right away.
"Your Majesty! Did you betray us?!"
"How dare you betray us, your majesty! You were supposed to protect us!"
"Get us out of here! This is your job!"
Esen stopped her feet. She slowly turned around and gave them her brightest smile.
"You know, I've been having a headache about how I can increase my World Tree's level. I guess I was overthinking."
Esen opened her system menu and read her tutorial quest detail.
.
Tutorial Quest (7/10)
You have successfully purchased a world tree's seed. However, planting a world tree is a challenging task for a newbie. For an inexperienced world tree farmer like you, you should start by securing some fertilizer first.
Quest Objective:
- Secure 1,000kg of organic fertilizer (0/1,000)
Rewards:
- Unlock Fertilizer Inventory
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