Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World

Chapter 259 – Florida Man Sued Mother-in-Law for Snorting Coke Without Inviting Him. 

Shopping Mall, Burger Kung Restaurant.

"Last Rizzmas, I gave you my Gyatt. But the very next day, Biboo taxes it away…"

Wu Buyi hummed while he sang a weird song composed by a vtuber. He sat at the Burgur Kung Restaurant's table after ordering a double cheeseburger and a mad cow steak burger for 200 essence stones.

The food price seemed expensive to many. But in Wu Buyi's eyes, they were dirt cheap.

He was also different from before. Instead of indulging in the smartphone and the internet, Wu Buyi put an alchemy manual, which he had purchased from the infamous bookstore. Flipping a few first pages, he read the table of contents to find the topic he was interested in.

"There it is! Quick Alchemy!"

Wu Buyi hummed and flipped more pages. He started reading in earnest while the waiter mannequin brought the ordered burgers to his table.

30 minutes passed by. Wu Buyi was so absorbed in reading the books that he forgot about his surroundings.

POOF

Suddenly, a person in a suit sat at the same table as him.

Wu Buyi glanced up, annoyed by the rude guy. "Hey, man. The table is taken."

Tiger Swordsman rested his elbows on the table and leaned forward. "I see that you bought the lord's book. What book are you reading?"

Seeing Tiger Swordsman's face, Wu Buyi snorted in disgust.

"Just alchemy book."

"Every book is a secret manual. It's not JUST a book."

"I know. That's why I'm reading it."

"Cool. Hey, have you entered the time chamber yet? Are you planning to enter it anytime soon?"

"What time chamber… Oh, that."

Wu Buyi thought of Hua Taixu and his dojo, aka the time chamber. He had already entered it once, and he didn't want to take that Spartan training course ever again.

"I'm an alchemist. I'm not into sword fights."

"Aren't you vexed at all, buddy?"

"Vexxed from what?"

"The helplessness and the despair when the immortals and gods invaded us the last time."

"…"

Upon being reminded of the recent invasion, Wu Buyi's expression changed. As Tiger Swordsman had said; being useless during a critical time was frustrating. During the invasion, everybody from the Life Sword Sect and the others could do nothing but hide in the underground warehouse.

The shameful experience awoke Wu Buyi's pessimistic thoughts. He snorted in disgust.

"I'm planning to dedicate my life to alchemy. You and the swordsman freaks can keep on training and go fight in my stead."

"Are you sure?" Tiger Swordsman didn't give up convincing Wu Buyi, "The old once said, shedding sweat during training is a thousand times better than shedding your blood because you're unprepared. One day, you will be forced to get into combat, and you might regret it."

Wu Buyi closed the book and gave Tiger Swordsman a meaningful look.

"Look, Tiger. I know what I'm doing. From the very start, my cultivation base exists to support my career as an alchemist. I never seriously trained in any combat arts until I met Lord Florida Man. But that invasion taught me a lesson. You know what I learned from that?"

"What?"

"Everybody has a role." Wu Buyi stood up and folded his arms behind his back. Then, he started walking around the table. "Not everybody is geared toward combats. Indeed, cultivators usually can reinforce one's foundation or grow stronger by fighting someone strong. However, that doesn't mean every cultivator should fight all the time."

"What do you mean?"

Wu Buyi grinned. He recalled the knowledge that he had learned from the internet and taught Tiger Swordsman using his own words.

"Look, if we compare our raw martial arts skills without accounting for our difference in cultivation base, who do you think would win if we were to fight? You or me?"

"Obviously me!"

"That's right."

"What's your point?"

"That's my point exactly! I can't fight for shit! Do you think an alchemist like me should be put on the frontline while the other non-combatants can benefit the organization as a whole?"

"…"

Wu Buyi deeply sighed and explained. "I've learned something important from a lost civilization called the US Military. Although most of their soldiers are trained and anticipated to fight in combat, some of them are actually supporters who specialize in other skills, such as medics, mechanics, engineers, programmers, and many others. Hell, even psychiatrists are a thing!"

"…What?"

"I guess I have to explain using baby vocabularies. Anyway, where do you think your weapons come from?"

"A blacksmith."

"Good. Where do you think you need to go to when you're injured in combat?"

"…A cave to recuperate?"

"Idiot! A hospital or an infirmary! You need to see either a doctor or an alchemist like me!"

Wu Buyi spent hours lecturing about the supporting roles in armies. Because his voice was so loud, several bystanders stopped to listen to Wu Buyi's lecture.

By the time Wu Buyi realized it, a hundred cultivators already sat around his table, listening to his teachings. Everybody got enlightened.

"I see! Everybody has a different role!"

"We don't need to treat cultivation as an exclusive martial art. Instead, we use it as a supplement for our future career or goals, I see!"

"I…I have awakened a dao…"

Several people murmured in astonishment and respect. A dozen of them showed respect to Wu Buyi by kneeling and cupping their fists.

"Great Teacher Wu! Thank you for your teachings!"

"Great Teacher Wu! We're enlightened! Thank you!"

Meanwhile, Wu Buyi blankly stared at the people around him in confusion.

"What the hell are you lots doing here? Get out of my sight! This ain't a zoo! SHOO! SHOO!"

.

.

Leo watched the crowd from the 5th floor's balcony. He faintly smiled as he enjoyed watching the local cultivators getting adapted to the new technologies and lifestyle. He was proud of them.

While observing the people below, Esen, Ivy, Beatrice, and Marc approached him from behind. The elfen wife stood next to him and gazed at the crowd below.

"Are you free today?" Asked Esen

"Somewhat. Do you need anything?"

"Give me some books. I don't want to spend my lifespan."

Leo snickered and patted her head. He then guided her and her entourage to the bookstore and granted them free access to the library.

The library contained more books than the bookstore. However, only three copies of each book were kept there to save space. Despite containing fewer duplicated books, the tall bookshelves, and endless room was full of manuals and books of various sizes.

Leo reminded them, "You can read free books here. But bear in mind that you can't bring it out when I'm not around. If you really need one, I'll print one for you."

Beatrice, Marc, and Ivy bowed in gratitude. As for Esen, she puffed her chest in elation.

"Good job! This is what you should do as my husband!"

Everybody giggled as they found Esen adorable even though her appearance and body reached adulthood.

Leo wrapped his arm around Esen's shoulder while she leaned her head on his chest. They wished that they could enjoy this tranquil and peaceful time forever.

.

.

DING

DING

DING

A hundred blue system screens flashed and orbited around a naked beautiful elf within a water capsule. Her face, skin, and body features looked the same as Esen's.

She was Eleanor, the Matriarch or the Queen of the Divine Elf. She was also one of the few karmic sovereigns of this universe.

While being inside the water capsule, Eleanor slowly opened her eyelids. She woke up from her long dream.

"…Found you, Esen. It was the right decision to imprison you there. I knew someone would rescue you and unlock your potential. Now, I have two spare bodies I can transfer my soul into…"

Eleanor rose up and pushed the hatch open. Her eyes glowed in green color while her rainbow aura exuded from her body. The water in the capsule glittered in rainbow similar to the water of Florida Canyon River.

Next to the capsule, a silver werewolf stood with his arms crossed. He was none other than Overlord Lucky, the strongest werewolf overlord of the Fenrir Werewolf.

He only glanced at his master and gave a short report.

"Princess Ellen has betrayed us and joined forces with Overlord Xiaomao. From the report, Mercenary Ohio Man, Overlord Milo, and others followed her. What should we do about them?"

Eleanor lightly sighed. She nonchalantly put on her clothes while being watched by the werewolf.

"Leave them be. Don't bother attacking them right now."

"Why? Isn't Ellen your spare body?"

"It doesn't matter anymore. ANOTHER spare body has more potential."

"Who?" 

"The crown princess Esen. Also, I'm interested in the person who unlocked her potential."

Eleanor swiped away the system screens in front of her except one. The monitor showed the portrait of a handsome young man in his mid-20s.

It was the old portrait of Mao Miaomiao. However, Eleanor knew who the real owner of that body was.

"Who would have thought that the boy back then would have risen up from the ash? I guess the Phoenix bloodline is not for show."

Overlord Lucky didn't utter a word. He closed his eyes and turned away.

"So, what's next?"

Eleanor walked out of her chamber and ordered him.

"Bring every overlord in our army. Capture a system user by the name 'Florida Man' and the crown princess at all costs."

"And if they resist?"

"Cut off their limbs and bring me their limbless torso. I can still use them."