Back Then, I Adored You

Translator: Nyoi-Bo Studio  Editor: Nyoi-Bo Studio

Su Qing stood upright by the side of the road and waited until Qin Jiayan’s car disappeared around the corner of the road before she staggered a step back and leaned against a tree. She slowly slid down against its trunk, squatted on the ground, and buried her face in her palms while sobbing.

Even many years ago, Su Qing had already known that they were not fated to be together, but it was only at this moment, having made such a clean break, that she realized her heart could still wrench in pain over Qin Jiayan.

Jiayan, I’m sorry. I only chose to leave you back then because of how much I wanted you when I was at my wits’ end.

Jiayan, I love you. And it’s because I love you too much that I would rather sacrifice myself than burden you.

Goodbye, Jiayan… Qin Jiayan…

Although Su Qin tried hard to suppress her emotions, the sound of her sobs grew increasingly louder.

…

Qin Jiayan stared straight ahead at the road as he stepped on the accelerator. Even when his car hit maximum speed, he showed no sign of slowing down.

As he was approaching Yaho Apartments, he abruptly slammed on his brakes and stopped in the middle of the road. As if his soul had left his body, he remained in a daze for a long time before he stepped on the accelerator and turned around to head to Gu Yusheng’s villa.

It was already late in the night when he arrived, and everyone in his family was already asleep. Qin Jiayan entered the password and quietly pushed open the door. After he entered the house and was about to head upstairs, the door to the bedroom on the first floor opened, and Mother Qin walked out in her pajamas. “So, it’s you, Jiayan…”

Thinking that he had woken up her up by arriving in the middle of the night, Qin Jiayan felt a slight sense of guilt. Just when he was about to apologize, Mother Qin noticed that he was dressed in his pajamas and began to fuss. “Jiayan, why are you here in your pajamas? Is something wrong?”

“No, I just left a document here and I need it for tomorrow morning, so I hurried over without changing clothes.” Qin Jiayan made up a random excuse and brushed over it.

Mother Qin believed him and was visibly relieved. She then said, “Jiayan, are you hungry? Do you want something to eat?”

Jiayan shook his head as he stood on the steps. “Mom, you should go back to bed. I’m going to head upstairs and rest, too.”

Mother Qin nodded and turned to walk back into the bedroom.

With the faint, glowing lights from the stairs, Qin Jiayan saw the streaks of silver hair on his mother’s head. He pondered about how her mind had been fully preoccupied with his affairs ever since his sister had obtained her own happiness. His mother constantly hoped that he would start his own family soon and be living a stable life. He felt his throat tighten, and he suddenly called out, “Mom.”

Mother Qin stopped and smiled lovingly at Qin Jiayan.

Qin Jiayan gulped and, as if he had made up his mind about something, he said, “Could you arrange for me to meet the girls you’ve recently found for me? I have a bit more free time these days.”

When Mother Qin heard this, her smile reached the corners of her eyes, and she immediately said, “Okay!”

Qin Jiayan responded with a warm smile. “Goodnight, mom.”

Qin Jiayan waited until Mother Qin went back into her room before he turned and headed upstairs.

I’ve tortured my mother and myself for a very long time because of the uncertainty of Su Qing. And tonight, I used all my courage and passion again, but I still did not manage to get her back. Perhaps it is really time for me to start over.

Qin Jiayan pushed open the door to his bedroom and walked toward the balcony. As he stared into the pitch-black night outside the window, he said to himself in his heart, “Give up, Jiayan. Goodbye, Su Qing,” while his eyes turned red.