i'm not a bad man

Chapter 69 One Sword Opens Heaven's Gate
Lu Xi didn't seem to like talking about her family to others, so it took her a long time to reply to the message this time: "What kind of family relationship do you think is weak, and what kind is close?"

"I don't know if you have that feeling. That is, the night before you go home, you will have an uncontrollable urge to return home. Because you are too eager, you will suffer from insomnia. When you have insomnia, I will fantasize about various scenes after returning home...such as the tea made by grandpa, the various dry goods and cured meats bought by dad, and the meals cooked by mom..."

After sending this message to Lu Xi, my mood suddenly became sad, and I remembered some past events related to my family; it was my last year of high school, and because of my study needs, I chose to study in school. Boarding, but there will be two days of monthly leave every month. The day before the monthly leave starts, I will fall into an unextricable state of excitement... I want to go home and miss the contributions of my parents and grandpa to me. , miss my games, miss the group of friends who can play ball, eat and drink together.

Later, I never experienced this feeling of returning home again. At this moment, in addition to sadness, my heart was also filled with a kind of nostalgia that I couldn't let go. Unable to let go should not be put together with nostalgia to describe a situation. This feeling, however, my life has a certain specialness. This specialness is destined that I will never have this feeling again, so I can't let go.

……

After closing the curtains of the car, I drank another cup of hot tea, and then lay down on the simple bed near the rear of the car. While waiting for Lu Xi's reply, I looked at the map of China on the bedside.I know that my parents are in a certain corner of this map. It would be great if the world could really be as small as this map...

Gently exhaling the turbid air trapped in my heart, I lit another cigarette for myself...

Halfway through the inhalation, Lu Xi replied: "I have never experienced the feeling of returning home as you mentioned... because our family rarely gets together, although we We also have a home in Qingdao, but whenever my brother and I go back to Qingdao, we always stay in hotels... My brother may be better off than me. He spends more time in Qingdao than me. There will always be a chance to wait until my parents are at home. Sometimes...but our family relationship is not as weak as you think. No matter how busy we are, we always take a week out every year to travel together."

"That's very good. Although you are all busy, you have never forgotten that home in your heart."

"What about you? Is the reason why you have been wandering outside just to get that feeling of returning home from time to time?"

In my memory, this was the first time Lu Xi took the initiative to care about my life. I should have been complacent about this, but I was so distracted by the messages on my phone that it took me a long time to reply: "Since I decided From the moment I started wandering, I no longer had a home... I won’t talk about this anymore, I’ll send you some fun photos.”

After this message, I found two more photos taken during the trip in the photo album of my phone, and then sent them to Lu Xi via WeChat. These two photos, one vulgar and one elegant, were placed on my phone at the same time. The photo album also forms a me who can be both vulgar and elegant.

"What the hell is this?"

When Lu Xi asked this question, I knew she was talking about the "28 yuan to make your belly bigger" photo.

I smiled and replied: "I took this in a small town in the Northeast. This is actually a small self-service revolving hot pot restaurant. It costs 28 yuan per person. You can eat whatever you want... It feels a bit prank and vulgar. , but what they said is also true."

"Your sudden bad taste is really overwhelming."

"This is the mundane world of the city, the fireworks in the world. How can there be beautiful scenery everywhere?"

"Where did you take the photo below?"

"This is on the way to XZ. The photo was taken on a highway in Hunan... This photo also has a name, it's called One Sword Opening the Heavenly Gate."

"Why is it called Yi Jian Opening the Heavenly Gate?" "Let me state in advance that I gave this photo such a name, definitely not for the sake of sensationalism; this is the most soul-shaking dusk I have ever seen on the road; it was summer at the time 06:30, the sky is half gloomy and half transparent. The setting sun is hidden in the gloomy half. Suddenly, a gap appears in the gloomy half, and then it widens like a tear. You clearly know that this is the dark clouds blown away by the wind. , but what I felt visually was that it was pierced by a strong light... This beam of light was like a fiery red giant sword, chopping down the opposite mountain, and then falling on the highway again. On the road, there is no beginning or end, it's like nature is venting, creating a new world... What a special coincidence is that the mountain opposite is Tianmen Mountain in Zhangjiajie, which is also a 5A-level scenic spot... So this is a sword opening. The origin of Tianmen.”

I don’t know if Lu Xi on the other end of the phone was shocked by this photo, but she did reply to my message after a long time: “These photos are full of details, they are really rare... …Perhaps only people who are always on the road will be lucky enough to meet them.”

"Yes, it's like this sword opening the gate of heaven. In the same place, the situation changes. Even if you have the chance to go again, you will never encounter such a scene again... So, I like traveling and the feeling of being on the road all the time. , also like photography... Every time I encounter this kind of beautiful scenery that cannot be replicated again, I feel like I have opened the door to luck... I will be in a surprisingly good mood, and then I want to drink, sing, fall in love, and I want to make friends, light a bonfire, set off fireworks, be happy in life, be romantic to death..."

“Can traveling really make people forget their worries?”

"When you are in it, you will have the answer...Although you have been to many places, it is just tourism, not travel...Travel is a higher-level experience and experience, accompanied by thinking and pleasure .”

"Then why did you stop in Qingdao again and not go anywhere?"

"I haven't adapted to traveling alone yet... But when I was mentally prepared to travel alone, you suddenly appeared again. Sister Minhong found me and refused to allow me to leave Qingdao, asking me to contribute to your career. Responsible, I temporarily put down this idea... Maybe it's because I still have an unresolved relationship with the city of Qingdao. All the messy things that happened after that forced me to stay in Qingdao, so... …I’m not going anywhere…at least for the next two years, I’m not going anywhere.”

"It's my fault! It was obviously you who broke into my room as a daredevil."

"I didn't say this was a mistake. If I don't make friends with you first, how can I survive such a long journey?"

"...If I can let you take a few more photos like opening the gate of heaven with a sword, I will sacrifice myself and be your mascot."

I can clearly feel that Lu Xi's mood at this time is much better than before... Although I am not sure whether this change comes from our ongoing conversation, I have no doubt about the power of travel, although Zuo Xiaowei always laughs at me for using these experiences to pick up girls, but she is also the first to immerse herself in it...

People's hearts are complicated and things in the world are unpredictable... I wonder, what's more healing and a better way to stay away from troubles than being on the road?
If Zuo Xiaowei insists on thinking that this is a way to pick up girls, I won't make any excuses. Those who are clean will clean themselves up. After all, I have also shared these experiences with Tu Lin and Saozhu who are troubled by troubles. Is it possible that I am right? What are their intentions?
This is a kind of sharing, about beautiful sharing, there is no need to over-interpret it; just like Zuo Xiaowei, the reason why she is fascinated and fascinated is just because she has never had it, and it has nothing to do with my motives.

……

Turn off the light, close one eye, and adjust to the brightness of the phone; then, I saw the first Moments post she posted since joining Luxi WeChat. She didn’t explain anything in words, she just posted it briefly. I took the photo of "one sword opening the gate of heaven".

I am very relieved that I really did not want to show off my travel experience. The reason why I sent this photo to her is that I hope she will have the courage to break down barriers and not be immersed in the regrets of the past.

She seemed to be aware of it, otherwise, why would she put such a photo in her Moments?

I liked this post, put my phone aside, closed my other eye, and fell asleep contentedly not long after.

(End of this chapter)