i'm not a bad man

Chapter 564
I don’t know how long I walked, but the road gradually disappeared and was replaced by a lake. The lake was so big that Qiao Jiao asked me in an uncertain tone: “Isn’t this the legendary Dianchi Lake?”

I was also confused. The lake in front of me looked very big, but Dianchi Lake is the largest freshwater lake in Yunnan. By this standard, it seemed a little smaller.

"probably."

"What do you mean, right? Haven't you been to 296 cities, and you're not even sure about Dianchi Lake?"

"Isn't it night? The view is not very good. Please let me check the location of my phone."

I finally put down Qiao Jiao and took my phone out of my pocket. Only then did I realize that we were still more than ten kilometers away from Dianchi Lake. The lake in front of us was obviously not that. It should just be an artificial lake. In addition, the view was blocked at night. So it created a big misunderstanding; unfortunately, this lake has no name on the map. If it had a fairy name, it would really add some poetry to this beautiful night.

Qiao Jiao just threw her high heels casually beside the bench with a slightly unfinished expression on her face.

It's true that fantasy is something, once you start, it's hard to stop.

But this time, she was much more pragmatic and just said to me: "After saying so many unrealistic things, in fact, if you can build the scenic spot and promote it, and I can bring a commercial complex to the small town, it will be enough." Awesome!"

"Yeah, how can it be an easy thing to change a city? Sometimes even a little fantasy won't do... Let me tell you something realistic. The total population of the small town is only 28. In the past few years, there has been a lot of progress. This is the real reason why there are no large-scale complexes here... If the permanent population of a city does not reach 50, it is impossible to have large-scale complexes. The 50 I am talking about is the urban population, not Including the 28 people in the towns and small towns below, but even the towns below are included..."

"Listening to what you said, even praying to gods and Buddhas will not do this."

"Yes, investing is not charity. Especially in large-scale complexes, there is a strict data system to determine whether you can invest."

Qiao Jiao was a little discouraged, and then lost her mind looking at the unknown lake in front of her...

My cell phone vibrated at this moment. I picked it up and looked at it casually. After reading it, I became even more absent-minded because the call was from Zhao Yingrou. She still likes to be there as before. She called me late at night and talked about trivial things. To be precise, her messy moods.

"Hey."

"You haven't slept yet?"

"I won't answer your calls if I'm asleep."

"Go to bed early from now on. You are no longer young. Take good care of your body."

Zhao Yingrou is an oncology doctor. When she said this, I couldn't help but feel a little panicked. But after thinking about it carefully, I didn't have a physical examination in her hospital, so she wasn't hinting at anything, so she was still telling me. Trivial things.

So, I still responded with a coping attitude: "I know, I'll go to bed early in the future."

Zhao Yingrou fell into silence on the other end of the phone. I lit a cigarette out of boredom. After taking a heavy puff, Zhao Yingrou finally said to me: "Han Chao, I want to ask you a very serious question... In your mind , do you regard our relationship as one of your many emotional experiences?"

I was a little surprised and didn't know why she asked this suddenly.

She thought I didn't understand, so she explained again: "Or, let's put it this way, would you regard me as your first girlfriend?"

"What's there to question? You've even opened the room. If you avoid even being your first girlfriend, what's the difference between that and being a hooligan?"

"I have never avoided it. You are my first boyfriend."

"Ah."

"Han Chao..."

Zhao Yingrou called my name and suddenly fell into silence.

I felt a little impatient, so I urged, "I can hear you, just tell me."

"I'm getting married!"

I opened my mouth subconsciously, which was a sign of surprise.

Zhao Yingrou choked up and said to me again: "I just suddenly thought of you... Then, I felt a little regretful... I regretted that I didn't treat you better when we were together... We have been together for so long, and I didn't even get a decent gift. I gave it to you, but I only want to ask for it from you."

"It's not interesting to say this. You can ask for it from me because I had money at that time. If you didn't have money, you wouldn't be able to get it if you wanted it."

"I know you are a kind person. You said this to make me feel better." "Don't, don't, don't... What you said to me feels like it was last century... Hurry up Relax, what happened between us is not a document, don't make it look like archeology!" After a pause, I took the initiative to change the topic and said: "You are getting married, so let's talk about the groom. Point."

"What kind of person do you think he will be?"

"Must be rich."

"I don't have much money. He is a doctor just like me, and he is two years younger than me, so when we are together, I spend more money... But he is quite handsome."

"That's pretty good, at least more than 90.00% of people."

"I want to ask you one last question, what do you think of first love?"

This time, I fell into silence, and after a long time I replied: "I have a little fantasy, especially after something happened in our family and you came to me to break up... I was wondering if there would be anything The unspeakable difficulties are just like those sadomasochistic hatreds written in novels..."

Zhao Yingrou echoed my words and said: "For example, after I had your child, my parents knew that your family was bankrupt and they firmly disagreed with me being with you. In order to save this child, I reluctantly chose to break up and live alone. The child was secretly given birth to in school..."

I was dumbfounded, and then sighed: "As expected, you women still think about this kind of thing!"

"Many romance novels are written like this... However, there is no such thing. I just can't accept your family's bankruptcy. I don't know how to look forward to the future with you."

"Yes, this is reality."

"Sometimes I also think that so many people praise first love and never forget it... to you, what is the meaning of my first love?"

"Help me find my parents."

Zhao Yingrou was stunned for a long time before she said, "Finally, I did a good thing."

"Well, not all first loves have to be unfinished, and not all first loves have to be heart-wrenching when you think about them..."

"Yes, first love does not mean regret and difficulty."

"Of course, so when you told me that you were going to get married, I was just surprised... There is nothing wrong with a flash marriage. As long as you feel it is right, there is no need to explain it to others, especially my first love." After a pause, I Then he asked Zhao Yingrou: "So, can you let go?"

"can."

"Then live a good life."

"Well, I won't call you again."

"It's best not to fight."

Zhao Yingrou smiled and finally said to me: "Okay... by the way, take good care of Chao Chao, I miss him a lot."

"I will definitely take care of it." Follow the Weixin public account: the 98th story, reply "works", and get the txt of all Tank's books.

"so be it."

"Ah."

I responded like this, and Zhao Yingrou hung up the phone. I never thought that the last word I said to her would be "um." So far, we have never contacted each other again, let alone met.

I think this is the most real!
Regarding first love, there is no need to exaggerate it. It was probably what Zhao Yingrou and I were like, because we were really too young and ignorant of the world at that time. Since we didn’t get involved in the world, how could there be so much love, hatred, and bitterness? Sadomasochism?
I don't even feel that I have any regrets. Maybe Zhao Yingrou will have some, just like she said, she didn't treat me better when we were together.

However, I am relieved.

……

Putting away these emotions, I subconsciously looked at Qiao Jiao sitting next to me, and suddenly felt that I couldn't let go easily, and this is the real sadomasochism, because we are both mature and have participated in too many things together. In the world, the long process of getting along is accompanied by dedication, helplessness, unwillingness, emotion, desire and expectation...

When so many emotions are mixed together, how can you let go? How else can you let go?

(End of this chapter)