i'm not a bad man

Chapter 513 How could she be willing?

These days, the only thing I force myself to do is to forget about Qiao Jiao and her wedding. I almost succeeded, but Zuo Xiaowei’s unexpected mention brought my thoughts back to Qiao Jiao. Until now, I still don’t know when her wedding will be, but Lu Xi and Qin Minhong are already preparing gifts for her wedding, and it must be very soon.

I couldn't help but feel all kinds of emotions in my heart, and it was a long time before I spoke to Zuo Xiaowei: "If you think about it carefully, my contribution to Qiao Jiao is not as much as you think. She has always given more... She has given me more When did the giving begin? Let me think about it."

I lit a cigarette, closed my eyes and took a deep breath, and then said to Zuo Xiaowei: "It was after you and I went to the small town. At that time, there were already problems with our relationship... I was quite confused. Yes, it was also very negative, because someone told me bluntly that there might be an affair between Guan Yubo and you, especially in high school... At that time, I came to BJ with this confused and negative mood. , the purpose was to treat Yu Li’s eyes. It happened that Qiao Jiao was also preparing to study abroad at that time and was transferring from BJ; we met in BJ, she felt my mood, in order to motivate me, in order to make me have enough money. Desire; that day, she withdrew 600 million in cash from the bank. The 600 million in cash was spread all over the bed... I have never seen so much cash in my life, piled together, such a visual impact... It was shocking! I can only say it was shocking!... It was from that time on that I decided to make a career in a small town instead of being habitually decadent... Later, I helped Chang Tianming build the Danangou Scenic Area. This matter...At that time, I used all the resources I had accumulated on the road, but it was not all smooth sailing...because Guan Yubo did not allow the small town to have a second scenic spot that could equal him. Under his intervention , we encountered a crisis of trust from the investors; in order to dispel the investors’ doubts, Qiao Jiao sold the villa that her mother had fought for during the divorce for a total of 2000 million, and then, as my fake girlfriend, she also The scenic spot invested in a B&B, which completely dispelled the investor's doubts. After all, my girlfriend came to invest, so I would not cheat my girlfriend... Later, when Luan Yu passed away, she accompanied her throughout the whole process. I went to Kunming to visit Luan Yu’s parents, and they took me to a place called Mirror House. She said that this place had cured her misfortune, because her parents divorced too early, and she also had many unspeakable hurts in her heart. Pain... This kind of pain gave us a lot of resonance... So, especially when we were in a small town, at a certain moment, I really felt that she was someone who would always be by my side no matter what adversity I encountered. As my close lover, we went to the supermarket to buy daily necessities together, and rode electric bikes together on the streets of the small town... Once, it snowed very heavily in the small town, and the electric bike was running out of power, so I let her sit on it. On the electric car, I pushed the electric car by myself, stepping on the snow, one deep and one shallow, towards the place where we live... To say that this is probably the only amount I paid to her, and I still have free time. When I was young, I cooked several meals for her, but even that made her miss her for a long time... She told me that she would always think of the scene where I pushed her forward in the snow..."

I haven't spoken so many words for a long time, so that when I finished saying these, it seemed that my thoughts had been drained, and then my brain went blank. I could no longer think of anything else. I just lowered my head and silently sucked the burning hand on my hand. cigarettes.

Zuo Xiaowei also fell into silence, and spoke after a long time: "Listening to what you said, I feel that she is not getting married, but going to the execution ground... How could she be willing to do so?!"

I looked at Zuo Xiaowei and was stunned for a long time...

How could getting married be the same as going to the execution ground?
This metaphor is not good.

……

"But there's one thing I didn't understand. Since Qiao Jiao loves you so much, why would she rashly choose to marry someone else? Marriage is not the same as falling in love. There is no regret medicine."

"Let's not talk about this anymore, okay?..."

"But I want to know..."

"I know, I know... I know everything, is it really okay?... Just like before, I didn't know we had a child. I could still control my emotions about many things, but now I can't. …”

I realized that I was a little out of control. After I calmed down, I lowered my voice and said to Zuo Xiaowei: "Isn't the way we are getting along with each other bad now? Why do you have to explore something that has nothing to do with you in the first place? ?”

"For me, it matters... It's because I care that I want to know more about where I lost... I didn't lose unfairly. When I put pressure on you and made you confused, she used 600 million in cash motivates you..."

"You are different."

"Yes, people have their origins. I am just a woman from an ordinary family. There are some things that I know I have oppressed and put pressure on you, but I am still powerless."

"Why do we have to compare the results that are determined by fate?" After a pause, I said in a lower voice: "The one who really should reflect on it is me. I owe a lot of people, but these four words are determined by fate. , it’s like a big mountain is pressing on me. I know I owe it, but I can’t do anything for this debt... Maybe you can’t see it, but this feeling of powerlessness has made me breathless. I'm not angry anymore... The only thing I can do now is to be nicer to you. It seems I still have a chance to make amends with you."

Having said this, my indifferent heart felt the urge to cry again.

This time, I am very honest. I really have no chance to make amends with some people, because Luan Yu has passed away, and Lu Xi and Qiao Jiao... When I think of what I have been burdened with, I cannot help but rely on my heart. Approach them with enthusiasm.

Zuo Xiaowei is right. She knew clearly that she oppressed me and put pressure on me at that time, but she was still powerless. And I am in the same mood as she was at that time.

We are all ordinary people in this society. Facing the ups and downs of life, it is normal to be powerless; therefore, when I came to BJ this time, I really found a lot of resonance with Zuo Xiaowei.

We are the real kind of people!

……

I let out a heavy breath, forced myself to calm down, and then said to Zuo Xiaowei, who was also trying to calm down her emotions: "Let's wash the dishes and chopsticks together... Then, I will take you to do something fun. "

Zuo Xiaowei was finally diverted and asked me, "What's something fun?"

I didn't rush to answer, I just asked: "Do you think we are too busy now?"

"It's very free. Apart from rehearsing for two hours in the morning, I don't have anything else to do... You are even more free. Unless inspiration comes, most of the time, there is nothing to do."

"So, we have a lot of time to waste..."

"After going around for a long time, you still haven't told me what the fun thing is."

"Wash the dishes first, and then I'll take you to do this fun thing..."

"Are you sure it's fun?"

"Definitely, when I felt the most hopeless in my life, besides writing songs, this was the only thing I could do."

After saying that, I pulled Zuo Xiaowei up from the seat, then handed a bunch of bowls and chopsticks to her hands. I also took a bunch of them and walked towards the kitchen together.

Looking out through the kitchen window, it is still raining outside, so that the whole city is still enveloped in a layer of cold moisture. For someone like me who hates rain, I really need such a thing. Come and kill the boredom of being stuck in the house due to the rain.

(End of this chapter)