i'm not a bad man

Chapter 48 It's Us

Zuo Xiaowei felt that she was extremely awake, but she looked at me unsteadily. How could this be considered sober?A truly sober person must be restrained and rational, but she is taking risks, because it is impossible for me to go to a completely unfamiliar city like BJ to do something that I no longer feel is necessary...

Based on this self-awareness, I finally replied under the gazes of Zuo Xiaowei and Ren Ran: "I have stopped making music for four years. To be honest, in these four years, I have no desire to create in my heart. , and there is no inspiration for creation. In my heart, music is just a tool for healing. It is not a means of making a living or a tool for making money. When I am not in so much pain, I have no motivation to create... So , even if I choose to have a BJ fight with you, we will definitely have all kinds of conflicts during the process, because my talent can no longer support your inflated enthusiasm and desire... not to mention..."

At this point, I turned my attention to Ren Ran and said to Zuo Xiaowei: "I have promised Sister Ran that I will start a career with her. You also know this, so don't let me Be a person who goes back on your word.”

"In your heart, is making music really inferior to working on a construction site?"

"At this stage, I want to go to the construction site more."

Zuo Xiaowei nodded painfully: "Okay, for this reason, if I still force you, it would be really pointless... From now on, you can work hard with Sister Ran. Anyway, you can get out of 365 lines." Number one scholar..."

After saying that, Zuo Xiaowei picked up her satchel and walked straight outside; I felt a little uncomfortable because I knew what such a rejection meant to her.

"Han Chao, why are you still standing there? At least go and comfort her. Don't make her feel resentful. At least she is sincere to you. Although the method is a bit problematic, this is not something she would do at her age. Well, there are some young people who are not vigorous."

Ren Ran's words made me feel even more uncomfortable; suddenly, I remembered something, so I quickly got up, and then hurriedly chased Zuo Xiaowei in the direction he left.

……

Fortunately, I caught up in time. Not far away, I saw Zuo Xiaowei standing on the other side of the road, waiting for a taxi. I walked quickly to Ren Ran's car, and then took out the bag I said before. The USB flash drive that I wanted to give to her caught up with Zuo Xiaowei again.

I pulled Zuo Xiaowei's arm. When she saw it was me, she became uncontrollably excited. She shook me off and asked, "You like being with Sister Ran so much, and you came here to find me?" What am I doing?"

"This matter has nothing to do with Sister Ran. Can we have a few words calmly?"

"You don't want to go to BJ with me at all, what else is there to talk about between us!"

I grabbed Zuo Xiaowei's arm again, and then forcefully pushed the USB flash drive into her hand; Zuo Xiaowei looked at me in surprise...

After taking a deep breath, I said softly: "This USB flash drive contains all the works I have created since I started playing music... You can use it and package yourself as an original singer..." After a pause, I added: "You are right, there are too many female singers who can sing, and there are only a handful of female singers who have creative ability and can write their own songs... When you are labeled as an original singer, your future will definitely be better. Walk a lot.”

Zuo Xiaowei was stunned for a while, and then she said to me: "Every creator treats his or her works as children... Are you really willing to give them to me?"

"I can't bear to leave, but I think it's worth it... Sometimes giving up is for a better start... I hope you can understand."

Zuo Xiaowei struggled for a moment, finally squeezed her hand, and then nodded and said: "Okay, from now on, these songs will be mine. I hope you don't regret it."

"I won't regret if I can help you achieve your dreams... However, most of these songs don't have lyrics, so you should take the time to fill them in."

"I don't have the talent like you, so I can only pick up what's available."

"Then you should use the ones with lyrics first...the ones without lyrics, you don't have to belittle yourself...try them and then talk about it."

Zuo Xiaowei's face was complicated, but it was no longer as violent as before. She stared at me with this expression for a long time, until a taxi without passengers stopped beside us.

I watched her get into the car. During the whole process, we never said a word again, but I could clearly feel that this was a watershed between us. At this point, we would each have a completely different life. Life; I hope she can realize her dream and I can work smoothly.

……

When she returned to the barbecue restaurant, she saw Ren Ran staring blankly at a table of barely touched dishes. She probably didn't expect that the original plan was just to have a simple get-together, but in the end it ended up being a bit difficult.Ren Ran must be blaming herself, but I don't blame her, because I didn't expect Zuo Xiaowei to come to Tianjin with such a purpose.

"What are you thinking about?"

Ren Ran looked melancholy, and then sighed: "I'm just a little worried about Xiao Wei, is that Lin Xiangyu forcing her too hard, otherwise she wouldn't go to Tianjin and say such things to you. "

"It's possible." "You really have to take care of yourself in the future and don't flirt around... This is all the romantic debt you caused. Everyone knows that Xiaowei really likes you. If she doesn't treat you as a If he is his boyfriend, he will not have such demands on you... If he is just an ordinary friend, no one has to bear such responsibility to anyone, right? "

"Yes."

Ren Ran sighed: "She is just saying she has given up, but she has not given up yet in her heart!"

……

After dinner, Ren Ran and I walked on the street. Ren Ran seemed to be worried and didn't speak. It wasn't until we walked to another street that she said to me: "What are you going to do about your parents?" manage?"

After pondering for a while, I replied: "Let's go back to Qingdao to do some work first, and then we'll find out more about it later."

"Where are your parents from?"

"My dad is from Qinghai. He is the only son in the family. My grandparents have already left. It is unlikely that he will go back."

"What about your mother?"

I shook my head and replied: "It's impossible to go back to my mother's hometown... I have a younger uncle, and my grandpa dotes on him very much. My uncle didn't get married until he was 35 years old. Maybe the woman has more conditions for getting married. At that time, my grandfather forced my mother to give him 30 yuan to support him. At that time, something happened to my family. My grandfather called my mother every three days to make trouble. Later, he even came to Tianjin to make trouble. My mother was arrested. She was really helpless, so she sold all her jewelry and gave 30 to my uncle... But from that time on, she had already lost her heart towards that family and said she would never be with that family again. Coming and going..."

"It seems that your parents are also poor people. No wonder they have such high expectations for you... But your parents forcing you like this is no different from your grandfather forcing her. After all, you also Pitiful."

I bowed my head and remained silent.

Ren Ran patted my shoulder lightly again and said, "Believe me, it will be fine... Tomorrow we will go to the police station and ask them to help contact your parents' hometown to see your dad. Is mom here? If she is really not here, we will go back to Qingdao to do some work first. After finishing this project, I will go to them with you... maybe we can catch up with the Chinese New Year and have a reunion dinner. "

I know that this is not something that can be done easily, but with Ren Ran's comfort, I feel a little more comfortable; and there is no other woman in this world who can give me this feeling like Ren Ran. With her by my side, I feel at ease and don’t have to worry about her leaving... So, these days, I always think about: If my family really has such a gentle and considerate sister, from which Would reconciliation prevent us from reaching this point?
In the past, no matter how far I walked, I at least knew where my home was. But now, even this home is gone. This kind of emptiness and pain is like a big tree that is still alive, but has been uprooted and thrown into the wasteland. , exposed to the sun, and corroded by wind and rain.

……

This night, Ren Ran and I found a hotel nearby and stayed.Unable to sleep, I just stood on the balcony and watched. I tried to find a trace of human warmth in the lights of the city. I seemed a little numb. There were countless lights in front of my eyes, but what I thought of were those wandering in the lights. Next, a slightly indifferent face...

Yes, I'm serious. I can't stand other people's rumors that I'm going to jail. I think this is the major reason that caused my parents to leave, so that there is not even a chance for reconciliation.

Lighting a cigarette, shaking my head and sighing, I retracted my gaze, and then took out the eyebrow pencil that Lu Xi gave me from my pocket. I can't live without it until my eyebrows grow out. it……

I wanted to send her a message, but in the end I held back because I didn't think of anything worth talking about.

At this time, my cell phone rang. I thought it was connected with Lu Xi, but it was a message from Qin Minhong. She said: "I want to verify something from you. Look at this photo. It's you and Lu Xi." ?"

There was a short delay in sending the photo. After waiting for a while, it was sent from Qin Minhong.

I was a little surprised. Yesterday, the scene of Lu Xi drawing my eyebrows on the street was photographed by passers-by and posted online. However, because Lu Xi was wearing a hat, I lowered my head, resulting in two eyebrows in the photo. Individuals cannot see the face clearly and it is difficult to identify it, but as the person involved, I can definitely identify it.

"It's us."

Qin Minhong was in a good mood, and sent several smiling faces in succession, and said: "I didn't expect you guys to make such rapid progress. What I want is this kind of feeling that can't be explained, but can make people think about it... What you did Yes, the public opinion on the Internet has been moderated a lot some time ago. When Lu Xi can make a comeback, you will have completed your mission... then, you can leave and live your normal life."

"What if I don't want to leave and want to stay friends with her?"

After a long time, Qin Minhong sent me a shocked expression.

(End of this chapter)