i'm not a bad man

Chapter 405 Out of Control Emotions

Before night came, Lu Xi and I sat at the same table to eat as before. The dinner was very sumptuous, mostly featuring farm dishes with local characteristics. My godmother also made chicken soup for Lu Xi. She said Lu Xi is too thin and needs to replenish her body; this is of course the perspective of the elders. In fact, Lu Xi is not that kind of withered figure. Her figure is very well-proportioned. But as a star, in order to be more photogenic, she is indeed taller than her in reality. Women generally look thinner, but also more refined.

Celebrities must strictly control their figure, but at this dining table, Lu Xi lost this self-discipline. She ate whatever my godmother asked her to eat. She even drank two bowls of chicken soup in a row. If Qin Minhong Knowing that she eats like this, she will definitely want to kill me, because she came to this place where nothing restricts her because of me.

I reminded her that it would be best to eat less, so as not to affect her announcement later in the year, but she said she must eat more because their poker game would last until the middle of the night, and if she didn't eat more, she would be hungry before the middle of the night.

At this moment, I was a little confused, because I really couldn’t tell whether she was a self-disciplined person. I said she was not self-disciplined. In the past, every time she ate, she refused all food with oil and water. She was said to be self-disciplined, but she is like this now. Looks like this; at least this night, I think she probably ate more than me!

……

After dinner, I had nothing to do, so I organized a card game with my third child. This is how it is in rural areas. After people who go out to work come back, they have limited entertainment activities, and most of them will kill time by playing cards; this is different from It was different when Luan Yu and I came. At that time, there were almost no young adults in the village and it was relatively quiet. However, because the Chinese New Year was approaching, even at night, there would be many people standing at the entrance of the village, waiting for opportunities to tease. Playing cards.

For rural people, this is probably the most wonderful time of the year. Not only do families get together, but they also smoke good cigarettes, drink good wine, and chat about their time away from home during the year. This is very important to Lu Xi and me. Fresh, because this is our first opportunity to celebrate the New Year in the countryside.

This sense of freshness directly caused us to stay up late at night at the card table. After the game, we met at the entrance of the village and stopped together.

This time, it was me who spoke first, and I said to her: "You are in a good mood!"

"You're in good spirits too."

"Did you win any money?"

"I lost three hundred, what about you?"

"Just won three hundred."

Lu Xi looked at me, her heart seemed a little unbalanced, and she said to me: "Are your poker skills that good?"

"Good poker skills are one thing, but the main thing is good luck."

"If you win money, you have to treat me to dinner."

"We are not in the same card game. Even if we want to invite, we will invite our card buddies on that card table."

"Han Chao, you definitely didn't win, you just wanted to save face."

"If you don't believe it, I'll show you the transfer records."

After saying that, I took my mobile phone out of my pocket, only to find that there was a missed call from Zhao Yingrou on it. I immediately became nervous, although she always likes to call me late at night. But now there are Xiao Chen and Jiani. Jiani's condition is like a time bomb, there is a risk of deterioration at any time. I am afraid that her call is related to Jiani.

I frowned and quickly called Zhao Yingrou...

After Zhao Yingrou got through, I quickly asked: "Why are you calling me at this time? Is there something going on with Jiani?"

"Are you so unsure of Union Hospital?...The situation at Jiani is pretty good."

My hanging heart was relieved, and then I complained: "Don't tell me that you called me so late just to chat."

"Are you so afraid of chatting with me?"

"It's not that I'm afraid of making small talk with you. What I'm afraid of is that we have no common topic and insist on having an awkward chat."

Zhao Yingrou seemed to be affected by my words. She said to me in a very cold voice: "This is not an awkward chat... I called you so late because I wanted to tell you... A classmate called me to tell me, I seem to have seen your dad on the street..." I was stunned and couldn't speak for a long time; maybe it was because we had been separated for too long. I never thought that I would suddenly hear their voices on such a night. News, in my subconscious, if one day our family can reunite, I must have gone through all the hard work to find it, and it will not come so easily, because God will definitely punish me for running away from home. …

I finally spoke and asked, "Are you sure it was my dad she saw?"

"I asked her the same thing... She said that it was basically certain, because she had a very deep impression of your dad... She told me something, saying that in her sophomore year of high school, your dad organized an organization at the school on behalf of the parents of the students. Speaking at the swearing-in ceremony, that kind of demeanor, that kind of conversation, that kind of foresight, and the spirit of breaking the ice and reforming were something she had never seen before... It's just..."

My heartbeat became faster and faster: "Just what?"

After Zhao Yingrou hesitated for a moment, she whispered to me: "Your dad seems to be having a hard time now... She saw your dad at a scrap collection station. Your dad pulled a cart of scraps and was waiting to be bought there. …”

I suddenly laughed and said: "That's nonsense, that's nonsense... Why would my dad collect scraps!"

"It was because of the matter of collecting scraps that she didn't dare to be completely sure. Everyone knew that your father used to be a successful man. Even if he was down and out, he couldn't be like this... So, she stood there hesitating for a long time and didn't Dare you admit it... By the time she came to her senses and wanted to talk to your dad, your dad had already left on an electric tricycle."

My mood was shaken. I still remember that when I went to the small town with Zuo Xiaowei, the thing that the two of us fantasized about the most was that my dad would regain his glory after suffering hardships, even more glorious than before; based on this Fantasy made me feel less guilty. After all, after I left, he finally realized his long-cherished wish to make a comeback, and he was living a good life.

Now, suddenly a person came to me and told me that he was selling scraps. How could I accept this gap calmly?
"Nonsense, fart... There's no way my dad is going to collect scraps... There's no way his ability, knowledge, and experience could be related to collecting scraps." There was no way to vent my feelings with this kind of swearing. , I said in a deep voice to Zhao Yingrou on the other end of the phone: "You have met my dad more than once... Can you connect my dad with a waste collector?... My dad started to become successful at the age of 30. At the age of 32, I bought my first car in 35, when motorcycles were not even popular yet... When I was 38 years old, I bought the most expensive commercial house in Tianjin... When he was 300 years old, I accompanied him to the bank to withdraw money. , the thing we carry money in is a sack. Did you know that a sack is something that can’t even hold 40 million cash? The sack of cash was carried out by two of us... When he was [-] years old, he bought a Mercedes-Benz S series As a birthday gift for myself, that day he drove this Mercedes-Benz and took my mother and I for a ride on the street. There were envious and jealous eyes everywhere... Now you actually tell me that he is collecting scrap... Such a person, Will he collect scraps?...Zhao Yingrou, I want you to tell me, is it possible that he will collect scraps?"

After a period of silence, Zhao Yingrou finally spoke to me and said: "I know you can't accept this gap in your heart, and I don't believe it either, but she is very sure... If you really don't believe it, I will send you her phone number. You can call her yourself and ask her."

"Don't ask, that's bullshit!"

"Han Chao, what's wrong with you? Finally got the news about your father. Shouldn't your first reaction be to be happy? Why are you so angry and irritable?"

"In the future, don't tell me things that have nothing to do with facts as a possibility."

"Are you so afraid of him later, making a living by collecting scraps?" (Many book friends said that Han Chao's parents have made a comeback. Search and follow the author's personal satellite account number: ***. Reply: Parents, take a look Did you guess correctly?)
"Yes, he is the strong man in my heart, omnipotent..."

"But what's wrong with collecting waste? If you don't steal, you won't rob."

My tone of voice became more and more out of control: "It's okay to collect scraps... Anyone can collect scraps, but he can't!"

After saying that, I hung up the phone, but my hands and feet were trembling. My emotions have never been out of control because of frustration. I don’t know if the word “aggrievance” is appropriate, but losing control is real.

……

"Han Chao, is there any news about your family?"

I sat heavily on the stone at the entrance of the village, and then looked up at Lu Xi who had listened to everything.

A feeling of inferiority suddenly came to my heart.

I can't control this emotion. Although I also know that this is neither stealing nor robbing, there is no way I can associate my dad with such a profession, because for a long time, he has been in my heart. A strong man and a role model. Until now, I have benefited from the experiences and principles he taught me. Based on these principles and spiritual height, even if I can't make a comeback and become rich, I won't make a living by selling scraps.

The feeling of inferiority is followed by a surge of guilt.

I was almost defeated, on such a night approaching the Chinese New Year.

(End of this chapter)