i'm not a bad man

Chapter 362 He is a very powerful man

I don’t know why Qiao Jiao took the initiative to mention Lu Xi to Zhao Yingrou. In fact, before I came to Tianjin, I thought that treating Jiani and meeting Lu Xi and that man were two things that could be treated separately, but Qiao Jiao was so As a matter of fact, people who should not have crossed paths in the first place seemed to have the opportunity to cross paths, but it was difficult to judge whether this was the right thing to do or redundant...

Zhao Yingrou looked at me with a strange look, then smiled and said: "You have always told me that you don't have a girlfriend. I thought your emotional world was blank, but I didn't expect that you already have a woman you like... I'm quite curious, because I never thought that one day you would take the initiative to like a woman... So, if there is a chance, I must meet her..." After saying that, she turned to Qiao Jiao and asked: "What kind of woman is she?"

"She is my best friend. We have known each other for almost 20 years."

It is hard to imagine that Qiao Jiao would answer Zhao Yingrou in such a way. This seemed to be a bit wrong with the question, so that Zhao Yingrou also looked at a loss.

At this time, Qiao Jiao spoke to Zhao Yingrou again: "I'm a little tired after driving for a day. I'll find a place to rest first and you guys can chat for a while."

After saying that, Qiao Jiao put down the wine glass in her hand and walked directly outside the hotel. My eyes followed her until she stopped on the roadside...

She put her hands in her coat pockets, and the wind blew her hair around. She stood in the wind and looked around, as if she didn't know where to place herself in such a strange city, that is, here. For a moment, I saw a kind of loneliness in her back that I had never paid attention to. It turned out that after taking off the disguise of enthusiasm, she would also be lonely.

Finally, a taxi roared from a distance and stopped beside her. She thought she would follow the taxi, but she waved to the driver who had rolled down the window, and then walked in the opposite direction. Go... gradually disappeared from my sight.

I let out a long breath, feeling incomprehensible in my heart, then picked up the cup again and drank the first glass of wine tonight. When I put down the cup, I found that the cup in Zhao Yingrou's hand was also empty, and the same as me. Looking at Qiao Jiao's leaving direction, she seemed to feel something.

"Han Chao, is she really tired?"

I looked at Zhao Yingrou, and after a moment of silence, I replied, "I feel like there is something in your words."

"There is something in her words... also, a man who spends time with me, but in the end he likes his best friend. Anyone else would feel tired."

I don't speak.

"Let's have a drink, it's really been a long time!"

After saying that, Zhao Yingrou had already filled up her own cup, and then filled up my cup as well. We raised the glasses and bumped them so hard that some wine spilled; no, what was spilled was not wine, but a passionate moment. As time passes, what remains are two people who have gradually matured. There are no wild topics, only increasingly conservative and rational exchanges.

……

After coming out of the hotel, Zhao Yingrou and I wandered side by side on this street that we seemed to have visited before. After passing an intersection, Zhao Yingrou said to me: "Do you feel any different when you return to Tianjin this time?"

"It feels a little strange."

"Is it because you have been to so many places over the years that your memory of this place has been diluted?"

"Who knows... Sometimes when I can't sleep, I will think about it, but the nonsense is that I can't even remember the name of the high school. Then I compete with myself and try my best to think about it, but in the end I can’t even remember which road the school is on... I just remember that the drink shop I often went to when I was a senior in high school seemed to be called the Typhoon Shelter.”

Zhao Yingrou smiled and said, "It's not too late now, why don't I accompany you for a walk to the school?"

I shook my head, indicating that I didn't want to go, and Zhao Yingrou didn't force it. After a period of silence, she asked me with some curiosity: "Have you really been to 296 cities in the past four years?"

"I've really been there. If you include the county seat, there will only be more."

"Only you?"

I stopped and looked at Zhao Yingrou...

"Why are you looking at me like that? Did I say something wrong?"

"Stop talking about me all the time, talk about you too...how have you been living these past years?" "It's been very fulfilling. As you can see, my dream has come true."

"Ah."

After a brief silence, Zhao Yingrou said to me again: "Actually, when I was in college, I also had a relationship... but nothing came of it in the end. He was a person with loftier ambitions than me, so after graduation, he I went to the United States for further study again, and he wanted to take me with him... However, all I thought about was Tianjin. I didn't want to leave this city where I had lived for so many years... The moment I got on the plane with him, I regretted it..."

Zhao Yingrou seemed to want to explain this mental journey more clearly. She kept gesticulating with her hands, but in the end she only said this, letting all her emotions turn into a helpless smile, and she also put down her gesticulating hands.

"Now that you think about it, do you regret it?"

Zhao Yingrou nodded, then shook her head and said to me: "I don't know if this emotion is regret. Anyway, sometimes I imagine what it would be like if I went to the United States with him at that time. living conditions...but only by thinking about it.”

"Have you never contacted me again after this?"

"Hey, why are you still contacting me... I'm so sorry for him!"

I smiled, and Zhao Yingrou seemed to see through my thoughts and smiled: "But I contacted you...Whether you believe it or not, I never felt that I had anything to do with you, even though it was me who took the initiative at the time. I broke up with you."

"You can think whatever you want to think about it. There's no point in tracing it back now anyway."

"Too……"

After talking about this, Zhao Yingrou and I walked towards the next intersection. Zhao Yingrou finally changed the topic and said to me: "You have lost contact with your parents for so long. Have you ever thought about meeting again?" When that happens, what kind of scene will it be like and what kind of mood will it feel like?"

"I thought about it."

"Can we let each other go?"

"At least I'm relieved. I was too immature at the time."

"So, you are putting the blame on yourself?"

I didn't answer directly, but just sighed: "I don't know how well they have lived these years, especially my dad, who stayed in it for three years. After he came out, his mental and physical state collapsed. If bankruptcy is good for him, For him, it was a catastrophe, so my running away from home was a disaster, so leaving Tianjin was a last resort. He has no way to face his past and a future with no hope."

"Well... I think you underestimate uncle a little too much... Those difficulties are only temporary for him... He must have a way to get out of these shadows, and even surpass his former self, because he is what I see. Of all the people who have ever lived, the most capable one!"

I looked at Zhao Yingrou.

Zhao Yingrou nodded heavily again and said to me: "Believe in your dad, he is really a very powerful man!"

I am speechless because this kind of comfort is too illusory for me.

"Han Chao, let me ask you a very serious question. If they live a good life, what will happen to you? If they live a bad life, what will happen to you?"

I was confused, and after a long while I replied: "I haven't thought about this issue yet. I'll talk about it when I actually see them."

After saying that, I subconsciously looked up and finally found some memories about the city and them on the distant clock tower... It was my favorite place when I was a child. Under this clock tower, I always let They held my hand one by one, and then I would curl up my feet and mutter: Take off, take off...

They would start running, and I would laugh in the wind, as if I was really going to fly to a place where there is only happiness and no pain!

(End of this chapter)