i'm not a bad man

Chapter 189 About the past
I don’t know how long the conflict caused by that pair of bracelets will last. I am trapped in it and can’t extricate myself. I just feel that the whole world is dark, not only because of this pair of bracelets, but also countless other things that extend out of it. Contradictions, such as Guan Yubo, I never disdain to compare with anyone, but since I came to the small town, I feel like I am living under his all-pervasive shadow.

This made me very irritable, so I turned this irritability into unpleasant words and vented it on Zuo Xiaowei.

Zuo Xiaowei had tears in her eyes. After a long silence, she spoke to me: "I know it was my uncle's words that hurt your self-esteem..."

"Yes, very harsh."

"But that's his point of view, not my idea. I know very well who the person I love deeply is, and I just want to be with you."

"I don't want to hear this now. Just leave me alone to calm down for a while."

"Let me stay with you, okay? I'll also help you find a place to live."

"This matter is not urgent, just let me be quiet for a while, just for a while, okay?"

After Zuo Xiaowei hesitated again and again, she finally nodded to me, and then walked silently to the street alone. I seemed to be exhausted, so I didn't pay attention to her movements, and I didn't even take a second look at her back. Just looking down at the snow gradually melting in the sun, it took a long time to remember to light a cigarette for myself to relieve the boredom in my heart.

……

"Han Chao..."

I looked up and saw that it was Zuo Xiaowei again. Just when she was about to have a seizure, she put the bag in her hand next to me and said softly to me: "I bought you breakfast. You can eat it while it's hot... don't sit outside. Too long, it’s too cold today.”

She seemed to be able to feel my mood. After saying this, she turned and left. This time, I finally looked at her leaving back. Her hands were in her coat pockets, and she looked so lonely and lonely. helpless.

Back in the small town, we didn’t live our lives as we had imagined, but she had obviously worked very hard and I hadn’t slacked off either. So what was the problem?
I closed my eyes and opened them again, and suddenly I noticed that on the billboard in the distance, there was a promotional photo taken by Zuo Xiaowei as a tourism ambassador for the small town's tourism industry. In the photo, she looked so beautiful and high-spirited.

I couldn't help but feel a sense of sadness in my heart, as if sometimes I tried too hard and couldn't get the life I wanted; life has a track, just like Zuo Xiaowei, if you are with me, you are destined to no longer be a small town. The darling of the world is destined to endure a lot of grievances, because, looking at me from the perspective of society, I have never been an excellent person. My life is full of dissipation and wandering, as well as the so-called talents that are reluctant to be realized.

Because of this self-denial, I shook my head subconsciously, and then opened the convenience bag containing breakfast. There was a glass of milk and a hamburger in it. I put out the cigarette in my hand, and then temporarily put down my emotions. We ate while looking at the vast streets and mountains in the distance.

……

At noon, I called and asked Chang Yuli out. He was my only friend in the small town. I wanted to have a drink with him.

Chang Yuli took me to a restaurant where you can eat boiled mutton. We sat around a small table facing each other. He first said to me: "Brother, why do you want to drink at this noon?"

"I've encountered something troubling. Please have a drink with me."

Chang Yuli shook his head repeatedly: "When I came back from BJ, Jiuge specifically told me not to drink alcohol for a month. I really can't drink with you recently. If you feel bored drinking alone, I'll call you A friend is coming to stay with you."

"Forget it, I can drink alone... Just sit here and stay with me."

"Okay, you're in charge of drinking, and I'm in charge of eating."

After saying that, Chang Yuli picked up a piece of mutton and cooked it in a copper pot. I also poured a glass of white wine into the cup and drank it all in one gulp.

"Brother, what's bothering you?"

I never like to beat around the bush in front of my friends. Although it was a bit hard to say it, after pondering for a while, I still said: "It's a troublesome thing related to money. Can you spare 20? I want to talk to you." Borrow 20."

Chang Yuli looked at me with some surprise. After all, what I wanted to borrow was not a small amount. However, he did not hesitate and replied calmly: "I don't have so much money on hand now. If you don't need it urgently, at most I can help you get the money in two days.”

In fact, before Chang Yuli and I spoke, I had already predicted that although he had the aura of being the son of the richest man in the town, he had never had his own career, so his finances could not be too free. But after all, he was born in From a wealthy family, the 20 yuan would not be too difficult for him, so he gave me such an answer.

"It's quite urgent, but you can still wait for two days, but you have to confirm this with me, and I won't find anyone else to figure it out."

"Don't worry, brother, I'm sure." "Okay, I'll write you an IOU later."

"We don't need this between us." After a short pause, Chang Yuli asked me again: "Brother, are you in any trouble? Why do you suddenly need so much money?"

I replied truthfully: "Xiaowei signed a contract with a record company in BJ before, but later they broke up due to some things, which involved liquidated damages; before, we went to BJ not only to treat your eyes, but also to discuss this matter. As for the matter, we have now negotiated a compensation plan, and the 20 yuan will be compensated to the record company."

"Then this is Xiaowei's trouble."

"When two people are together, why should we share someone else's troubles? It's not anyone else's troubles."

"That said, how many people can actually do it... To be honest, brother, I really think you are quite a man!"

I fell into silence, but my mind was clear. Although I felt that I had been despised and wronged in this incident, I would not give up on Zuo Xiaowei because of this. As long as we are together, I don’t want to leave first. That one, because I am a man who is particularly easy to get used to, just like when I got used to having Luan Yu by my side, my tolerance is always higher than that of my significant other.

……

While I was silent, someone suddenly knocked on the window. Chang Yuli and I turned our heads and looked at the same time. It was the prettier of the women who had dinner with us that day. I vaguely remembered her name. It seemed that His name is Snow.

She waved to me and Chang Yuli. Chang Yuli opened the glass window, and she lay on the window sill and said to us: "What a coincidence, I just came out from the bank to do something, and I saw you two."

Chang Yuli looked at me first, and then replied: "Brother Chao happens to have no one to drink. Come in and have a drink with Brother Chao."

"Okay."

……

After Snow came in, she sat down with Chang Yuli. She was the kind of woman who was very familiar with herself. She immediately poured herself a glass of wine, and then had a drink with me. After drinking, she said to Chang Yuli again Li said: "Old Chang, when did you wear glasses? In fact, there is really no need to hide your shortcomings. We don't dislike you as much as you think. It's good to be more truthful."

"These are corrective glasses. I just went to the BJ for surgery. I can't drink recently. Otherwise, it would be your turn to drink with Brother Chao."

Snow turned his head and looked closely at Chang Yuli, and exclaimed: "Ah, your eyes have really changed. It's almost impossible to tell that you have a squint!"

"Of course, this time Brother Chao hired the best ophthalmologist in the country to perform the surgery on me. After one month, the glasses will be taken off and I will be like a normal person."

Snow smiled: "Your family is so rich, and you suddenly become handsome. You must be obsessed with the women in this small town...Old Chang, to be honest, I think your spring has come!"

This is probably what Chang Yuli wants to hear most, so he looks really happy and has a look on his face...

I had too many thoughts on my mind and couldn't empathize with him, so I just poured the wine and drank another glass silently.

"Brother Chao, why isn't Xiaowei with you?"

"She has something to do."

Snow responded, and then said with emotion: "I think you are really powerful. Xiaowei is a famous figure in our small town. We had talked before about what kind of man could be worthy of her. Come to think of it, If you want to go, Guan Yubo is the only one... But, she brought you to the small town, and it was the first boyfriend she admitted publicly, so you must be something special, right? "

"I don't have anything special about me... Actually, I'm quite puzzled as to why she left Guan Yubo alone and stayed with me?"

"She was with Guan Yubo before, but Xiaowei didn't admit it."

I looked at Snow. Snow realized that he had said something he shouldn't have said, and quickly added: "That happened a long time ago. Everyone was ignorant at that time, and it cannot be counted in the history of relationships." in."

In fact, I am also a person with a lot of past, so I don’t care what relationship history Zuo Xiaowei has, and I don’t even mind that when I have a relationship with her, it is not the first time for her, but she can’t deceive me. Based on what Shi Nuo said, her first time was probably given to Guan Yubo. In this case, she should keep a distance from Guan Yubo. But instead of drawing a clear line with Guan Yubo, she not only failed to draw a clear line with Guan Yubo, but instead Bo introduced me to me as a friend and my boyfriend, which made me look particularly stupid and stupid. It was also a very bad deception. Since we had already had a relationship, it was my ex-boyfriend, not my boyfriend. Best friend!
(End of this chapter)