Knight of the Blue Lagoon (The Past of Tao v)

12. Night (The Past of Tao i)

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"After I graduated, I went to your father's city and found out that he had another girlfriend. She was his classmate and the daughter of a high-ranking official. Only then did I understand the real reason why he didn't want to apply for a marriage certificate. I questioned him about his feelings for me. , we got into a quarrel, and your father was afraid that I would not let go, so he said some very extreme words, which disappointed me. In fact, your grandparents knew about this from the beginning and did not object to your father having this new girlfriend. It can even be said that they really hope that this girlfriend can become their daughter-in-law. Knowing that there was no way to cover it up, your grandparents came to the house to negotiate again and offered a house. This is it. This house is actually for you. My stepfather has encouraged me to sell it many times, but I will never sell it. They are responsible for your tuition and living expenses in private middle schools and universities, and also give us a sum of money. In fact, these are nothing to them, but for ordinary families, it takes a lifetime of work to earn them. Your grandparents are ordinary working-class people. These are not small sums for them, and there is no other way, so they said nothing more. But they have one request, that is, they cannot make it public. They are afraid of affecting the relationship between his son and the second-generation official. So we never mentioned this time again, not even to you. After all, it was not a glorious thing."

"You never got a marriage certificate, so I am an illegitimate daughter?"Tang Jiahui is very sad

"Even so, I'm sorry for not getting a marriage certificate with your father."My mother is very heartbroken.

"In this case, why did my father give birth to me at that time?"Tang Jiahui

"Later, during a quarrel with your father, he said that he made me pregnant on purpose to get revenge on me and the squad leader. I know this was an angry comment at that time, and his family really wanted you at that time. There is no love between two people. Anything can be a reason to break up. If you love the other person, you are a perfect person. If you don't love each other, everything will be shortcomings. But it's impossible to say that your father doesn't have any feelings for me. After all, he chased me, loved me for so long, and chased me again so fiercely. It’s just that after arriving in college, the environment has changed, the world is bigger, and I come into contact with more people. In fact, others have not changed much. He was born in a business family, so love has never been their first consideration, interests and development are. , with a larger backend business will naturally go smoothly."Mother.

At this moment, the daughter no longer complained about her mother, but began to resent the study committee member, her father. The daughter turned around and looked at her mother, hugged her mother, and then realized what her mother had experienced over the years.

She confided this painful past, The depression that had been hidden in her heart for a long time was finally released. The mother breathed a sigh of relief and held her daughter tightly in her arms.

Only then did Tang Jiahui understand why her mother's grandparents only played the role in her life. She remembered that whenever she asked about her father, whether it was her grandparents My mother kept it secret and told them that my father was dead when I asked them. But I had been foolishly dreaming that my father would come to pick me up. Now it seems that it is really naive and even childish.

"Where is my father now?"Tang Jiahui asked after a while

"You shouldn't be looking for him, I don't think he wants to see you either."Mother

"I'm not looking for him, I just want to know how he is now?"Tang Jiahui actually just wanted to know from her mother that her father was not doing well either.

"He is married to the second generation official. Your grandfather's business is becoming more and more successful. He has a child and should be living a good life. Later, the new leadership team came, brought a new atmosphere, and implemented a series of policies. It was difficult for high-end restaurants to do business, and it was difficult to sell expensive liquor. By that time, they had already moved out of the city, so they did not suffer too much. The big wave opened up a broader stage in another bigger city, and they made a fortune in real estate. The principal was not so lucky, and the academic director also changed. Only the former head teacher has never left the school. Twenty years have passed and he has never been married. Maybe he is really gay, but I have never heard of parents of students complaining about his sexual orientation. I heard other students say that they went to see him once. , there is a man from out of town living in his home, he should be retiring soon now. It is said that after the principal was dismissed, he was originally proposed to be the principal, but he did not accept it, saying that he did not like to do administration and only wanted to engage in teaching work. He is still the leader of the English teaching and research group. The class teacher is a bit idealistic, which is similar to the monitor. Maybe this is why the class teacher likes the monitor so much. It is also this kind of idealism that allows students to remember this teacher after working for many years. During the Chinese New Year, many students go Look at him, of course there are people at our level as well. No matter how many years pass, whenever the classmates are together, they will always mention our class monitor.

"Mom, do you have any photos from before?"Tang Jiahui wanted to see her mother's past.

Her mother found photos of her in college. When she was in college, her mother was very charming. There was a certain charm in her beauty. Her mother was really beautiful when she was young. Her mother also found her high school graduation photos. Tang Jiahui asked the class monitor. , only my father back then

"There are no class monitor and class teacher in the photo. The class monitor had left when this photo was taken, and we also have a new class teacher. Without them, this photo also loses a lot of meaning."Mother

"Do you have a picture of the monitor?"Tang Jiahui

"Your grandparents hated the class monitor and couldn't see his photo. Your father hated him even more and burned his photo when he saw it."Mother

"pity."

A photo in the apricot blossom forest particularly attracted her daughter. Tang Jiahui caressed her mother in the photo. Her mother's smile was pure and bright, just like the apricot blossoms in full bloom. Her mother was so happy at that time. She had never seen her so happy. Pass

"It was a weekend and the monitor took me to a nearby scenic spot to take this photo. We were very happy that day, it can be said to be the happiest time for me"

"Don't you have a photo together?"Tang Jiahui

"Of course we did. We asked other tourists to take a few pictures for us, but your father later found out and burned them. Your father's grudge-keeping is also very inferior to that of the squad leader."

Only the daughter can truly understand her mother. Throughout her life, her father did not let her have any choices, and fate did not give her too many choices. She insists that only the squad leader gave her the choice, but her mother did not grasp it.

Women have to pursue love. Of course, mothers also have the right to pursue their own love. Mother's love is so unfortunate. The resentment against her mother now seems to be a kind of selfishness, which suddenly makes Tang Jiahui feel some kind of guilt and self-blame.

How many people can have that? How many people have enough wisdom to cope with life and love, and how many people have the firm belief not to compromise with life. Obviously my mother did not, let alone the girl back then.

My mother picked up one of the photos, and she stood alone under the lights of the playground, because It was night, and I felt vague. My mother turned it over and saw a poem written on the back. My mother read it softly:

"《Night》/Wei ZhenWillNox/2019

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The gorgeous day falls into the night, and the noisy waves tend to calm down.

The moon lights up, a torch for another world.

Thoughts float in the sky, and the lonely city listens.

The mournful cry from deep in the earth is like emotion and song.

This night is far-reaching and long, and all things are enlightened"

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"Did you write it?"Tang Jiahui

"It was written by the squad leader. During the evening self-study that afternoon, the moon was very bright, so we sat on the playground and watched the moon for a while. He wrote this poem, and I later copied it on the back of the photo."Mother.

After reading it again, my mother said:"I only understand this poem now. I thought it was describing night, but it actually describes different stages of growth. When he was a teenager, he was already thinking about mature things. There are bitterness and sweetness in the process of growing up, and it is these that allow people to find their way."

My mother slept until half the morning the next day. It was rare in so many years for her to sleep comfortably until she woke up naturally. After Tang Jiahui woke up, her mother had already prepared lunch. It could be seen that her daughter also slept well and was in a good mood. She seemed to find something from yesterday's story. Today's direction was set. The dishes packed from the restaurant yesterday were heated again, and my mother cooked a few more dishes, which were very rich. She seemed to cook three meals at once. In the afternoon,

Tang Jiahui suggested cleaning the room, and they cleaned it thoroughly together. They left the room, cleaned it up, and threw all the things that had not been used for a long time, old clothes and even mother's sheets into the trash can. Only mother and Tang Jiahui's things were left in the house. They rearranged the room together and went to dinner. Grandpa and grandma's house.

Tang Jiahui suddenly became interested in the city where she was born, so her mother took her to look around, inside and outside. Her mother specially drove to a mountain in the suburbs. This is a good natural attraction in this area. Now there are many The supporting farmhouses are no longer as natural as before. In March, the apricot blossoms always give the first flower of spring to the earth, occupying the spring breeze. They are delicate and moving, prosperous and gorgeous, but can be lost in an instant. There were many tourists at that time, even very... People come from far away to take wedding photos. It’s October, there are no flowers, and there are not many tourists. The rest is a bit desolate, and the creek and autumn wind also have a refreshing feeling. My mother told Recalling how the squad leader brought her here, she felt how she felt when she climbed to the top of the mountain for the first time under the leadership of the squad leader. This was also the only time her mother climbed to the top of the mountain. Remembering that the squad leader took photos of her, she took a few photos of Tang Jiahui with her mobile phone. a photograph.