Winter Swan

It was the first time Silje told Greg something personal, and he didn't say anything. Greg just listened quietly.

"Christian is definitely an attractive man. Whenever I see him, I feel happy and comfortable. I smile more and he just makes me feel like something good is going to happen. But… even with all the positive feelings, I still feel empty deep inside. Isn't that strange? Compared to Christian, that man… He is too rough and aggressive, but still… There is an odd understanding between us. Do you think it's because we've seen the worst of each other? Do you think arguing and fighting make people closer? Do you think that makes sense? Our relationship… It's very raw."

"So it sounds like you are saying you are in love with him. When did this feeling start?"

Greg kept his hands busy with making drinks while listening to Silje attentively. He was an excellent bartender and one of the main reasons was because he was such a great listener.

"…Love? Is this love? Showing each other the most desperate side of ourselves and hurting each other? I really don't know if this is love. One thing I know, however, is that he changed my life. Until I met him, I was an average girl hoping to become independent. The only places I went to were home and school. I had no dreams and I would've become a lawyer or a doctor just like what my adoptive parents wanted for me. But I met him."

Silje took a big sip of her brown drink.

Black Russian.

She normally didn't drink much, but tonight, she wanted something strong. Under the green light, Silje revealed her past to Greg.

"My school was horrible, and when I was seventeen, he appeared in front of me. I was cornered by my bullies to the third floor of my school, and when I jumped, he caught me. If it wasn't for that incident, we would've never become close… And after that day, everything changed for me. I had no dreams, but now I am a model. It's ironic because I am not a very expressive person. I guess… He made me feel such intense emotions. The raw feelings he forced on me actually helped me to grow and become a good model. He made me feel everything, happiness, sadness, anger, and hatred. He woke me from the deep sleep that used to be my life."

After she returned to her dorm, Silje took a shower. Before she left the bar, Greg said to her, "Just do what your heart tells you to. That will be the best thing. That is what I learned from my life."

He didn't give her an answer, only vague advice, and Silje couldn't stop feeling empty inside.

Why? Even after talking to wonderful people like Jung Yun and Greg, she still felt hollow. Silje thought she was used to being alone by now, so why was she feeling this way?

She supposed that she was a human after all. When the phone rang, Silje was actually glad that someone was calling her.

When she answered, a cool voice greeted her.

"…Silje?"

"Hello?"

A relaxed voice with a faint northern European accent.

"This is your personal phone, right? Are you busy tomorrow? If you are free, I want to see you."

Christian.

It was an unexpected call, but she didn't panic. As usual, Christian was direct and Silje answered the same way.

There was no reason why she should say no to him.

No reason to avoid Christian.

***

The next day, Silje met with Christian in Midtown, Manhattan. He was waiting for her at a restaurant.

Nino's Positano. It was an Italian restaurant.

The restaurant served authentic pizza. With the red shades in the terrace, the restaurant gave a unique Italian feeling.

Silje watched the amazing pizzas being made in the stone oven. Christian smiled at her as he greeted her.

"Hello, Silje."

As usual, he made her feel comfortable and Silje smiled faintly as well.

"Hello, Christian."

"Long time no see. How have you been?"

It was the first time they met after the paparazzi photos were taken. Silje studied him quietly.

Beautiful platinum blond hair, unique hazel eyes, and his signature black thick-framed glasses. He was looking at her with noticeable interest.

He was wearing a Sherian wool coat and a pair of worn Converses.

Christian looked comfortable in his own skin, and Silje believed that he would always remain this way. He would age just like anyone, but no matter how much time passed by, Christian would never really change who he was.

Silje answered him slowly, "I've been well. Nothing special."

"It has already been two months since New York Fashion Week ended. I am getting ready again for the next season, but I still have a little bit of time nowadays, so that is why I asked to see you. I didn't forget my promise that I would buy you pizza."

"You still remember?"

"Of course. I rarely forget things."

The giant bodyguard stood nearby, but as usual, Christian ignored him and asked Silje, "I heard you are going to Paris for next season. Is that right? I have been following your moves."

"That's correct. I have been selected to participate in the Paris Collection."

"Whose?"

When Christian asked in a kind tone, Silje smiled gently.

"Lanvin, Celine, and Maison Margiela."

"Maison Margiela? You will be walking for him?"

Christian gave her a lazy smile as he continued, "Congratulations. It will suit you very well. I am excited to see you in that brand."

"Thank you."

"There is no need to thank me since I am only telling the truth."

In a calm voice, Christian continued, "I remember looking at your portfolio. You looked good in fun shows like Sonia Rykiel's runway, but simple feminine brands like Celine also suit you. The crazy thing is that you can also pull off unusual and unique looks like Dries Van Noten and Jean Paul Gautier. A good model is like a chameleon, and you are one of the best, Silje."

Christian was direct yet kind, and Silje felt relaxed when talking with him. She knew that he would be a wonderful person to hang out with. They would eat good food and enjoy the wonderful city. If she became Christian's friend, she would have a lot of fun.

But the strange thing was that although she knew befriending Christian was a good thing, a smart thing, she still couldn't shake off her sadness.

She felt no interest in Christian. He didn't matter to her. He was a stranger to her.

And they would never become more than that. She could never feel close to him.

Besides, Christian was a busy man and was uninterested in her. Even as they talked, his cell phone rang frequently.

"It's me, Emma. Did you call me just now?"

He was a workaholic and he was always in constant contact with his three women.

Sherian's creative director, Cynthia.

Art director, Emma.

Christian's secretary, Anne.

And Silje felt like Christian was inviting her into this world.

His world.

If she did enter his realm, Silje knew it would be a busy but wonderful life of fashion.

And it was all up to her.

Her decision.