Will of chaos

871 Cap 869: What I am?

It was hard for me to understand how so much time could have passed like this, I was sure it had only been a few minutes at the most, but the single Moon that shows itself inside my Dungeon is irrefutable proof of the passage of time.

"I think it's better to go back to the mansion, we can continue tomorrow." (I)

"Yes, I have something I want to try tomorrow too." (Natasha)

"Are you going to keep teaching me about holy power?" (I)

"Of course not, you should understand now." (Natasha)

"For you who finally fully understand the origin and characteristics of your sacred power as a Demigod, it should be easier and more intuitive to use than your own Aura, how you use it is up to you." (Natasha)

"Trying to teach you more about holy power would be like trying to teach you how to move your own arm, it's the kind of thing you learn on your own." (Natasha)

My sister and I go back to the city floor and head straight to the mansion while I am getting familiar with my holy power.

When we got back to the mansion there was a big feast with a wide variety of meats of all kinds, it was the kind of feast that appears in vegan nightmares.

Margareth asked Caryna for help in preparing this feast in celebration of my sister's rebirth.

It was no surprise when the buffet got bigger and bigger as more and more people seemed to spill out of the ground, before I knew it the celebratory feast had become yet another festival in the manor's Garden that lasted until sunrise.

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In the afternoon of the next day.

I was together with my sister on the same Dungeon floor yesterday, I didn't know what she wanted to do today, but I'm sure I'll learn a lot from her.

"What's it going to be about today? I remember you saying it's not going to be about holy power." (I)

My sister was looking at me with an amused smile on her face.

"You know, I can feel your Aura and the blood coursing through your veins, I also have eyes to see the typical characteristics of that race in you, so why are you afraid of its power?" (Natasha)

It took me just half a second to understand what she was talking about, I already knew what she wanted to train today.

"My appearance has already changed a lot sister, you may not understand, but I was born as a Leech in this world." (I)

The memories of that time are vivid in my mind as if it happened yesterday, I still remember the confusion of that first day, confusion about my body, confusion about where I was born, confusion about hunger, and confusion about those first monsters.

But the confusion was just the first layer of what I was feeling, it wasn't until long after I realized that I was gripped by fear, despair, and anxiety.

"I am an Outsider, my ancient world had no monsters, Gods were ethereal existences with many doubts whether they exist or not." (I)

"I had a weak body at the time, but I was still Human, the world was peaceful at least where I lived." (I)

"But when I was born into this world, I was a monster, my first meal was another Leech who could have been a brother and he wasn't the only one." (I)

"I was a monster killing without hesitation, the shock for me to have a body so far from a person like that..." (I)

I know I went crazy a long time ago, in the past, I would never have killed a person so easily, much less resorted to torture, nor would I have the courage to go into a fight since I was always against it.

I've accepted what I am now, but that doesn't mean past traumas are gone, I don't care about Leeches, what bothers me is the thought of losing my humanoid appearance, I'm afraid of straying too far from my humanity even if I'm not Human this world.

Boommm!!

"Argh!!!" (I)

"You are an idiot!?" (Natasha)

"I know that you have a Dragon transformation ability, its because I have that ability, so it's impossible for you not to have it." (Natasha)

"True Dragons can switch between their true forms and their humanoid forms, our process may be reversed, but it's still the same, you idiot!" (Natasha)

"You must stop avoiding who you are! What you are!!" (Natasha)

"Do you think I didn't notice what you call our mother? You treat her like the devotees and believers, you don't even call her mother even though you are the most favored by her." (Natasha)

"I lost interest in training today, let's go back and see if you think about what I said, if you have that mediocre thought tomorrow I'll beat you up, got it!?" (Natasha)

My sister punched me in the face which sent me through some trees, she continued to lecture me like I was some kind of stubborn child.

I understood what she said, these are things that pop into my mind sometimes, but because they are subjects I don't want to think about, I always push them to the back of my mind.

Sigh

"(What I am...)" (I)

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Pov Natasha (Living Brutality):

When we arrived at his house, I flew out to get to know the place better, before I realized it Margareth was already at my side.

"My lady, why did her brother look so shaken?" (Margareth)

"Why did I tell some truths, the idiot is denying who he is without realizing it, he wants to deny being a True Dragon or being the son of a Goddess, an idiot!" (I)

I couldn't accept something so ridiculous, someone, who is leading others this way, someone with so many followers to deny himself like this is offensive.

"Young Zenos has been in this world for a short time, he hasn't been here for 5 years, in his previous world he wasn't anyone important either." (Margareth)

"He can't understand the position he's in, he thinks he doesn't deserve it, he thinks it can be normal." (Margareth)

"This is something more than idiotic, we are special and that is a fact both for good and for bad, denying it is the same as running away like a coward, it is also meaningless since you cannot stop being what you already are it became." (I)

"If tomorrow he's still undecided, I'll pummel his head until I crush that cowardice in his brain with my fists!" (I)

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