Will of chaos

I was on the balcony of my room when Samira jumped from the floor to me, she was sitting reading a book on healing magic while occasionally shifting her eyes to Vanessa.

"What's up Samira?"  (I)

"Are you still thinking about that Vampire or are you just worried about Vanessa, Dad?"  (Samira)

Sigh

"It's always so weird to hear people taller than me call myself dad, it makes me feel old when I'm actually the youngest here."  (I)

"That's the hierarchy of Vampires, we should call you Father or Patriarch."  (Samira)

"Patriarch is very formal..." (I)

"You're changing the subject."  (Samira)

"..." (I)

"I know Vanessa is fine, but I'm worried she hasn't woken up yet, she didn't tell me she was going to do that."  (I)

"She said yes, we just didn't correctly understand the meaning of what she said."  (Samira)

"I don't know much about the Gods, I was an atheist in our previous life, but I heard that the Goddess Selene saved her centuries ago and sent her to you to finish the job, so I don't think this Goddess would do anything that might hurt Vanessa."  (Samira)

"I understand that in my head too, but my emotions won't change until I see her awake and can lecture her."  (I)

"Just like she and Irina and the others do to you whenever you do something dangerous or reckless?"  (Samira)

"Did you come here just to pester me?"  (I)

"Also, but I came to see how you felt about the Vampire, I can only imagine what you're thinking now because I've been there."  (Samira)

Unlike Lilith, I can't see the Aura of vengeance directed at someone, so I can only try to understand a person by seeing what little I've heard about the history of this Realm and what I've seen today.

"I hoped he begged for his life or blamed someone else, maybe even come up with a more convenient excuse."  (I)

"From what Sakura told me, he accepted pretty quickly what was going to happen to him."  (Samira)

"I was a little pissed off when I got there, maybe because I saw the damage a soul suffers when someone breaks that kind of Taboo."  (I)

"I saw and felt what Layla's soul looked like, I didn't save her like everyone says, I couldn't save any of those broken souls, all I did was put it all together like a jigsaw puzzle and form a new soul from the broken remains of those broken souls."  (I)

"You did what you could with what you had, what you did was far more than anyone else would have done or been able to do from what Freya told me."  (Samira)

"Also Layla says she remembers all of your previous lives, you saved those Fairies by giving them a new life, that's why Layla only listens to you."  (Samira)

"Why are you thinking about this now?"  (Samira)

"That Vampire was different from most people I've killed, he wasn't an Evil One, he may have done something unforgivable, but he did it for his Kingdom, I think in the end he convinced even himself that he did it for a good cause." (I)

"With good intentions, hell is full." (Samira)

"In some ways what he did was worse than the simple conquest of this Realm, he took away someone's ability to decide and controlled like a robot, he didn't even allow a person to die to be able to be reborn one day, the person's soul was trapped in an immortal body." (Samira)

"I understand that and so do you, the truth is that you created a line in your mind that it would be okay as long as the only people dying because of you are bad people or monsters." (Samira)

"But this Vampire was neither, he was just an idiot who made a wrong choice in the past and convinced himself he was right, an idiot who is called a hero by the people of this Realm." (Samira)

"Where do I put the line on how far I can go?"  (I)

"Don't put too detailed lines, just avoid killing innocent people and judge each situation separately, it took me a long time to learn this but I had more time in this world than you Father."  (Samira)

"Our ancient world was not peaceful, there was crime, war, and terrorism."  (Samira)

"But these things were often far from the daily lives of ordinary people, I know that since you arrived in this world it must have been strange to see how life is treated so lightly here."  (Samira)

"There are more wars, the acts of terrorism are on a large scale and ordinary people are allowed to kill bad guys."  (I)

"In this world, there are no prisons, the slavery system can be something horrendous for both of us, but it works as a substitute for prisons, it's not perfect, but what can be considered perfect."  (Samira)

Sigh

Why do I always have to end up thinking about these damn things, why can't I put it all behind me, how many times do I stop to wonder if what I'm doing is right?

----------

The next day Vanessa had woken up, she was completely fine with just a few weaknesses in her body.

After spending most of the night talking to Samira and putting everything that was on my mind into words, I managed to organize my thoughts and calm down.

I get everyone in the room together to discuss our new goal, vacation.

The time had come to do the tourism we wanted, we have plenty of time to go to the village of the Elves on this continent and we don't need to do anything else.

This meeting was to decide our next stop, one of the cities that Lilian told me was interesting, a city inside a mountain completely underground.

This is the place I have to go to know, Lilian even said that the place was beautiful, there are also some Dungeons there, but they don't interest me, I want to know about that city and the inhabitants who decided to live in a place like this.

This was the kind of life I was looking for, traveling the world, meeting new people, fighting some monsters, seeing beautiful scenery, and learning about new cultures.

I talk to everyone about our next destination and most are just as excited as I am, the others try to understand how a city can exist underground far from the light of the Suns.

Lilian tells us that from where we are it will take a month to get to this city, but I'm in no hurry, I'm just going to enjoy the trip.