Villain Retirement

"So, what do you call a crocodile without a tail?"

"...What?"

"...A tailless crocodile."

"..."

"...That's not a joke, John."

Back in the Paige and Paragon Superhero Agency, Paige currently had a confused expression on her face. She and the others have been trickling down the time by doing random things, and now just happened to be each of them telling jokes.

But alas, John— supposedly Riley's clone, has been telling… some sort of nonsense punchlines ever since they started. As for Ellie and her brother, the two could really only shake their heads as they looked at Paige, almost as if apologizing to her for every word that came out of John's mouth.

"Okay, what about this; The Pope, a terrorist, and a politician walked into a bar. The Pope— Boss!?"

"Huh?"

Everyone then suddenly turned their heads to the door as John suddenly stood up, only to see Riley stepping inside the building— his clothes completely tattered and his sleeves ripped off… his coat was basically drowned in blood.

And even his hair, which was always immaculate and without even a single strand loose, was now all over the place; with some even sticking to his face.

"Riley!?"

Paige quickly jumped from the sofa; wings, immediately flapping from behind her and propelling her straight towards Riley.

"Are… are you alright What happened!? Did one of those terrorists get to you!?"

"Just a little tired from… playing with two Themarians," Riley only waved his hand, before placing his hand on Paige's shoulder, "Can you blast me with soap and water?"

"Uh… sure?" Paige quickly took a step back, and without even another word from her, a shower of water suddenly emerged above Riley; almost like a waterfall as the violent drops hit his skin. This waterfall, however, just went straight through the floor— and even through his clothes.

It looked weird, however, as the blood on Riley's clothes became lighter and diluted, and very slowly washed away.

"Couldn't… you have just removed the dirt and blood with your abilities like usual?" Paige said as the water continued to bathe Riley's body,

"If I used my telekinesis now, I might accidentally do something you and Hannah wouldn't like," Riley said as he closed his eyes and turned his head up to the water.

"What?"

"If you lift something expecting it to be heavy, but it turns out it was not— and you just completely almost swing it up," Riley whispered, "It will take a few moments for me to adjust. This is the first time I stretched my telekinesis like this, Paige."

Riley then let out a long and deep breath as a subtle smile appeared on his face, "It's… quite fun. I can't kill Aerith and Diana since they both hold a place in my life… but I can't wait until we meet other themarians or the other Higher Races. This… this is going to be fun."

"Is… Riley alright?" Ellie, who was watching from afar as Riley started whispering to herself, could not help but slightly lean closer to John…

…only to see him in tears.

"Are you fucking crying!?"

"The Boss he…" John took in a huge breath as he sniffled, "I…I have never seen him so happy."

"...Ha?"

"What do you mean—"

And before Ellie could ask any more questions, the opening song of Italian Mafia Reborn rang in the air; with Riley slowly stepping out of the gushing water above him and answering his phone.

"Hello, Empress."

[What do you mean hello!?]

And even though Riley's phone was not on speakers, everyone in the lobby could hear her.

[You just killed all of our prisoners!]

"Hm?" Riley blinked a couple of times, before letting out a small hum and nodding his head, "Oh."

[Oh!? You just crushed the entire fucking building into a ball!]

"That was because I was fighting with Aerith and mother, Empress," Riley let out a small sigh, "This is embarrassing, this hasn't happened before. I probably accidentally crushed it when I destroyed Mars."

[You… what?]

Not only Empress, but Paige and the others could only look at each other as they heard Riley's words. Did… he just say he destroyed Mars?

[Is this what Crimson Paladin meant when she said it was the end of the world? Why did you and Aerith fight again!? And are you referring to Diana!?]

"Do you want me to explain everything that happened, Empress?"

[Of course!] Empress's loud breaths almost cracked Riley's phone, [I think I deserve to know if the whole planet's going to shit.]

"It already is, Empress. The House of Super killed more than a billion people," Riley clicked his tongue several times, "I wonder who this planet's leader is… so incompetent."

[...]

[...]

[...I am doing the best I could. I even asked help from your father.]

"Oh, I was joking, Empress. I think you are doing a fine job, all things considered."

[...Let's meet in the Academy in 6 hours. We have lots to discuss.]

And with those words, Empress hung up. Riley only shrugged his shoulders, before once again stepping inside the gushing water that still continued to shower out of nowhere.

As for Paige and Ellie, they finally knew why John's jokes were a bit off— they forgot whose image he was literally made from.

***

"...Let's meet in the Academy in 6 hours. We have lots to discuss."

"And so, are we safe from the gods walking around us?"

"...I think so."

Back in Toronto, Empress was still inside her tent; with Butcher standing behind her. When she received the call from Angela about something regarding Threat Level: Riley Ross, Empress quickly started dialing Riley's number.

She also tried calling Aerith, but neither were answering their phones. Empress still remained calm then, of course— but when the Aquarium literally folded into a ball, she instantly started to become nervous.

If Riley and Aerith were to suddenly fight seriously, along with Diana who was also a themarian— then Empress knew that whatever damage they received from the attacks of the House of Super would be like child's play compared to the aftermath of their battle.

And they were standing on the proof— Toronto.

The entire world would surely suffer the same fate. And the worst part of it all?

No one would be able to stop them.

The people of the world didn't know how close they were to actually cease to exist.

"Secretary-General Adaeze, they are ready for you."

"Hm? Fuck, I completely forgot about that," Empress could not help but let out a deep sigh as someone entered the tent.

"You will be alright, Empress," Butcher placed his hand on Empress's shoulder, "Just pour your heart out a hundred percent."

"..."

"..."

"...That's a bit corny," Empress scoffed, before stepping outside the tent— and as soon as she did so, an almost endless flashing of lights bombarded her eyes.

Most of them were shouting, some even pushing the other reporters beside them as Empress showed herself— but as soon as Empress opened her mouth, they all stopped.

"I… am done ignoring the signs. And I am sure that you, the people of Earth, see them too. There is a great change coming—no. It already arrived without us knowing.

Most of you probably think that I am unfit to be the one talking to all of you. After all, it… was my kind that have done this atrocious and evil act. My kind— the Supers.

Supers and Humans, perhaps it is time to accept that we truly are different people. So if you want to release your anger, if you want to take revenge, then know that this is my fault for not being able to stop it. 

But I want you to know that this act, this evil act was born not because we think we are different or that we are superior— but because there are evil people out there. Bad, evil people that would do everything in their power to rule.

Make no mistake, people. The House of Super are filth that needs to be eradicated from this world. And they have. As of this moment, the remaining members of this terrorist organization are being hunted down like the rats they are and will answer to a higher power.

Not the super, not the humans— but us. They will answer to all of us, people who are just tired of all the nonsense; of all the deaths. People who just want to live in peace and harmony; mothers, fathers, sons, and daughters, your neighbor…

…We may be different people, but throughout history, we have always been stronger together. And I believe that is true now, and will be true until the end of time.

And if there is a time that we have to work together, it is now. I am saddened to be the one telling you this, but this is just the beginning. There are bigger threats out there, threats that are bigger than all of us. More and more aliens have tried invading our home and soon— we may have no choice but to let some of them in.

And if we are not together, if they see us turning our backs on each other— they will see us as weak, vulnerable; and that is not true at all.

Let our children and their children remember this not as the day that we lost… but as the day we truly and finally came together. Let them not look in their friends' eyes with fear, prejudice, or shame. This has to stop now and it has to stop here!

So please…

…let's just fucking help each other."