Ultimate Scheming System

Translator: Nyoi-Bo Studio  Editor: Nyoi-Bo Studio

Mail?

Xu Que was startled by the system prompt. Then, joy shone in his eyes! He immediately called up the System. There was a massive package on the interface, which read:

Sender: Ye Qiu

Recipient: Xu Que

“My SIM card! Is it finally here?”

A smile graced Xu Que’s lips as he moved the parcel into the System’s Deposit Storage with his mind. Subsequently, he led the team forward as he continued his anti-counterfeiting campaign. The only difference was that this time Xu Que quickened the pace of his crackdown.

Outside the city, in the fourth territory, Xu Que stated, “Fellow cultivator Zhong Kui, this territory is one of the most rampant abusers! They have robbed many villages and even sold their children!”

Boom!

Without further words, Xu Que lifted his wrists and flung the chain. The territory was instantly destroyed!

…

In the fifth territory, once again Xu Que stated, “Fellow cultivator Zhong Kui, the cultivators here are also abominable! They dubbed themselves the Heavenly Fuck Faction, while doing shady stuff. They even claimed that Xu Que was the one who told them to call themselves the Heavenly Fuck Faction!”

“What! Copycats? Destroy them!”

Xu Que glared and threw the chains again. The whole manor was destroyed on the spot.

…

That night, Xu Que destroyed many forces that were imposters of the Exploding Heavens Faction. When they returned to the Imperial City the next day at dawn, the whole city was turned upside down by his actions and shocked speechless.

“Damn!”

“Zhong Kui alone has wiped out so many forces in just a single day and night?”

“He’s terrifying!”

“Exactly! The Exploding Heavens Faction is a force to be reckoned with!”

“Hey, who in their right mind would offend the Exploding Heavens Faction? Only fools would be so suicidal, running around pretending to be the Exploding Heavens Faction!”

“Yeah! The Exploding Heavens Faction is so prestigious that every one of them is a sovereign. They are not people who lowlives can impersonate!”

“Now that the real Exploding Heavens Faction has come out and cleaned up those fake gangsters, we can finally have some peace in the Imperial City!”

“Yes! Thanks to the real Exploding Heavens Faction!”

Many people applauded them heartily. In less than half a day, however, the situation changed again.

“Plant them, plant them all!”

“Plant them HARD!”

Leading dozens of cultivators to the many barren hills outside the city, Xu Que commanded them to plant all kinds of slogans all across the mountains.

“The Exploding Heavens Faction is invincible!”

The Exploding Heavens Faction is mighty!”

“Zhong Kui of the Exploding Heavens Faction was here!”

“Joker of the Exploding Heavens Faction was here!”

“If the Exploding Heavens Faction goes to war, not a blade of grass will grow!”

“When the Exploding Heavens Faction appears; all they leave behind is a thread and a single needle!”

…

Countless slogans flutter in the wind on the mountains like bullet comments on a video. They are quite a sight to behold. They seemed to spread toward the Imperial City slowly.

All of a sudden, the people in the Imperial City are dumbfounded.

“What the heck?”

“This…what kind of atrocity is this?”

“I feel faint! To think that after the fake Exploding Heavens Faction had finally gone away, the real Exploding Heavens Faction stayed, and they are just as frustrating!”

“Fool! The fake Exploding Heavens Factions were murderous, but the real Exploding Heavens Faction is just annoying!”

“You’re right. After all, they are just a lustful and mischievous faction, completely different from all those whores outside!”

…

Eventually, the guards in the Imperial City turned a blind eye to their ways. Xu Que’s promotion department of the Exploding Heavens Faction had inserted slogans everywhere. Meanwhile, Xu Que and Buttface had returned to the Imperial City. Just when they had entered an inn to settle down, a palace guard came to see them. It turned out that Madam Ya wanted to see him.

Xu Que smiled. Madam Ya had most likely wanted to hear some news about Xu Que. He waved his hand and replied to the guard, “Return and inform Madam Ya that Xu Que will be there tonight!”

“Yes sir!” The guard responded quickly and left.

Xu Que then entered the chamber with Buttface. Buttface immediately occupied the bed and posed seductively, saying, “Yours truly is tired! Little Que, get me some food!”

Slam!

Xu Que threw the hook at him, and it made a muffled sound as it hit Buttface. One hit was all it took to deform the hook utterly. Buttface blanked out for a moment, then immediately rolled on the bed, wailing painfully, “I’m hurt! I’m very much injured and am dying!

“Cut the act and get out of here! Alternatively, I’ll make you watch me eat tonight as you go dinner-less!” Xu Que glared at Buttface.

He had long known that Buttface’s physical body was invincible. Nothing could hurt him, but he pretended to be injured and wail every single time. Isn’t he just asking for a beating then?

“What, we’re eating good stuff tonight? What are we eating? What are we eating?” Buttface’s eyes lit up upon hearing that there was food, his face was full of excitement.

“Meat stew! Braised meat too!” Xu Que responded coolly.

“Wow, that’s good. I like it. By the way, what kind of meat is it?”

“Dog meat!”

“Screw you!”

…

After a few exchanges with Buttface, Xu Que successfully drove him off the bed. Then he lay down on it and quickly called up the System interface.

In the Deposit Storage, the package that was delivered is lying quietly.

“System, open the parcel!” Xu Que’s heartbeat quickened.

Swish!

Several beams of light flashed across the interface of the Deposit Storage.

Ding! “A new item ‘mobile SIM card’ is found.”

Ding! “A new item ‘200 Mutant Counterfeit Cigarettes’ is found!”

Damn!

Fake cigarettes? Moreover, they are mutant?

Xu Que’s eyes opened wide with surprise, and he sat up from the bed. He then read the detailed introduction of the two items:

[Mobile SIM Card]

Mobile SIM card from Earth, a necessary smart card for your GSM digital cell phone!

[Mutant Counterfeit Cigarettes]

Fake cigarettes from Earth; had become mutant after being polluted by unknown sources on their journey.

Effect: “Mutant Counterfeit Cigarettes Grant You Endless Power!” When the host smokes cigarettes when acting tough, he will be rewarded with double Acting Tough Points.

Side effects: Smoking is harmful to your health.

…

“Crap!”

Xu Que cursed under his breath after reading the introduction. Don’t tell him that these cigarettes were just ordinary counterfeit cigarettes that had mutated on their travels from Earth.

“Damn, this Ye Qiu must be a fool. Not only did he buy fake cigarettes, but he also bought 200 of them. With his IQ, it will be difficult for him to inherit my name of the Act Tough King!” Xu Que shook his head in disappointment.

However, he was kind of glad. This fake mutant cigarette was almost too good to be true! With the double reward, the day that he could return to Earth would not be far off! However, the only thing that excited him right now was the SIM card.

“System, quick! Retrieve my cell phone and the SIM card. Oh yeah, and please retrieve the Signal Boosters too!” Xu Que called the System and took everything out. He then picked up the SIM card and inserted it into the cell phone. Finally, he set up the four Signal Boosters.

Beep beep…

With the crisp sound of the phone booting up, the screen lit up. It was a familiar feeling that Xu Que had not experienced for a long time.

Buttface, who was next to him, heard the noise and came over immediately. Eyes wide with curiosity, he asked, “What’s this, boy? Can you eat it? It’s so small that it doesn’t look very filling?”

“It’s called a cell phone!” Xu Que was in such a good mood that he skipped the usual scolding. He looked at his phone pleasantly as he waited for it to turn on.

Buttface’s eyes were bright and excited: “Cell phone?”

Xu Que laughed, his eyes falling on the screen of his cell phone. At this moment, the phone had successfully and completely booted up!

…

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