Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Gumihou: Let’s forget about the incident realistically.

Siegwald: Beer!!

Gumihou: Also, deleted a lot of wait, what? But, what?

After that little ‘incident’, nothing of note happened. Thank goodness.

Anyway, after a night of drinking to forget about the fourth treasure chest… that’s right, what treasure chest? I don’t know nothing about no treasure chest, humph. What was I talking about again?

Oh, right.

After a night of drinking, I woke up the next day with a slight headache.

Breakfast was a choice of something light (Japanese breakfast of onigiri, soup and pickles) and/or something heavy (grilled meat on rice).

Shortly after that, we set out on [Mizumaru] once again.

The trip was fairly smooth. Smooth by regular dungeon standards anyway.

At one point, we were attacked by Cetus again, but we fought them off. In fact, we killed off so many of the Cetus that the Drops collected by Sui could no longer fit into Feodora-san’s [Item Box]

“What should we do?” asked Gideon-san.

“Hmm, it would be a waste to throw them away, but we don’t really have the space.”

“Umu, it’s tough, but we need our weapons and tools more.”

“…sorry…”

Naturally, I can’t just leave this alone, right? “Hey, um, so, I can’t help overhearing this, but why don’t I help you guys store some things? Instead of keeping your Drops in her [Item Box], Feodora-san could keep a tally of your items instead?”

They protested. I insisted. Finally, I invoked the ‘Are we not comrades of a joint party out to conquer this dungeon together’ talk and managed to convince them to let me help them carry the rest of their Drop items for them.

Aside from the Cetus attacks, there seemed to be a lot of shark attacks.

The sharks, about 4 to 5 meters long, would swim past us, their dorsal fin cutting through the water threateningly before they were unceremoniously stabbed by Sui. A flutter of fear always ran through me whenever I see these fins, but Sui always takes care of these ‘big fishes’ quickly and collected plenty of Sharkskin and meat Drops.

Although, I can’t think of what people would make from sharkskins. A wasabi grater? Do they even have wasabi here?

Hopefully, the Adventurer’s Guild will buy these from me.

As for the meat, I heard that shark meat could be a little gamey, but surely it would be good when deep-fried, pan-fried, batter-fried…

Well, all I can say is that there is certainly no shortage of sharks in this area.

“Hey,” I said as I leaned over Sui, “The sharks are all gone.”

“Indeed, they have all gone away,” said Grandpa Gon.

“Kukuku, it is now my turn…”

“I am looking forward to it as well.”

“Why are you two suddenly so enthusiastic?” I said suspiciously.

Fer smirked.

I knew right away that I won’t like his answer.

“Sea Serpents.”

““Sea Serpents!”” Dora-chan cried, “”Let me at ‘em!””

“”Sui wants to pew pew a sea snake too~!!””

Ah… what is this reaction…

“Wait, what did Fenrir-sama say?” Gaudino-san asked.

“S-s-s-sea Serpents…” Gideon-san stuttered.

“Should we be worried?” said Siegwald-san. “I mean, your familiars did kill off that whirlpool creature that’s said to feed on Sea Serpents…”

“Eugh, I was trying to forget that…”

That’s more like it. That’s what a normal reaction should be like!

“It’s here,” said Fer.

Sure enough, a large snake-like creature exploded from the sea, lunging itself forward with a gaping mouth filled with razor-sharp teeth…

“What the-”

Before I could finish my comment, Fer’s forepaw moved and the Sea Serpent fell back into the sea in pieces.

“”Sneaky~! Uncle Fer is sneaky~!!””

Sui sounded uncharacteristically angry.

“”Yeah! Yeah! No fair!””

“Do not worry,” said Grandpa Gon. “There are plenty where that came from.”

“P-plenty?” I stammered weakly.

“”Plenty?!””

“”Lots~?””

“Mukouda-san, I wish to ask for clarification on your conversation with Ancient Dragon-sama but… did Ancient Dragon-sama just mention that there are… more of the Sea Serpents?”

I turned to Gaudino-san and, in between the telepathic cheers in my head, I heard several explosive splashing sounds.

Splash–!

Splash–!

Splash–!

Splash–!

Splash–!

Splash–!

“They’re here!”

I turned to see six Sea Serpents splashing towards us.

“Excellent,” said Fer. “There are six of them. Let us take out one each. Master, you take one too.”

“Wait, what?”

“W-what about the last one…” Gideon-san asked.

“If your entire team could not take on one Sea Serpent, I shall destroy it.”

“”Noo, I’ll do it! I volunteer!!”” Dora-chan shrieked.

“”Nooo~~ Sui will do it~~!””

I was still stuck on one thing Fer said.

“Wait, wait, wait, why are they taking one Sea Serpent as a team and I have to take on one alone?!!” I screamed.

“Do not worry Master,” said Grandpa Gon. “I am here to assist should you need help.”

“Hahhh… it’s so great to have you with me Grandpa Gon,” I said.

“Hey! What about me? I can chop up that Sea Serpent into bits in a flash,” Fer snapped.

“Please look after me well, Grandpa Gon.”

“Gunununu…”

“Yosh! You heard Fenrir-sama!” Gaudino-san yelled. “We’re taking on one of the Sea Serpents!”

“Ou!”

“Kill ‘em and make gold!”

“Delicious food! Grandson!”

Wait, that last part… was that Feodora-san? That’s your battle cry?

Whatever, the Sea Serpents were nearly on top of us now. My mithril spear was suddenly in my hand (when did I take it out…) and as one of the Sea Serpents lunge forward with its mouth wide open—

“Fire Ball!!”

The Sea Serpent… made an annoyed face at me.

Then it made a hissing sound and snapped its mouth open again. The powerful jaws struck at me again and again, but I somehow managed to avoid being eaten.

I did my best to cast Fire Ball whenever it opened its mouth. My mithril spear mostly became a vaulting pole for me to launch myself away from its attacks. I managed to smack it a few times with the pole, all that did was pissed it off even more.

Finally, it happened.

I slipped on Sui’s slippery body and fell on my back.

There was a triumphant smirk on the creature’s face just before it launch itself forward, large mouth open to take a bite out of me.

“Gyaaaa—!!!”

I instinctively thrust my spear forward and the pointy end stabbed through its throat and out the back of its head. It stopped inches from my forward hand. [1]

The creature wriggled and struggled for a moment, its jaws trying to shut on the mithril spear. Then, finally, it stopped moving and disappeared.

I did it.

I, a mere ordinary person, have successfully defeated an S Rank Sea Serpent all by myself.

Go me!

Gumihou: Made the dramatic scene actually dramatic instead of tediously ‘awawawa Mukoudawawa’

[1] In the original text, Mukouda ‘stabbed it through the eye’… frankly speaking, it is harder to attack a creature that looms higher than you and attacks with its mouth wide open in the eye. Let’s stab it through the throat instead.

Also, it was described that the ‘spear went halfway through its eye’. Considering the size of the head needed for a creature to have a head big enough for a spear to go ‘halfway through its eye’ the various logistics just don’t add up, pan down or roll over properly. The sea serpent would have to flop upside down and stab itself through the eye.

Unless… Sui has grown so huge that she’s the size of a battleship or a small island and the sea serpents are throwing themselves up her slippery body and slipping down… Even then, it’s still easier to just throw the spear into a gaping maw.

In short, let’s just… go with Gumi’s version.

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