This Eroge Won't Make Me Fall!



A cloud of smoke covered the light of the merciless sun as the flavored puff of the vape pen came blowing out of my mouth.

In one hand a vape, in the other a mojito, on the top was a parasol keeping me in shade and below me was the deck chair.

The beach in front, the sun up above, splashing water in my ears along with hung over bastards.

Perfect, perfect morning.

I was in a really big battle after having been reborn in another world when I met this final boss kinda thing and was sent back to my world. Once back, I crashed a satellite, used it as a boat, came over to fucking Bermuda and participated in a rave while cosplaying as a demon.

I could probably write a Kamazon best seller with this.

While I was sipping on my drink, thinking of getting the nobel prize in literature, a shadows was cast over me. I pushed up the sun glasses and looked to my side only to find one brown haired man in beach shorts standing with his arms crossed.

"What are you doing here?" The brown-head, Albert, asked.

"It's part of the Bermuda Beach Afterglow," I said, waving my hands around. I pointed at the next seat under the parasol. "Seat there, shack right behind. Get a beer or not, and just relax."

Albert looked as if he had a lot to say, but only moved toward the shack and got himself a mojito too before splaying himself on the deck chair.

He covered his face with one hands.

"What are we supposed to do?" Albert hummed.

Come on.

What a bummer.

This guy's words were the spiritual equivalent of seeing rain on this beach day.

"Just sit back and relax, I said it."

Albert grit his teeth and snapped at me.

"We don't have time for this… Fucking lame ass party and this, this… whatever this thing we're doing right now."

Excuse me? Rude much?

I propped myself up and glared back at him.

"The party was sick, ok?"

As if to confirm my words, one of the couples strolling on the beach turned our way and called out to me.

"Hey! Satan, great party last night."

I flashed them the devil hand sign and muttered an 'appreciated' before turning back to Albert.

"See that? It was a good party. And as I said, this is Bermuda Beach Afterglow."

Albert ran his hands through his hair and sighed.

"That doesn't matter, you don't understand."

Sighing, I fell on the chair again and took another sip of my mojito.

"If you can't escape it, Albert, enjoy it."

"You want me to enjoy this thing? Are you fucking with me?"

"What other choice do you have? It's better than moping around and doing nothing. Oh damn, super almighty huge problem is on our hands now and that was just one of those fucks, well, cry about it then."

I was growing exasperated at their attitude now.

But I knew it wasn't unfounded. I had been like that too and was helped through it. This was no way to go about it.

I had to cheer these guys up, as much as I disliked it.

Three heads were better than one. Three motivated heads even more so.

"Where is Luka anyway?" I asked. "Last I saw him he was getting touchy with some girl. Before that couple from before handed me LSD at least."

Albert winced.

"Where did you wake up anyway?" he asked.

"On this chair?"

"I see."

I looked back and was about to expand my senses all over the island when Luka walked over almost announcing his presence in the distance. There were few people on Earth as strong as us in the first place.

After a short while, Luka was in front of us too. I pulled over another of the deck chairs and parasol on my other side with telekinesis and Albert pointed the third guy at the shack.

"Had fun last night?" I asked. "Mind if I snitch to Hoya?"

Luka glared at me.

And then, he spoke up.

"I don't understand you. I don't understand anything."

"Oh man, you too—"

Albert cut in before I could chide the man.

"He means the language, you're speaking in English."

Oh.

Guess someone had to buy Luka that beer or mojito or whatever.

***

The sun came overhead by the time we indulged in the Bermuda Beach Afterglow. One thing about modern day Bermuda was that you could never tell when a party was about to begin and when everyone was going to retreat to their rooms.

After a long time sitting around, I noticed Albert and Luka still seemed to be out of it. I didn't need to see their reactions to tell, I could tell.

In the end, I decided to sit up.

"Alright, lets get a move on."

"Where to?"

"Your grandma."

"Where did you hear that? It's not what you think it means."

I sighed at Luka's words and dusted my clothes as I stretched my hands above me.

We had no money. No contacts. Well we did have contacts, but not really, not after 10 years of our death. I doubted anyone even remembered us.

I could just hope that people from back then were alive, though the average life expectancy was large, it wasn't so for hunters who dived into gates all the time.

With this giant problem on hand, I did know of one person we could turn to.

"Where are we going?" Albert asked again.

"Let's go the Wessler Estate."

Albert's old home.

And also, the home of one the largest corporate empires in the world.

"I don't wanna." The proposal was rejected in a moment by Albert. Well, I expected that.

Getting these guys in the right headspace took priority. So, I snapped my fingers and trapped them in my shield like a box and carried them along.

They screamed in surprise, but I acted as if I couldn't hear them.

With the two idiots in tow, I casually strode through the city where the cars flew rather close to the ground. Just like that, I got on the bus, paid with the gig money I had received for god knows what reason from the Bermuda Beach Party organizers, and reached in front of the enormous crystal mines of Bermuda.

Which had now turned into, the portal transport stations.

A spiritual kidnapping was fine, wasn't it?