This Eroge Won't Make Me Fall!



A legion of angels had come to greet us.

"They're here!"

"Take stance!!!"

The demon lords and their cronies behind me all got on their toes and prepared to take them on when I raised my hand and glared at them, forcing them to stand down.

"Don't move, don't attack. There's no need for any war here."

"I hope this is not just some dumb kid trying to talk things out."

"Like all 'uwa no violence, violence bad!'" Kinda stuff?"

These damned demons, were they also insulting me now?

"Just wait you little bastards, when it comes to fighting I'll make you cry blood."

I meant it. I was just holding on to the fights for now for the bigger fish. It didn't mean I didn't itch nonetheless.

The angels came closer. As they appeared, I noticed most of them were women.

"Return! Heathens!!" One of them said, and then started giggling. "Oh sorry, heathens sounds so pretentious."

"What do you plan to call them then, demons?"

"That sounds self serving."

"Yeah, it makes you sound narcissistic."

"We all should be open to all kinds of people. It's even that month."

"What month?"

"But guys, they ARE demons. By not calling them demons you are doing some serious culture appropriation."

"Now that you mention it."

I looked to the side where Dawn stood.

"Are all of them like that?"

"Told you this place can burn."

Didn't seem like a bad idea anymore.

I turned back to the demons while the angels kept talking about the most politically correct way to send us back.

"You guys? Wanna fight after all?"

Bael scoffed.

"I don't want to be ten meters in range of these bastards."

"Not just you, Lord Bael. You were pretty gutsy, handle it yourself."

That made sense. Little bastards turned their back on me the moment they were inconvenienced.

A whirr sounded next to me and I turned to my side to see Albert still on his bike. He rode here on his fucking bike. I thought this guy was slightly sane but it seemed I thought wrong.

"You do have a plan, right? I am so annoyed that I want to ruin your plans."

"Just so we're clear, everyone is like this, right?" I asked Dawn again. There was a lack of male angels after all.

"All of them. Every single one of them."

"How did you turn out different?"

"Sometimes the rotting branch is the only good one."

That made zero sense, but I was gonna let it slide.

Now then, I had no doubt about what was happening here.

No one would be stupid enough to start discussing politics in front of their enemies. These guys clearly were informed of our coming, and were likely told to let us slide by as well. It was more than certain that they had just decided to play a joke on us.

Knowing Dawn's personality, it didn't seem that far fetched.

"Ahem! Alright, non angels!"

"THAT is what you came up with!?" I screamed and then sighed. Whatever. Not my thing.

"Oh my god, I am so offended! How can you not like it!"

"Why are you shouting? That's so toxic istg."

"Wait a second, gotta twiit this."

I was about to be cancelled amongst the angels, huh?

"Alright, alright. You guys are here to stop us, right?"

The angels all stopped writing on some tablets and looked our way. That was definitely the Terrifying Teal Tablet. They all had one.

That was crazy.

"R-right! Don't think you can escape! Non-angel beings!"

"Beings is kinda existentialist."

"Non angel humans."

"sexist. They are not even humans."

"We will chase you to the end of the world, Non Angels!"

I snapped my fingers and in my hands fell a book.

I was getting too annoyed here. I couldn't bare this for another second.

"Alright, crow guy who tried to kick me, come up here."

The other demons all tilted their head.

Sniffing, Barbatos clenched crow guy in a chokehold and brought him over.

"There you go, his name is Raum… hick."

"Thank you!" I patted her head.

"Eugene Hall! Crow guy, do you not even remember me—"

"—Hold this."

I handed the crow guy the book in my hand. Surprised, he picked it up and turned it around.

Taking in a deep breath, I shouted.

"THIS GUY HAS THE NEWEST EDITION OF THE FORBIDDEN PALACE BL!!!"

All the angels stopped in their tracks.

Their eyes twinkled as drool spilled from their lips. They looked at the crow guy with a lustful grin.

"There…"

"Stop right there and hand it over."

Like a low, creeping storm, their words reached our ears.

Scary. Scary bastards.

"HAND IT OVER!!"

"GIMME THE BOOK!"

And like the storm itself, they erupted and charged into Raum all at once.

"EEEK!"

Raum grabbed the book tight and flew in the skies. As a crow, he likely knew what it was like to be stared at as prey. And his hunters were on his ass.

"Lord Raum!"

"Wait for us!"

Raum's legion also flew into the skies and chased behind him.

"HAND IT OVEERRRR!!!"

And so did the enormous army of angels.

I watched them all fly away with a smile and waved my hands.

"Bye bye, Raum!"

The angels all disappeared like the twinkle in their eyes into the horizons.

Bael and Lucifuge walked over to me then and grabbed me by my collars.

"You little, these guys knew we were coming."

"You said you won't be giving them a letter and did so anyway!"

I shook my head.

"Look, I didn't tell them at all, alright? They just knew we were coming."

"How…"

"And I knew, that they knew we were coming."

"Oh…"

"And I think they know, that I knew, that they knew that we were coming."

"You think?"

"No, actually. I know that they know that I knew that they knew that we were coming."

Babel's cat and toad scratched at me in rage.

Alright. I'll stop.

They let go of me and sighed once more.

"Look, I've got this handled, alright? There is one of them that can see the future, and they're going to welcome this discussion with wide open arms."

Agares walked over then and placed a hand on my shoulders.

"You're right. There is someone who can see the future."

Bael and Lucifuge were both fairly shocked at his casual remark.

"But why do you think they will work for you, child? Why do you say that they will welcome your discussion? What are you hiding?"

"Hiding, well you'll find out. That's what I brought you here for."

I cracked my neck as a grin spilled on my face.

"As for the why. They will have no choice but to do so."