This Eroge Won't Make Me Fall!



The days passed with great speed as the day of the festival approached closer than ever. The students worked hard day and night for their events, trying their best to make the big day a success, a success of money and faction power so that they could lord over the rest. Really, it was nothing more than their selfish desire to be at the top that was driving them ahead.

Or so thought the principal of the academy, Lushan von Bergus. He could blink his eyes and watch while giggling as the day fast approached and before anyone knew.

"I hereby announce, the beginning of the faction festival!!!"

"WOAAAAAAH!!"

Cheers rang out as confetti flew high in the blue skies. Students and teachers alike let out their inner kids and screamed in joy and excitement as one of the biggest events and the day that marked the end of the first trimester came around to the school.

"Sachertorte Faction's cooking competition starts soon! Followed by the eating competition!"

"Student Council is hosting a quiz in the morning—"

"—BOO! Fuck your quizzes!"

Lushan smiled. Such sincere students. The islands all around were bustling with life as decorations and embellishments filled the buildings around. Red flags hung between the houses and banners of all kinds danced. Many students had sent out hot air balloons fueled by magic spells, below them hanging their events.

A smile appeared on the principal's face as he walked around the streets.

"Principal, principal, want a skewer?"

"Oh dearie, how I would love one. How much do I owe you, miss?"

"On the house, principal!"

Lushan smiled, tears threatening to spill out of his eyes. The students were sincere! With a smile, he made way with the skewer in his hand. As soon as he bit into it, a coal-like taste assaulted his tongue.

"That one was burnt, huh?"

God damn brats.

Lushan continued enjoying the festival, now and then he would meet with his fellow teachers and converse with them, and then and now he would meet some students he knew and would be bullied by them.

It was when the sun was overhead, a few hours after the festival began and the crowd was at its peak.

The sky above them started to turn red.

"Huh!?"

"W-what is happening?"

A surge of magical energy, no, of demonic energy! Lushan's eyes widened as he turned to the skies, a dome taking over not just this, but all of the floating islands in the archipelago.

"It-ts like then!"

"It's the same as then!"

The students screamed and Lushan's heart cooled down.

Demons? Again? He wasn't going to let it slide this time, not after what had happened previously. Whether it be Agares or Balam, he wasn't going to let people injure his students.

Right as Lushan's Aether went ablaze, the dome above changed shapes, and out came…

Don Chiik.

"WOAH! It's Don Chiik!"

"Woohoo! Don Chiik! Don Chiik! Don Chiik!"

"Kyaa, Don Chiik, look at me!"

"That's a squirrel you sick fuck!~"

"D-don Chiik?" Lushan muttered. As he focused the mana in his eyes, all the other islands came into his view, all of them seeing the same sight as him.

"CHiik!" Don Chiik screamed. Next to him, subtitles appeared in the dome. "The don is back to steal your nuts! If you want to stop me, you will have to get together with a partner for love!"

What a villain! He was telling the kids how to defeat him!

"Only through the power of love can this Don Chiik be stopped!"

"Don't stop Don Chiik! We want to hug you!"

Lushan decided to create a psychiatric ward in the school for his students.

"Huhuhu! Chiik! The only way to get with your most fitting partner is to go to the ALEN faction and meet your fated partner! Or else, I will have all your nuts! Hahahaahah!"

Lushan was fairly confused, but the students lost their composure and screamed out loud in excitement. It seemed most of them already knew about this Chiik guy. Thinking of it, he had seen a similar name in his assistant's report.

The don told a few more ways to defeat himself and then disappeared, claiming the students only had the day to defeat him.

Balloons holding the ALEN faction's advertisements and location started floating up, with many different factions alongside them written with a small 'in association with.'

Those kids were probably the worst of all the annoying ones in this school.

Shaking his head, Lushan sighed in relief that no demon was coming around and set off to enjoy the festival again.

A long time passed as he participated and handed out the awards in the student council's quiz, to a stout student from the east named Ikuro Asahi.

He then moved over to a singing competition in the nightingale faction, it was surprisingly won by a love song from a guy that looked metal as hell with a mohawk stretching into the skies.

Just like that, the principal enjoyed many facets of the festival.

A slight tinge of regret remaining in his heart, though, as he was all alone. But that was what his fate was, though the average lifespan was a hundred and forty years, not many were as fit as him at his age.

Quite a few students started walking around wearing Don Chiik shirts not long after, many of them with pamphlets in their hands. All the factions started getting crowded with couples.

"What's this now?" Wondered Lushan. Thinking it best to give it a look, the principal found himself on the island populated by only four students, the ALEN faction.

He was immediately met by a white-haired student with a stiff face.

"Eugene Hall, my dearest student."

"Yeah, who?"

"It's I, the principal. Can you please grow savvy with my face already?"

"Keep hoping," said Eugene with a frown.

"And what keeps you so down? Did things inside not work out as planned?"

"HAHA!" Someone screamed from behind. When the principal looked back, he found Noa Roselle. "He entered the maze and met up with Albert! Hahaha!"

"Shut up already."

The principal stifled a laugh.

"Then, do you just go in?" He asked. "I would be quite interested in seeing this place…"

"Sure," said Eugene. "You can buy any merch inside. There's a date plan as well for you to increase your power of love and defeat Chiik. Just make sure you come to see us once before leaving."

"Why is that?"

"SO I CAN CALL THE FUCKING COPS YOU OLD COOT!"

The principal reeled back.

"What are you doing trying to get into a match-up maze with KIDS?!"

"Oh? But there are no kids inside, for now, we've made it a teacher-only spot," said Noa. "Even if there were, no one will think the principal as predatory now, we'll just see it as a fun outing with a parent?"

"Noa Roselle! I'll make sure you get an A in all your classes! Eugene, Expulsion."

"Yap yap yap," said Eugene. "I am gonna call the cops anyway."

"Hah! And if I find anything inappropriate in there, you're getting expelled."

Eugene waved the principal away and Noa guided him in. The moment he took a step through the floral pink gates, the narrow walls of the maze filled his sight. In front of him after a short walk, the principal found a board leading to two ways.

[Cringe to the left, Based on the right]

"Alright, expulsion it is."

The principal decided to entertain the maze for now. From golems to cats, all kinds of beings appeared in front of him to lead him to the next path.

Swords or spells, hard rock or jazz, coffee or tea, all kinds of strange questions were asked and after crossing the twentieth one, the principal found a gate in front of him.

He opened it up and stepped inside.

"Ah," a voice from inside came out. Immediately, the person inside stood up and bowed. "Principal, I didn't expect to see you here."

"Haha, miss secretary, I see you have been up to some fun."

He locked the door behind him and stepped inside. Right then, a board in the small room flipped over, and out came writings.

[Congratulations! You are a match! Whether you're friends or foes, place aside your status, powers, and differences aside for a day and have some fun! Love might just bloom, and even if it doesn't, friendship can!]

"Haha, what weird things these kids are up to," Lushan muttered. He was quite nervous about being stuck with his secretary now.

Out of all the people, she was the only one who had been around him the most.

"Right… we should scold them once…"

The secretary's eyes shifted to the table, where next to a case with refreshments from Sachertorte was a pamphlet filled with a date plan. The evening had already come around and the plans were greatly changed.

Lushan didn't miss the secretary's eyes fluttering over the pamphlet over and over. He slowly toon a deep breath and looked to the side.

[have some fun!]

Fun…

"Miss Secretary."

"Principal."

"Ah… you go first."

"No, no, please… Go ahead, principal…"

Lushan looked around, and a deep breath filled his lungs.

"Since we're here already… would you like to see what these kids have in plan for us?"

"You mean… the date?"

Lushan stuttered, but nodded his head. "Y-yes, the date, if you will."

The secretary shot up from her seat, her cheeks flushed a deep pink.

"I-I'd love to!"

The day was ending, but the night was young yet.

The power of love had filled the air, it seemed Don Chiik wasn't going to win anytime soon.