This Eroge Won't Make Me Fall!

"The young man raised his hand and proclaimed, 'Let's all live happily ever after.' And they all lived happily ever after. The end..."

"Young master, how was it—UHHK!"

Before the bastard in front of me could speak another word, I sent a wad of papers hurtling through the air and slam his face. The man toppled backward, so I picked up the closest paperweight from my desk and landed a headshot straight on his temple.

Keith jumped from the sofa in my study and knelt next to the annoying scriptwriter.

"ONE! TWO! THREE!" Keith slammed the floor multiple times and raised his hands. "KO!"

"Shut up!" I snapped. It was already annoying hearing that useless bastard's script, now Keith was acting up as well.

"Y-young master..." the scriptwriter, the most learned villager on our hand right now, slowly raised his head. I had high hopes for him when I heard he studied at a higher school in the count's territory and returned, but his skills as a writer made me want to burst my eyes and gouge my ears.

"What lacked?" He asked.

What lacked?

WHAT LACKED?!

"Keith, kick this bastard down."

"You got it," Keith stood up and was about to kick the man without a moment's hesitation, but Lily dived in from the other seat and held his leg back.

"Don't! You still need a wage slave to write stuff, young master!"

I rested my head on my hand and sighed. Lily was right, his output speed was good and whatever the case, he was asking for points he could improve on, he was a good SLA—worker. Nothing was wrong with that.

"Jim," I called out.

"Y-yes!"

I turned my head to the side and looked down at him, I wasn't sure of things, but I bet I was looking cool right here. I learned it my from my etiquette instructor.

"Your story... lacks conflict."

"Conflict?"

"Correct, you don't have anything coming in the way of people achieving things. A good story is made from conflict. If a conflict is resolved too soon, then too, the story will end up bad."

"I see..." Jim nodded and slowly stood up, his eyes seemed to be somewhere else, but he was still listening.

"Make something that makes a person's heart throb. Remember, the best spice is tension. If your hero doesn't lose even once, then what will be interesting about him? You need to make the people lean off their seats when they watch the play."

"Lose... a problem!" Jim clenched his copy of the script he had prepared and crumbled it, his eyes sparkled as he shouted.

He suddenly turned on his heels and marched toward the door of the study. "I understand! Young master, I won't let you down anymore! I will make sure something comes in the way of the mai—ACK!"

The door to the study swung open and slammed his face with great force. All three of us flinched as Jim keeled over to his back.

Maria emerged from behind the door, looking down at the man, she stuck her tongue out.

"A conflict, just like that."

Just like that.

***

Keith tossed the fainted Jim out of the window and now the four residents of the Hall mansion sat together in the study. I took the head of the table on the single couch while the other three sat in front of me.

"Young master, I found that guy whose hand you cut off." Maria broke the ice with her words, taking lead of the conversation.

"Found? You mean, ground?"

"Lily..."

"At least make sense,"

"C'mon, she tried."

Lily lowered her head as the three of us went off, she must have been embarrassed.

Seeing her like that, Maria coughed and tapped the table again.

"Coming back, young master. That man had stepped out of the town and was heading to the forest route with a madder look."

I raised one brow and urged her to continue.

"He kept chanting a name like an idiot, 'Dark Moon Bandits.'"

"We heard that name back at the adventurer's guild, young master."

Keith chimed in, crossing his hands.

I nodded and looked at Maria again. "What did you find?"

Maria nodded and leaned a bit further. "They seem to be posers."

"What's that?" I didn't expect to hear that. Even Keith seemed a bit confused at her words.

"The original Dark Moon Bandits are a legend, it is mostly a story from the Mirxa territory, so we don't know about it further in the Hall fiefdom, but this place that is at the edge has heard a lot of the stories."

Maria then sighed and continued.

"The original Dark Moon Bandits operated 60 years ago and were one of the biggest bandits in the Mirxa territory. The father of the current Margrave is said to be the one who took them down, and that was what got him his position after the war."

"Then these guys are just fakes, huh?"

"Did you hear about them coming from adventurers?" Keith asked.

"I did, a lot of them said they met the bandits. They are phonies because the original ones would never leave a witness alive. That said, it was quite the strong adventurers who said they came right back. The adventurer's guild will likely take steps against them, but they will have to hand it over to the knights unless someone comes to them with a request."

I crossed my legs and thought.

Bandits. Their base was in the Ediab forest. Someone from the knight order was also about to reach out to them after being driven to a corner, so we can't exactly trust the knights yet. And since a knight like him would go to them fanatically, coupled with the testimony of adventurers, it also spoke a fair bit about their capability.

There could be many things behind it, many reasons for their surfacing, but one thing was explicitly clear.

They would be a thorn in our side eventually. We were like sitting ducks waiting for them to come to shoot us for now.

"In such a case, there's only one thing we can do."

I could hear Keith smirk and Maria nod.

"Let's get those bastards before they can think of getting us."